November 27th

Hermione's head continued to pound when she opened her eyes again. Still laying on the sofa in the lounge, the room was plunged into complete darkness. It was still the middle of the night. No light was beginning to show over the horizon when she looked up at the large windows covering one entire wall of the room. There was no sign of either of the Lestrange brothers. Likely they'd ended their night and gone to their respective beds leaving her unconscious form where she lay.

Carefully sitting up, she was pleased to discover that all of her clothing was still intact. Neither of the men had ever shown any desire to force themselves upon her, but it was still a relief to know that hadn't changed. Besides, Rabastan wasn't allowed to touch her when Rodolphus was nearby and Rodolphus had to hear her tell him that she belonged to him before he was able to perform. There was a psychiatrist's couch out there somewhere that was just calling out for that man. He had some clear issues. They both did. Everyone cursed enough to be touched in some way by the Dark Lord's power was fucked in some way.

She was also relieved to discover that she could remember what happened before her body had to rest from all of the pain it was experiencing. Too many times in the past when she'd overindulged in her potions she hadn't been able to remember what happened while she was high. Thanks to vomiting up most of what she imbibed, she hadn't forgotten. She remembered the conversations that the brothers had while she was present. She certainly remembered what it felt like to have Rodolphus back inside her mind. Was he gentler with her when he placed the charms in the past? He must have been or there was no way she wouldn't have recalled the excruciating pain.

One statement Rodolphus made would likely never be forgotten. He'd been relieved, even excited, to discover that there was still one left in her mind. What did he mean? Was there a spell still there that Babajide Akingbade had been unable to remove? The memory charms expert swore that he'd gotten them all. Did he simply miss it or was he yet another man in her life that was lying?

She had to find her husband and demand he tell her the truth once and for all. If he knew that Mr. Akingbade wasn't able to remove the last spell, she had every right to know. Without thought or care that Rodolphus would want to know where she was going if he discovered her leaving, Hermione headed straight for the front door. No sounds from up the stairs seemed to indicate that he was even awake. Trying to run to the gates was virtually impossible thanks to the throbbing pain still in her mind, but she tried to move as quickly as she could. Though she didn't know where Antonin was exactly, she knew of someone who could find him.

"You realize it's four in the morning, Princess?"

A bleary-eyed Thorfinn answered his front door clad only in a pair of pajama trousers. His wand was tightly gripped in his hand, but he didn't seem in any rush to use it on her. Confusion and perhaps a minute amount of concern was written across his face. She felt at least somewhat mollified that at least it wasn't the usual outright hatred he displayed. Some of what he did while she was staying at the Three Broomsticks was for show, some of it was real.

"I need to talk to Antonin. It's an emergency. Please."

Sighing and clearly wishing that he was still back in his own bed, Thorfinn gently pulled her inside. Hermione was pleased to see that the house was back to the same tidy order that Hannah employed while she was alive. Their home looked almost like Hannah would be walking in from the next room any moment. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes. She pushed down the sorrow and guilt that always accompanied remembering her friend. If she hadn't inflicted herself upon the Hufflepuff maybe she would still be alive. He didn't waste another moment retrieving his silver compact mirror to call for Antonin.

"Sorry to wake you, mate, but your wife is in my house. Says she needs to see you immediately."

"Is she all right?"

Hermione felt uncomfortable under the blatant examination of her appearance by Thorfinn. She could only imagine how ragged she must have looked. Not only had she come to his house straight after waking up from passing out, she'd had a rough night before she fell asleep. Turning to look at a repaired mirror hanging on the wall, she could see the dark circles under her eyes and the way her skin looked unnaturally pale.

"I really don't know. You should come over."

While they waited for her husband to arrive, Thorfinn suggested making her a cup of tea. She stood in the kitchen watching him fill up the kettle to boil. The door leading out into the back garden opened just as he was pouring the steaming liquid into a cup. Antonin looked just as tired as she felt. What sorts of activities had he been engaged in to be so exhausted? She tried to ignore the obnoxious voice in the back of her mind that immediately went to uncharitable thoughts about Ginny. It wasn't fair to the woman. She'd only seduced her husband to keep their child safe. Could she really fault her for that?

Antonin crossed the length of the kitchen to stand in front of his wife in no time. His hands reached out to gently grasp the outside of her upper arms while his eyes took in every single centimeter of her body for any sign of injury or pain. The tense manner in which their last meeting ended didn't matter in that moment. With every ounce of tenderness he possessed, her husband brushed some of her hair away from her eyes.

"I can tell you're frightened. What happened?"

Thorfinn was kind enough to leave the married couple alone in his kitchen. Muttering something about it being way too damn early to be out of bed, he shuffled down the corridor to his bedroom. Hermione was glad to have the time alone with Antonin. It was going to be hard enough to talk to him about what she learned that night without having an audience.

"I know there's a spell that Mr. Akingbade wasn't able to remove."

