Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Way to a Man's Heart...

At some point, Sakura is sitting on a bench in despair.

Sakura: "Ohhh... Why? Why won't he at least give me a chance?!"

Naruto: Glares... Then... Smiles devilishly.

In an instant, he henges into Kakashi and lands next to Sakura

"Kakashi": "Sakura?"

Sakura: "Ah! Sensei? What are you doing here?"

"Kakashi: "I wanted to offer you some advice."

Sakura: "Why?"

"Kakashi": "Because I'm your sensei and that's what I should do, right?" Eye smile "Let me guess: Mooning over Sasuke?"

Sakura: "I'm not mooning! I'm just... I mean..." sigh "Fine. Yeah, I am."

"Kakashi:" "By now, you've probably figured out that he's not the fallen prince you thought he was. He doesn't respect gushing fangirls who plead for his attention."

Sakura: "I... I suppose you're right, sensei."

"Kakashi": "No. What Sasuke respects... Is strength. In all honesty, he was quite the mama's boy."

Sakura: "Mama's boy?"

"Kakashi": *Nods* "Yes Mama's boy. His mother didn't take any lip or disrespect from her boys. The moment they acted out, she spanked them and slapped them hard, before letting them know she loved them. It was the only way to keep them in line."

Sakura: "So... What should I do?"

"Kakashi": "Simple. Sasuke wants a strong woman who doesn't take any crap. Especially not from him. You smack him around, You stand up for yourself. You don't put up with his broodiness, and I guarantee: He will see you in a whole new light."

Sakura: "Why are you telling me this, anyway?"

"Kakashi": "Because it's what he needs. It's what you need. And hey: I gotta keep this team together somehow, don't I?"

Sakura: "I guess so... Thanks Kakashi-sensei!"

She runs off. Naruto poofs back into himself, and chuckles evilly.

Naruto: "Ohhh, this is gonna be good."

THE NEXT DAY...

Sakura arrives bright and early at the bridge. Naruto is sitting there, enjoying some ramen for breakfast. Sasuke is leaning against the railing, looking aloof. Team Ten was already exercising in the nearby field.

Sakura steeled herself, and walked right up to Sasuke.

Sakura: "Good morning Sasuke-kun! And morning, Naruto. Sasuke, after missions today, would you like to go out to dinner with me?"

Sasuke: "Hmph... Sakura, you're annoying-"

Sakura: "YOU'RE ANNOYING, ASSHOLE!" Punches him right off the bridge and into a nearby tree

Sasuke: Stares up in shock as Sakura towers over him.

Everyone else is staring in disbelief. Naruto is trying not to bust a gut laughing.

Ino: "YES! She's given up on him, he's all mine!"

Sakura: "Listen here, Sasuke! I get that you have issues, but you don't get to insult me for being nice to you!" She hefts him up by his collar and glares at him "Now you're gonna take me to dinner and it's gonna be great just hanging out and having some fun! GOT IT?!"

Sasuke: Stares at Sakura... Blushes... And very slowly nods "O-Okay."

Ino: "WAIT WHAT?!"

Naruto: "WHAT?!"

Sakura: "GOOD!" She sets him down and pats him on the shoulder "I only do this because you're my friend and I care about you. So let's be friends, okay?"

Sasuke: "... Okay."

Ino: sobs "NOOOO!" She runs off

Kakashi: Soon arrives, and sees Sasuke and Sakura holding hands "... Sorry I'm late, I'm... Flabberghasted."

Sakura: beams "Don't be, Sensei! Your advice worked perfectly!"

Kakashi: "What advice would that be?"

Sakura: "... NARUTOOOO!"

Naruto: FLEES!

Sakura: "... That was both extremely cathartic... and looks like it actually works. Now I owe Naruto. Dammit."

Sasuke: "You're still going to beat him up though, right?"

Sakura: "Oh, absolutely."

Hope you enjoyed.