This woman was going to be the death of me.

I used to wonder why my friends with girlfriends or wives would say this but now I understand. It's like CJ is carving my heart out of my chest with a rusted spoon and I can't do anything about it.

I was so angry that I didn't trust myself in blowing through every red light we came upon. I needed to calm down.

I let Uncle Roy drive us back to the hospital, we would be stopping at his car that we had left in the parking lot by the hospital when Andrew had snuck us in through the ambulance entrance. I hope she had enough sense to go back there and wait.

I snorted that the woman had no sense right now she was being stubborn and would be the death of me. I never felt so helpless in my life. Relationships should not be this hard.

Or maybe I was just realizing that she meant more to me and that I had been fooling myself all these years. Her abduction and now her thinking I betrayed her was fueling these feelings.

Maybe she would have cooled off and let the rational side of her brain get her to understand what I did was for her sake and Jake's.

Maybe.

If she wasn't there… I didn't even want to entertain that thought.

Where the hell was she? Why did she run? She never ran from anything in her life. This wasn't the CJ I knew. The CJ I knew was strong, independent and rational. Not this person.

Maybe all of this was finally taking its toll on her and I had let it happen, always wanting more from her, always counting on her being there for me when she needed me to be there for her.

I failed.

I needed to find her, who knows what trouble she was getting herself into alone, and having her mind get the better of her. I knew CJ was blaming herself for everything that happened today. From the interview, to us losing Jake and her thinking I was still in custody for assaulting that jackass.

When Hoyt and I had gotten to the station and walked through the door and saw Uncle Roy and Too Mean I wanted to turn around. I didn't want to face his wrath, he had warned me. I acted before getting all the facts. I had no one to blame but myself.

When he yelled at me what had I done and then the question that gutted me. "Where was CJ?"

My heart stopped. What did he mean where was CJ?

"Mattlock I have a good mind to box your ears in but that will have to wait, CJ's missing when's the last time you saw her?"

I grabbed his upper arms, "What do you mean missing? The last time I saw her some jackass was assaulting her and I was about to beat him within an inch of his life when Ms. Parson kicked his ass. No she didn't need my help she did just fine all on her own. Too Mean you would have been proud. But that's a story for another time."

I felt the bile rise and I started to feel lost. An ache inside of me that I had never felt before was growing.

"Mattlock?"

I looked at him took a deep breath and continued.

"Maureen and CJ left in the elevator but not before the jackass tried to grab Maureen. Bad mistake CJ grab his hand and twisted it till he let her go. To say the idiot was pissed off would be an understatement. I finally got to this jackass, knocked him to the floor but the coward pulled his gun on me and started to wave it around. I disarmed him and got some good punches in before I was taken into custody by Hoyt for assaulting the man that assaulted CJ. Oh and as you can see the coward suckered punch me while I was in custody so Uncle Roy if you want to box my ears in go right, I am at the end of my rope and if I don't get any answers quickly Hoyt here is going to have to keep me in custody before I end up beating someone."

I let him go and found a bench to sit on. An officer called over Hoyt.

I was rubbing my face with my hand. I touched my jaw. It felt swollen and I knew I had a cut on my lip. I would not be leaving anytime soon. They needed to leave and go out and look for CJ. What if someone took her again?

My stomach started to turn. I looked at the door and wondered if I just got up and walked out how much more trouble would I be in? Could this day get any worse?

Uncle Roy came to sit next to me. "I am sorry boy I only got part of the story, Carol called Will and when I got to your house with Star he filled me in to say I was angry you could only imagine. But on the way here I got another call, this one from Maureen. She stated they got the charges against you and CJ dropped by the hospital. She had talked to Jake's advocate and presented your side and CJ's and showed her that you two were not at fault, the advocate wasn't sold so Maureen used some of her persuasion and they agreed. She is one smart lady, from what I gathered she said she would use the media against them if they didn't drop the charges. That's all it took but when she went to let CJ know that you two were in the clear she wasn't in the spot she left her hiding at."

No charges? Wow, maybe our luck was changing. Uncle Roy said he would pick me up and get back to the hospital to help with the search. Hoyt gave me the news about the charges being dropped and asked if I wanted to press charges on the idiot for assaulting me. I shook my head telling him I just wanted to get back to the hospital to start the search for CJ.

"That's good news isn't it Houston, Uncle Roy? We need to head back to the hospital I need to find my #1 pupil and give her a high five, I knew she had it in her. She kept insisting that she wouldn't know how she would react and she exceeded my expectations." Too Mean was smiling from ear to ear, all that conditioning, the arguments and the sore muscles paid off she did what she had to do to get away.

I got up and pat Too Mean on the shoulder. "Let's get back there she might have just hid somewhere else CJ knows how to hide and she wouldn't leave Jake she will figure out a way to get in that room to explain to him why we won't be around. She's pissed at me, not at any of you. She thinks I lied to her but I was trying to do the right thing Uncle Roy you believe me right?"

