The helos touched down at Groom Lake, the infamous Area 51, right at the break of dawn. As the rotors spun down, a vehicle came out to bring them into a hangar, the door shutting behind them before anyone was allowed out. Sensitive cargo and they didn't need any further issues coming out on the internet. Adams led the group to an elevator in the hangar, bringing them down below to the base under the base.
The ride down lasted what seemed like an eternity. Down into the very bowels of the earth it felt like with each second that passed by. Finally, the inertia of the lift came to a halt and the doors parted to reveal the subterranean research facility. Within, escape pods, clearly of Irken origin, long since held and studied, as well as debris from an old Imperial vessel that the humans of the US were able to recover.
Another Irken was there to meet them, black pants, red shirt, black boots, golden eyes but a more typical shade of green skin. An ever so slight bend in both of his antennae a large part of the way down was prominent, a result of injuries from crashing down in an escape pod and poor healing that led to a permanent alteration in appearance.
"So Marshal Vaukt and the twin Supreme Commanders of the Elite that Graak radioed about. He wasn't kidding."
"And which one are you?" Kazak asked.
"Kregg, ex Elite Staff Sergeant," he replied, before being cut off by a human passing by.
"And an absolute royal pain in the ass."
"Ey, don't be like that."
"Well, you meet our fearless leaders then? We do have the Tallest here."
"No shit," Kregg blinked in surprise. "How's Miyuki?"
"Dead," Vaukt flatley answered.
"So…Spork then?"
"Also dead," Zha added.
Kregg scratched his head, "Then…who?" He waited for an answer, only for Kazak to gesture to Red and Purple. "...Really? The two Supreme Commanders are now the Tallest?"
"It's…a long story." Tak tiredly summarized, turning her attention to Kregg. "Not sure how much these humans have told the lot of you about what is going on back home. I cannot imagine they've been privy to allow you all to free range considering the common quotient of what passes for intelligence for this planet."
"They've been briefed and are equally curious to your arrival." Adams concurred, stepping forward. "Where's the walking god complex at? Prefer to get all of you in the same room and keep reports straight."
"God…complex?" Tak blinked, confused.
"Klarb. The scientific explorer and researcher Kregg and his team were tasked with protecting. I'm sure he will be…ecstatic to see all of you."
Kregg motioned for them to follow him. "Yeah, real god complex all right. The dude's single handedly responsible for lots of advancements for these people. Ever wonder how they managed to figure out how to make their own datanet?"
"So their internet is just an extremely primitive version of our own extranet?" Kazak blinked.
"Catch on quick there, Vortian guy." Kregg definitely noticed the symbols on the sniper's armor but paid no mind to it. "Yeah, the guy thinks all of the world should bow down to him and he can uplift them to greater and better things. But, well, production tech here hasn't caught up to what the Empire has."
In a technology lab were another two Irken, both in lab coats. A dark green skinned, dark blue eyed Irken slammed his fist down on the table. The other one, of light green skin and orange eyes glanced over.
"No! No! No! How many times do I have to tell you people about what to get?!"
"Klarb, nothing here we have as a radio transmitter goes beyond UHF."
"Then get me a radar and I'll jury rig it. You'd think they'd figure out tight-beam by now but noooo, I have to do that with two tin cans, rocks, and a piece of string! Sheesh."
"Klarb!" Kregg yelled, "I think our rescue party finally showed up!"
The blue eyed male looked up at Kregg. "After all this time?"
"You boys couldn't get that lucky." Adams jested at their expense. "More squatters, but unlike you, they didn't smear their ship and half the crew across the New Mexico desert."
The man made his way over, looking at the new arrivals. One in a Vortian muscle suit of some sort and a violet eyed female…he didn't recognize either of them. Looking at the other two, however, elicited a quick response. "Marshal Vaukt and Marshal Zha? What's the head of SpecOps and a real high flier of the Imperial Troopers doing here?"
"I've been demoted, actually, since all of you keep addressing me as Marshal. Clearly shows how long you've all been here." Vaukt clarified, "But since promoted myself to Generalissimo."
Zha sighed tiredly and Tak rolled her eyes, but neither commented.
"Sounds fancy. But, still, this is very unexpected and very, very out of character even for the Empire."
"Because it is." Tak stated soundly. "We're here because of the Empire and not for the Empire."
"…so this isn't a rescue mission?"
"Unfortunately, no. We literally found out about the rest of you hours ago. As I said to Kregg on the way here…it's a long story."
