Kazak sat on the rooftop after taking a much needed shower and washing off his gear. In a fresh pair of his custom solid gray trousers, though also with a navy blue turtleneck sweater he found in the closet of the previous tenant of his room, a cup of coffee in hand as he read some Vortian datapad. The ringing was still going in his antenna but he could hear once again. Namely the crash of glass that had him peering over the edge of the roof seeing Haxx dropping a glass beer bottle taken from the convenience store across the street. Rather than say anything, he returned to his seat, content to enjoy the time to himself while he had it.
Vult, having seen to the team and their affairs before even considering his own attempts to unwind, made his appearance onto the roof. In their line of work, it was amazing what a shower, hot meal, and change of clothes could do for morale. While weary, exhaustion and discomfort melted away to bearable levels.
The past few days had been beyond chaotic with the influx of sustained injuries and high-risk engagements with some of the Vortians' most elite forces they had to offer. He took some pride, despite circumstances, in knowing that when it came to capability that they stood apart on their own and could match their adversaries and succeeded.
Wearing his own boots, uniform pants, suspenders, and undershirt, he walked across the roof to find the empty seat next to the small table beside Kazak. Steaming mug in hand of his own caffeinated Vortian brew, he sat down with a sigh. The view had changed somewhat since the completion of their assigned tasks at the power plant. Tallum remained as it had for the time being. No radioactive crater today. The change in the scenery was the Empire's reinforcement of Major General Saro's sector. No more "fatal funnel" between two enemy strongholds. The last bastion of Vortian opposition was effectively surrounded now.
"Mind if I join you?" He queried of the hearing-impared marksman, ensuring he saw and heard him.
The sniper glanced up and set the datapad down after hitting the power button to put it in a snooze mode. "Feel free. I'm still hearing ringing but I can hear you again, at least." He paused to take a sip from his mug before setting it down, "Besides, I think we still need to discuss some things. I don't intend on backing out of that agreement."
"Good to hear your hearing loss isn't permanent." The Commander began before taking his seat as Kazak continued speaking. His following statement elicited a huff of amusement before taking a drink from his own steaming mug.
"Yeah...suppose we do. No one's at risk of death or dismemberment at the moment so the floor's yours. I'm all antenna. Unofficial, off-the-record. Speak your mind."
A few moments of silence passed by before it was broken, more hushed, lest anyone at ground level manage to hear. "I don't want you to think I'm out of the fight...far from it. I want to see this through to whatever end this takes us. You've earned my loyalty and my friendship, I want to make that entirely clear." Out came a sigh coupled with a shake of the head, "Though, being free, I've hit this...I don't know what it is. Remorse? Guilt? Some...dirty feeling that despite what I know, aiding the Empire in the short term is…" He stopped to try and find some way to describe it, only to shake his head again after failing to find anything. "I guess all I can say is I'm to the point where I can't keep doing this and look myself in the face. I've been trying to go over alternatives in my head, help out the team still, at least."
Vult listened intently as Kazak aired his grievances. So it appeared it was not the burden of leadership and responsibility he was cracking under as he had initially thought. Nor was it the lax approach to regulations and the command structure. Something entirely more personal. Something far more relatable.
A few moments passed as the Commander processed all of this, sampling his warm drink once again before speaking.
"What are some of these alternatives you've come up with?"
"Something to put my talents to use," he paused to take a swig from his mug, "I know the team is on borrowed time. They'll eventually make us, I'm sure of it. I've been thinking a twofold task, first is solo recon, look for a place to lay low, somewhere survivable but where we won't stick out like a sore thumb. Secondary to that is locate Zim if I can, we all know how that went last time with him. I think he's a massive liability long term if we can't neutralize him." He paused, but this time cracking a smirk, "Plus I want your go ahead to get one of those suits from our new friends, fitted to me obviously."
"All of which are excellent suggestions," Vult reasoned aloud before turning his blue gaze to the marksman fully. "...though the Zim angle leaves further questions."
A long sight followed as he carefully chose his words to arrange.
"Kazak...at this time, your skills are irreplaceable. You have been steadfast and dependable with the exception of the past day or so, but I digress. You are leadership material, through-and-through. Proud and reliant of the team as I am, I do not see a successor to your position currently. Not without sacrificing another vital strength for it. General Vaukt's...sympathy towards what is in the works, while a great asset, leads to additional risks. Simply adding replacements to the ranks will complicate matters. I will have another Tuu...or worse on our hands and everything will fall apart before it can even begin. It will all be for naught. I would like to believe you are aware of this and do not be lectured on it."
