Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Author's Note: When I have writer's block, I often write a lot of random snippets of ideas, omakes, and continuations of other author's ideas that kind of petered out. As I'm afflicted with a bit of writer's block regarding Key Through the Heart (again), I've decided I'm not going to leave you guys in the lurch. Therefore, enjoy some writing I've been doing over at The Fanfiction Forum.
Konoha Ghostbusters. A long bit of prequel for the first chapter.
Yamanaka Ino had to admit, when she'd first met Uzumaki Naruto she'd thought of him as a total goofball. Loud, obnoxious, and idiotic. She'd much rather focus on Sasuke. Now he was dreamy. Cute, quiet, and broody. The loner. The dreamboat.
But, things had changed over the years. They had started subtle, the blond loudmouth becoming less shrill, but still just as goofy and smiley as ever. He'd hung around most of the time with Haruno Sakura, also a quiet reserved girl. Always wandering around together, fiddling over strange devices or books. When they'd entered the ninja academy the changes became more prominent.
Naruto's idiotic grin was foxier, as though he always knew something you didn't. He was very polite, complimenting girls right and left, pulling pranks, and making jokes. Sakura was blunt and straight to the point, always answering the teacher's questions, studiously taking notes, but also making sarcastic quips and cutting blowhards down to size.
Ino had naturally focused more on Naruto. Sakura was strange, but Naruto was, well... A guy. And while he and Sasuke were mysterious, Naruto was infinitely easier to approach and always paid her attention. A girl liked to feel appreciated, after all. And the stunts Naruto pulled to impress her were always very sweet.
"Is it a... A circle?"
"Nope. Close, but still wrong."
"YEOW!"
Ino managed to keep a serene smile on her face, even while Kiba next to her jumped at the electrical shock. Across the table, Naruto just smiled back and set the card back on the table. He jotted down a few notes, before pulling out another card in front of Ino, the blue-colored back to the blonde girl.
"All right, now... Clear your head..."
Ino nodded, concentrating.
"... Is it a star?" She asked. Naruto's eyes darted over to the card, and he smiled.
"It is a star, very good!" Naruto set it down, and Ino smirked at the fuming Kiba. Naruto held up the next card and smiled congenially at the Inuzuka.
"Hey, relax. Just focus... And guess."
"All right, all right," Kiba mumbled, narrowing his eyes at the card. "Triangle?"
"Oooh, nope! Wrong again!" Naruto sighed, flipping the card over to show a rectangle. Kiba groaned... And yelped again as Naruto applied another shock. The dog ninja glared angrily.
"Hey! What's that for?!"
"I told you," Naruto sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on psychic ability. Ino here is from a bloodline that specializes in psychic-based jutsu, but I want to know if other bloodlines have the same capacity. She's basically my control."
"But she hasn't been shocked once!" Kiba complained. Naruto nodded.
"Yes, so far. When she gets something wrong, I'll shock her to try and induce her ability negatively." Naruto shook his head. "C'mon, I'm paying you, right?"
"You didn't say anything about electric shocks!" Kiba accused. Naruto folded his hands in front of him, looking Kiba in the eyes.
"No, but you did say you could take anything I dished out, right?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his eyes only Ino could pick up. Kiba growled, but nodded.
"Yeah..."
"And if you can read minds, then you'll be a whole lot more powerful a ninja, right?" Naruto continued. Kiba thought about it, and nodded.
"Yeah..."
"So, let's continue!" Naruto said with a grin. Kiba nodded stiffly, still glaring at Naruto, who looked utterly unconcerned and earnest. It was almost enough for Ino to break down in laughter.
The card card was held up. Ino focused.
"... Figure 8!"
Naruto blinked and looked at the card, before looking back at Ino.
"Incredible. That's seven for seven. You can't see these, right?"
"No, I swear, they're just coming to me! It's amazing," Ino gasped. Kiba glowered at her, but bent over to make sure the blond girl couldn't see through the cards. Naruto set this one down too, and smiled at Kiba.
"You all right?"
"No I'm not all right! This is annoying!" Kiba growled.
