Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Most Kurama antics...
After the fight against Pein...
Kurama: Oi, brat.
Naruto: "Yeah Fox?"
Kurama: I'm suffering from a severe chakra imbalance. Eventually it may lead to you dying from exposure to my toxic chakra!
Naruto: "Wait what?! What do we do?! And it had better not involve opening the seal! I'm not falling for that!"
Kurama: Actually the solution is quite simple: You must mate a girl or several girls to initiate a purge of your chakra coils.
Naruto: "I-Wait what?!"
Kurama: You heard me. The natural cleansing of chakra coils after orgasm will allow the system to balance back out and we'll be fine.
Naruto: "You want me to-to-?!
Kurama: No, I NEED you to have sex, brat! Or we both die!
Naruto: "I-I mean, maybe I should ask Sakura-chan about this-"
Kurama: What the hell do you think will happen the moment you ask her about sex, huh? Or that you need sex from her to survive?!
Naruto: "Oh crap you're right. Um, well, what do we do?!"
Kurama: Ask the Hyuuga girl, fool!
Naruto: "I-I can't just ask-!"
Kurama: ARGH! I can feel my chakra dying! It's getting worse! I'm shedding!
Naruto: "Okay okay okay! I'll ask her!"
Naruto runs up to Hinata.
Naruto: "Hinata! I know this is really sudden and you probably don't want to do it but my Kyuubi chakra is out of whack and it's killing me! And the only way to save me is by having sex with a girl!"
Hinata: "Oh... My... I-I see Naruto-kun."
Naruto: "So, I mean, I'd understand if you-"
Hinata: Drags him off "We haven't a moment to lose! Let's get going!"
Naruto: "W-Wait, aren't you going to check my chakra coils to see how bad it is?"
Hinata: "Ah... Byakugan!"
She gets a chakra image of the Kyuubi... Winking at her?
Hinata: "... Oh my! It's worse than I thought! Quickly! Let's get to the Hyuuga cottage! No one's there!"
Naruto: "I-Oh thank you Hinata! Thank you so much!"
Hinata: "Oh no Naruto-kun. Thank you~."
Or...
Just before Naruto and Jiraiya are due to return to Konoha after three years...
Kurama: AH! BRAT! BRRAAAAT!
Naruto: "What? What is it Fox?"
Jiraiya: "Naruto, what are you-?"
Naruto: "Hang on Ero-Sennin, I'm talking to the Fox."
Kurama: Listen! With my Tailed Beast senses, I have detected that one of my fellow Tailed Beasts is in trouble! She's going to be captured by the Akatsuki! The Nibii, I believe!
Naruto: "Oh geez! We gotta help her!"
Kurama: Definitely! Her current host is Yugito Nii. She's a girl who has lived a lonely life, like you! You're kindred spirits!
Naruto: Quickly tells Jiraiya about this
Jiraiya: "Hm... I've never heard of two of the Biju communicating in this fashion though. Why is it now they can communicate?"
Kurama: Because the boy's been drawing out more of my power! Come on! Now between the two of you, you can deal with the Akatsuki members after her! Go on, go on!
Naruto: "Look, maybe it's a trick Ero-Sennin, but shouldn't we at least check it out?"
Jiraiya: "I don't know. Tangling with Akatsuki members now..."
Kurama: ... Tell him it's a hot catgirl.
Naruto: "... It's a hot catgirl."
Jiraiya: "WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?! LET'S GO!"
And so, one thrashing of the Zombie Ninja Duo later...
Yugito: "Oh geez... Thank you. I really mean it."
Naruto: "Don't worry! It's my ninja way! Besides, we're alike."
Yugito: "In what way...?"
Kurama: YO! MATABI! BABYYYY!
Matabi: Oh no... It's the Kyuubi. Tell me him I'm not here, please.
Yugito: "Eh?! Oh, you contain the Kyuubi?"
Naruto: "That's right! He wanted to save you two!"
Kurama: This totally means we can date now, right Matabi?
Matabi: We're basically siblings, Kurama!
Kurama: SO?! I saved you, give me a chance!
Yugito: "Er... Well, the Nibii is definitely familiar with the Kyuubi..."
Naruto: "Really? Are they good friends? Can we be good friends?"
Yugito: "Um... Sure."
Kurama: One day you WILL call me Onii-chan!
Matabi: God, those Uzumaki women totally messed you up didn't they?
Hope I made you laugh.