Klarb simply sighed, taking out a quarter and adding it to a jar about half full of coins. A piece of masking tape attached to its front at an angle displayed hand-written text of "Adams was right". Kregg also shook his head.
"Yeah, sorry to burst your bubble." Vaukt shrugged.
"Well, I get to see the first peek of some new tech and you and the Vortian defector here seem to have some very nice new armors I'd love to take a look at if I had the opportunity to. But, why is it you're here? If you promoted yourself to Generalissimo it's clearly not exile of some sort. Not like what Miyuki did for that moron Zim we were told about."
Kazak cleared his throat, "That was them actually," he gestured to Red and Purple.
Klarb's attention turned to the two tallest Irken of the group. "Supreme Commanders Red and Purple?"
"Tallest Purple and Red, thank you very much." The violet ex-leader professed with indignation, only to earn himself a smack of the shoulder from his co-ruler. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Be quiet."
"Yes, please do." Tak tiredly commented, looking back to the resident "experts" of Earth. "Can we discuss this somewhere…private? Top-secret government facility or not, I'm certain not everyone walking around here has the proper clearance to hear these sensitive matters of intergalactic security."
Adams chuckled, shaking his head.
"...made the moron an Invader but passed this one over…incredible…all of you, right this way. Can put you up in the conference room to get everyone on the same page. Once you're done, we have our own line of questions."
Klarb snapped his fingers, grabbing the attention of his assistant and gesturing for him to come along. Kregg led the way to the conference room, getting a pot of coffee going on the machine nearby as everyone else took one of the various seats at the table.
"So, to pique my curiosity, Vaukt, tell me, what are these armors you and the defector have on?" Klarb was quite keen to catch up on at least some developments while they've been on Earth.
"Mine? Power armor, my own design, made in Vortian facilities with Vortian materials after we've taken over the planet. Ablatives and ballistic protection melded into the same armor. It's proven quite resilient so far on the campaigns I've been in with it so far."
"Astounding. Why the ablatives?"
"Enough shop talk. You boys can talk about your toys later." Zha interrupted, looking at their new acquaintances. "The humans said they've been monitoring us for some time and apparently you are aware to some degree what is happening back home. How informed are you?"
"We've gotten information about Zim. What with the Tallest sending him here and the…very hairbrained schemes he gets up to." Klarb began before stopping to chuckle and shake his head. "They had to send a diver out to one of the beaches lately."
"Why's that?" Kazak asked with a blink, "What'd he do?"
"He threw a singular car battery into the ocean." Kazak could only shake his head in response, Zim actually went through with it. "Anyhow, we figured it was Miyuki he was talking to and she sent him here because Zim is an absolute fuckup who can't do anything right. You know he ruined one of my experiments once? He was back in the Elite, a rocket he fired came through my lab. Destroyed my experiment, my records, everything."
"So, you weren't aware of any of the changes of leadership?" Vaukt inquired, "Nothing within the recent years?"
"No. We assumed Miyuki was still Tallest, Spork Warmaster, and these two and Grimm being Supreme Commanders. You're clearly still head of SpecOps but not a Marshal anymore. Curious. Let me guess, Zha isn't an Army Group level commander anymore either."
"She's High Marshal now, took over the Imperial Troopers, or did."
"And now? These two are in charge?"
"...Not exactly."
"Come again?"
Zha gave a pursed expression, realizing how in-the-dark they actually were. They knew of Zim's arrival and idiocy but nothing more. Where to begin…
"Much has…changed in recent months." She began, thinking her words over. "We can provide more in-depth reports on matters, but prior to our…departure from familiar territory, Vaukt headed up Special Operations. I was promoted after my superior's head was turned into a pulpy mass on Vort. Grimm…"
"Grimm is a jerk! So is Xilch!" Purple smarted off with a huff. "She had us arrested! US!"
Red masked his contempt to clarify Purple's emotional outburst.
"Interfering with an ongoing investigation or some other nonsense…we were horribly losing a campaign that she snatched Zha away from. I do not know how or why, but something is afoul with Internal Affairs and we ended up in the middle of it."
Vaukt sighed, "You were both overthrown in a coup, you idiots. Xilch was the coup, by Grimm, to take you two out of power. That's what happened. She just had a convenient excuse when you tried to get Zha out of there and back to the front…thanks for not lifting that shoot to kill order on my head, by the way. Made my sneaking about Imperial space a lot more interesting."