"Relax, you've only got seventy-two more to go," Naruto soothed. Kiba flinched, but stayed sitting as Naruto brought up the next card. He growled.
"What, a couple of wavy lines?" He asked sarcastically.
"Sorry, this isn't your lucky day," Naruto chuckled. Kiba chuckled morbidly.
"Yeah but... Uh... Um... Er..."
Ino caught Naruto's eye. The whiskered-blond winked at her. Ino winked and smiled back as sweat beaded on Kiba's forehead. Naruto's hand drew closer, closer to the switch...
"Ah...! Er... YEEEOOOWWW! DAMNIT, THAT'S IT!" Kiba bellowed, yanking off the wire that had sent the last shock and storming out of the room. "YOU CAN KEEP THE 50 RYO YOU BASTARD!"
"I will, Mister!" Naruto called back angrily. After the door was slammed, Ino cracked up, laughing so hard she was crying.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God Naruto, that was classic!"
Naruto laughed with her, shaking his head.
"So, how long did you know-?"
"That it was a scam? The very moment," Ino replied with a wink. "It was very sweet... What was your whole plan?"
"Well, he storms out, I tell you we should talk about your ability later over dinner... And we go from there," Naruto replied with a proud smile. Ino sighed.
"Naruto, Sasuke-kun is the only one for me."
"Oh come on, give me a chance? Please?" Naruto begged. Ino thought it over.
"Hmmm... Well..."
The door to the empty classroom opened, and Sakura walked in, smiling.
"Naruto, you won't believe what I-! ... Oh. Hello, Ino," Sakura said, going from happy to irritated in a split second. Ino smirked cattily back.
"Sakura," she returned.
Catfight, catfight, catfight, Naruto mentally chanted.
Naruto sighed. Yet again, his chance to date Ino Yamanaka was ruined by his best friend, sister figure, and business partner Sakura, who was currently dragging him down the street.
"Seriously Sakura, can't this wait? I was so close!"
"Yamanaka Ino is a shallow, self-centered little brat," Sakura snorted. "You'd be much better off dating Hinata."
"Hey, I like Hinata, believe me. But I have to keep Ino from falling for Emo Boy! That'll just end up a train wreck!" Naruto protested as their headquarters/his apartment came into view. Situated on the outskirts of Konoha, the Hokage had done Naruto and Sakura a serious favor by using an earth jutsu to dig the ancient firehouse out of the dirt and used a few other jutsus to strengthen it. Red brick, with green siding, the firehouse was definitely their home in virtually all respects.
Especially for their ambitious about-to-begin business venture.
"Why not let her train wreck and come back to pick up the pieces?" Sakura asked with a growl. Naruto grinned as Sakura dragged him into the firehouse garage, shutting the door behind him.
"Simple. I'm not an asshole. I'd prefer she not go through with that."
"Naruto, Hinata loves you, has a MUCH better developed body than Ino, and is bisexual. Exactly why are you pursuing Ino?" Sakura asked flatly. Naruto shrugged.
"Okay, you caught me. I want a harem, and Ino'll be my second wife."
"Knew it," she sighed, hitting him over the head. She grinned.
"But now onto what's important. Mainly, me, and what I've discovered!"
"A way to de-emo Sasuke? Oh, hey Slimer!" Naruto said cheerfully.
"Heyah, Nawuto!" Slimer greeted, hovering over. Sakura tossed Slimer some candy, which the little ghost happily ingested. She turned to the Ecto-1, sitting before them with a proud smile.
"No... I figured out how to get that stupid chakra engine of yours running. Ecto-1 should work now!"
"ALL RIGHT!" Naruto cheered, hugging Sakura and making her blush slightly. "That's awesome! Let's try it out now!" Naruto opened the car door and slid into the driver's seat. Sakura slid over the hood and jumped into the passenger seat through the open window.
"Saw it on the Dukes of Hazzard tapes," she grinned. "Ready for testing!"
"Ready!" Naruto grinned, turning the ignition key. This is going to be great!
(Parts of this next section were written by my good friend Silverdragon15)
In retrospect, they should have probably remembered to buckle their seat belts, or perhaps learn how to drive properly first.
