December 5th

The gentle press of lips against Hermione's forehead woke her up out of a sound sleep. With her eyes still closed she felt the heat of the fire and the heavy blanket with which her host covered her shivering body. Rarely had she felt so safe and secure. No matter what happened in her life she knew she could always count on Fenrir to keep her protected, especially in the vulnerable position she found herself in.

Expecting to see Fenrir staring back at her when she finally opened her eyes, Hermione was surprised to see Antonin seated on the edge of the sofa that had become her temporary bed. Was she dreaming? Maybe she was worse off than she thought she was and a hallucination of her husband was proof. When their eyes met, Antonin smiled. Relief was evident on his features. Still not trusting what she was seeing to be real, Hermione pulled her arm out from under her blankets. She lifted her fingers to brush against his cheek. Antonin covered her hand with his, kissed the inside of her palm, and held her hand against his face. He was real.

"You look worried. What's wrong?"

She was ready for the worst. When her husband smiled broadly enough that she could see his dimples even underneath his facial hair, Hermione calmed slightly. Though it didn't seem like a moment to her for such antics, at least nothing was so dire that he couldn't find at least a little humor.

"It's not every day that you're tracked down by a werewolf. Especially not one who was so concerned for you. I'll admit it was a bit unexpected. Of course it worried me."

"Fenrir tracked you down? But he said he wouldn't leave me alone."

As much as she trusted Fenrir, she was bothered that after making her a promise that he wouldn't leave her, he obviously left her alone long enough to find her husband. Considering that he was in hiding, it couldn't have been easy. He was probably gone for hours. What if Rodolphus or Rabastan came looking for her there while she was unconscious? Her friendship with the werewolf wasn't a secret. She would've been vulnerable. Why would he lie to her? Sensing she was working herself up into a state of agitation, Antonin kissed her palm again.

"He didn't leave you alone. Last I counted, there were at least four of his pack members surrounding the cottage. Who knows how many are further away out there that I couldn't see? You were well protected while he hunted for me."

It felt strange to be laying down with Antonin hovering over her again. Wishing to be on his same level, she used all of the limited strength she had, with his help, of course, to sit up. Almost immediately she regretted making the move. The world didn't spin quite as much when she was on her back. Hermione closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before opening them again.

"Did Fenrir tell you what happened to me?"

"Not much. Just that you were sick and unconscious in his cottage. He's never been a man of much words. At least not where I was concerned. He wouldn't have sought me out if it wasn't an emergency. I didn't wait for an explanation. Would you like to tell me?"

She wasn't sure that she had the energy to go through the story again, but knew that she had to. He deserved to know what had been happening to his wife when they were apart. All of their disagreements didn't seem to matter much when she was afraid for her life. Even just having him so close with his hands grasping hers helped her feel less afraid. The world was closing in on her, and she didn't know how to make it stop. A change was coming. If it was for the best or if it was the end, she didn't know.

"Rodolphus forced me to drink another potion. I couldn't throw it up this time. That's why I'm so sick. I didn't want to drink it. I swear, Antonin."

He kissed her lips to cease her rambling. Nothing had ever worked so effectively. When she stopped, he moved his head back to smile. His hand brushed her curls away from her face like he always did when he needed reassurance that she was whole and all right.

"I know, Hermione. I know you didn't want to."

"He tried to put more spells in my mind, but he couldn't. He found a block inside my mind that he couldn't get past."

Antonin's shoulders slumped with his heavy sigh of relief. Some of the fear that had been clear across his features began to dissipate slightly. Though not completely unafraid, he appeared to be settling somewhat. No one in their world had the luxury of living without fear totally. Not yet. Maybe one day that would change. Hermione wasn't sure that she would even be alive to witness it.

"I was nervous when Mr. Akingbade wanted to put that in. I thought you'd already had enough in your mind, but I'm glad he did. He knew that Rodolphus would try to rebuild that network in your mind again if he could. We thought, especially after the attack on our house, that he would try to kidnap you one day. As his prisoner, he would have access to do what he wished to your mind. I'm glad he convinced me it was the right thing to do."

One of the secrets he'd been keeping from her was finally revealed. While she didn't doubt that there were others, she could see the relief of no longer having to hold on to it lift off his shoulders. Would he be a completely different man if he told her everything? Would she be completely different if she stopped keeping the secrets that were ripping her guts to shreds?

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about it, but we agreed that it would be best if you didn't know. I didn't want to worry you that Rodolphus might try to hurt you again."

She was the one to kiss him that time. Just a simple brush against his lips, she cupped his cheek with her palm and forced his eyes to stare into hers.

"I've always known he would try again, Antonin. Thank you for trying to shield me from that fear, but there wasn't any need. Rodolphus isn't going to stop. I've known that all along."