Zha's focus shifted elsewhere distantly at the group recollection of events. Events she remembered with crystal clarity and hoped to never relive again. Despite being months past and living a relatively tranquil life on Earth now, her thoughts snapped back to that barred view of cold concrete and Colonel Niz's cruelty. Before any concern could be mouthed, she quickly stood up to take her leave.
"Excuse me."
"Damn it," Vaukt muttered to himself before getting up and going after her, snatching a cup of coffee out of Kregg's hand as he walked by.
"Rude-"
"Don't, Kregg, that's one situation you don't want to put yourself in the middle of." Kazak quickly added as Vaukt walked out the door to Zha, holding the cup of coffee out to her.
"...huh…" Klarb huffed with a mildly surprised blink.
"What?" Tak queried.
"Oh, nothing…I wasn't aware we could suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."
"You…knew what that was?"
"Of course. I've had 7 decades of boredom between research here. Hobbies keep a man from going insane….and that is a textbook case if I've ever seen one. Plenty of cases among humans throughout history, but the first time I've seen an Irken suffering from it. I didn't think it was possible." He admitted, looking back to the remaining visitors. "...so this coup business…"
"It's a long, long lasting coup and lots of funny business since we've started being unhooked to some numbers or another," Kazak began, sipping some coffee before continuing.
Outside the room, Vaukt stood near Zha while she drank from the offered cup. He figured out it wasn't best to say anything. His physical presence seemed to do more help than anything he could say in times like this.
Zha stood, attempting to sip the coffee given with trembling hands. No, keep it together. Not here. She wasn't there. Light years away from the horrible, wretched place. Everyone involved dead or soon-to-be by allies and confidants.
"Sorry...wasn't expecting that…" She muttered meekly in admittance, her lime green eyes glazed over and staring distantly at the opposite wall. "Needed to leave before they thought me crazy."
Vaukt's armored hand came around her waist in reassurance as he planted a kiss on her cheek, smiling at her. "Whatever you need is what you need, my dearest, the others be damned."
However welcome the affections and comfort may have been, it didn't change reality. The former High Marshal shook her head with a shaky exhale.
"No, the others need me. You need me. As soon as I feel like I'm back in that cell, I can't breathe. I will beat this. I must."
"Well, you know I'm not going anywhere. You'll have me…your crazy armored man who fell in love with these human man skirts." Vaukt chuckled, figuring getting her mind on a different topic might help matters, "Admit it, you know you like how I look in it."
Zha closed her eyes with a bemused huff, shaking her head.
"I like that it makes you express emotions other than vitriol and bitterness…" She responded in jest, sighing as her features fell to a troubled expression. "...not sure what to make of the other Irken already here before us…or their involvement with the humans. This is…a lot to take in."
"News to me too. Never knew about their arrival here…or that there were any of us here other than Zim. Something I'm inclined to figure out." Vaukt paused, "Something to have some hope in though. Very apparent that we're capable of life without the Empire if these guys have been here for over seven decades and have done well for themselves."
She did not immediately answer, instead steadying her nerves with a sampling of coffee to contemplate.
"They did not arrive here on purpose, but to be this far from Irk even back then on a mission of exploration is peculiar. Doubly-so when none of us had the slightest idea. Surely Special Operations would have been aware of such clandestine endeavors."
Another drink.
"Not that it matters now. Explains why Earth is largely unknown on star charts. Unconfirmed considering the closest contact to it ended up crash-landing on it and unable to send for help. Do you think they can be trusted? They appear to have gone native here and have clearly aided the humans in advancing their own technology and armaments."
"I think so. I mean, think about it, they've found a way of life outside the Empire. They like it here on some level…they have to be unhooked on top of that to have survived this long. Highly incentivized to preserve what they have going. I think they're as close as we have to free Irken who live outside of the grasp of the Empire as it is right now, unless that crazy theory plays out."
"Maybe…or maybe they were simply waiting for rescue and are fanatically loyal to the Empire. I will not turn away aid but it will complicate matters if they do not share the same goals as us…and this is not even getting into the matter of this sect of humans knowing so much about us."
"Is that an iota of distrust and…fear of an inferior species I am hearing?" Adam's voice carried down the hall as he approached the pair. "Humbling as that is, I can assure you as far as we are concerned, we have everything to gain from our…association…and you look ill. Are you sick?"
"No." Zha quickly answered. "Not sick…just stress."