I waited to see what he would say. After my daddy he was the 2nd most important man in my life. What he thought of me was important and I knew I had disappointed him but I'd do everything in my power to right this wrong.

He took me into his arms and hugged me.

"Maureen filled me in on what happened in the meeting with all of you and the hospital. You did good boy, she might not see it right now but she will. I am proud of you. I would expect you two would be fugitives right now running with Jake in tow. What you did show's you are growing, you do care and you used your head for once. That's usually CJ's job to reign you in but you were the rational one. That's why you two make such a good team when one fails the other pulls through. She won't see reason right now. That's why she lashed out. Our CJ is always in control and this has turned her life upside down. When it comes to Jake and Star she has appointed herself as their protector and in her mind only she can save them. Right now she thinks she's failed them. We need to find her before she does something that can harm her or worse those two kids. Don't worry Mattlock I'm sure she didn't mean what she said to you before she ran."

Maureen must have told him everything.

"So are we all going back to the hospital?" Too Mean asked.

Hoyt shook his head. "I can't go, I have to check on the progress of Jake's missing parents. Once I find anything I'll let you know."

"Michael why don't you come over to Mattlock's afterwards, you can inform all of us at the same time and we are having Mama Novelli's tonight."

He smiled, "count me in. I miss that place and I'm sure there will be plenty. If you need any help Lewis and Marshall will be at the hospital to keep the peace. I'll let them know you are on your way back and cowboy no more fighting okay I don't want to see you back here. Are we clear?"

I touched my chin "Yes Sir, Lt. Hoyt."

As we were leaving I heard him mumble trouble had a way of following me and CJ.

I followed Uncle Roy and Too Mean out to the parking lot. I saw my car and went to the passenger side. Too Mean said he'd met us at the hospital.

We started to make our way to the hospital. I asked how Star was, he said he had sent her out of the room with Beast when Will started to tell him what was going on at the hospital. I was glad she hadn't heard anything. I didn't want her to worry about us. She had enough to worry about and we needed to protect her. She had opened up and we needed to ensure she was safe.

"Talk to me son, I know you are angry you are letting me drive so that tells me that you are trying to reign it in. Tell me your side of the story what happened in that conference room?"

"I'll do one better Uncle Roy I'll tell you everything from the time we left her house to her running out of that conference room with my heart in her hand."

I told him our conversation from that at her house, in the car ride over, when we were with Jake and with her meltdown in the bathroom.

"I should have done something she was already on the edge Uncle Roy I thought she could handle it I had a feeling that this was going to happen I should have prepared her. I take her for granted always thinking she's tougher than she really is and I've got to learn she's just as human as anyone else."

"As are you Mattlock, yeah you treat her like she can handle anything but I've seen the cracks, she doesn't want to disappoint you and she takes on more than she is capable of but does it without a complaint, that's why I asked you to thread carefully. If anyone is to blame it is me. I saw it coming and I did nothing."

I turned to him he was gripping the steering wheel. "No Uncle Roy she tells you what you want to hear she does this all the time I know better I just don't want her to think I don't trust her when she says she's okay. I'm seeing her in a different light she's the strongest person I've ever had the honor of knowing. But she's also fragile and I want to be the one she leans on when she has nothing left in her I want to be her rock as she's been mine all these years. But I don't know Uncle Roy I've might have ask for more than she could give me and her thinking I've lied to her…"

"Have faith son, CJ is one of a kind. She'll forgive you I'm sure she's probably wondering how she's going to get you to forgive her in this mess. Her rational mind is hopefully working by now and she's more upset at herself for losing control. Let her talk don't interrupt and say 'yes dear' once she's done."

I shook my head, "really Uncle Roy I don't get a chance to be upset? If I could I'd put her over my knee and teach her a lesson. How can I feel like my heart is being dragged through glass on minute and want to hug and kiss her the next."

He looked at me and smiled, "Like you want to strangle her for not listening to you and as soon as tears form at the edges of her eyes you want to wipe them away and make her feel better? Yes son that's love and it only gets better with time. You two are in for a long road if you don't realize this now. I know you care and she's cared for a little longer than you but women are usually smarter than us and we are always trying to catch up."

"Ain't that the truth, thanks Uncle Roy I feel better and yeah I will be patient she needs me right now and my anger will have to wait till a later time."

"You can't predict how someone will react Mattlock, she reacted not like you expected and I'm sure that threw you for a loop. She is hurt and lost she will need to find her way and she will give her time. We need to get to the hospital hopefully Carol and Maureen have found her."

We got to the parking lot and decided to take his car and leave mine. Too Mean got in with us and we headed to the hospital. We pulled up and the circus was smaller than before. We parked and found Carol and Maureen there.

"Thank God you guys are here. Cowboy I know you heard the good news about the charges being dropped against both of you and the bad news that my sis is missing. Well the worse news is that I had brought her car and it's missing so we don't know where she went off too and found out that she called Will and she I quote "didn't want to be a burden to anyone."

I rubbed my temples closed my eyes and leaned back against the car. This day was officially the worse day of my life.