Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Author's Note: When I have writer's block, I often write a lot of random snippets of ideas, omakes, and continuations of other author's ideas that kind of petered out. As I'm afflicted with a bit of writer's block regarding Key Through the Heart (again), I've decided I'm not going to leave you guys in the lurch. Therefore, enjoy some writing I've been doing over at The Fanfiction Forum.
A few older snippets for Dolphin Man.
Naruto groaned and rubbed the back of his head, glaring at the tree trunk before him. It was pockmarked with kunai cuts from his training. He looked over at Sasuke and saw that the Uchiha heir was also still going strong.
Damnit, I can't let him show me up! I'll-!
"NEVER FEAR, NARUTO! DOLPHIN MAN IS HERE!"
Naruto gasped and grinned. "Dolphin Man!"
Sasuke fell off the tree in shock and landed on his back with a thud. "Ungh!"
"Whoops!" Dolphin Man said, sticking to the side of another tree with ease. "I apologize for startling you, good citizen!"
Sasuke's only reply was to glare hatefully at the Man with a Porpoise. Dolphin Man turned to Naruto with a wide grin.
"I heard you ran into trouble, so I decided to come and assist you, chum!"
"Chum?" Asked Sasuke in disbelief. Naruto grinned.
"Yeah! Dolphin Man's my hero and friend!"
"Then he must be as big a loser as you!" Sasuke shot back. Dolphin Man shook his head as Naruto seethed.
"Now now, Naruto! Don't let Sasuke's insults harm you! He's just making up for low self-esteem and intense angst brought on from unresolved childhood trauma!"
"I have no idea what any of that meant, but it doesn't sound good," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Indeed it is not, Naruto! Which is why Sasuke here needs our help!" Dolphin Man shouted. Sasuke blanched.
"Oh God, no! No more help! Not again!"
"Ohhh..." Naruto grinned evilly. "Okay! Sasuke, hold still!"
"NO! NO, NOT AGAIIINNN!" Sasuke screamed, as Dolphin Man held tightly onto the back of his shirt to keep him from running.
"Now now, you must learn to confront your demons, Sasuke! HA HA!"
Naruto formed the appropriate handseals.
"CHEER UP NO JUTSU!"
Sasuke's screams could be heard for miles...
"HA HA! Your time has come, Zabuza Momochi!"
Zabuza looked away from Kakashi just in time to catch a foot to the face.
POW!
"GAH! Wh-WHAT THE HELL?!" Zabuza demanded, reeling from both the blow and the fact that the word "POW" had appeared in midair above him. The blue-clad... Circus performer? laughed heartily.
"HA HA! I am Dolphin Man! Champion of Justice!"
"..."
Zabuza looked over at Kakashi, who had brought his face to his palm.
"Don't. Ask," the Konoha ninja advised.
"More tea, Dolphin Man?" Tsunami asked with a severe blush. Dolphin Man graciously accepted the cup with a smile.
"Thank you, Tsunami-san! I appreciate your hospitality!"
Naruto was smiling happily at the table. The battle was won, Gato was defeated, and everything had turned out great. Zabuza was alive, talking with Kakashi animatedly after they had discovered their mutual love for Icha Icha. Sasuke was still silent and shivering in a corner while Sakura tried to coax him out of his traumatized state.
And Naruto's new best friend Haku (who had revealed herself to really be a girl) was now at his side, smiling and blushing at him severely. Naruto had no idea what Dolphin Man told Haku-chan, but whatever it had been must have been good for her to glomp him so happily!
Though why she kept looking at his pants and licking her lips he couldn't figure out...
"I hope you like the tea, it's a... Special blend," Tsunami giggled. Dolphin Man coughed... And with a nod sipped at his tea.
"Yes... It's very good," he complimented. Tsunami giggled and blushed, before walking to the kitchen.
"I'll be back with more~," she said, winking at Dolphin Man. The Delphine Defender discretely switched the tea with Inari's. The little boy drank it, and with a smile and blush on his face... Passed out.
Dolphin Man shivered. Just once, I'd like to drink some tea and not have to worry about a roofie...
By Vesvius
"What... is going on here?" Dolphinman asked. Sure, he was used to this stuff from Anko, and maybe a bit from those crazy Hyuuga, but this? Seriously, this?
"Genma?"
"Who is this... Genma you mention?" The man who was clearly Genma, only in black and covered with senbon, asked. "I know no Genma. I am... THE NEEDLER!"
"The Needler?"
"Yes, the Needler!"
"Umm... okay?"
"Ah, I knew you would want to know how this happened?"
"No, not really."
"My Supervillain backstory begins long ago, when I-"
"I really don't want to know."
"It begins when I was defending my village from the Suna invasion. I was severely wounded by that strange man with half his face covered, so I put in for medical leave. WHICH WASN'T GRANTED! I have no idea why the Hokage has no wish to pay me while I'm recovering, but I have doned the costume in order to make ends meet!"
"...."
"Hah, I knew my villain backstory would leave him speechless."