September 25th

As much as she desired to end her misery by swallowing several vials of the illegal potion she swore she would never touch again, Hermione just couldn't do it. Even as she stood on the pavement outside of a Knockturn Alley shop she knew for certain would have exactly what she needed, without the added rage and lust potions of course, she simply could not allow herself to pull open the door to go inside. Did her promise mean nothing? If she allowed herself to give in to her temptation, she would become just another failure. She never wanted her son to look at her again with shame and fear in his eyes. Maybe Oliver would never know if she broke her promise, but she would.

In the end, after staring at the shop for more minutes than she wanted to admit, she turned away. Just because Antonin wasn't keeping his promises didn't mean she couldn't keep hers. Alcohol might have been a poor substitute for the oblivion she truly wanted, but it would have to do. She found herself a small table in the back of the White Wyvern to get pissed.

She knew from the moment she entered Knockturn Alley that she was being reckless with her own safety. Out in public alone she was exposed, vulnerable to anyone who wished her harm. No longer did she even possess her reputation as a vicious enemy to have for protection. Thanks to the Daily Prophet, she was nothing more than a pathetic lunatic in the eyes of the public. Maybe that was enough to encourage everyone to leave her alone. Dangerous to be out alone or not, she didn't care.

By her fourth glass of the damned fire whiskey she only tolerated, she really didn't care. Well after midnight by that point, most of the patrons were beginning to make their way home. She almost envied them for the rows that some of them were going to have when they got there. She didn't even have a home to go back to. Not anymore. Thanks to Rodolphus she once again had nothing. Just the temporary use of a cottage belonging to a man she loathed. And she wasn't even sure she was safe there any longer.

Her glass was empty. While she knew the smarter choice to make would be to pay her tab and go back to the miserable hovel alone, she wasn't numb enough yet. Alcohol wasn't as effective as her potions. She needed to drink a great deal of it to get even a little bit close to the same effect. Before she could make up her mind what to do next, a full bottle of fire whiskey was placed on the table in front of her by an unseen figure behind her chair.

"You're drinking a lot for a Monday night."

There was amusement in Rodolphus' voice. Hermione felt the room begin to spin, but she refused to show any fear. It was what he craved. She'd been such a fool to enter the tavern to begin with. To linger for as long as she did? It was almost as if she was just begging to be caught. Determined to not let the evil wizard get to her, she opened her mouth to speak in a surprisingly steady voice.

"It's after midnight. Officially Tuesday now."

There was once a time when she actually enjoyed the sound of his laughter. Had she ever been so deluded? Sadly, she knew she had. Without waiting for an invitation that she would never give him, Rodolphus settled himself in the chair across the table from hers. When he offered wordlessly to fill up her empty glass, she placed her hand over it.

"And risk being poisoned? How daft do you think me?"

He wasn't offended by her suspicion. Far from it. Twisting the top off the sealed bottle, he chuckled as he filled an empty glass he'd brought with him. When he knocked back the contents of the glass in one swallow, she was less afraid that he'd done anything to the liquor inside. As she'd already taken a huge risk simply by going to London in the first place, she didn't think accepting a drink from the monster would be wrong. Besides, it would either kill her or help her in her quest to be numb. Neither option was all that unattractive.

"Did one of your spies tell you that I was here?"

Rodolphus didn't immediately answer. Instead, he took his time refilling both of their glasses.

"You, my dear, have always attracted attention wherever you go."

"That wasn't an answer."

"It's as close to one as I'm giving."

He smiled at her over the top of his glass before taking another sip. There was no reason for him to confirm her suspicions. Of course someone on his side was keeping him informed of her whereabouts. She'd been in the tavern alone for over an hour, closer to two. It should have annoyed her that he was keeping such a close watch on her. Maybe if she wasn't well on her way to being intoxicated it would have.

"What are you doing here, Rodolphus?"

"Can't a man just stop into a friendly neighborhood tavern for a drink with an old friend without there needing to be a reason?"

"You're exhausting."

She didn't know what he wanted from her, but it had to have been something important. Why else would anyone go to the lengths he had to manipulate her mind? While she would've given just about anything to learn what his endgame was, Antonin was right. It was very possible that they would never know why he did anything that he did and they would just be driving themselves mad in the process.

"I've been worried about you, Hermione. Such nasty things have been said about you in the newspaper."

Rolling her eyes, she took a deep gulp from her glass. If he thought for a single moment that she was ever going to buy into the idea that he wasn't responsible for what was happening at the newspaper office, he would be sorely disappointed. Undisturbed by her rude behavior, Rodolphus drank from his own glass. A drop of fire whiskey clung to his bottom lip. He used his tongue to lick it away, drawing attention to his mouth whether he realized it or not. The movement made Hermione laugh. At least one of the secrets that had been bothering her for the past several months suddenly made sense.

