Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.


Ino has met Hinata at Hinata's home. Ino is looking very pensive.

Ino: "Hinata... You know, I mean... Look. I don't know how to say this, so..." Holds up her phone. There's a picture of Shizuka from the Nadesico Village, with two blonde, whiskered children outside.

Hinata: stares at the image for a moment

Ino: "I mean... I'm so sorry, I just... I had to-"

Hinata: beams "Oh my! Izumi and Izanagi are getting so big!"

Ino: "Wait, what?!"

Hinata: "They're Naruto's children."

Ino: "YOU KNOW?!"

Hinata: "Of course I know." smile, blush "I was there when they were conceived."

Ino: "Wha...?"

Hinata: "You... Are aware Naruto and I... Oh, you're not. Well, I'm bisexual. And well... We like to invite women home with us sometimes... And..." blushes harder

Ino: "You... You're swingers?!"

Hinata: "Oh, I suppose that is the correct term."

Ino: "But-But children!"

Hinata: "Well, there are a few women who desperately wanted Naruto to father their children, and in some cases needed him to. And I was quite happy to let them join us in the bedroom." beat, smug look "A few times."

Ino: "How-Who-?!"

Hinata: "Shizuka-chan of course needed to have children since she's the heiress to her village leadership, and due to their laws she needed them to avoid being ostracized. Shion-chan needed to have a child to continue the line of priestesses for demon containment, and Uzumaki chakra will let that happen more easily. Koyuki-chan needed an heir to the throne of Spring Country to avoid having to marry for politics. And all three know that I am number one in Naruto's heart, and so wouldn't make things... Complicated."

Ino: "I... Oh. I guess that makes sense."

Hinata: "... And they're all absolutely gorgeous." Licks her lips

Ino: "... It... How many others-?"

Hinata: "Hmmm... Well, first it was my sensei. She was just so broken up after losing Asuma-san, we took her out to cheer her up, one thing led to another and, well..."

Ino: "Is that why she's stayed so hot? Huh!"

Hinata: "Then Anko-sensei-"

Ino: "She has lost weight recently..."

Hinata: "The former Mizukage Mei, Samui-chan, Sasami-chan, Tenten-chan a lot, Ayame-chan-Also a lot-"

Ino: "So Naruto basically has a harem?!"

Hinata: "Oh please Ino, it's not his harem." Saucy look "It's mine."

Ino: "I just... I'm not sure how to handle this... Wait, did you ever think about-?"

Hinata: "You? Oh, lots of times. It would have been fun! But you and Sai are just so happy together. We're not homewreckers!"

Ino: "Oh, um... Good."

Hinata: Licks her lips "Your mother, on the other hand-"

Ino: bright red "HINATA!"


The perfect solution to the Naruharem problem. No need for Naruto to be a ladies man as a twelve year old, his wife is just a kinky bisexual and there are a lot of beautiful women who could use their sexy, sexy healing.