"Yeah, I guessed as much." He answered, though not with any sense of loss about it. "I was going to suggest later that we take on Zurrak as Tuu's replacement. He'll trust me, hasn't had a reason to doubt me yet." Though he stopped to mull over himself personally. An experienced officer with plenty of experience to boot, aside from his fieldcraft skills. Understandable why losing him would be difficult. "I might have a proposal to remedy that. When it comes to my skills in combat, I have a small list of guys back in my old unit who I'd take in an instant, even now, and I'd know they'd follow me no matter the cost if I asked. I can assure you the same caliber sniper that I am in that respect. As for leadership, that is a bit more difficult...but not impossible with some time."
A long sip followed as he thought it over, "Ideally, I can train Aero for that. She's the highest ranking NCO here if we include Zurrak. If she agrees to the promotion, anyhow, but whoever it is, I'll gladly bring them up before anything. I really want to get going on this end for us, but I don't want to leave you guys high and dry if I can help it."
"Again, the issue there isn't the promoting within. Her focus is on engineering. Structural, vehicle, combat, all of the above...putting that focus into leadership takes away from engineering." Vult logically deduced. "I have no doubt she is capable and would fit the role...but I need an engineer before I need another Lieutenant."
Vult mulled over Kazak's other recommendations regarding his former unit and its members. Individuals well-versed in similar skillsets as he and proven reliable throughout their combined efforts amidst the siege of Tallum.
"Zurrak and the others are parallel to you, but the question then becomes of their loyalty." The Commander cut to the heart of the matter. "It is one thing to serve the Empire without question...it is another to ask them to join us with what is to come in the near future. You have been present throughout the complications that came from Tuu. Do I risk bringing, no offense, outsiders onboard? You and the others have came to your own personal conclusions to follow me and where I am to lead us. I never forced you. Just as I never forced Tuu."
Taking a moment to sip his drink, he refocused on Kazak.
"I am not opposed to approaching your former squad for a source of replacements or even approaching General Vaukt to source like-minded individuals, but you understand the precautions that need to be taken, don't you? We walk a razor-thin edge at the moment, Kazak...one misstep and we are all surely to die for it."
"One wrong word to the wrong person and we're all done for. Trust me, I know." He took a deep breath, "The people on this list? They're guys I served with before that came into the unit. Avak, the guy that took my spot when I came in? Helped clear him and his team a path back to friendly lines back on Praxxus, even if it left me trapped. Zurrak, I saved his spotter when they ended up separated, he was one of those I brought back on that stolen Vortian ship. There's also a couple of others who were my subordinates back when as well. These guys trust me, I'd actually even go as far as to say their loyalty would be more to the unit and even to myself and Mizak more than the Empire. Given time, and if they see what we saw, I know they'd make the right choice. If not, I'll gladly eat my own words before eating a plasma bolt."
The Commander leaned back in his seat, the chair creaking as he did so. One booted foot came to rest across his knee as he contemplated all of this. He, the commanding officer, leader, and above all else, entrusted with the well-being of those that committed to this path, had much at stake. Much to consider. A single command or action by his doing could see them swiftly executed...or worse.
His gaze fell upon the recently liberated power plant in the distance and the massing Imperial forces in the sector backed by the distant sounds of low-intensity conflict, smoldering ruins, and squadrons of Armada aircraft overhead. A long drink followed before setting the mug down on the table.
"...you speak highly of them and I trust you. I do not trust them for obvious reasons. That being said, the compromise I offer is the following: You approach them and test their loyalty. You believe them willing to ally with the cause, I will accept them. I want any future additions to the team to be unhooked from the Control Brains before putting on our uniform and setting foot aboard the Ghost of Irk. Guarantee me that and we'll discuss alternative assignments to see you back in your element and more beneficial to the movement with, optimistically, less direct engagement."
Kazak gave a single nod, "Consider it done. I'll need to call in one of the guys I have in mind, but I'll make sure they come around to our side of the connection to the brains." Another swig, followed by a short one seeing that the mug was almost empty anyhow. "About earlier, going off like that. Thanks for coming to grab me. I wasn't exactly...enthused about the waiting to possibly be nuked at the time."
Vult caught himself from handing out another well-deserved dressing down in acknowledgement of his subordinate's behavior, but he gave pause for a clearer, calmer mind.
"None of us were. The stakes were high and the pressure intense on top of admittedly high stress." He began in earnest. "My...anger was not directed at you. Rather, your actions and decisions. Largely because you've been given command over others and what you do affects them. Were it you and only you it would have been a minor annoyance at best."
He paused, taking one final, lengthy drink from his mug. The remaining drops were slung out before the mug came to rest once more.