"Well, if you are sick, we have facilities and staff here trained in your physiology thanks to Klarb. He couldn't be bothered to give the others routine physicals and treatments so he taught the "peons" how to do basic medical diagnosis on your species." The human agent explained, turning his attention back to Vaukt. "How are the local celebrities coping with the news back home?"
"Kazak is explaining it to them. I guess Graak will have to be spun up whenever he arrives." Vaukt answered before looking to Zha, "I think we can trust these guys. I don't think fanatically loyal followers of the Empire would have disabled any of their PAK functionality even to save their own skin. I'm also quite curious as to their own story as to how they got lost here."
Adams chuckled.
"Quite the story, that is. My predecessors over the years were less inclined to be…considerate to them. Granted, we'd just concluded a global conflict with the highest loss of life in recorded history so most of those veterans were hard men. They split the atom with analog computation and then proceeded to weaponize it to end that war decisively. Sure that is something your children can accomplish, but I digress…my handlers have learned we trap more flies with honey since then."
"Trap…flies with honey?" Zha queried, perplexed.
"Right, idioms…basically they were more cooperative the more courteously we treated them. Eventually it became a game to stave off boredom. They saw where humanity was lacking or lagging behind technologically, Klarb took it as a challenge with the limited resources at his disposal. We'll be here all night if I name off every invention attributed to his work in some form or another. Ask him what he thought of vacuum tubes if you want to get him going."
"Well from what Graak said there was probing involved and that sounds very…" Vaukt shuddered. "One of your men around here mentioned Kregg is a royal pain in the ass. What's his deal? Is he the resident troublemaker or something?"
"No deal. Bit of a smartass sometimes, but dependable. Can't fault your military in that regard. No, Kregg is…" The human paused, searching for the words with a gesture of his hand. "...I suppose he's what you'd call a xenophile. Notoriously so around here."
"A xenoph-...with your people?" Zha queried, morbidly curious as she was disgusted.
"Well, this is the first time I've personally seen any females of your species and none of them were keen on doing any of that with each other." Adams reasoned with a chuckle. "I'm sure you two have been here long enough to get a good impression of how…eccentric humans can be. Very individualistic species compared to yours. Kregg's gone native and despite being green as grass, he may as well bleed red like us. Individualism breeds a great deal of strange behaviors…such as garnering a fetish for human women…or even the other way around once rumors spread to new research staff. I used to defend it in the name of science. We all know better now."
Vaukt could only facepalm and shake his head after hearing that. "If anything, Zha, I think that just lends credence that they'd want to keep this going instead of letting the Empire come and run all over their good time. Doubt they want to go run back to the Empire now, especially him. If Klarb has his god complex, he probably enjoys being the man in the high castle of knowledge around here, doubt he wants to give that up either. Leaves Graak and Burdak."
"Wouldn't worry about me," Graak himself answered as he slowed from a run. "You were talking about not wanting to go back to the Empire, right?"
"How'd you guess?"
"Now that I'm in some better light I can see you got the Imperial insignia crossed out on your armor. Gotta be good reason for that. Wouldn't much worry about Burdak either."
"Really? Why?"
Graak scratched the back of his head, "I'd rather let him tell it, if he wants to."
Zha's head tilted to the door beside them to the conference room.
"Kazak's debriefing Klarb and Kregg as we speak. We have additional sources of intel to share if need be. The short of it? The Empire is on the verge of total civil war after Supreme Commander Grimm staged a coup with the aid of High Marshal Xilch of Internal Affairs. Arrested the Tallest, intended to execute them. They're here with us now to complicate matters for Grimm. Honestly, Earth is probably the safest place in the galaxy right now with what is brewing back home."
"I take it this Grimm and Xilch are other chiefs of staff in your hierarchy?" Agent Adams inquired. "All of you seem to know these names. I'm going to assume due to your lifespans that this is common?"
"Civil wars? No. Assassinations to get into power? Now I'm even led to question if it was rare." Vaukt shrugged, "But you're correct. Grimm was previously Supreme Commander and head of the Imperial Elite. A position he once shared with Red and Purple there. The Triumvirate period was an interesting one… and Xilch is…Internal Affairs is basically the CIA, FBI, ATF, and all local and military law enforcement rolled into a single government agency."
"Awful lot of power to wield by one branch. This outcome seems unsurprising to me." Adams concluded.
