December 9th

Hermione wasn't sure when to expect her husband to return to Ginny Weasley's abandoned house in the woods. Based on how angry he'd been when he stormed away, he wasn't likely to calm down in a short period of time. In order to keep her mind occupied, she took her time tidying up the small house. When she could no longer keep her eyes from drooping closed, she slid under the fresh sheets on Ginny's cleaned bed. There was simply no way she would go anywhere near the piece of furniture without ensuring it had been scrubbed repeatedly.

Sometime after midnight she heard the front door open. Because she was in a practical enemy's home and she had already been visited by someone who didn't have her best interests at heart, she knew that she couldn't get complacent. She quickly rose out of bed with her wand clutched tightly in her hand. If blood needed to be shed, she wouldn't hesitate. Her survival was more important. She hadn't lasted that long for nothing.

She immediately relaxed when she pushed open the door to the main room of the house to see Antonin stumble in. Evidently he'd been spent his time away from her seeking the bottom of a bottle. Not that she could blame him. If she could rely on her vice without it betraying her, she would've done the same. He managed to make it to the sofa without falling to her surprise. Knowing that they were going to need to have an uncomfortable conversation whether she wanted to have it or not, she sat next to him. Immediately he handed her the bottle he still had clutched in his hand. She took a deep drink of the dreadful fire whiskey without hesitation. Maybe their conversation would be a little easier if they were both drunk.

One of the big secrets she'd been keeping from her husband was out. He knew about her inappropriate relationship with Draco. While it would've been much better for the truth to be revealed in a less violent or graphic manner, Hermione wasn't sorry that he knew. She should've figured out some way to tell him a long time earlier. They needed to talk about it, get everything out in the open for once.

"I owe you an apology for this afternoon."

Antonin turned his head to stare at his wife, but said nothing. The furrowing of his brow proved he was confused by her statement. She wanted to laugh even though it was definitely not the time to do so. It was possible that the alcohol was affecting her more than it usually did in her weakened state. Though she was almost at full strength, she knew there would be lingering effects for a little while longer.

"You shouldn't have had to hear about what happened between Draco and me like that."

He ripped the bottle out of her hands, gulped down more of the caustic liquid than was good for him, and let out a deep sigh. His shoulders sank with the weight of his thoughts. She was nervous to hear them no matter how much it needed to be done.

"I've known about you and Malfoy for a long time. Suspected even longer."

Hermione didn't know what to say. She was shocked even though she knew she shouldn't have been. Somehow Antonin always seemed to know everything before she did or when she was trying hard to keep the secret. He'd proven that time and time again over the course of the twenty years they'd known each other. The thirteen years of marriage only honed his skills.

"How did you know? When?"

"July, I knew, but I suspected when you were on the run… after I sent him to track you."

She was amazed that he'd known for so long and managed to keep quiet about it. Not once did he even drop a single hint that he suspected. Realizing he didn't answer her first question, she asked it again.

"How did you know?"

His answer wasn't immediately forthcoming. He needed some fire whiskey and at least a minute to collect his thoughts. With a deep sigh, he answered.

"It was that Sunday you said you were going to buy more clothes because you claimed you were getting fat."

"I remember."

"I don't know why, but you just seemed odd to me that day. I suspected you were going to see Gus."

She couldn't stop the rolling of her eyes at his continued jealousy of her ex-lover. Would that always be the case? Would a day ever exist that he didn't always worry that it was just a matter of time before she left him to seek out Augustus? She hoped so. It was exhausting listening to his fears that had no basis in reality.

"So I put a tracking spell on you. When you left, I sent Ollie to Thorfinn and Hannah's. I thought I'd end up in Cornwall, not London. I arrived just as you and Malfoy were walking out. I followed you to his flat. Waited for you to come out. Two hours I waited. I felt like such a fool."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What right did I have to get angry at you for something I'd done myself?"

"We have got to stop torturing each other. We can't live like this."

She ripped the bottle out of his hands just as he agreed. They'd spent too many years playing an unhealthy game where the only objective seemed to be who could hurt the other the most. It was no way to live. The feel of the fire whiskey moving around in her belly gave her more courage to continue asking questions that she once would've been content to just ignore.

"When did you suspect?"

Another sigh.

"When Ginny told me you were sharing a tent with him in the forest back in February. Didn't take much imagination to imagine how you were spending the cold nights with an attractive wizard your own age."

"Do I even need to ask why you were with Ginny then?"

He was embarrassed and rightfully so. It was how she felt when she considered the beds she'd crawled in and out of over the years. But she wanted to know more. There were so many questions that she continued to have about his relationship with Ginny that the other woman and Rodolphus hadn't answered yet. Though she very well might regret hearing the answers, she knew that that moment was as good a time as any to ask the difficult questions. She wanted to understand how Antonin even began his sordid affair with the Resistance leader and how Ginny managed to fall in love with her husband. From what she gathered, there wasn't much time for romance. How could she develop such strong feelings? So much didn't make sense.