"Uh, Ino...please don't hurt me!" Naruto was scared, no, terrified at the infuriated blond in front of him. They had crashed, head long, into the front of the Yamanaka flower shop.
"No magic trick is going to get you out of this one." Ino growled. Sakura didn't even try to stick up for Naruto. She thought it would be very good punishment for him flirting. Naruto was thinking fast. Could there be anything that would get him out of this?
"I..." A wise man once said, if all else fails, beg like hell. "I'm sorry, Ino-chan! I was thinking about you so much that I lost control and really wanted to see you. Please forgive me! I'll buy you a five-star dinner for a whole week, and work at your flower shop for a whole month for free. I'm sorry." Naruto finished pathetically, his eyes wide and looking like they were watering. Sakura sweatdropped as she saw Ino turn red. There was no way that Ino would-
"Whatever restaurant I want, make it two weeks, and I'll forgive you." Sakura's jaw dropped. In contrast, Naruto leaped up and hugged Ino tightly.
"Thank you, Ino-chan!" Sakura was frozen to the spot, absolutely in shock.
NO FREAKIN' WAY!
A beeping sound broke over the sudden silence of the wrecked flower shop. Sakura looked around and smiled.
"Oh, it's me..." She pulled out her PKE meter and began scanning with it. Naruto grinned as Ino blinked.
"You got it working?"
"Yep, new model and everything," Sakura bragged happily. Ino frowned.
"What the heck is that thing?"
"It's a PKE meter... Um, a Psychokinetic Energy Meter," Naruto explained. At Ino's continuing mystified look, Sakura cleared her throat.
"It detects unusual spiritual phenomena. Ghosts, demons, psychics, you know..."
Naruto nodded with a grin. "It'll be the first part of our new business venture we're launching alongside becoming ninjas!"
"Which is?" Ino asked.
"Paranormal investigation and elimination," Sakura stated. "Or, Ghostbusting, to use a more colloquial term. Naruto, looks like that class five we've picked up a few times."
"Awesome! Can we try out the proton packs and the traps now?" Naruto asked eagerly. Sakura nodded with a smile.
"Definitely, they're in the back."
"Proton...? Is this anything like that science project you and Naruto made when you were ten?" Ino asked warily. Sakura shook her head.
"Oh no, not at all! These are far more precise, more powerful, and more advanced."
"Relax Ino, they won't explode like the last one did!" Naruto grinned... Coughing as his grin faltered, pulling on the proton pack.
"I hope..."
"Oh ye of little faith. C'mon, I got the car working again didn't I? And the containment unit," Sakura lectured. Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, testing a lot of it on ME. Or Slimer."
"Don't be such a baby! C'mon, it's moving!"
"Why didn't we take the car?" Naruto whined as the party of himself, Sakura, Slimer, and Ino ran through the streets, attracting plenty of odd looks because of their bulky and strange equipment.
"Because, we could be worried that you might get distracted by the pretty girl in the flower shop window." Sakura said sarcastically, rather resentful that her womanizer (from her view) partner managed to get away scot free from a potential beating of his body and ego. Ino flushed at Sakura's comment, and decided to change the subject.
"So, uh...what are you going to do when you get to the ghost." Ino asked. Naruto and Sakura gave her disbelieving looks.
"We capture it, and seal it away. We'll build up a reputation as exorcists, and then we'll start charging people." Naruto said, as though it was completely obvious.
"This helps us in two ways. First, it'll earn us money." Ino rolled her eyes at this, but understood the need the two had for money. D-Rank missions were similar to side jobs, not really bread winners. "Secondly, Naruto will be able to build up his reputation, and he'll have public support when he becomes Hokage." Sakura continued, glancing at the PKE meter. "We're close."
"You guys really thought this out..." Ino murmured, a little surprised. Of course, she always knew Naruto and Sakura were planning something, but not really anything like this.
"Yeah, we did." Naruto gave a goofy grin to Ino, and then nodded appreciatively at Sakura. "Wouldn't be here today without her, though." Ino could see Sakura smiling at that.
"We're here, Naruto." The team stopped in front of the Konoha Library. Ino frowned as she felt something off. Naruto smirked as he got the photon gun ready.