"...last thing I want is for anyone to be unnecessarily harmed if avoidable. That includes you. Were I as cold and emotionless as the rest of the Empire, I would have seen fresh replacements three times over by now for every single one beneath my command. Sometimes...I have to protect you from yourselves...and I'd expect all of you to do the same to me if it ever comes to that."
"Considering it would've been you saving my skin if not for Ruk's intervention, well, hell, I'll count it. Helped you out of that situation before, I'd do it again in an instant." Kazak paused, thinking back to that day the course of his life changed, bumping into him on the way back from assassinating a Marshal. "It almost feels like an eternity ago at this point."
"Ever find yourself in doubt, remember the moment it all changed...that or have a conversation with Calla. She is the embodiment of what happens if we fail in this endeavor. Difference being there will be no preservation of us. Deactivation, execution, deletion...whatever euphemism you wish to use, the end result is the same."
Vult stood from his seat with a small stretch, taking up his mug.
"Keep me posted on your "recruitment drive". Cover your c'hurta and do the same with General Vaukt. He can, at the very least, make it appear legitimate if IIA or High Command become suspicious. I can only ask for your patience to spooch this arrangement a little while longer. One day, it will matter and we will no longer raise our weapons for the Empire. Keep that in mind."
"Well, the suit would be a boost." Kazak chuckled, picking up the datapad once more, but not to read it this time, "I'll get right on it. You'll be up a couple more guys, I'll make sure of it."
"Don't get your hopes up just yet. Sooner you find your replacement, sooner I can sign off on it...and don't stay up here too late. Get all the rest you can. It'll be a rare commodity in the days ahead."
The unit's commanding officer left Kazak to his station as he returned below to tend to other matters. One among them being a much-needed refill of the stimulating brew in his empty mug. Left to his own devices for some time, surrounded by the ambience of distant battle and overhead craft seeking to supply the ever-growing lines of the noose closing fast around Tallum, the access door to the roof opened once more.
Kazak started brewing another pot on a kettle over a camp stove set up on the table once Vult left. Part of him was content to even sleep on the roof. The open space being more of a comfort at the moment than the confines of an apartment. Rather than go back to reading the philosophy datapad he found, he ended up putting it back down, going back to a small list he kept of his unit. His most trusted picks that he'd trust with virtually any mission. Some officers among them, but perhaps not the best fit. Zurrak aside, he had almost come to a decision when the door opened.
Reaching for his machine pistol on some measure of instinct, once he saw who walked through the door he relaxed somewhat and checked on his kettle, turning the heat down. "You look like you recovered well from earlier."
Sula, the team's reigning medical expert, slowly closed the door behind her. A fumbling mess of nerves at rest at times, to witness him reach for a weapon upon her approach gave her a brief panic. Surely he wouldn't shoot her...would he? For what? Her neurotic mind managed to pump the brakes as he relaxed and commented on her appearance.
A hot shower and a change of uniform did wonders...that and Aero's blood transfusion with the aid of several liters of vitamin-enriched juice. Much like the rest of the unit, she was visibly tired. The brilliant, golden brown normally obscured behind a visor contrasted all the heavier against lids darkened with fatigue.
The small startle upon arrival interrupted her train of thought as she struggled to piece together a response bearing some semblance of understood speech. She settled for a nervous smile and wringing of her hands before her.
"I...you...appear to have recovered as well." Sula struggled out, taking a short, deep breath to steady her composure. Focus. "Commander Vult told me you were up here. I was...making my rounds to check on everyone's status...so I am here...to check your status. Health, that is."
"Well, my antenna are still ringing, but I can hear people again. Heard Haxx drop a bottle some while ago at street level. I forgot how awful fighting in close quarters can be to avoid suffering hearing loss...not like Hesa's rocket launcher helped either." The sniper set his list down as he picked up his cup to fill it from the waiting kettle. "I'm just fine otherwise. Everything else from earlier mended just fine."
Sula strongly resisted the urge to point out that had he been wearing his helmet his hearing wouldn't have suffered from the reverberating sound indoors that served to amplify already potentially damaging decibels from wreaking havoc. Instead, she settled for an affirming nod as she hesitantly inched closer to the vacant seat.
"That is good. Great, even." She observed, beginning to round the chair with a hand gingerly placed to its back. "...May I?"
Her opposite hand gestured to the chair.
He shrugged, not stopping her from taking a seat after taking a sip from his refreshed cup and looking over his list again, zeroing in on the couple of candidates he had in mind to come in. A Staff Sergeant and another Sergeant First Class. Both seemed like good picks… The recruitment was more on his mind at the moment. The opportunity to get out and get going on helping the cause, that's really what he wanted to shoot for.