"There's more, Hermione. It's been killing me to not be honest with you."

Was he finally about to reveal everything that he'd been keeping back? And if he did tell her the secrets that he'd been keeping, would she have to do the same in return? It would only be fair. She wasn't sure that she was ready to confess to her inappropriate relationship with Draco, especially not after learning that he'd been working with Antonin since the beginning of the year. Nor did she think she would ever be ready to admit that she knew he had a daughter he seemingly knew nothing about.

"I'm sure it's felt like I haven't been telling you everything for months now."

"You haven't been telling me anything, Antonin."

He sighed, unable to deny the truth when it was spoken.

"Mr. Akingbade didn't know what the spell was that he couldn't remove."

"Has he figured it out?"

"No, I'm sorry, love. Not yet. But it's nothing that he'd seen before. We didn't know what it would do. I was afraid that…"

Unable to continue, Antonin stopped and sighed. After twenty years of knowing her husband better than she knew anyone else, sometimes even including herself, she could sense that he was reluctant to continue. What was he so afraid of telling her that she might not be able to handle? Her mind had already gone over every possibility in the days since she learned that there was still a spell remaining. None of them were good.

"What were you afraid of? You can tell me."

"I was afraid that all it would take was Rodolphus activating the spell in your mind and he would be able to know everything that I told you. It's been killing me to keep the truth from you, to not tell you what I've been up to, but I didn't think I could. If Rodolphus was able to figure out who was actually on our side and not his, it could be dangerous. There are some really good people on our side, Hermione. Many more than you're aware of and I…"

"You can't tell me about it because you're afraid I'll ruin your plans at best or get them all killed at worst."

Yet again he wasn't able to deny her when she spoke the truth. It made a sick sort of sense. She wished that she'd considered the possibility when she was thinking about all of the others. Somehow she hadn't thought that she could inadvertently betray all of the people who were quietly fighting against Rodolphus' rise to power or whatever it was that he was trying to do. She knew she should've. He'd already proven that he could get into her mind when he wanted.

"It's been killing me to not be able to tell you what's happening, but we still just don't know what the bastard's done to you."

"So you weren't trying to push me away because you didn't trust me or didn't want me anymore?"

She hated how weak she felt asking her husband whether he still wanted her or not. It hardly seemed like the sort of thing a strong, independent woman would do, but she didn't care. For weeks she'd been under the impression that her husband had given up on her, had written her off as a lost cause. Their relationship was unhealthy. Both of them were painfully aware of that. Maybe they would both be better off just cutting ties and moving on with their lives. What the future held was still a mystery. For all she knew, she'd be dead before the end of the year anyway, so what would it really matter what he thought of her?

"No, Hermione. Not at all. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to just throw you over my shoulder and run away from this horrible country. If I didn't feel an obligation to clean up some of the mess I helped create all of those years with the Dark Lord, I'd do it. You and Ollie and I would run away without looking back."

"I hate that we haven't been able to trust each other."

"So have I. I'm still hoping that one day soon there will be no more need for secrets between us."

"I look forward to that too."

To keep her mind off of the biggest secret that she still carried, Hermione kissed her husband again. Everything would change between them once he knew about Maisie. She didn't know if there would even be a place for her any longer. Especially not if he found out she'd been aware of his daughter's existence. It was maddening to keep quiet. The truth was on the tip of tongue, just ready to be blurted out. Recognizing that she was still unwell, Antonin didn't let her kiss linger beyond a few moments before he broke it off.

"You should rest more. You're not looking good."

"Thanks, Antonin. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself."

He snorted and rolled his eyes at her attempt to tease. She knew what he meant and was just glad there wasn't a mirror nearby she could accidentally get a look at herself in.

"Are you going to take me away from here?"

"Why would I do that? You're safe and in no condition to move."

"Because it's Fenrir's house. You hate him, remember?"

Likely there would never come a day where the two men would be able to socialize freely with the other. Neither of them had much use for the other. It wasn't going to change any time soon either.

"We have a common enemy and a common desire to keep you safe. Greyback already swore to me that he'll protect you for as long as you need him. Right now, this is the best place for you."

Antonin stood up from the sofa's edge. Leaning down to kiss his wife one final time, he implored her to take advantage of the time to rest and recover. Hermione laid back down to watch the two men interact on the other side of the main room of the cottage. Before he stepped out of the front door, her husband extended his hand to Fenrir. It was no small gesture. Fenrir shook Antonin's hand and led him to the door.

She thought back to what they had just said moments earlier about getting to a place where they could stop keeping secrets. Hopefully, her time in Fenrir's cottage would give her the opportunity to figure out some way to tell her husband everything she'd been keeping secret. Maybe there was even a chance he'd learn how to forgive her one day.