"Let's rock."
"Excuse me, you can't bring that... Whatever it is in with you," the librarian at the front desk stated, looking over her glasses at the trio of humans and Slimer already in the middle of the library's first floor. Sakura ignored her, looking intently at her PKE meter, which left Naruto and Ino to try and negotiate with the unhappy clerk.
Joy... Naruto thought with a mental sigh, though outside he put on his most charming smile.
"Sorry ma'am, he's our Nin... Ghost."
"Nin-Ghost?" She repeatedly incredulously. Next to him, Ino nodded.
"Yeah! Like a Nin-Dog, only a ghost."
"A ghost? That's preposterous, there's no such thing!" The librarian scoffed. Slimer looked depressed.
"Awwwww..."
"Oh, see, now you hurt his feelings," Naruto said disapprovingly, patting Slimer on the head. "There there, Slimer, she didn't mean it."
"Ma'am, have you noticed anything unusual occurring here lately? Books flying, strange ooze on surfaces, moaning?" Sakura asked in a business-like tone. The librarian raised an eyebrow.
"Well, we've had a few people report seeing some kind of... Woman's spirit floating around. But that's nonsense. There's no such thing as ghosts." The librarian glared at Naruto especially.
"I don't know what you're trying to pull, boy, but that is not a ghost."
"Sure he is!" Naruto replied, charming smile still in place. It didn't seem to have any effect on the ancient librarian though. Must be past menopause...
"Well, if it's all right with you, we'll just be looking around for a bit," Naruto said easily. The librarian bristled.
"No, you will not!"
Sakura adjusted the PKE meter a bit, and nodded. "Naruto, Ino, it's coming this way."
"Hm? Why?" Ino asked nervously. "I mean..."
Naruto and Sakura shared a look, and nodded.
"Probably because of Naruto," Sakura replied. "He's got a strong enough PKE signature that it attracts a lot of spectral entities simply by proximity."
"He does? How? Why?" Ino asked curiously. Naruto opened his mouth to explain, but somehow it turned into a warning shout on the way to his lips.
"LOOK OUT!" He yelled, tackling the surprised Ino to the floor. The librarian and other onlookers screamed as a terrifying, spectral woman with large gaping jaws and wild hair flew by, letting loose a horrible wail. Naruto hopped back up to his feet, all business, as a blushing Ino followed. The whiskered blond pulled the particle thrower from his proton pack and took aim.
"You know," he absently said, switching the pack on with a satisfying rumble, "we haven't had a fully successful test of this equipment yet."
"Well, no time like the present, correct?" Sakura asked, her own thrower out and proton pack humming. Ino gulped between the two best friends as the ghost woman continued to fly around, numerous people running and screaming for cover.
"Um, what's the worst that could happen?" Ino asked with a nervous giggle. Sakura shrugged.
"Well, we've ruled out total protonic reversal, sterility, and fatal levels of radiation..."
Ino just kind of stared in disbelief, as Naruto shook his head with a smirk.
"Sakura, how many times have I told you? If you're going to live on this planet, you need to learn the language. Relax Ino-chan, nothing bad's going to happen. To us anyway. Ready?"
"Ready," Sakura confirmed, as the ghost spotted them and dove, screaming horrifically.
"THROW IT!"
Murphy's Law is usually something you shouldn't mess with. That's why most organizations, like the MiB, when dealing with technology not matching the current society's, took safety precautions when testing them.
For example, evacuating everyone and everything in a fifty metre radius.
It was rather unfortunate, that they tried out the positron throwers on a rather emotionally distraught and very unstable ghost, in the Konoha Library, where there are many things in there that were irreplaceable. One can obviously see where this is going.
"Err...perhaps I should have carried the nine..." Sakura coughed, pulling herself out of the book shelf and the pile of fallen books from said shelf. The ghost had disappeared, but one glance at PKE meter showed that it was still in the general vicinity, just hiding.
"Oh, man..." Naruto groaned, blood running down his back. He had slammed into a glass cabinet, and then Ino slammed into him, causing some of the glass to dig deeper into his body.
