Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Author's Note: When I have writer's block, I often write a lot of random snippets of ideas, omakes, and continuations of other author's ideas that kind of petered out. As I'm afflicted with a bit of writer's block regarding Key Through the Heart (again), I've decided I'm not going to leave you guys in the lurch. Therefore, enjoy some writing I've been doing over at The Fanfiction Forum.

Due to my wish to keep you guys entertained, but also due to the fact I have little time to write more material, I've been digging around my archives for older snippets and stories I've written for you guys. At this point I probably have at least half a million words written for Naruto alone.

This chapter is more limey than lemony but please enjoy. And Happy Halloween.

Oh Dear God she was evil. Naruto had always suspected it, but now he had proof. No jury in the world would let her get away with this.

Well, maybe if they were men... And knew she was doing this exclusively for him...

"Mmm... Uzumaki? What are you staring at?"

Temari of the Sand gave him a smirk, leaning over the desk. She was at just the right angle for him to see her cleavage. The knowing glint in her eyes at the bulge in his pants was even more infuriating.

And hot, but he tried to put that thought out of his head.

"Nothing in particular," Naruto said casually, the exam quiz laid out and done before him. Finally, after all these time loops he could do it in his sleep. Temari smiled coyly, delicately crossing one of her legs over the other. Naruto's eyes drifted to the scene as Temari sighed sexily.

"Do you really think you and your little band have a chance at this exam?" She asked, leaning a bit closer. Naruto smirked and shrugged, leaning back towards her. Hinata was sitting somewhere else this loop, and she hadn't recovered her memories yet... But even if she had Naruto would not feel guilty about this. Hinata found friends in his harem... And her dominatrix side found playmates. Everything worked out in the end.

"I'd say we have as good a chance as you, if not better," Naruto said with a smirk. Temari sighed again, breasts shifting against the fabric of her top. Her skirt rode up just that much higher on her toned legs.

"Really...? Some secret advantage, perhaps?" She asked in a soft, slightly haughty tone. Naruto's dick twitched at this, but he kept his cool.

"You could say that... I'd be more than willing to discuss it in greater detail with you in private," Naruto went on. Temari smirked at the blatant come on, as more than a few other test takers looked at the two blondes. Naruto scooted closer to Temari, lightly brushing his hip against hers. Temari's smirk grew and she leaned forward, looking directly into Naruto's eyes. The orange-loving blonde stared back in perfect repose, only a tiny hint of a smile on his face.

"Hmmm... And such discussion would include?" Temari asked, crossing and uncrossing her legs again. The enticing shadows cast by her skirt over the center of her legs made Naruto's smile grow just a bit.

"Well, as you can imagine, I'd prefer to not discuss it out in the open where anyone could see," Naruto murmured with a bit of a low, sensual growl in his voice. Temari leaned forward closer, letting Naruto take a deep breath of her scent. Wind, earth, and something that his Kyuubi-affected senses immediately dubbed female washed over his nose. He resisted the urge to drool as she shifted slightly, pressing one of her breasts against his shoulder.

"Do you have issues with being... Seen in public, Uzumaki Naruto?" She asked. Naruto smirked at the challenge.

"Not really... It's more for preserving secrecy... After all..." He leaned close and whispered in her ear, enjoying the small shivers she made in reaction to his warm breath on her skin.

"It's not the sort of thing you flaunt... But treasure," he murmured, scandalously licking her ear. She moaned softly and flushed, and Naruto barely held back a triumphant grin as she leaned against him more fully, pressing her breasts against his shoulder.

"Mmm... In that case..."

"Ahem."

Both blondes looked up at the disapproving Ibiki. Naruto shot him a foxy grin.

"Hey, since we're both done, we're going to take a short break, okay?"

Before the interrogator could answer, both genin vanished.

"Ungh... Fuck... You know... You could try being, a little, haaa, more subtle," Temari moaned, squirming on top of Naruto's bed in his apartment, Naruto behind her. The blonde demon container chuckled evilly as he continued to fondle Temari's breasts through her top, nuzzling and kissing at her neck. As a result of the demon he contained, Naruto's body was always warm to the touch, and thanks to the constant training during the time loops he'd done, he could now easily control the warmth of his skin with ease.

At the moment he was modulating the temperature of his fingers so that as they got closer to her nipples they warm up, but as he withdrew them with his massage of her breasts they grew cooler, the delicious contrast making Temari even more sensitive.

"Haaa..." She moaned. Naruto chuckled again and lightly bit at her jugular, making the desert girl sigh in pleasure.

"Right now, I've got a pair of shadow clones, one disguised as you, to come back and finish the exam, looking like they just fucked the shit out of each other," he murmured in her ear as he undid the belt of her kimono. He slid down the top of her garment, nibbling and kissing the exposed flesh of her shoulders as he did. Temari moaned again and nuzzled his neck back, running her hands over his knees and scooting back so that her back was fully pressed against his front. Naruto groaned in response, tightening his grip on her breasts when she wiggled her taut bottom against the bulge in his pants.

"Ohhh..." He moaned as Temari smirked. He shot her an indignant look as he ran his hands up her shoulders, pushing her top down enough to expose her fishnet top. His warm hands grasped her breasts again, inspiring a low moan from Temari as she wiggled her bottom against him again in retaliation.

