October 17th

Out of respect for Draco, Hermione waited until he was asleep to use the tracking spell on her own the first time. He was a perceptive enough wizard to know what she was going to do first, but there was no reason to flaunt her decision in his face. It was always going to be a sensitive subject between them. While it wasn't at one point, a lot changed in the months since she'd last been a guest in his home. He knew it and she knew it.

It hadn't been difficult to get Antonin's pajamas back from Draco. He had made no effort since the day they tracked him to Ginny's to return the article of clothing nor had he made an effort to hide it. With the pajamas back in her possession, Hermione snuck out of the flat.

She needed to check in with her husband and see with her own eyes that he was all right. After seeing him at Kingsley's flat, she could tell there was still a potential future there. He might be able to forgive her for lying to him. Maybe not any time soon, but one day. The fact that she was hopeful that she could possibly save her marriage should've surprised her. It didn't. Her entire life changed over the course of just a few months and there was no possible way to go back.

Outside in the darkness, she held Antonin's pajamas, hoping that the spell would still work on them. An entire month had come and gone since the night their son was attacked and Antonin last wore them. Some of the effectiveness might have worn off. In Draco's brief tracking lesson he explained that clothing was the hardest item to track with. Magic only worked on it some of the time. The best item to use was jewelry, preferably with precious stones. Jewelry held the magic the longest. When she asked which possession of hers he used to track her, Draco grew silent and his cheeks flushed the lightest pink. She never did get an answer out of him, but she was tenacious enough to try again. Eventually, she was certain he would tell her what she wanted to know.

Casting the tracking spell on Antonin's pajamas was deceptively simple. Part of Hermione struggled to believe that anything could be that easy. What if it was a trap, another betrayal? She knew she wouldn't feel confident in her ability to track until she laid eyes on Antonin. Focusing on the pajamas that were glowing blue as Draco showed her they should, she Disapparated away from the building, worried that she was going to fail.

She landed in a quiet area that seemed far from any city. Isolation was dangerous in her current situation. Worried that she'd been lured into a potential ambush, Hermione took several deep breaths and surveyed the immediate area looking for any danger. All she found was a collection of small holiday cottages. None of them had any lights on and she didn't have the first clue where to start looking for Antonin. If she picked the wrong cottage, she could put herself in a very awkward position with an irritated Muggle. They had an annoying tendency to call the police when they were frightened or bothered. That was an aggravation she didn't need.

The cottage closest to where her feet landed made the most logical sense to approach first. Like all of the others it was completely dark. Unlike all of the others, the windows were all covered up. When she took a few steps closer to the door, she could feel a familiar prickling against her skin. Antonin would never allow himself to relax inside a home that wasn't properly warded. Feeling more confident that she'd picked the right cottage, she knocked on the door. As she waited for the occupant to answer, she tried to push away the thoughts that she was glad the spell didn't lead her to Ginny's house. The less thought about that woman, the better.

"Hermione? What are you doing here?"

She exhaled in relief when she saw a sleepy Antonin standing in the doorway. Up until that moment she still had a fear that it was all going to be another trap. She knew it was risky to seek him out with Draco's spell, but it wasn't as if she'd been a stranger to committing dangerous acts in recent days. A small smile on his face proved Antonin was pleased to see her even if he was a bit confused.

"Are you alone?"

If he had a guest inside, Hermione didn't want to push her way in. After seeing him in the flesh with Ginny, she never wanted to come face to face with another one of his illicit affairs. The next time it happened she was afraid she wouldn't be able to calm her rage again. She still itched to slice Ginny's throat open and crucio her husband every time she recalled that day.

"Yes, I am. Come inside."

Stepping into the small, but clean space, Hermione was pleased to discover he was telling the truth. A glance at the bed revealed that only one side had been disturbed. She knew she was being hypocritical by being relieved that Antonin wasn't with another woman. After all, she was basically living with another man. Even if they'd done nothing more scandalous than kiss and shower together since her last attack, she was sharing a bed with a man who was not her husband. If Antonin uncovered the truth of her sleeping arrangements, it would get very ugly. To distract herself from those thoughts, she held up his pajamas.

"Thought you might want these back."

He laughed as he took them out of her hands. She never could resist a smile at the sound. It was one, sadly, she hadn't heard much of in a long time.

"Is it silly that I was disappointed I wouldn't see these again?"

She shook her head and smiled. Everyone had their own possessions that brought them comfort. Somehow they became even more important in times of uncertainty. The space Antonin inhabited hardly had enough room to turn around in. He gestured to the bed, the only piece of furniture that would accommodate them both. Sitting next to each other on the edge of the bed, neither one of them seemed to know what to say to break the awkward silence. There was so much they needed to talk about that it was almost overwhelming. Hermione wasn't sure she had the energy to do it all in one visit.

"I wanted to check on you to make sure you were all right."

"How did you find me?"

"I tracked you."

When it became evident that she wasn't going to explain herself any further, Antonin grew annoyed. He tried to hide it, of course, but she'd been his wife long enough to recognize the signs. She made a promise that she wouldn't share the spell with anyone. That included her husband. If he knew how she was able to find him, he wouldn't stop annoying her until she taught him. They were frightfully similar on that score. He was stubborn and prideful enough not to ask questions he knew wouldn't be answered. Taking pity on him, Hermione continued their discussion in another direction.