"To a species such as yours, yes, I would agree." Zha concurred. "However, we Irken, until recently, lacked the capability of independent thought or free will with our PAKs part of a monitoring system. Some of us still don't. Those are the ones that remain loyal to the Empire. Internal Affairs' prime directive was to uphold the Imperial Standard, the "law" as you would call it. Every Irken, soldier and drone alike, would fulfill the Imperial Standard or be labeled defective."
"Defective meaning…? Undesirable? Unwanted?"
"Essentially." The former High Marshal answered. "The Imperial Standard is the "perfect" mold to which an Irken should be modeled from. If the Irken does not fit the mold, they are defective and their fate will be decided by Internal Affairs depending on the severity of the infraction."
"The system calls you undesirable as a defective. You're dangerous, unpredictable, unable to be controlled by the Control Brains even. You're a danger, a threat to the system. You either get sentenced to death or menial labor for life like a janitor on a landfill world like Dirt or a food service worker on Foodcourtia." Graak added," Xilch is basically the kind of bitch who decides whether you lived or died if you lived up to the standard or not. Burdak's actually lucky. I will say he's even alive in the first place thanks to Klarb."
"Judge, jury, and executioner with real-time monitoring and thought-crime prosecution…keep that shit away from my handlers. Please. Prefer not to give the criminally retarded any further ideas or cartoonish agendas to pursue."
"Yeah, with what I've seen your politicians do? Trust me, I have no intention of giving them that sort of visit from the good idea fairy any time soon." Graak huffed
"Burdak's lucky?" Vaukt turned to look at him with the question. "What did he do?"
"Not what he did, who he was, in this case. Turns out his hormonal controls were just inoperative in his PAK. Happened at the production level, literally nothing he could do about it. Klarb saved him since he was a capable research assistant and it was an extremely rare opportunity to take a look at Irken biology that he never saw before. Of course he'd take it. Helped with the rest of us, actually. Didn't have any guess work when we all got our non-essential PAK functions turned off."
Graak glanced at Adams, "That's one example of a defective for you right there. Burdak as he was found ages ago in Appalachia."
Zha blinked, brow furrowing in confusion.
"I…thought you said all of them were found in this…Roswell place. What is Appalachia?"
"Myself, Klarb, and Kregg were, yeah. Burdak was the sole survivor of his group." Graak paused to pull out a phone and pulled up the mountainous part of Georgia to show Zha. "That's where he landed."
"So you all didn't crash-land in the same location then?" She reasoned at the information presented. "Quite the vast distance between the two across this continent."
"Klarb and the others can give you more details on it." Adams explained. "Catastrophic failure of their vessel resulted in it breaking up in atmosphere on a descent path across the country. Burdak's lifepod ended up there, the others in Roswell. Didn't take long to link the two together once he was found."
A loud crash came from the conference room. The apparent sound of Klarb's fists slamming the table. "THAT SON OF A BITCH GRIMM DID WHAT?!"
Vaukt looked at Zha, "I think that's our cue…you all right?"
She swallowed, looking at him with a shaky nod.
"I will be, yeah. This is bigger than us. Bigger than me. I'll manage."
"Just give my hand a squeeze if you need to." Vaukt gave her another kiss on the cheek before heading back into the room. Klarb's attention immediately focused on him.
"You know you should've killed that bastard when you had the chance, yeah?"
"Don't remind me," Vaukt huffed as he took his seat with a fresh cup of coffee for himself. "Pretty sure he told you about the threatened orbital bombardment? Yeah, every ounce of my being wanted to put a plasma bolt in his head right there on the bridge in front of everyone, but that would've blown everything instantly. Discretion is the better part of valor."
"Can't fault the logic, but it doesn't make it any less bitter of a pill to swallow." Kregg scoffed in disbelief. "Always had a feeling about him, even back then. Nice to see my paranoia was justified. Conniving scum fuck."
"In short, that is why all of us are on Earth now. Those two are labeled traitors…I…abandoned my post. These two morons drawing breath still are the only thing causing complications for Grimm's illegitimate rule…but I fear Xilch may be circumventing that." Tak concluded with contempt.
"Three traitors," Kazak added. "By now my boss and his team's absence has likely been noticed so we're all frying in the same proverbial pan." A sigh followed, "Yeah, yeah, I've got a pretty strong hunch that Grimm got to Xilch and is now using her as his cudgel to get his way. The Empire being what it is…she's the Empire's Warmaster now. So now she has whatever's left of SpecOps, the Elite, and Troopers to her credit and I'm sure she still keeps close ties on IIA being its most recent leader."