Gingerly, if not awkwardly, she slid into the seat with a wistful smile. Her nervous hands rested in her lap as she took in the view across the war-torn dystopia that was once one of Vort's finest examples of civic architecture.
"You said your hearing is improving. Without a proper physical aboard the ship in the infirmary, it is difficult to say if there is any permanent loss. If there is any persistent ringing or other complications, let me know." She began, breaking the silence before clearing her throat into one of her hands. "Commander Vult informed me of his aid rendered to you after your encounter with the SIS agent. Have you had any other complications? Numbness? Tingling? Shortness of breath?"
"I'm fine, aside that ringing I have right now." He answered, still focused on the list for a few moments until he put it down. His gut instinct gave him a decision, may as well go with it. "Really, aside from the ringing persisting for right now, I'm fine otherwise."
The Medical Officer did not seem convinced by his assertions.
"Are you actually or are you just saying that to appear tough and be left alone?" She queried with a single arched brow of suspicion.
"Yes. I'm actually fine. My mind's just elsewhere right now. Got things I need to do."
A sigh came from the girl with a faint shake of her head. "Sorry, I realize that could have been taken as accusatory…"
Her lithe, life-saving hands lifted to drag down her visage before falling back into her lap with a clasp of her thighs. Apprehension welled up in her spooch in anticipation. A great many topics swirled about her mind, all demanding equal attention. Some more important than others, but all equally weighted in attention and value. The building anxiety manifested into a bouncing of her booted foot. Finally, she broke the stalemate.
"I get the feeling that you hate me...justifiably so." Sula finally blurted out at him. "...after what happened, I don't blame you…"
"Sneaking up on me, distracting me, throwing something out of the window exposing my position, getting yourself shot and damn near killed in the process. If this were my unit, I'd be getting you the hell away from us because you're only going to end up a liability to a sniper." He huffed, letting out the frustration he had with what transpired earlier, "But this isn't my unit. Vult sees his use in you. It's not my place to make changes on who gets to leave like that. Hate, I don't know if I'd go that far...but your view in my eyes isn't exactly favorable as it stands."
Despite inviting criticism, each scathing remark may as well had been the lash of a whip across Sula's back. Her eyes fell to the roof beneath their feet, tightening in a wince with each remark. All of which were valid points. All of which were foolish, irrational lapses in judgment she normally wouldn't have made were it not under personal duress.
A moment of silence befell the pair as she processed all of this mentally before turning her bowed head towards Kazak in a solemn tone.
"...but if it were, you would be rid of me?"
"If you didn't end up dead despite my efforts, yes. I don't need a liability of a medic around getting herself killed. I've lost enough men for my liking in my time." He shook his head before taking a sip from his mug. "Whatever, it's not going to be my concern in some time anyhow."
He may as well have driven a molten spike into her heart. Her, a liability. The last bastion against death itself for her allies and friends...and equated to dead weight. Something to be cast aside at the earliest convenience no matter the skill or effort brought to the table. She never thought herself anything great or special...but to hear it so concise and clear-cut from one of her supposed squadmates sent shockwaves throughout her consciousness.
Yet, her psyche survived this atomic blast of blunt honesty. What remained was steeled. Hardened. Tempered...and angry. The fire of pain in her chest rapidly grew into a burning inferno from core to extremities. The timid veneer melted away in favor of absolution.
"Yes, a liability..." She reiterated with sneering scorn. "A liability that saved you from drowning in a dark pool of runoff and alien fecal matter. I won't pretend what happened before didn't happen. I was frustrated with you and made a series of mistakes. I paid the consequences…"
The fire within became unbearable. She could no longer sit and contain it. Standing to her feet with purpose, she faced Kazak squarely.
"The only thing I am liable of is being selfless enough to risk life and limb to provide care when needed, no matter the severity. That includes your selfish c'hurta." She emphasized with a pointed digit at him and a scoff. "...maybe you are overdue for a physical. Your head needs to be surgically removed from your rectum."
"If I'm so selfish why didn't I just let you bleed out like the dumbass you were and focus on that sniper that got you, hm?" The initial outburst came forth before he took a breath. "Yes, you did pull me out of that pile of shit back there...as far as I'm concerned, the account is square on that point."
"Square?" Sula incredulously repeated. "You saved me, I saved you, that's square? Wash your hands of anything further? No one but you keeps a running tally of who is saving who around here. I've lost count the number of times I have been elbow deep in someone's chest cavity doing my job, but I don't hold that aloft over anyone's head, either."
