September 18th

It wasn't a surprise to Hermione that Antonin didn't come after he banished her from the castle. Their fight outside of the hospital ward was without a doubt the worst one they'd ever had. Maybe it wasn't as violent as some of the others had been in the past, but that didn't matter. Never did she expect to hurt the man she married as much as she did with the truth. So, she waited back in Aubin's cottage for the moment when she knew he would eventually return. He simply needed time to clear his head, to calm down. After thirteen years of marriage and over twenty years of a friendship, this was hardly the first time he needed a break from her presence.

Sometimes before an ill person could get better, they had to get much worse first. Fever helped to kill the virus. Their marriage had been sick for its entire history. Unhealthy people couldn't help but create unhealthy relationships. Maybe that's all they would ever be. Or it was going to be better after they made it through this one hurdle. It was always a possibility that even if he eventually forgave her for lying about the pregnancies she'd willfully terminated that they still wouldn't work. Was one-sided love enough to really make any marriage work?

Except, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that it wasn't one-sided. Not entirely. Antonin loved her far more than she loved him. That was a fact that could never be disputed. But, she respected him and evidently, at some point when she wasn't paying close attention, that began to bloom into something more than she ever expected. She felt safer, calmer when he was the same room. Knowing that she had a staunch ally on her side warmed her heart. For once, it wasn't even a selfish feeling. She was willing and ready to offer him her own protection if required. Maybe it wasn't what the great love songs were written about or would never fill the pages of a classic romance novel, but maybe, just maybe, it was something real.

Hermione stayed up all night waiting for the sound of the front door to open. It never did. Antonin often said things in the heat of a row that he didn't mean. So did she. No matter how much she considered his anger, she just couldn't believe that he was throwing away what they had, that he was kicking her out of her own family. It was cruel even for him. No, he would calm down, reconsider his words, and then come back. She knew it.

When an entire day had come and gone and she still hadn't heard from her husband, she started to feel a little less confident that he would return. Of course, she had to remind herself that he'd been missing for days at a time before after other fights. Like the argument they had at Augustus' house when he found the list she made for her plans to run. He'd been gone for two solid days. The fight at the castle had been much worse. One day was nothing in comparison. He just needed to hole up somewhere with a bottle of fire whiskey to get angry and think about his true feelings. Eventually, he would come wandering back. He always did.

Afraid that she would miss him if she strayed from the cottage, she sat on the sofa in the main room waiting for the door to open. Time passed very slowly, but she hardly noticed. She had her thoughts to occupy her. Each second that passed, the more worried she became and the less confident she was that he would return. Maybe this was the last straw for him. Even if he truly loved her, he was only human. Everyone had a breaking point, a deal-breaker. It was a possibility that she had to come to grips with that she'd finally found his.

When forty-eight hours passed since they received the knock at their door from Hannah with the news that their son had been attacked, Hermione couldn't sit still any longer. Despite the late hour, she knew that if she stayed in the cottage for another second, she would go completely round the bend. Thanks to the magically extended bags that he insisted that she make for every member of their small family, he had no reason to ever return to the cottage. Everything he needed to keep going was tucked away in his pocket.

Needing to feel like she was doing something, Hermione took her first shower since just before they left for Hogwarts. Once she was clean and dressed in clothes that she hadn't slept in, she stepped outside into the cool night air. Focusing on her intended destination, she was soon standing in front of a house she'd been to countless times in the past. Ignoring the nagging reminder in the back of her head that it was entirely too late for a social visit, she knocked on the front door. Almost an entire minute passed before it was finally opened.

"Princess, what are you doing here? Is everything all right?"

Thorfinn looked as if he'd just been woken up from a sound sleep. Considering midnight was fast approaching, he likely was. Stepping aside to allow her entrance into his home, the blond was clearly worried. Sometimes the man could wear his heart on his sleeve. He could be volatile and dangerous, but she knew what a warm, caring person he actually was. Hermione was hardly inside the door when Hannah stepped out of the corridor that led to the family's bedrooms tying the belt of her dressing gown.

"Is Antonin here?"

She didn't even wait to make the customary greetings and pleasantries. The tension in her stomach was tightening, threatening to make her sick. If she didn't find him soon and discover just exactly what he meant, she was afraid for her sanity. How could he be so cruel to just kick her out of his life and their family like that? Did she not have any say?

