Second Part - Darcy's POV
April – June 1812
After the failed marriage proposal and subsequent letter to Miss Bennet, Darcy returned to London crestfallen and sullen. For a few months, Georgiana had been staying at the Matlock household, as Lady Matlock was helping her prepare for her coming out that year. Since Darcy was not in a good mood, Georgiana had to stay at the Matlocks' for a few more days, not wanting her sister to worry about him.
Over the next few weeks, he thought several times about his complex relationship with Elizabeth. From the moment he met her at the Meryton Assembly, to the days they shared in Netherfield Park, to their walks in Rosings, to the night of the proposal.
The behavior of her family was appalling, particularly her mother and two younger sisters; it was perfectly understandable that he did not want to have ties to such a family.
He acknowledged that he shouldn't have been so forthright with her about all the obstacles he had overcome to propose, but he thought that an intelligent woman like Elizabeth would appreciate the great sacrifice he was making in proposing. He was the grandson and nephew of an earl; he was a wealthy man from the first circles of England. Although the Darcys had no title, they had been landowners for 800 years. On the other hand, she was simply the daughter of a minor gentleman, and had close connections to trade…and she didn't even have a good dowry to make up for all those shortcomings. If he married her, his acquaintances would mock him, and the Matlocks would be disappointed in him. It might even reduce Georgiana's chances of marrying an earl...and despite all these setbacks he was willing to marry her! She preferred Wickham to him, that was intolerable! She was a fool! She did not deserve him!
In the first two weeks, he thought about talking to Bingley about Jane Bennet, since according to Elizabeth she was in love with him; but after thinking about it seriously, he decided not to do it... It was better to leave everything in the past since he was sure in a short time Bingley was going to meet a new 'angel', similar to the previous ones, and he was going to completely forget about Jane Bennet. In addition, another of the reasons why he ruled out talking to Bingley was because if he resumed his relationship with Jane Bennet, he would be forced to see Elizabeth again in the future... and he preferred not to see her. He had to forget her!
Within the third week, Georgiana finally moved to Darcy's house. Darcy spent very little time with his sister as he did not want her to realize that he was sad and depressed. Several hours a day he locked himself in his office to write letters and analyze different business proposals; some of them he knew very well were not of interest to him. He fenced at least twice a week, attended all the parties and balls he was invited to, and also met acquaintances at White's more often than usual. He also went to Hatchards at least once a week to buy books for entertainment.
Despite the fact that he was busy for many hours a day with all these activities, and he began to drink two or three glasses of brandy to sleep, all his efforts were in vain; he couldn't get Elizabeth out of his head and she visited him almost every night in his dreams. They were beautiful dreams, and he hated waking up…
One night when he was with his cousin Richard and Bingley at White's having a brandy, some acquaintances invited them to go to Madame Dupree's establishment. After some persuasion and teasing, Darcy reluctantly agreed.
Although the young woman he chose to spend the night with was beautiful and an excellent lover, he returned home in the morning feeling empty and not wanting to return to that establishment. Unfortunately, the only eyes he wanted to see were Elizabeth's dark green eyes flecked with gold, the only voice he wanted to hear was Elizabeth's, and the only woman he wanted to kiss and hug was Elizabeth... He knew his situation was hopeless; he shouldn't think of a woman who did not love him and had rejected him in that way…
The following week, the same gentlemen invited him again to Madame Dupree's establishment, but this time, despite their insistence, he did not accept.
Georgiana was clearly aware that her brother was distracted, he had lost weight and spoke to her much less than usual. But since she was shy and highly respected her brother's privacy, she did not dare to ask him directly what was wrong. As a consequence, the siblings spoke very little and their relationship was increasingly distant.