August 31st

So much could have gone very wrong when Hermione made her quick trip to Hogsmeade. After her unexpected conversation with Rodolphus in the lounge of her abandoned home, she had been rattled, unable to focus long on anything. She was glad that she had Oliver's trunk to give her something to do in order to cover up how distracted she was. The rest of the day was spent sorting out his belongings, deciding what to take with him to Hogwarts, and what to store in his enchanted leather bag until they knew for certain where they would end up.

Antonin was frustrated when he learned she'd gone to Hogsmeade for a trunk, of all things. While he didn't let his temper get the better of him, he made it clear in no uncertain terms that he didn't approve. She shot back with a reminder that she wasn't his prisoner. After he sighed and conceded that she was right, he kissed her and begged her not to go back alone ever again. If she wanted to go, he wanted to be at her side. It was too dangerous otherwise. She promised only under the condition that he wouldn't go without her either. They would be partners or they would be nothing. Reluctantly, he agreed.

But, she didn't tell him about Rodolphus. Not even when they were alone. She knew it was wrong to keep secrets from her husband, especially whey they were both trying so hard to improve their marriage. Some secrets, she decided, were unavoidable in their current situation. All telling Antonin about Rodolphus would do was make him angry and scared and have him upset with her for being reckless. She already knew what she did was foolish. There was no reason to belabor a point that had already been made.

Even getting Oliver completely packed didn't keep Hermione's mind off of all of the horrible outcomes her trip to Hogsmeade could've had. Rodolphus' words echoed in her mind on a frustrating loop. He wasn't done with her by any means. When he was ready to include her in whatever his diabolical plans were, he would come find her whether she wanted to participate or not. All she could hope was that Babajide Akingbade had indeed been successful in removing all of Rodolphus' spellwork from her mind. Just the thought of the horrible wizard being able to control her in any way frightened her beyond measure. She might have made some wrong choices in her life, but they had been her decision. Imagining no longer having her own will was terrifying. What could Rodolphus make her do? Would he have her finish the job she started on Antonin in their kitchen? Or, worse, would he make her do something so he no longer had to "abide that brat" he hated? None of the possibilities were good.

Her dreams were impacted by her fears. A dizzying maelstrom of violence and confusion, she woke up early the morning after her trip to Hogwarts with a racing heart. Trying to catch her breath, she almost didn't notice Antonin's arms tighten around her from behind. He kissed her curls, offering her comfort without her even needing to ask. It was hardly the first time she'd woken up from a nightmare with him lying next to her in bed. They both had been afflicted over the years.

"It was just a dream, my darling. You're here in my arms."

His whispered assurances helped. Feeling her heart-rate return to normal, she allowed herself to relax. Afraid that she'd woken up their son in the bed only a short distance away, she checked to make sure that he wasn't disturbed. Antonin kissed her again with promises that they were all safe and staying that way. Hermione appreciated his comforting lies at times, especially when she needed to hear them. Seeing her check on their son once more, Antonin put her fears to rest.

"I already put a silencing spell around our bed when I first thought you might be having a nightmare."

"Thank you."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. Already the images in her mind were losing their power. Talking about them would only make them real again. In that moment, however, she knew she couldn't keep the secret about Rodolphus any longer. She had too much respect for Antonin to not tell him and Rodolphus wasn't only threatening her. He had a right to know what dangers his family might face.

"I didn't tell you everything that happened yesterday. Rodolphus confronted me in our home."

His initial silence wasn't a good sign that Antonin was all right with her announcement. Neither was him releasing his hold on her to lay on his back. The loss of his touch was profound. She missed it instantly. What was going to come next wasn't good, but she didn't regret being honest. Something in her had indeed changed in recent months. Lies and deception didn't come as easily as they once did. Maybe they never would again. Hermione wasn't sure if she minded that or not.

"Well, you're not dead or kidnapped, so I suppose I should be happy about that."

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you."

"It's too late for that. I'm already worried. Every single bloody second of every single bloody day I worry about you and I worry about Ollie. Every single second. Even when I hold you in my arms, I'm worried about you. Even when the three of us are sleeping in this tiny, hidden, Untraceable room together, I'm still worried."

Hermione knew he would work himself up into quite a state if he continued. Leaning across the too-small bed, she covered his lips with hers to still his rambling. It was a trick he used to great success when she was afflicted with the same anxious condition. Almost immediately he calmed down. Antonin took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Rodolphus yesterday. He didn't hurt me or even try to touch me. It was wrong not to tell you, but because he didn't do anything, I didn't see the need."