"No, he's not here, Princess. What's going on?"

The Rowles' house was only her first stop. If she wanted to find Antonin, she had several other locations she could look next. When she started to walk back to the front door, Thorfinn moved his body in her path. Unable to budge him out of the way with her physical strength, she wasn't above using magic if he didn't let her leave.

"Hermione, what's wrong?"

It was easy to hear the concern and anxiety in Hannah's voice. Looking up into Thorfinn's striking blue eyes, she could tell that he was worried about her too. Even when she was the worst person alive and treated everyone in her life like rubbish, they had always been there. She couldn't really even remember much about her life without the two of them lingering back in the background somewhere. Why did she never appreciate that fact? When everyone else in the world seemed to have abandoned her, they hadn't. She could trust them. She knew that just as she knew that the sun would rise again in the morning.

"Antonin left me. I haven't seen him for two days."

Hannah gently led her by the arm to sit on the large sofa dominating most of the room. Once she was seated in the middle with both of them on either side, she felt some of the stress and fear lessen ever so slightly. At least in that moment she wasn't alone.

"I don't know where he's gone. Thought maybe he would come here or you might know where he is."

"No, I'm sorry, Princess. I haven't seen him in days. Hannah hasn't seen him since she went to your cottage."

"Are you sure that he's left you? Maybe he's just meeting with people he might think can help him."

"Yeah, Hannah's right. He's been known to disappear for days before. What makes this any different?"

She appreciated their attempt to comfort her, but they weren't working. They didn't know the full truth, the reason why Antonin told her that she was no longer welcome in their family. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that she would have to tell them everything. With a surprisingly steady voice, she recounted the events of the night they went to Hogwarts to check on Oliver. Every single detail. Staring straight ahead at the oversized armchair that Thorfinn usually claimed as his seat, she could see them shift uncomfortably in their seats as the story progressed. She could only imagine the silent conversation the happily married couple had over her head.

"And then he told me that I didn't need to worry about Ollie anymore. Told me that I didn't have a family anymore and to leave the castle."

"Wow, Hermione, that's…"

"Yeah, Princess, I don't know…"

Both of them tried and failed to hide their horror at the story. Whether they were angry at her for what she did, for the lies she told, for how Antonin pushed her out of his life, or for something else entirely, she didn't know. Neither of them seemed to know what to say in response. It was awkward. Part of her wished she hadn't come, but she couldn't deny that she felt better sharing what happened with two people that loved and cared about her.

"I still say that you should just try to remain calm, Princess. Antonin's been known to run off. Maybe in a few days he'll come back and take back everything that he said."

"Would you if Hannah told you the same story?"

Thorfinn clenched his jaw. She already knew the answer. No, he wouldn't forgive her. But, of course, Hufflepuff Hannah would never do something so callous and calculating as she did. Babies were a blessing in her eyes. They'd been disappointed that there hadn't been another one after Alice was born ten years earlier. If given the opportunity, they'd have twelve children and be excited about every single one of them. Part of Hermione wished that she could've felt the same way. Marriage to Antonin would've been easier. If he'd gotten what he wanted, maybe they'd have been happier.

She refused to back down in her belief that what she did was right. Maybe not the lying about it to Antonin part, but everything else. She didn't want to be a mother. It hadn't been difficult at all for her to abandon Oliver after she almost killed his father. Sometimes she would think about him when she was on the run. Mostly it was to be glad and thankful that he wasn't there with her. She was poison. An innocent child like him shouldn't have to be exposed to a horrible mother like her. It was only as she'd gotten to really start to know her son without being under the influence of the potions that dulled her senses for so many years that she started to realize she liked him a lot. And when the memory charms were removed? She could finally see her son with clarity, see how much she'd missed out on by not being present for his childhood up until that point. But that didn't mean she was suddenly ready to have more children or that she regretted what she did to end her other pregnancies.

"Antonin has never been this angry with me before. I don't think he's ever going to forgive me."

Even though she'd spent two full days by herself, Hermione didn't want to be around them a moment longer. Rising to her feet, she wiped at the damp cheeks she was embarrassed to have and started for the door. Hannah reached for her hand to keep her from moving very far.

"Why don't you stay with us tonight? Daisy's room is empty with her up at the castle."

"No, thank you, Hannah. I appreciate… no, I need to leave."

Nothing else they said could keep her there.