"Where are we?"

"Cumbria. I confounded the Muggle that owns these cottages. Ministry's too chaotic right now to track any magic against Muggles, especially if I didn't actually hurt him."

"Why here?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's quiet."

"I'm surprised you're not staying at Ginny's house."

The petty words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She didn't really want to have a fight. That wasn't her reason for being there. Antonin wasn't in the mood either based on his heavy sigh. Hermione wished she could take back what she said but it was too late. The damage had already been done.

"Ginny was… Ginny was a mistake. I was angry and not thinking clearly. It never should've happened. I regret it."

She didn't have to wonder if her husband was telling her the truth or not. It was written all over his face. He meant every word. She almost felt sorry for Ginny. Almost. Clearly, Antonin's feelings weren't the same as hers. Hermione was tempted to seek the other woman out just to deliver the news that her husband wasn't in love with her and only used her for angry sex. Wouldn't Ginny just love to hear that? She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from smiling at the bitch's misfortune.

Of course, all of that could change once Antonin knew about his daughter. Suddenly, Hermione felt less secure. Ginny could offer him what she wasn't able or willing to offer. With her Weasley genes, she could probably give him a dozen children if he wanted. Antonin could learn to love Ginny if he desired that kind of life or at the very least he could love his children and be content with that. Hermione wasn't going to change her mind about more children. Even if her body wasn't damaged beyond repair, by magic or Muggles, she wouldn't have another child. It wasn't what she wanted. No child should ever be born unwanted. It wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry I brought her up. Let's not talk about her."

But, she reminded herself once more, the damage had already been done. Neither one of them knew what to say. All Hermione could think about was the little girl who had her husband's dimples. Should she tell him the truth even if she promised Ginny she wouldn't? If it came out that she knew and didn't tell him, it would be bad. Really, really bad. He might never forgive her, especially after the lies she'd already told him. She had no idea what to do.

"I've been looking for Aubin, but he doesn't want to be found."

Grateful to have a topic other than Ginny to discuss, Hermione relaxed ever so slightly. It was disconcerting to hear that her brother-in-law hadn't been dragged out from under whatever rock he was hiding. With William Wood as his partner, in more ways than she wanted to think about, he had more resources. Not only did Wood know the tracking spell and clearly still had one of her possessions, he had connections to a large group of people that hated her very existence. Maybe even Ginny would help them. She seemed to want Hermione out of the picture badly enough.

"Aubin has always been closer to Alex than Alain or me. I'm not sure where he's at or if he'd even be willing to help."

Alexandre Dolohov had a tendency to avoid his family. Not that Hermione could blame him. The Dolohovs were a little intimidating. She didn't think he would be interested in emerging from wherever he was hiding to get in the middle of a family squabble. Especially not one that would likely end in the death of one brother, possibly two.

"Where have you been staying?"

"Somewhere safe."

She wouldn't even know where to begin to explain how or why she was living in Draco Malfoy's flat. It would create a blazing row that made her exhausted just imagining. It was best that they change the subject.

"I had an interesting conversation with Gemma Lestrange the other day. Threatened her children if anything should happen to Ollie. I feel confident that he's safe now."

Perhaps any other husband would be horrified to learn that his wife was threatening other women's children with physical violence, but not Antonin. His loud laughter was contagious.

"I did the same thing to her. No wonder she was so frightened to see me."

"At her house?"

"Oh, no. I confronted her in Diagon Alley. She always has a long lunch with her mother and sister on Tuesdays and then she spends the afternoon shopping or…"

Realizing he'd said too much, he cleared his throat.

"Meeting my husband in some seedy hotel, I'd imagine."

He didn't deny it. He didn't have to. Rolling her eyes, she couldn't believe what a fucked up pair they made. Maybe they were proof that there was someone out there for everyone. Her eyes fell on his left hand resting on his knee. She tapped his wedding ring with her finger.

"You're still wearing it."

His right hand closed over hers; his fingers rubbed her ring finger.

"And so are you."

Hermione was tempted to say that it was simply habit that made her continue to wear it, but that seemed disingenuous. The air in the too-small holiday cottage grew thick and it seemed to occur to the married couple at the same time that they were on a bed together again. Antonin's entire body moved closer to hers though he didn't try to kiss her. He spoke again in a whisper, heavy with emotion.

"When I saw all of the blood in that cottage and couldn't find you, I went a bit mad."

If she stayed in that room another second, she knew that she would never be able to leave again. Was that what she wanted? She still wasn't even sure. Standing quickly to her feet, she stammered out that she should let him get some sleep. He reached for her, but she was too quick. On the way out the door, she picked up the wristwatch she'd given him for his fiftieth birthday that he'd laid next to the bed and slipped it into her pocket.

Returning to Draco's flat was a bad idea, one that she knew she would come to regret. But, she knew she had to go back. At least one more time. As she slipped under the covers of the bed they shared, she stared at the wizard's back. She felt guilty. What she didn't know was if she felt guilty because she was in Draco's bed or if it was because she'd snuck out to see Antonin. Maybe she'd never really know.