September 17th

She always knew deep down that she wouldn't be able to keep her secrets safe forever. That was the tricky, hateful nature of secrets. They very rarely stayed a secret long. Although Hermione knew that she had been careful over the years to make certain that her husband had no idea that the repeated miscarriages she had were on purpose, evidently she hadn't been careful enough. Too many people alive knew the truth. It was bound to come out to bite her in the arse one day.

Antonin wanted more children more than he wished to breathe at times. That had never been a secret. How many times had he mentioned over the years that he thought their family wasn't finished? That he hoped they could one day add a daughter to it? He would never have said 'no' to another son, of course, but he longed for a daughter. One that looked just like her mother. Even if he'd resigned himself to the harsh reality that that was never likely to happen, Hermione knew that he still felt the same way.

Hoping that Antonin would simply disregard anything that Rabastan said as being cruelty wrapped up in lies, she refused to respond to the question. What sort of game was the horrible man playing? She didn't believe it was just a coincidence that they were all there together nor did she believe it was just an accidental slip of his tongue.

"What is he talking about, Hermione?"

Where could she even begin? There was a reason she'd never been honest with her husband about why all of her pregnancies, with the exception of Oliver and the girl she was carrying when Rodolphus tripped her down the stairs, mysteriously failed. He'd been so patient, so concerned after each miscarriage. Even in his own disappointment and grief he'd always managed to put her first. How could she tell him that she was the reason his hopes and dreams for a larger family never came true?

"Who can ever really be sure what he means?"

It was a coward's move to not admit to her failings when she was confronted. Out of fear that Antonin would never forgive her and a legitimate concern that he might physically hurt her, or worse, Hermione didn't want to tell him the truth. He wouldn't understand why she never told him. When he repeated his question for a second time and then a third with anger in his tone, she knew she couldn't keep refusing to answer. When her husband wanted to know something, he was tenacious.

"Oh! That's just priceless. You mean, you didn't know, Antonin? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

Hermione had to rein in every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep from launching her entire body across the room at the wizard's throat. There was a strict "No Violence" policy that Temeritus was quick to remind them of when it became evident that violence could easily become an issue. Likely that was Rabastan's angle from the very beginning. How he would even know about her past pregnancies was beyond her. It wasn't as if she ever mentioned it to him or even to his brother.

"And here I was under the impression that you two were trying to make a successful go at it this time. Proper communication is the key to any healthy marriage."

"Shut up, Rabastan!"

"Hermione, what is he talking about?"

She was afraid to look Antonin in the eye, afraid of what she would see looking back at her. Anger she could handle easily, but if it was something else she saw… She was tired of bringing pain and heartache to everyone she knew. Maybe they would've all been better off if she never returned to Hogsmeade. Being murdered by William Wood seemed like a better fate to endure. It wasn't as if she brought any actual value to anyone else's life.

"Alecto suspects that Hermione's terrible secret is why Andromeda Tonks was murdered. Is that true, Hermione?"

The mention of Antonin's long-term mistress increased the intensity of the churning inside Hermione stomach. Would any of her darkest secrets remain when the night was through? It hardly seemed likely.

"Antonin, mate, I'm very sorry to have to be the one to tell you. I thought for certain that Hermione would've told you herself about the nasty potions an old hag in Knockturn Alley gave her to rid herself of your children."

Antonin's grip on her hand tightened to a painful degree before he dropped it. At the corner of her eyes, Hermione could feel hot tears waiting to slide down her cheeks. He would never forgive her for what she did and certainly not after he had to hear the truth from Rabastan, of all people.

"Of course we can only speculate why Hermione killed poor Andromeda, but I do know that Alecto accidentally let it slip in front of the woman that our Hermione here was in the habit of buying the deadly potions on the very day she was murdered just outside the very shop."

Since learning about the memory she blocked with her own potions, Hermione often wondered how it was that Andromeda just happened to be in the hag's shop that day. It never made much sense to her. It wasn't exactly a popular retail location and she never would've imagined that Andromeda had any business of her own with the hag. Knowing that Alecto was somehow mixed up in it cleared up her confusion. It was Alecto, after all, who told Hermione about the shop to begin with and she was the one she vented her frustrations to when she found out she was pregnant again. No doubt the wretched bitch waited in the shop for proof to tell Antonin. Though she claimed she would never get over her late husband, Hermione was no fool. Andromeda's feelings for Antonin grew over time. She would've done anything to get Hermione shoved out of the picture.