She wasn't ready to tell him about the horrible plan for Hermione to kill him at Oliver's birthday party. It was best not to bring up that sore topic. Over and done with, there seemed no point to discuss it except to continue to torture themselves. Maybe a day would come when she would tell him the full truth, but not yet. Not when the wounds were still too fresh and too raw.

"Why did he confront you if he didn't do anything? Was he alone?"

"Yes, he was alone. I think… I think he just wanted to prove to me that he could find me when he wished."

There was no sense in trying to decipher the meaning in any of the wizard's actions. It was impossible. She didn't know how she could convincingly explain that she didn't feel like he wanted to harm her yet. And maybe he never really did? She kept going back to that one sentence he said where he claimed that he never wanted to hurt her. The man truly was too confusing.

"Come here."

Antonin held his arm open, inviting her to lay her head on his chest. It had become a comfortable position for the both of them when they were having deep conversations in bed. She found an enormous amount of comfort in the small gesture. As she laid her cheek on his chest and felt his arm wrap around her back, Hermione calmed. At least it seemed for the moment he wasn't angry with her for keeping the secret. She didn't realize how much she needed that confirmation until he was holding her again. Physical touch had always been something that she enjoyed, but the added intimacy of their interactions the previous few weeks meant more to her than she realized. If they had been able to reach the same place they were in earlier in their marriage, she had no doubt that they would've been happier. Whether it was still too late for them wasn't clear yet. Likely they wouldn't even be able to consider the possibilities of a future together until their present was more certain.

"Are you angry with me for opening the kitchen door to Rodolphus the night we had to run here?"

Hermione did not know where that question came from. It just seemed to bubble out of her mouth without thought. Clearly, it was an issue that bothered her even an entire month later. While she didn't know what would've happened if she'd refused to open the door at Rodolphus' demand to talk to him, she didn't think it would be good. While she knew that it didn't do any of them any good to dwell on what could not be changed, she couldn't help it. Sensing the turmoil within his wife, Antonin pulled her tighter against him.

"Of course I'm not angry about that. Why would you even ask that, Hermione?"

"Because maybe we would've been safe inside the house. Maybe he wouldn't have been able to get in and maybe we could've spent the last month at home instead of here."

"And maybe Rodolphus would've made good on his promise to tear down the wards and come inside our house forcefully. There's a lot about the man that I despise, but he has always been prickly about his honor as a Lestrange. If he made you a promise on his 'word as a Lestrange' that he wouldn't harm Ollie if you opened the door to him, you did the right thing. He wouldn't have hurt Ollie. At least not at that time, but there would have been plenty of opportunity for me to get there in time to stop it."

His words helped settle the nerves in the pit of her stomach. For a month she'd been holding on to that fear. While he hadn't come right out and told her that he was angry that she lifted the wards long enough for her to step outside before putting them back up to speak to the horrible man, she feared that he was. She knew that he would put Oliver's safety at the very top of his priorities, as he should. It wasn't that long ago that she would've been happy if he threw her out of his life and told her to never come back, but so much had changed. Hermione wasn't the same person she was the day she knocked on her front door after being on the run for a year. She still wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing. Only time would tell.

"I always suspected that our enemies would strike our home when I wasn't there. My paranoia actually served its purpose in this case. Every inch of our property was coated in spells that would tell me when someone crossed onto the barrier. While I couldn't tell who was there, I got concerned when more than two passed through the invisible wards. That told me that it wasn't just Alain and Mr. Akingbade. I'm so grateful they were there in time to keep you both from harm."

"So am I."

"I rushed back home as quickly as I could. Startled the ones I was meeting with, I can tell you. They didn't know what happened to me. Had to go back to apologize the next day, but they're good people. They understood."

Part of her wanted to interrupt his story to ask just who the mysterious people he was meeting with were, but she knew better. Antonin would tell her when he was ready for her to know and not a moment too soon.

"I was able to cover Alain long enough that he could Disapparate away with Ollie."

"Then you had to go in for the damn cat."

Both of them chuckled at the reminder of his rash act. Evidently one didn't live with a Gryffindor for twenty years without at least some of their tendencies rubbing off on them. Antonin had his own foolish Gryffindoric moments just like the other two members of the small Dolohov family. Didn't even matter that he was a hatstall between Slytherin and Ravenclaw when he was eleven.

"Yes, I had to go back in for the damn cat. Couldn't bear to upset our son any further than he already was."

"You're a good man, Antonin."

He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm not sure I'd go that far, but thank you, love."

"Well, comparatively speaking, I mean. Maybe not for a Muggle or a regular wizard, but for a Death Eater, you're a saint."

Their mutual laughter dispelled the last of the tension from their discussion. Hermione drifted back to sleep without any further nightmares.