The sniper wasn't usually one for talking, that much Tak was right about. This was a different case. "Our military is mostly SpecOps. High Command is here, and we don't have a military to speak of. Our allies so far are the Vortians, Vylatians, and Orenk is probably the one rebel world now under our control but the Empire will be likely to send a force there, so who knows how long that's going to last. The long and short of it is that unless this changes rapidly, we're up shit creek without a paddle."
"You know, you could always settle here." Kregg spoke, "I mean, the Empire won't come here, right? Backwater world of no value? Besides, it would be nice to have a couple of cute ladies around for a change."
Kazak's silver eyes narrowed at the golden eyed male with the possible insinuations he was making about Tak. Vaukt quietly sipped his coffee, the General had quite the strong poker face if there ever was one.
"It won't last forever, they'll come eventually. Even if part of me would prefer to stay here now that I found something I'm actually good at outside of being a soldier. Fits my reclusive personality…but I swore to Vult I'd see this through to the end."
"We came to Earth to establish a fallback point in the event anyone is compromised and requires a safe haven." Tak reasoned, doing her best to mask her own displeasure at the insinuations. "It is inevitable that the Empire will come here in force. Perhaps not today. Perhaps not tomorrow, but an eventuality."
"Which is where my people come in at." Agent Adams spoke up at their exchange, garnering their attention. "I haven't seen what conventional warfare with your species looks like but I've seen enough of your technology to know we wouldn't stand a chance conventionally no matter how much the politicians want to posture and pound their chests for the cameras. No different than using guided missiles on cavemen for context to our people."
"Is that why your people are using reverse-engineered, bastardized versions of our equipment and technology?" Zha pointededly queried, intentionally looking to Klarb as she spoke.
"Hey, don't look at me. The mass drivers have been entirely them." Klarb put his hands up.
"Column A, Column B." Adams admitted. "We proofed the concept on naval vessels-"
"Starships?"
"...conventional. Blue water. Boats. Ran into several limiting factors of power draw, wear, and making the tech man-portable…and prohibitively expensive, of course."
"You're welcome…" Klarb muttered under his breath.
"The humans took our rail rifles after we landed. Tore them apart, wanted to see how they worked." Graak continued from where Klarb was. "They ask Kregg and I about them because we used them. Those clunky AR carbines and German SMGs you saw overnight were field test prototypes. They ended up looking more like the OICW in practice when they finally got the tech downsized and combined with a grenade launcher."
"If it makes you feel any better, they're centuries away from plasma-based weaponry. They haven't even figured out fusion yet. Their direct energy weaponry is pathetic. Oversized flashlights."
"HA! Even our laser weapons that are in some limited use were more effective than that." Kazak leaned back in his chair, "That's just swell. Plasma's our standard issue these days courtesy of the deal we had with the Vortians."
"Wait, really? Plasma's the standard now?" Graak blinked, "They were still in the prototype phase when we set off years ago."
"...plasma…as in what the sun is made of?" Adams queried, equally surprised as he was in disbelief.
"As in what a star is made of, yes. Ionized gas. Magnetic field- why am I tell you this, you don't know what it is!" Klarb scoffed. "Doesn't matter, we've hit your technological limits until you idiots stop drinking fossil fuels like it's going out of style. Split the atom, figured out nuclear fission, and still pollute your atmosphere because of politics and money. Incredible."
"You guys think these two are smoothbrains?" Graak gestured to Red and Purple.
"Yes," Kazak quickly answered.
"Without a fucking doubt," Vaukt was quick to add on.
"Take that, twist the knob twice past ten and break it off and you get human politicians."
"I don't believe you." Tak challenged. "There is no way they are that stupid compared these two."
"Sitting right here, you know…" Red muttered, sighing.
Graak was quick to pull up an 'anti-inflation bill' in Congress on his phone and slide it over to Tak for inspection. It didn't do any of that. It printed 300 billion more dollars and added yet more government employees among other special interest items.
Adams cleared his throat. "...to be fair…some of that ends up in our budget. Easier to hide the money in plain sight and have fewer questions asked when it's typical government incompetence…but yes, most of them are short-sighted and self-serving…sounds like something your people are about to be opened up to depending on the outcome of this conflict."
Vaukt sighed, "And this sort of idiocy is why I personally tend to lean towards autocracy… Keep self-serving idiots like that from looting the treasury and destroying the government, that sort of thing."