Angry as she was, a hint of disbelief cracked through with a shake of her head.
"...is that all we are to you? A bunch of...debts to be settled or bets to be hedged?
"Believe it or not I actually consider some of you friends. The boss especially. I've lost men under my command, I've lost spotters I've been more directly responsible for-"
"We've all lost someone!" Sula barked at him. "Every, single, one of us. All of us were at Praxxus 7 during ID1. All of us came from units with horrendous casualties. We may not have seen or felt the way we do now but it happened all the same. I saw people I trained with since drawing my first breath out of the tank be vaporized into atomic dust from direct plasma artillery strikes. Limbs, gore, and viscera fell like rain from conventional blasts and shrapnel shredding entire squads. They were the lucky ones, to die in an instant. PAK Programming or not, we know fear. We know pain. I saw it. I felt it. The absolute terror in their eyes as they clung to me in desperation for aid when I could offer none. Only comfort in their final moments with their organs strewn across the mud and their pelvis and legs some distance away. I had literally bathed in blood by the time the Priority One evacuation came through."
While her rant started feverish, it became cold and dark toward the end. The brilliant, golden-brown of her gaze appeared to lose some of its illustrious shine. Either wrought by memories of that ill-fated day or her roiling fury directed at Kazak. Her contempt manifested into a leering glare at the marksman as she leaned closer and prodded his shoulder unkindly.
"Don't you ever talk to me about not knowing loss."
Doesn't even let him finish his point? Instead she interrupts him to tell him of her own losses? He wasn't oblivious, given everyone except Hesa was involved in the first operation. And yet...there was something more to this. Whatever it was, the patience for it wasn't there, and the desire to even delve into whatever was bugging her behind all this was practically non-existent. He looked her dead in the eyes, practically glaring, "I think it's time you move on to whoever else you need to see."
It took a great amount of restraint having been worked up so fervently to not lay into him further. She was hardly the combative type, nor assertive. Trained soldier or not, her duties as a caregiver came first above all else. Not all wounds were physical and all of them had their fair share of scars. Some more than others. Some fresher than others.
Rather than risk further escalation, she settled for shaking her head at him.
"I believe you're correct, Lieutenant. Clean bill of health. Cleared for duty." Sula dictated before turning about to depart.
The Medical Officer did not look back as she stormed for the roof access door. Throwing it open, she just as quickly slammed it shut behind her.
He let her leave, glaring, shaking his head at her dramatic exit. After a few minutes of waiting, enjoying his coffee, he turned off the camp stove heating the kettle and descended into the building, mug in hand. He went down to the dining room where he found Mizak, Avak, and Zurrak having a conversation. The Captain looked up, "Still deaf?"
"Nope, I can hear again. Ringing though. Where's the unit at?"
"We're based out of the school depository down the block. Why?"
"Sergeant First Class Thaas still around?"
"MIA. Haven't heard from him in a week. I'm guessing he bit the dust somewhere. PAK deactivation wouldn't kick in, not while we're all on Vort."
"Staff Sergeant Gers?"
"He should be back. Why? What's going on?"
"I may end up poaching some more guys from the unit."
Mizak blinked but couldn't help letting out a laugh, "What, you miss us so much that you want to rebuild the scout snipers with these guys? Not going to leave me much of a unit if you do!"
"No, no, nothing like that. We already lost one sniper in this whole operation an-"
"But I guess you're asking for another that's not Zurrak here...you think you're going to end up getting killed yourself?"
"No. It's not that. It's something different. Might be a change of role for me here is all."
Mizak could sense something was up. "I see…" Whatever it was...he was planning to get to the bottom of it. "You want him here, I guess?"
"Doesn't have to be right now but maybe within the next several hours."
Mizak nodded, "I'll see what I can do."
"Saving my rear again even outside of the unit, you know that?"
"Really seem to have a habit of it, don't you?" The Captain smirked, "Go get some sleep in the meantime. You look like you just came out of an eight round boxing match with one of those behemoth Vortians."
The next couple of days went by with no operations. Things from higher command went...very quiet. Not that the team was exactly complaining about the extra rest. Though Kazak's own efforts at pulling Zurrak and the recently arrived SSG Gers into the conspiracy was his own CO. His own training played against him. Surprisingly to Kazak, he wanted to know more. If anything, Mizak was more insulted that he wasn't told than the information sullying the Empire's name. After all, if his trusted former First Sergeant seemed so fervently correct about it, maybe it was true? The complication did provide some headaches, but at the very least it wouldn't have to wait too long for that to be addressed.
Little did they know what was going on at headquarters…