Authors Note: Hi hope everyone had a great weekend, this story has two songs in it that I thought would be nice to add the lyrics to hope you all enjoy
Chapter 14
CJ and I were proud of Jake.
Roxy came over and took the bottle from CJ.
"Well the doctor will be pleased. Good job Jake. You're eating because your team is here which is great but you need to work with us mister, we only want what's best for you. CJ let's get him burped and Houston let's get you sitting down with him and see how he does."
Jake let out a hearty burp and a hiccup at the same time.
Nurse Roxy took him from CJ's arms and instructed me to sit and instructed me to open up the gown so Jake would be skin to skin with me. I felt nervous and CJ picked up on it.
"Relax Houston he will pick up on your uneasiness if you don't stop acting like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He likes you remember. You need to talk to him or sing to him you do have a great voice."
I took a deep breath and took Jake into my arms and time stopped.
This feeling came over me when I held Jake in my arms. It felt so right to have this little guy on my shoulder like a peace that I never felt before and a protectiveness that rivaled what I felt whenever CJ was in danger.
He opened his eyes and was surprised to see me and not CJ. He started to try and look around, probably wondering where she was and started to look like he wanted to cry.
"Whoa partner she didn't leave she's right here, CJ Jake thinks you left him give me your hand."
She moved quickly to my side and gave me her hand and I placed it on his back. He looked up and she smiled down at him. He looked at her then me and I started to talk again.
"I told you she didn't leave. CJ wouldn't do something like that. She is with you through thick and thin. I never had a better friend, business partner and…" I looked up to her and wanted to say girlfriend but wouldn't be appropriate.
Jake let out a small cry and startled me.
I looked up at CJ and she asked "and what Houston?"
"And we are lucky to have you in our lives, me more than him."
She smiled and started to massage Jake's back and I had let an opportunity slip through my fingers. Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt? What was so hard to tell her I was falling for her?
I started to rock the recliner and CJ started to hum a song. I looked at her and she started to sing.
You're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off you, you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much at long last love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off you
Pardon the way that I stare there's nothing else to compare the sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel please let me know that it's real you're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
Ba da ba da ba da da Ba da ba da ba da da da da
Ba da ba da ba da da da da ba da ba da daaaa
I love you, baby and if it's quite alright, I need you, baby to warm a lonely night, I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby Let me love you
I joined in on the second chorus and when we were done Jake cooed his approval. I squeezed her hand and looked at her.
She was fighting back tears.
She shook her head and reached for Jake's hand, "Jake baby my daddy used to sing me that song when he would tuck me into bed, that memory just came to me when I was holding you I hope you liked it. So Houston do you have any other songs you want to sing to our little man."
I was choked up and started to think, "Yeah this song came on the radio the other day and it reminded me of you." I started to sing.
When I wake up in the morning love, and the sunlight hurts my eyes, and something without warning, love bears heavy on my mind. Then I look at you, and the worlds alright with me, just one look at you and I know it's gonna be a lovely day (lovely day lovely day lovely day lovely day.) When the day that lies ahead of me, seems impossible to face when someone else instead of me always seems to know the way. Then I look at you and the worlds alright with me, just one look at you and I know it's gonna be a lovely day...
When I finished I couldn't look up. so I kept looking at a sleeping Jake. He must have nodded off during our singing but he was still holding on to CJ's hand and his other hand flat against my chest.
"You surprised me Houston I thought for sure you'd be singing a country song or a lullaby, why that song."
I looked up to her and whispered, "It reminds me of you CJ. I wake up and I'm getting ready to go into the office and just knowing I'm about to see you makes me smile. That my day wont be so bad knowing you'll be there and I can take on anything just as long as you are there by my side."
Before she could answer Roxy came back to check on Jake and saw he was asleep. "
Okay it looks like Jake is going to need to have blood drawn and an ultrasound. I really want one of you here when they come in. It's traumatizing for babies and I know he'll be okay as long as one of you is here. He was not happy with the staff when the did this earlier. Mark will be here in a minute to take his blood and Elena will be doing the ultrasound after that. He will be out most of the night. You can come in early for his morning feeding."
We nodded.
"Whatever you want us to do, will do it and you can count on us being here in the morning."
CJ started to whisper to Jake that he was a brave boy and closed her eyes. I got up from the recliner and put my free arm around her. I could see a tear run down her face.
"CJ these test are necessary we'll be here with him he's not alone."
"I know Houston but it doesn't make it any easier for him or us. I know you're putting on a brave face. I know this is difficult for you to admit."
She knew me so well. "Yeah it is but I don't want him to feel the fear it will only make him scared. I don't want him to feel that. So no more tears okay and we take care of our little guy so we can get him to bed and we can be back early."
Mark the tech came in and said he was here to take Jake's blood.
Roxy walked over.
"Okay let's get this over with, Houston you want to put him in the incubator or hold him it's up to you but you need to keep talking to him to get his mind off of it."
CJ looked at me and I said I wanted to keep holding him and CJ would hold his hand and comfort him.
She nodded and I laid him on my shoulder. He woke up and was looking around.
"Okay buddy there's no easy way around this so I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. They are going to take your blood But we are here for you. You're not gonna like it because I know how it feels being poked and prodded pardner. So Mark is going to do the deed and CJ will be holding your hand okay? Let's get this done so we can get you to bed."
Jake grunted and I asked Mark how the blood was drawn.
"It will be from his heel and I will try to make it quick, he gave my friend a real hard time earlier and I'll make sure not to hurt him too much."