"I mean, if it were up to me, I'm liking that route Calla and the guys who were living on Devastis before it became that were doing, go far enough away and stay off the grid, live frugally, just ignore them." Kazak shrugged, thinking back to the way he's been living lately.
"The side that wants to be left alone is always going to lose to the side that wants to win, Kaz." Vaukt replied, sipping his coffee after.
"Anyone that wants to live to see a post-Empire universe isn't sitting anything out." Tak clarified, running her hands down her face in exasperation. "...so what becomes of all this now? Relieved as I am to know more of us are here, that doesn't change facts."
"Indeed." Zha concurred, looking to the human agent. "Despite our best efforts to avoid it, the Empire sending some manner of force in response is inevitable so long as any of us remain here…and you clearly benefit from Klarb's work. I take it none of them want to leave?"
"Their compliance hasn't been a factor." Adams commented, half-serious.
"Hey, up yours, you hairless ape." Klarb sneered. "Your people should be worshiping me as a god for what I've done for you! Why the fuck would I go back to Irk to be treated like any other tech drone?"
"So you would remain regardless if we forced you to advance our technology?"
"Yes, "force", whatever makes you feel better, big man."
"Not like we can even leave." Kregg threw his hands up. "You seen their space technology? Not like we can steal their proposed modification of the Saturn to get out of here."
"Even then that'd only get us as far as Venus, wise guy. Still wouldn't get us out of the system." Klarb chided him, "Not like you'd want to leave either, nasty boy."
Tak, carefully considering the weight of her words, looked to Kazak. Her expression unspoken uncertainty, but a possible change of stratagem with the current topic of discussion. She cleared her throat, taking initiative.
"...we have multiple starships of different classes currently planetside. How else would we have arrived?"
"...fair point…what models are they?" Klarb pursued, attention undivided now. "Because if it's the same one we were issued, you can fly that junkpile straight into the sun."
"And what did you have?" Vaukt pointedly asked.
"Tunduu-class Destroyer Escorts."
"Tunduus?!" Vaukt was shocked, "Those things belonged in a museum of the wonderful world of corrosion!"
"Yeah, no shit, that's why they gave those to us in the Exploration Corps."
Kazak shook his head. "Well…we have a light cruiser bordering a destroyer that the Generalissimo came in on, a Vortian long range stealth shuttle, and Tak's own customized single man Invader craft." He rubbed his chin in thought. "The light cruiser is probably the only serious interstellar combat capable craft we have, might make that too valuable to toss aside right now, especially since we're stuck relying on the Vortians for replacements. Our team is on our second stealth shuttle and I don't think the Vortians are going to give us another if we wreck it."
A pause from the sniper followed as he mulled things over further, looking to Tak, "Also have a good number of shuttles on the why though? What are you thinking?"
The not-Invader looked to Agent Adams briefly before answering, considering her words carefully.
"You're facing technological limitations here on Earth, are you not?" She began, referring to the "leaps and bounds" of advancement Klarb likely originated in the past several decades. "The human-"
"Adams. Agent Adams. I have a name. I don't call you disgusting bug men, use it."
"...Adams is more than informed at the brevity of the situation. Intergalactic war is brewing light years away and it will come to Earth so long as any of us remain. His people have two options: to see their brilliant mind disappear forever into the cosmos-"
"Or sharing your technology to be reverse-engineered entirely so we may replicate it." The human agent summarized, completing her thought. "Advanced civilizations don't offer such things without expectations in return. What's your angle?"
"Earth and its people will aid in our cause. Stand against the Empire. Resources, weapons, munitions, manpower, doesn't matter. Our technology will uplift those of you in-the-know and stand ready against the universe at-large. You know of the Irken and our Empire. You know what it is capable of…now consider what we don't know is out there for a moment."
"Think there's something worse or stronger?" Adams queried, genuinely interested in her proposal thus far.
"No thinking about it. Matter of probability. The Vortian Federation believed themselves to be the apex species of the universe until we crossed paths a few short centuries ago. It's happened countless times throughout time and will continue to do so. Would you prefer the known evil or the unknown terror beyond your comprehension?"
"There's a species that came before the Vortians as it was. Their own technology is heavily derived from theirs that was left behind that they just…found." Kazak added as he knocked on his own muscle suit. "There's also the Jakriks, another interstellar empire in competition with our own. Angry lizards who would be more than happy to enslave humans and take your planet for all its resources. The Irken declared war on them which-"
"Which came to a grinding halt on their homeworld as soon as Zha was arrested and I had to leave." Vaukt completed Kazak's sentence. "Space is an incredibly hostile place."
