December 15th

Antonin was more annoyed that his watch was missing than he was that Draco Malfoy was using it to track his location. When Hermione gave him all of the details of the uncomfortable interaction she had with the wizard, she'd been surprised that he didn't seem to be bothered by anything other than the loss of his watch again.

"I'd just gotten the damn thing back too."

She smiled at his petulant complaint about the loss the watch that he valued so highly. Part of her wished that she could have the same confidence that he did in their safety. Even when she asked him to try to remember how it would've even been possible for Draco to steal the watch from him in the first place, he wasn't bothered. Just made a promise to her that he would do what was necessary to get it back.

"And you're not the least bit concerned that he can track you, Antonin?"

He scoffed and then smiled large enough that she could see his dimples. It was an expression she loved seeing. Too few times in the past was there anything to be so happy and carefree about.

"The day that I'm scared of what a Malfoy can do to me is the day that I hope my heart stops beating."

"You're awfully arrogant."

"I have every right to be in this case. I've never been afraid of the Malfoys and I'm certainly not going to start now."

Two days after Hermione spoke with Draco outside of their holiday cottage, Antonin still wasn't even bothered enough by the event to suggest moving to a different cottage. There was no point after all. If Draco tracked him to that cottage, he would just track them to the next one too. He never told her that she couldn't leave the safety of the wards he'd erected. Only suggested that she be very careful if she decided to go outside. When she made the flippant remark about how she assumed he would insist that she remain inside, he'd acted chastised and almost hurt.

"You're not my prisoner, Hermione. And I don't think you're incapable of taking care of yourself."

"Then why did you get so upset right after the Dark Lord died and insisted I stay inside the wards or be thrown out forever?"

He released a heavy sigh at her question. Focused temporarily on the eggs he was cooking for their breakfast, he didn't immediately answer it. Several times since those tense weeks when they were still living in their Hogsmeade home she wondered about his controlling behavior. It wasn't like him to be so forceful and demanding of her. While she knew they were living under dangerous conditions, he'd never treated her like a child. With the exception of the first few months she lived in his attic room, of course.

"Because you were not yourself. And I don't think you'd been yourself for a very long time at that point."

"What do you mean?"

"I meant what I said when we were living at Gus' that I didn't think you could be the person you used to be, that you weren't capable of being as cold as you used to be. I know what you thought. That I was some patronizing old man who was treating you like a helpless baby. Maybe I was. Merlin knows I'm not perfect. Maybe you thought I was suffocating you or not treating you like an equal, but that's not how I saw it at all. Sometimes treating someone like an equal, especially when that person is your partner, is telling them that they're not ready or capable. Would you have preferred that I lie to you and tell you that you were perfect and there was nothing wrong with you?"

"No."

She hated when he had a point. Sometimes the differences in their ages caused them to see the world just a little bit differently. He also had the unfortunate benefit of living for so long under the cruel and dehumanizing dementors. Those years in Azkaban changed him for good. In an effort to keep those he loved protected, he didn't always care about their feelings. Keeping them alive meant a sight more than worrying about whether or not he was being overbearing or dominating. It could be infuriating, but she understood and couldn't summon up even the tiniest bit of hatred or resentment for him for behaving as he did. Reality was far from a fairy tale.

"You were unraveling. I worried that any moment you were going to…"

"What? Go completely insane?"

"Do you want me to be honest?"

There wasn't a need. If anyone alive knew how close she was to going completely round the bend, it was her husband. He'd been present for many moments that no one else was. How many times did she try to kill him when she was having an episode? While she knew the truth about why she was behaving so bizarrely, neither of them did at the time. It was a legitimate fear for Antonin that she would one day lose complete control over what mental faculties she had remaining. She shook her head.

"There's a change in you, love. When we were still at home, I worried that you would do something foolish that would put Ollie in danger. Now, I know that you would kill anyone who tried to hurt him. Even a scared teenage witch ordered by her father to push a suit of armor on top of him."

"To be fair, I have no reservations killing anyone with the last name Lestrange."

With the skillet still in his hand, Antonin crossed over to the table to spoon some of the eggs onto her plate. He smiled at her remark and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips. Some of the tension from their conversation loosened. Neither of them said anything further for the next couple of minutes while he finished serving their meal and took his seat at the table. She'd forgotten how much she missed the simple everyday moments.

"Months ago, I was worried that you might be careless with Ollie's safety because you weren't yourself. I no longer have that worry. I know that you are capable of doing what is necessary to keep yourself safe and protected. You've proven that repeatedly for months now. I no longer fear for you."