"I know how you would make me confused, why I would get scared and think that I was in the past."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"A potion on your lips. Every time I had an episode, you'd kissed me. Edinburgh, the dinner party at my house, my son's birthday party. And you got Alecto to do it on the day of the Dark Lord's funeral. She kissed my cheek."

Rodolphus stared at her with concern and worry on his brow. None of the confidence and amusement from earlier in his visit. If she didn't know what he was capable of, she would have believed that he truly didn't understand what she meant.

"Hermione, are you saying that you believe I was drugging you every single time I kissed you?"

He almost looked hurt. She didn't know what was happening. Wasn't he supposed to be proud of his handiwork? A potion on the lips was the only theory that made any sense. She didn't drink anything he could've slipped a potion in when they were together in Edinburgh. Neither did Alecto at the funeral. They must have taken the antidote to whatever potion they wanted to use on her and then transferred it to her skin using their lips.

"Not every time, but yes. That must be it."

"I'm afraid that you're very confused, my dear. I would never want to hurt you in any way. The only thing I've desired when I've kissed you was to give and receive pleasure."

She couldn't believe that he was outright denying that he tried to induce her confusion. And to try to claim that she was confused? No, if she was ever confused about anything it was because of him. He wasn't going to convince her so easily that she was insane. She knew what she remembered was true. She was not crazy.

"You've never wanted to make me confused? Make me lash out and hurt Antonin?"

"I've certainly wanted you to hurt him, but I've never given you a potion or any other kind of drug that would make you. Where the devil did you get that idea?"

There was a term for what he was doing to her… something she heard her mother say more than a few times years earlier. When someone tried to convince someone else that their memories were wrong to make them think they were going crazy. Why couldn't she remember the word? It was frustrating. But regardless of what the term was, she wouldn't let him succeed. She knew she was right.

"So you're claiming that you've never put a potion on your lips before you've kissed me?"

"Absolutely not. Why would I want there to be anything between your lips and mine?"

He reached across the small table to cup her cheek in his palm. The touch felt electric. Every hair on her body seemed to stand up and her skin covered in goosebumps. How was it possible that he could have such a physical effect on her even when she knew that he was dangerous and wanted to hurt her?

"I'm worried about you, Hermione. What's wrong with you? What sort of lies and poison have you been listening to about me to make you think I would ever want to hurt you?"

"I…"

She didn't know what to say. Her head felt all fuzzy and she wasn't sure how much of it was because of the alcohol and how much of it was just because of his presence.

"I've only ever had your best interests at heart. When you're ready to believe me, you know where to find me."

After a gentle pat to her cheek, he stood up from the table. He crossed the tavern in just a few strides of his long legs to disappear out the front door. Some of the enchantment or haze or whatever one wanted to call it that clung to his presence faded away the longer he was gone. Deciding that she had had enough of being out, Hermione desired nothing more than to go back to the damned cottage. Once her tab was paid, she followed Rodolphus' path out the front door.

She looked around the empty Alley for any other presence before she stepped out of the relative safety of the tavern's doorway. Satisfied that she wasn't likely to be accosted by a drunk or worse, she headed for the exit to the Alley. But she failed. Just steps past the tavern she felt the tug of a hand on her arm pulling her into a dark corner. Before she could even scream out, hungry lips pressed against hers. Terrified out of her mind at first, she knew within a couple of seconds that Rodolphus had been waiting for her in the shadows.

It was wrong to kiss him. She knew that all the way down to her toes that were curling. There was a lot about the wizard that was awful and dreadful and disgusting, but he knew how to kiss her in such a way that she couldn't think beyond what was happening between their mouths. Pressing her back against a brick wall, Rodolphus pinned her with his body. Part of her wondered if he was about to reenact what they did in her back garden the day of her son's eleventh birthday party and was horrified to discover that most of her wanted exactly that. But, he did nothing more than kiss her until she couldn't breathe. They had to break apart for air whether they wished to or not.

"Come find me when you're ready to believe the truth. I've never wanted to harm a single hair on your head. That will never change."

He stepped back to release her from the wall. Scared that she would do something even more foolish and reckless if she remained, Hermione took off running down the Alley, hurrying to put as much distance between them as she could. The first moment she was able to Disapparate away from the area, she returned to her cottage. Nothing in the woods around the cottage could possibly be as dangerous as the wizard she left behind in London. She'd take her chances.