"To put it simply, yes." Tak concurred, looking back to Adams. "What information I've gathered of your peoples' history has made you more than aware of this. Borders are formed. Nations are born. Competition for resources, differences of ideology, and the ingrained need to build a legacy see empires rise and fall in a never-ending cycle…now imagine entire planets of people doing so. Trillions of people unified in a singular cause with one goal in mind: domination."
"Survival of the fittest en masse." Adams summarized with mild bemusement. "My handlers would rather see all of you executed and your bodies incinerated before letting Klarb and his men walk…but telling them we're signing up for fuckin' Star Wars is a hard sell in exchange for this."
"Perhaps, but look at it this way…" The former High Marshal began, garnering the agent's attention. "Prior to my arrival to this world, I was the highest-ranking officer of the Empire's Imperial Troopers. Legions of men and women stretching to the horizons as far as the eye could see with a singular goal: The subjugation or extermination of lesser species…and your people are that lesser species, Agent."
Klarb grinned as he watched the proverbial gears turn in the human's head.
"You get me the tech and equipment, I'll have your people making day trips to Pluto and back by the end of the year. Shit, you get me fusion power and we might even start exosolar colonization since you vermin breed like rats."
"Says the cloned descendant of actual insects."
"Eat me."
"The first thing this mad son of a bitch is gonna dig out of whatever ship we get is going to be its fusion reactor and power cell." Graak grinned.
"No more 'Fusion is only thirty years away' anymore." Kazak smirked, noticing an interesting trend in humans. "Plus you guys have that patsy that runs SpaceX and Tesla in your pocket, right?"
"Something of that nature, yes…no, this would be proper blacksite operations." He reasoned, stroking his chin in contemplation. "Assuming all of you have done your homework and keep up with current events, this planet and its people aren't exactly what I'd call unified. Hell, my own government has shitheels within it that'd want to exploit this just to use against our rivals."
"All the more reason to exercise discretion. What this dung heap and its writhing mass of worms does after the Empire falls is none of my concern. Nuke yourselves into extinction for all I care." Tak waved dismissively. "Until then, the potential to advance your civilization and get first-hand experience at warfare unlike anything humanity has ever experienced before will have to tide you over."
"Near-infinite as the fiat reserves may be, we can't exactly pull a spaceflight-capable fighting force out of our collective ass." The human agent commented.
"None here expect you to." Zha added. "It will be years before infrastructure to support such works will even be feasible, assuming you sort your own internal strife out. Our allies and the coalition we've formed require industry and resources more than soldiers from the likes of humanity. This world is rich with minerals and your people are industrialized. Klarb will have his technology and your people will stand to benefit from it. Perhaps even join us as equals in the future. Until then, your labor and resources are enough."
"A token force of expeditionary forces won't be refused, either." Tak concluded.
"I suspect your Men in Black aren't quite as fake as the movies I've heard about now that I've seen all this." Kazak smirked, "Plus your planet has something of a low profile being six months out of known Imperial space. Helps you as it helps us."
"I'm just looking forward to getting proper technology again! Oh how I missed it!" Klarb was especially giddy at the prospects.
"See? Already got him excited." Graak sipped on a cup of coffee.
"I think we could spare a number of shuttles from the General's cruiser for that. Three of them, perhaps," Kazak mused.
"Three?" Klarb's eyes went wide.
"Mhm."
"Fuuuuuck." Klarb grinned, looking at Adams, "I'll show all of you what real power looks like."
"Bet he's giddy in more ways than one," Kregg chimed in.
"Eat me."
"Don't threaten me with a good time, Doc."
"Nasty, you're always nasty, Kregg."
The singular human present did not immediately speak amidst their banter. A moment's consideration followed before he moved to take his leave.
"I have some calls to make."
Vaukt sipped his coffee. "This should be interesting."
"All we can do is wait, right?" Kazak shrugged, "Rather out of our hands as it was."
"At best, we will have gained an ally and their resources." The purple-eyed female observed casually.
"And at worst?" Zha queried, curious.
"7 billion meat shields to absorb Imperial fire and clog the barrels of their weapons with their dead."
"Pragmatic. Morbid, but pragmatic. I like you."
"I liked her especially when I saw how the Control Brains did her dirty," Vaukt smiled. "She and Skrem were my two personal favorites I was rooting for with the selection course for Invaders."