His shoulders slumped as he closed his eyes and sighed. If she had any question about whether or not Antonin knew about the spell still being there, it was answered in that moment. He did. Something akin to relief passed over his entire countenance. Perhaps he was finally about to reveal one of the secrets she knew he had been keeping from her. As much as it should have pleased her, she was nervous. What was so awful that he felt like he couldn't tell her the truth?

"Yes, he was able to remove every spell, but one."

"Why?"

"He said that he'd never seen anything like it before. When he tried to remove it, he was afraid that he might do permanent damage to your mind. He wanted to do more research to see if he could figure out what it was."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

She was heartened only slightly to see the look of shame that began to take the place of some of the relief on his face. Antonin knew how awful it was to be lied to. He knew what sort of hell Rodolphus put her through with his charms and memory spells. Why was he so reluctant to be honest?

"It was my decision. If you're angry with anyone, be angry with me."

"That won't be a problem, but tell me, why?"

"I didn't want you to be afraid. We have no idea what that spell is or what it could make you do. I was scared that if you knew it existed, it was all you could think about. It would drive you…"

He stopped himself before he said the word that she knew he wanted to say. The subject of her mental health had always been a sensitive one, especially in recent years as she felt her sanity slipping through her fingers. No single human being was supposed to be able to go through the hellacious existence she had without fear of losing at least some part of their mental faculties. Still, she didn't like to be reminded that she was teetering on the edge of insanity.

"'Crazy'? Is that what you wanted to say?"

"Hermione…"

"No, Antonin, let's be honest. Haven't we been lying to each other for long enough?"

There wasn't a single word that she didn't mean. She was tired down to her very bones of the lies and the secrets. In the effort to try to protect the other, all they were really doing was pushing them further and further away. Secrets were poison.

"Then, yes, all right? Yes, I was afraid to tell you because I didn't want you to drive yourself crazy. It could be nothing!"

"But if it was nothing, then why wouldn't Mr. Akingbade be able to remove it?"

They both knew that there was no reason to continue to speculate about the intricacies of the spells that Rodolphus used to torment her so. It was encouraging to know that the memory charms expert who'd helped remove all of the other spells was still trying to discover what was remaining in her head. Hermione didn't want to argue with Antonin anymore. She was exhausted and wished for nothing more than to crawl into their old bed to sleep for days. Their home and everything in it was just another part of her life that Rodolphus ruined. She would never forgive him for anything he did to her or her family.

"I've been living in Rodolphus' house."

Antonin sighed.

"I know."

"But I've been sleeping in the spare room. We haven't… nothing has happened."

She couldn't tell him about the night that something almost did happen between them. Not only would she have to admit the disgusting, depraved things she used to do with him in the past, it would only make him even more worried than he already was.

"Tonight… or last night, I don't even know, honestly. Rabastan slipped some potions in my wine."

His eyes widened in fear.

"I could tell that I'd been drugged so I made myself throw up, hoping that it would make it less powerful."

All of the details of the night came tumbling out. She spared him nothing. As soon as she started talking, she found it difficult to stop. Soon he knew just about everything that had happened since she moved in to the Dower House: Gemma's murder, the strange things she said to Hermione before she was killed, everything that Rabastan said, and much more. Antonin listened patiently as she unburdened herself. It felt good to feel like she wasn't alone, even if the feeling would be fleeting.

"But none of this makes any sense. He's insane. He can't actually do what Gemma claims he wants to do, can he?"

"I really don't know. And he's not wrong. Gemma does lie. It's pathological, I think. Sometimes she lies... lied for reasons that didn't make any sense. I think she just liked the attention."

When she'd told him everything, she felt even more emotionally drained. Tears were rolling out of her eyes that she kept brushing away. Her husband just stared at her as he attempted to process everything that she'd told him. Just like she was, he was confused. Antonin pulled her body into his arms. For several long minutes he held his wife, comforting her simply with his presence.

"I don't want to, Antonin, but I think I have to go back."

It was dangerous, of course, but she was left with few options. Spies weren't exactly able to live in complete safety and security. That was a fact she was very well aware of before she stepped a single foot inside his house. She couldn't afford to be a coward just because the situation had gotten a little scary. For the sake of having some kind of future that wasn't spent constantly looking over her shoulder, something had to be done. She hadn't learned the truth yet about Rodolphus' plans or what was still inside her mind. Until she knew more, she knew that she couldn't stop searching. Even Antonin understood her reasons. With an assurance to him that she believed she was actually quite safe at the Dower House for the time being because Rodolphus clearly believed she had some value, she knew it was time to go back.

"Please be careful. I'm afraid for you every second."

As if to further prove his point, Antonin followed up his words with a kiss she wouldn't soon forget. It was difficult to part ways. Hermione tried to talk herself out of it at least half a dozen times before she finally made the first step outside. It occurred to her only later when she was climbing into the bed in her borrowed bedroom across the corridor from Rodolphus' that despite believing secrets were poison, she hadn't even considered telling Antonin the ones she was still keeping.