Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

And then there was THAT scene... Chapter 469...

After Sakura confesses her 'love' to Naruto, Naruto stares at her in silence.

Sakura: "... Well Naruto?"

Naruto: "... Look Sakura. We know that you're obsessed with Sasuke beyond any healthy limits. So you telling me that you love me is bullshit."

Sakura: "H-Hey! I could fall in love with you!"

Naruto: "If you weren't completely insane, yes."

Sakura: "I'M NOT INSANE!"

Naruto: "You're planning on telling me you love me so I don't go after Sasuke so that you can go and kill him yourself, aren't you?"

Sakura: "... Well-"

Naruto: "AREN'T YOU?"

Sakura: "How did you figure that out?!"

Naruto: "I suck at normal bullshit, I'm great at ninja bullshit."

Sakura: "Why now? You never were before!"

Naruto: "I had to reach some kind of enlightenment to use Sage Mode! Also I met my dad when I was going crazy in the seal, we had a long talk, I'm growing up okay?"

Beat.

Naruto: "... Also I'm talking to a clone aren't I?"

Sakura: "..." POOF!

Naruto: "Fucking knew it."

Meanwhile...

Sakura: "Ohhh Sasuke! Your new efforts at international terrorism are sooo sexy! I want to join you! You're totally my kind of guy... Are your eyes bleeding? Is... is that normal now?"

Sasuke: "It is for me! Anyway, if you really love me: Kill this stupid redhead girl who's been following me. I already stabbed a guy through her so she's losing a lot of blood, but you can finish her off."

Karin: "Holy... Shit... Sasuke... What the fuck...?!"

Sasuke: "Kill her... Or I'll kill you!"

Sakura: "Great. This bitch got penetrated by Sasuke before me. Hey, I'm really sorry about this, but I need to kill Sasuke."

Karin: "Wait, you're just getting close to him to kill him?!"

Sakura: "He's gone totally crazy. I need to put him down."

Karin: "But... He's my... Boyfriend!"

Sakura: "Holy shit, is THIS what I was like?!"

Sakura goes to stab Karin... Doubles back to try and stab Sasuke!

Sasuke: BLOCK "... Seriously? A kunai? That was your plan?"

Sakura: "No... I just remembered I'm a medic ninja." Breaths an anesthetic into his face

Sasuke: "WHAT THE-?!" Cough cough! Falls Unconscious!

Kakashi: "Sakura! Get back in the kitchen, I'm going to-Oh."

Sakura: "You thought I wasn't competent, huh?!"

Kakashi: "... I could have worded that better, sure."

Sakura: "You're lucky you're so sexy."

Tobito: Kamuis in, grabs Sasuke "Yoink!" Kamuis out

Sakura: "OH COME ON!"