"Ungh... That's not fair," Naruto moaned as he pressed his steel hard cock harder against Temari's ass. Temari smirked and laughed quietly as she dragged her fingernails over his thighs, making Naruto shudder.

"Says the boy with my top down, mmm," Temari returned quietly. Naruto smirked and kissed her deeply, pushing down the fishnet to get at her breasts directly. Her skin was so warm and soft-Despite living in the desert, Temari, like any other kunoichi, knew how to take care of herself. He rubbed her nipples between his thumb and index fingers, Temari moaning into their kiss as her skin flushed a beautiful light red.

"Just for that, I'm going to have my clones declare that you're carrying my child," Naruto said as he slowly broke the kiss, sucking in a deep breath as Temari unzipped his pants and slid her hands into his boxers. The skin of her fingers was slightly rough, owing to her years of handling her fan, but smooth and warm, and as he'd found out who knew how many loops ago, incredibly dexterous as she massaged his length.

"Nnnghhh," Naruto got out, pressing his face against Temari's and nuzzling her again in response. Temari chuckled, a low and sensual sound, as she moved her face to look him in the eyes.

"Well then... We shouldn't make a liar out of your clone, now should we?" She purred, kissing him deeply as his eyes widened.

Back at the exam building...

"I was thinking we could name the baby Iruka, after my favorite sensei!" 'Naruto' said loudly, an arm wrapped around the waist of 'Temari' as they sat back in their seats. By this point, Ibiki had decided to wait on the final question for a while, in order to figure out just what the hell the Leaf's most infamous prankster and Sand's desert princess were up to.

'Temari' smiled demurely, affectionately nuzzling Naruto. "Hmmm... Maybe. If it's a girl though, we are naming her after my mother."

"Well then, let's hope we have twins!" 'Naruto' cheered. He looked over at the gobsmacked Sakura with a cheeky grin. "Sakura, you can help us babysit, right?"

"What the...? Temari! What the fuck are you doing?" Kankuro finally managed to get out. He was beyond caring, beyond the mission-Some little punk had knocked up his sister? Right in the middle of the exam?

'Temari' ignored Kankuro and looked over at Gaara with a fond smile. "Gaara, I hope that you don't mind this. I mean, we'll visit you when the baby comes, I promise."

Gaara stared at her, slowly blinking.

"Don't worry Gaara! In a few years you'll be able to play with your nieces and nephews! Like jump rope and hopscotch and anything else you'd like!" Naruto cheered. Gaara stared at him for a while, before slowly nodding.

"I would like that. I enjoy jump rope."

"Great!"

Kankuro's jaw could not be any lower, as he tried to reconcile what he knew with the insanity that life had suddenly become. The rest of Team 7 was not much better.

"Naruto," Sasuke got out, but he had no idea what else to say. Still, as a clan heir and... Friend to Naruto, he managed a nod.

"My clan will... Support you in this arrangement, per our status as... Friends," he managed. 'Naruto' grinned and gave a thumbs up to Sasuke amid the gasps and looks of shock in the room.

"Thanks Sasuke! I knew I could count on you, buddy!"

His efforts earlier in this loop were definitely paying off. Make Sasuke consider Naruto a true friend of the clan, and under the rules he had to support him. This would A: Help make his ascendancy to Hokage far easier, and B: Slowly make Sasuke into something resembling a decent human being.

"I also thank you, Sasuke Uchiha," 'Temari' said with a small bow. "It is good to know our family will have such a strong and noble ally."

"Ah! Th-The Hyuuga Clan also pl-pledges it's support!" Hinata got out, standing up. "A-And w-will endorse any a-additional marriages N-Naruto m-might wish to have!"

'Naruto' grinned. "Thanks Hinata! You're a true friend too!"

'Temari' hummed, standing up and walking over to Hinata. To the shock of everyone (and delight of nearly every male), she began feeling Hinata.

"A-Ah? Wh-What are y-you-?" Hinata tried to get out, blushing like mad. Temari smiled brightly.

"Why, checking to see if you're physically suitable as an additional wife for Naruto, of course," she said. "So far so good. Nice large breasts, good figure for your age-You'll be able to bare him lots of children!"

"I-Bare-Children-Naruto-?" Hinata tried to get out, before she fainted to the floor. Sakura was not very far behind, eyes wide at the spectacle. Temari turned to her and frowned.

"You, Haruno Sakura, are not a good candidate for a wife at this time. Perhaps once you've actually hit puberty." 'Temari' helped Hinata back into her seat, and sat down on 'Naruto's' lap. Sakura seethed.

"WH-WH-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY-?"

Ibiki coughed and tried to regain order, his killing intent sufficient to shut Sakura up. "Now then... The final question..."

"Oh! Oh! Mr. Examiner Guy?" Naruto asked. Ibiki blinked and sighed.

"What?"

"If it's all right with you, Temari-chan and I were hoping to skip the obvious question and go right on to the next stage? Since it only requires us doing what we're doing now."

"..." Ibiki just stared. Naruto grinned.

"And when's Anko-chan coming along?"

"Yes, I was hoping to assess her for potential wife status as well," 'Temari' mused aloud.