"Naruto!" Ino shrieked, frantically getting off off him and pulling him out of the wreck. Naruto winced as he got up. It was times like these that he appreciated the demon's healing powers.
"Who the hell is that?" Naruto wondered aloud. "I've never seen any ghost be that angry! She must have one hell of an attachment to this library!"
"Either that, or she is trying to get rid of it." Sakura muttered darkly. "She's an Earthbound ghost, either way."
"Earthbound...?" Ino asked, trying to get over her shock. This was way too much!
"Earthbound ghosts are ghosts that have an attachment to certain locations or certain people. We've encountered a few, but we've never actually caught them. Convinced them to go to heaven or hell, or wherever they end up." Sakura explained, her eyes scanning the room, trying to find any sign of the ghost.
"They don't really cause any problems, usually just annoyances." Naruto said, gripping his photon gun tightly. "There was a ghost at the Academy of the old principal that took us awhile to get rid of. He would be freaking out at every broken rule, and followed troubled students around. But that's another story..."
Ino watched the two Ghostbusters, their bodies tense and eyes alert, constantly moving, never stopping their sweep of the main floor. She wished she could help, but-
Suddenly, she felt it. The rise of cold energy, the feeling of anger and spite surrounding her. She whirled around and felt more than saw where the source was.
"The basement!" A large bookcase that had not fallen over suddenly flew at her. She couldn't move, the anger in the air was so thick it was choking her. All she saw a flash before everything went dark.
"That's it." Naruto growled as he pushed the bookcase off his own body as he shielded the fainted Ino. "Sakura, I don't care what attachment that damn ghost has to this place, the moment it starts attacking my friends, it's dead." Skaura smirked. Naruto was completely serious now.
"Alright, let's kick some ectoplasmic posterior!" Sakura cheered. Naruto sighed.
"Sakura, remember to use the right language."
"First issue is figuring out why our proton packs aren't working," Sakura said, sitting down on a smashed bookcase and placing her pack down on the surface. "Cover me."
"Got it. KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" Naruto shouted. A dozen more blonds appeared, two picking up the fainted Ino and carrying her behind the librarian's desk, which like the rest of the library was deserted. The original Naruto sat next to Sakura as his clones fanned out in a defense formation.
"Well?" Naruto asked. Sakura sighed.
"As you know, I've had to build a lot of the components to get these things working again from scratch."
"We've had to," Naruto pointed out. Sakura sighed again in irritation.
"Okay, okay, relax! Continue," the blond soothed.
"My main problem has been a lack of stable enough materials to project the proton streams," Sakura went on. She shook her head. "Steel just doesn't cut it, even when using an electromagnetic shaping field."
"Well," Naruto said thoughtfully, "wouldn't it be possible to use chakra to shape the streams? What about those seals we copied off the You Know What Scroll?"
"Naruto, we're the only ones here except for the ghost and a passed-out Ino," Sakura pointed out.
"We're also in a village full of ninja," Naruto countered. Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Well, there is one seal... It's a jutsu designed to channel large amounts of voltage in a small space. But I haven't finished all the calculations for such a thing!"
"Can't you just base the calculations off the ones in Spengler's notes?" Naruto asked. Sakura sighed.
"I can try..."
"Look, worst case scenario we all die. Best case scenario, we trap the ghost and Ino agrees to become my girlfriend, thus completing phase one of my plan to get a harem."
Naruto really thought the hit to the head was uncalled for at that, but he couldn't help but grin at Sakura's blush.
A few minutes of intensive number crunching and ink setting, Sakura held up her proton pack's thrower.
"If we die, I'm going to consume your ectoplasm and evolve into a class seven," Sakura threatened. Naruto smirked.
"Then I'll always be with you."
"Ugh," Sakura shuddered. She aimed at one of the windows, the device humming with power. She fired... And to the relief of both ninja/Ghostbusters, a perfectly controlled stream of energized particles left the barrel, blasting apart the window but otherwise causing no damage.
"Sakura-chan, we are officially in business," Naruto grinned.
Cliffhanger! Feel free to use this as a starting prompt for your own story. Otherwise, you can look forward to more snippets.