"Liar. Fenrir said he could smell it on you."

He rolled his eyes at her smile.

"Perhaps I should've said that I'm no longer as afraid for you as I was. I will always be afraid for you and for Ollie and now for Maisie. And the werewolf should really keep his nose to himself."

There was no heat behind his remark about Fenrir. She knew that because of his aid to her when she was vulnerable and alone, Antonin felt like he owed a debt to her friend. While she never expected there to come a day when they could all be friendly enough to share a holiday meal together, it was something. At least some of the hatred he felt for the werewolf was gone.

Most of their meal was consumed in silence. Already they'd had a serious discussion for so early in the morning. More were sure to come, but they didn't rush towards them. For the moment it was pleasant to just enjoy the companionable silence that they hadn't had much chance to experience since the whole ordeal with the Dark Lord's death began.

"It's almost Christmas. I can't believe this year has gone by so quickly. This time last year I was…"

She stopped herself mid-sentence to keep from admitting where she'd actually been. It was still a sensitive subject. Based on the slight reddening of Antonin's cheeks and the way he didn't meet her eyes, she knew that he didn't want to talk about what the previous year had been like. Maybe one day when all of their present worries were over, assuming they both lived that long of course, they could have a frank discussion about that horrible year. She hoped that it would finally clear the air.

"Well, no matter, students will be leaving the castle soon. What is going to happen to Ollie? This cottage makes a pretty dismal place for him to visit."

"Ollie has asked to remain in the castle for the break between terms and I think that would be best considering how uncertain everything is right now."

"When did you speak to him?"

"He sent an owl to Thorfinn's house last week. I honestly put it out of my mind completely until you mentioned Christmas just now."

A lot had happened in the past week. Hermione couldn't fault her husband for forgetting to tell her what their son said. Hogwarts seemed like the safest place in the world for him to remain. She smiled at Antonin to show him that she wasn't upset.

"He's worried about his little mate Hugo. Didn't want him to be alone in the dormitory for Christmas. Especially not since it's his first Christmas since his dad died."

Being reminded about Ron's death felt like a punch to Hermione's stomach. Would it always be that painful? Once she learned about Ginny's role in her brother's death and why she was forced to do it, she tried not to think about her old friend. It was too hard. She didn't want to imagine how difficult the first Christmas without him would be for his family.

"Why is Hugo staying in the castle? Why isn't he going home?"

"I'm assuming first of all because there is no home to go back to. Not after the explosion that killed his father. Ollie didn't give me a lot of details, but he said enough to confirm what I already knew. Romilda Weasley has not been handling the death of her husband very well."

"I'm not surprised. Anyone with two eyes in their head could see how much they loved each other."

"There was a rumor that Romilda had to spend several days in St. Mungo's after hearing about her husband's death. She may not be physically able to care for her children over the break."

The loss of a spouse and a parent was the depressing reality of their world. Hermione had been responsible for depriving many of theirs in her lifetime. Some of them she would never feel regret for. She didn't care for the direction their conversation was going. Reminders about the children who wouldn't have their parents with them over the Christmas break because of her actions were depressing. She decided to move their discussion into a different direction.

"While I'm certainly going to miss seeing Ollie for Christmas this year, you're right about Hogwarts being the best place for him."

"This won't last forever. Once Mr. Akingbade finds out what spell is still left in your head, we will get rid of it and then I will take immense pleasure in killing Rodolphus."

"Only if I don't kill him first."

Her vehemence amused her husband. She meant every word. While it didn't really matter by whose hand Rodolphus was murdered, she preferred it to be her own. After everything that he'd done to her, all of the years of manipulating her mind, she thought she deserved to kill him more than anyone else.

"Once Rodolphus is dead, we can move on with our lives."

"Yes, we can. But honestly, I'm tempted to go to the castle and drag Ollie out anyway. I want him where I can see him. I don't even think I would mind homeschooling him."

Antonin's laughter made her laugh too. She was only being honest. He leaned across the small table to kiss her lips.

"You would make a terrible teacher. It would be a disaster. You would both hate each other."

"Fine. Then you be the teacher. You should've been one of those to begin with. You're good at it."

The rest of the meal passed leisurely until Antonin had to make his excuses to leave again. She enjoyed the time she spent with her husband, the rare moments of peace that she'd missed. Something told her that they wouldn't last much longer.