"Is this true, Hermione?"

"Antonin…"

"Tell me!"

If it was possible to slay a person with only a single look, Hermione would've been dead on her feet. Once she dared to look up into her husband's eyes, she found herself actually afraid of the man. She'd never seen such a ferocity of rage directed at her by her husband. If he strangled her with his bare hands, she wouldn't be surprised.

When she didn't immediately answer, the wizard grabbed her arm in a tight grip and dragged her out into the corridor. What was going to happen next didn't need witnesses. At the very least, she thought she might actually be able to speak if she knew the Lestranges and Temeritus weren't listening in. It was bad enough that some of their dirty laundry was already aired in front of those who had no business knowing it. Did they also have to watch what was likely to be the worst fight of their entire marriage?

"I demand to know if what the bastard in there just said is true."

"Antonin, this is hardly the time or the place for this discussion. They're probably all listening at the keyhole."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have waited until now to tell me the truth."

There would be no convincing her husband to drop the subject. Not until he managed to wring out every last droplet of information he could. Even if it was painful, he wouldn't stop until he knew it all. His tenacity once was a trait of his that she admired, even tried to emulate. Turned against her, however, she wanted nothing to do with it.

"Tell me, Hermione."

The press of the tip of his wand under her chin forced a gasp out of her mouth. Outside of training, she couldn't remember him ever threatening her with it once she was out of her broom cupboard and in his protection. Not even when she was being physically violent against him did he ever threaten her. She knew that there could be no way out where she didn't tell him the truth. If she was honest with herself, and she so rarely was, she would've replied that she was tired of all of the secrets, tired of hiding the truth at every turn. It was time she was honest. Maybe she would die for what she did and kept from him, but death seemed preferable to more lies. As she took a deep breath in preparation for making her confession, she felt a peace inside of her that she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Yes, I killed Andromeda because she caught me buying a potion to get rid of a baby I was carrying. She threatened to tell you what she heard."

Antonin's hand fell to his side taking his wand with it. Unable to look at his wife for another moment, he turned away to stare at an empty frame on the wall. Too late Hermione realized she didn't check for nosy paintings. The details of their fight would be spread throughout the painted inhabitants of the castle in no time. She didn't have the energy within her to care any longer. The only opinion that mattered to her belonged to the man who could no longer look her in the eye.

His silence was worse than his fury. She would've given anything to know what he was thinking, what she should expect from him next. So many years of her life were spent in fear of this exact moment. She'd even killed to keep it from coming. Not that she ever needed much of a reason to end Andromeda. Approached on the wrong day, she would've done worse to her with less reason.

"I always suspected you killed Andromeda. I knew it was wrong, but part of me was happy to think that meant you cared more for me than I realized. But, no, it was just to cover up another one of your lies."

"Antonin…"

"How many?"

The chill in his voice was unlike any she'd heard before. Each time she opened her mouth to say something, she failed. His patience was growing thin. There was a reason why she feared this moment. She should've told him a long time ago instead of just letting him believe they were all accidents. What sort of marriage could they ever hope to have if she was willing to lie to him about such a sensitive subject?

"How many, Hermione?"

"Five."

"Fuck."

Antonin ran his hands through his hair and turned away from his wife again. Even as she feared his reaction, she felt lighter, less burdened. That was, of course, until he finally did meet her eyes and she saw the tears rolling out of his. She wasn't sure if she'd ever felt like a worse person.

"Why?"

"I didn't want to have a family, Antonin. You knew that before we even got married. I know you hoped that I would eventually change my mind, but I didn't. I never wanted to be a mother."

"Leave."

The single word was spoken with such cold conviction that Hermione couldn't believe it at first. He wiped all evidence of emotion off of his face and spun around to return to the infirmary. Not wishing to leave their discussion on that note, she reached out to grab his arm and stop him. He ripped it out of her grasp, glaring at her, daring her to try it again.

"Leave the castle, Hermione. You're no longer needed nor wanted here."

"But Ollie…"

"Is no longer your concern. You never wanted a family, Hermione? Fine. You no longer have one. I release you from your unwanted burdens."

A barrier charm prevented her from being able to follow her husband through the infirmary door. While Hermione knew that she could easily tear it down if she tried, she knew better than to approach Antonin when he was in that state. She would only make matters worse. All she could do was go back to their cottage and wait for him to cool down.