Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

There are lots of fics where Naruto gets random abilities from another universe and becomes super edgy-I mean, uh, cool. So instead... Crossover with other things that Naruto tries to use in ninja battles.

When Team Gaara meets Team 7...

Gaara: "I apologize for my teammates..."

Naruto: "Bet you want to know my name!"

Gaara: "I couldn't care less."

Naruto: "Ohhhh! I know you didn't just say what I heard you say!"

Konohamaru: "Yeah! Damn, you're gonna get served!"

Sasuke just sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

A few Naruto clones show up in hip hop dance gear, with a boombox. One of the clones starts up the boombox.

A troupe of Narutos, lead by the real Naruto, break and hip hop dance at the increasingly confused Sand Ninjas.

Naruto finishes with a spin on his head, and a handstand, before he flips back onto his feet.

Narutos: "SERVED! SERVED! SERVED!"

Naruto: "Yeah boyyyeeee! You just got served! Ain't got nothin' on me!"

Gaara: "... Served?"

Sasuke: "He means he's better at dancing than you."

Kankuro: "We're not scared of some nutcase dancing at us!"

Naruto: "See you in the Chuunin Exams! Unless you're... Scared?"

Naruto and company head off, with Sasuke who is looking very tired.

Temari: "Gaara? You... All right?"

Gaara: eyes narrow "... Nobody serves Gaara of the Sand... And lives."

Kankuro: "Oh boy..."

Alternatively... In Ninja Academy... Naruto comes across a guide on how to become an Assassins' Creed type assassin.

Naruto: "I've got a hood over my face. Nobody can tell it's me!"

Sasuke: "We can all tell it's you, dumbass."

Later... Naruto tries to leap into a haybale from the top of the Ninja Academy.

Naruto: "LEAP OF FAITH!"

Iruka: spits out his coffee "OH GOD!"

Iruka runs and leaps up to catch the five year old Naruto before he slams into the ground.

Naruto: "Aw man! Iruka-sensei, I missed the haybale!"

Iruka: groans

Naruto: "I bet I'd have landed if I had my Eagle Vision! How do I get that, anyway?"

Iruka: further groans

Or if Naruto had the power of immortality... Via Kenny McCormick from South Park.

Naruto: None of you remember anything that's happened to me, do you?

Sasuke: What are you talking about, dobe?

Naruto: What am I talking about?! Let's start with the fact that since we've become a team, I've died at least a dozen times in front of you, only to come back to life! Yet none of you seem to remember any of it!

Sakura: What are you talking about, Naruto? None of that ever happened.

Naruto: Really, you don't remember the time Zabuza's sword cut me in half, or when that ice ninja froze me alive and shattered my body, or when that crazy snake lady stabbed me in the neck with a kunai to taste my blood, or when I died multiple times in the Forest of Death, only to be alive when we reached the building where we fought the other teams?! Or how about all those times that damned demon cat mauled me to death?! None of this is ringing a bell?!

Saduke: Stop trying to get attention, you idiot. It's pathetic.

Naruto: Aggghhhhhh, fine you asked for it!

(Naruto takes out a kunai and points it to his neck)

Kakashi/Sakura: Naruto, NOOO!

Sasuke: Do it.

(Naruro slices his neck before they can stop him)

(Later at the training grounds Naruto shows up to meet the team, who don't remember him dying)

Kakashi/Sakura/Sasuke: Hey, Naruto. Where were you?

Naruto: Kami dammit!

Just a bit of fun...