We nodded to him and CJ took off his bootie and started to rub Jake's head. She started to sing the song she had sung to him earlier and he was looking at her. I joined in and he moved his head back and forth while we sang to him. I nodded to Mark and he started drawing blood.
Jake let out a cry and CJ backed up but held on to Jake's hand. I kept singing to him and rubbing his back Mark said he needed one more vial and I nodded and kept rubbing his back and Jake started to calm down I rocked back and forth with him and CJ had come closer to him and started to sing with me again she wiped her tears and mouthed sorry. I smiled mouthed its okay.
"It's over pardner, Mark is done taking your blood and I know it wasn't pleasant but it was necessary. We're sorry but I think it wasn't as bad as last time and we're here with you see I told you, you are not alone."
Roxy came back with Elena. She was ready for the ultrasound and Jake was starting to calm down. It pained me to have him go through anymore trauma but we didn't have a choice. I remembered what Roxy had said about the doctor wanting more tests and her being worried about his levels.
"For this he needs to be in the incubator. You can hold his hand; it will make it easier."
I gave him back to Roxy and CJ got close to me and put her arm around my waist. I gave her a hug.
We decided to have each of us on each side of the incubator and we both grabbed his hands.
"Okay buddy one more test and we will leave you alone for the night, it's an ultrasound which is a machine that will take pictures of your insides yeah weird I know. They are going to put some gel on you and I'm sure it's going to be warm cause I've had these things done myself and the gel is always cold and it makes me jump when the start moving the wand around."
Elena showed me the gel warming machine and moved next to CJ, "would you like to rub it on his chest? I need to do a scan on his lungs and heart". She took the gel from her and looked at me.
"Okay Jake, CJ is going to rub some of that gel on you then Elena will be moving the wand around to get the pictures she needs I know it's not going to be fun but, let's not upset CJ any more than she is now. Remember us guys have to stick together cause I'm going to be the one that's going to have to comfort her if you cry. I don't like to see her cry so if you can find it in your heart not to cry too much I will be forever in your debt."
I motioned her to start and Jake jerked and opened his eyes again and I started to sing you are my sunshine and CJ joined in. Elena started to move the wand around and his gaze never left me.
"Okay all done. Jake you are a champ all done now. Ms. Parson here is a warm washcloth to wipe off the gel and a dry one. Thank you to both of you. My job was made a 100 times easier."
CJ wiped him down and Roxy came back with warm blankets and thanked us for a great job with Jake, She said she was going to feed him I was about to say I'd do it when she shook her head.
"We need to see if he wants to eat and we need to do the feeding this time Houston, he will be fine I know it's hard to let go but he needs to know that we are all here to help. He can't pick and choose who will take care of him. Lil guy already has us all wrapped around his finger. Don't forget we will be seeing you bright and early in the morning."
We promised to be back and CJ went to change. I was still standing next to the incubator wondering how this little guy had taken over a part of my heart so quickly.
I looked up and CJ was coming out of the room and it was I was looking at her for the first time or maybe now in a different light. The feeling that came over me was like a bolt of lightning.
I had been walking around in a fog and it was finally clear. I wanted her to be the mother of my children. I wanted to wake up next to her every day for the rest of my life, I had finally stop running and figured out what was missing in my life and it was CJ.
I felt dizzy and took in a ragged breath. She had always been there for me. I was an idiot not realizing that the woman of my dreams had been next to me all this time.
"Houston, are you okay? Hey talk to me what's going on you're as pale as a ghost did they tell you somethings wrong with Jake, Houston talk to me!"
I just grabbed her and hugged her not wanting to let her go but this wasn't the time or place. I kissed her forehead and said everything was fine and I needed to change.
She put her hands on her hips.
"Ah no you were as pale as a ghost and then you grab me and say everything is fine what's going on?"
"Everything is fine really CJ I just was thinking how crazy the last 48 hours have been, if you would have told me we would be taking care of a newborn I'd say you were crazy. Or how quickly Jake has become an important part of our lives. I never felt so helpless but in the same breathe responsible for someone that I would protect with my last breath. Its life changing and I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else but you. After everything you've been through, you step up and take this on fearlessly and it makes me love you even more."
She just stared at me, "I feel the same way Houston, there's nothing I wouldn't do for him or Star. They were put in our lives for a reason and it was to make sure no harm comes to them. I'm happy you're here with me I don't think I could do this without you."
I gave her another hug and went to get changed. She was standing next to the incubator and I could hear her whispering that we would be back and not to worry that we loved him and we would always be here for him. She put the stuffed horse on top of the incubator and turned it on so he could hear the music.
I came up behind her and placed my hands on her waist and she leaned back against me.
"I don't want to leave. What if he wakes up and he doesn't have anyone to reassure him that he isn't alone, it means a lot to have someone to tell you you're okay like you do for me, I don't think you know how much you being here means to me. That you've always been there when I needed you and how much I've come to depend on it even though I shouldn't. I want him to feel safe. Is that too much to ask for?"
I pulled her closer to me and hugged her. "No it's not and he has the best nurses here and we have to follow their rules for now. You know you can always depend on me CJ I will always be here. Jake's sleeping and we will be back. Let's go to the house and have some dinner. It's 9:30. We'll eat, go to bed and then come tomorrow by 6:00 okay. Don't forget Carol is making her famous Lemon cake and you can have my piece."
She leaned down to him and whispered. "Jake we will be back okay, sleep tight sweetie and remember your horsey is here with you playing you music and will come back to sing some more in the morning."
I pulled her away and she leaned into me as we walked away to go home.