"Will you tell me how you and Ginny even managed to find each other in the first place? Neither of you exactly ran in the same social circles."

"Are you sure you want to hear the details?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't."

Deciding that he'd had too much to drink and needed to focus on the story he was about to tell, Antonin allowed himself one final gulp from the bottle before he set it down on a table next to the sofa. It was telling that he wasn't able to look his wife in the eyes. He was ashamed of his actions.

"She and I have crossed paths many times since the end of the war. She's fearless. Just like ever other bloody Gryffindor I've known."

He was able to meet her gaze for a brief moment to share a small smile. Over almost as soon as it began, he stared at some random point on the wall ahead of them. Hermione knew from experience that it was easier to bear one's soul when they weren't making eye contact. She was also heartened to know that he was telling the truth. Every mannerism he had, every tilt of his head and blink of eyes proved to her that he wasn't holding back.

"When everyone else was running away from me, she was running to me. I thought she had a death wish. Why would anyone go looking for trouble? Each time she managed to fight me back and make me run, I was impressed. I probably thought about her more than I should admit to. We weren't exactly in the happiest of places at home and it had been a long time since I felt so excited about another person."

While she appreciated the truth, it wasn't easy to hear. Part of Hermione had always been jealous of Ginny since they were teenagers. Listening to her husband speak so openly about his admiration for the witch made her stomach twist in knots. Was she wrong in her assumption that even if he knew about Maisie he wouldn't leave? She felt like she should tell him the truth and reveal the last of the big secrets hanging between them, but she was still worried about his reaction.

"I don't remember how we ended up in the London warehouse together. I truly don't. Some anonymous tip or some mission the Dark Lord sent me on. Rodolphus was with me, but he's never been the sort to stick around when the fighting gets too hot. The others with the Resistance disappeared too. At some point it was just the two of us dueling with everything we had. I was able to get closer to her than I ever had before. Maybe that's what distracted her. I don't know. She made an error and I had the advantage. I pinned her up against the wall. Probably should've just killed her right then and been done with it, but I hesitated. Long enough that she was able to kiss me."

She didn't want to hear all of the sordid details of their first sexual encounter. It was too much. Besides, Rodolphus had already given her more than enough details to paint a vivid picture.

"You said that you looked for her after that. Why?"

"I would think that was obvious. It had been exciting. I wanted to feel that way again."

"Did you have feelings for her? Is that why you went looking?"

There was a note of desperation and insecurity in her voice that Hermione loathed. How many people did she have to murder in cold blood to get rid of that weakness? She wasn't a good person. Did she also have to be pathetic?

"No, not like that, my darling. I swear. I wanted to see her again purely for physical reasons. I know that doesn't make it much better, but it's the truth."

"And how did you two start up again when I was gone?"

"I told you before that she approached me shortly after I left St. Mungo's. She claimed she wanted me to work with the Resistance. I don't know how much of that was true."

Hermione didn't want to hear anymore about his relationship with Ginny. It was too much. No matter how many times he told her that he didn't care for the other witch the same way he loved her, she couldn't deny that it still hurt. Sensing that she was reaching her limit, Antonin changed the subject.

"I owe you an apology for not telling you about the spell that was left over and for keeping secrets."

"No, Antonin. You've already explained yourself. I understand."

"It's been killing me. I've almost told you everything a dozen times. I didn't know if Rodolphus could activate that spell and then he'd know everything. A lot of good people, much better than us, would be in trouble."

She pressed her lips against his to keep him from rambling. When they broke apart seconds later, she promised him again that she truly understood finally his reasons for being so distant and secretive. They all made mistakes. She couldn't be angry with him for keeping secrets when she was continuing to do the same.

"It's safer if you don't tell me anything. Just until we know what this spell really is or how we can get rid of it."

There had been no mention of Babajide Akingbade's research into what the spell could possibly be since she received the message from Alexandre. She was nervous to ask, fearing that there was nothing new to learn. Deciding that the night had gone on too long for both of them, Hermione stood up. She reached for Antonin's hand.

"You're exhausted. Let's go to bed."

"In there?"

She couldn't stifle her chuckles at his horrified face.

"I burned the sheets and cast about a hundred scourgifies on the bed."

Antonin offered her a small smile, but she could tell he was still embarrassed. Would he feel differently if he knew that Ginny had given him Amortentia? Probably, but even he admitted that he went to her willingly when he was mad. He would kill Ginny if he knew what she did. Hermione knew that was one secret she had to continue to keep. Ginny was just trying to protect her daughter. Hopefully there would be time to make amends for all past sins when Rodolphus was dead.