Sealkeeper: He Who Binds
Chapter 156: "Garnish"
Patron Release 2022.04.05
Juugo's mission was, for all intents and purposes, an officially sanctioned long-term assignment of Otogakure. Well, as formal and official as anything in Otogakure was. What that should have meant was regular updates on his progress and current status being sent back to someone over the many months he had spent in Yu no Kuni pursuing their locomotive technology.
Then again, this was Otogakure. As already said, they really didn't handle things like that. Not that Orochimaru wouldn't prefer it that way, he just hadn't cared to try fixing things or delaying his rapid Shinobi academy– when one went through staff as Orochiaru did, there was a constant need for ready replacements and the Snake Sannin wasn't exactly known for his patience –to add the additional training in the systems and methods he wanted employed by them.
Generally, those who survived long enough to figure out his preferences tended to be the ones who ended up in supervisory roles where they were less likely to end up dead and, much more importantly, would be there to see that he received the information he required in a manner he could accept.
What did he care how the lesser Shinobi reported events so long as it was accurate and well organized by the time he got his hands on it? Sorting it all out was his overseer's prob-...responsibility. They were free to require what they wished from their subordinates, Orochimaru couldn't possibly care less.
Overseer Jirobo was a newer Overseer. Unexperienced, one might say, but he was competent. That said, he had absolutely no control over Juugo and the origin of Orochimaru's cursed seals had been less than cooperative with his reports. The few Jirobo did receive tended to only be a few sentences long and didn't provide anything of substance that the Overseer could use to prove to Orochimaru that progress towards the project's goals was being made.
All it really did was confirmed that Juugo had been alive. Well, it showed that he was probably alive. It could have always been someone else writing those useless little…letters, Jirobo supposed. He couldn't rightly call them reports or the others might start getting ideas.
A lesser Overseer might assume that the reports also confirmed that their agent was continuing towards their objective too, figuring any agent who had decided to abandon Otogakure– or Orochimaru, as there were times the two actually were mutually exclusive, though it was decidedly rare –wouldn't bother to continue reporting in but anyone Jirobo wanted working under hm would be at least intelligent enough to keep pretending to be working at their objective for as long as they could to buy time and set themselves up to properly disappear, so he would never make such a foolish assumption.
That was, after all, exactly what Jirobo planned to do should he manage to earn Orochimaru's displeasure. He already had a fake trail for a fictional artifact that he would personally be investigating to ensure retrieval, should he need an excuse to get out of the base he was currently set up in and shield himself from immediate suspicion.
Hopefully things wouldn't come to that but he wasn't willing to take that sort of chance with his life. There were worse things than dying, after all, especially when one dealt with the likes of Orochimaru. Inexperienced he may be, Jirobo was no fool.
There was, after all, a reason he had managed to become an Overseer.
Well, mostly because he had led the retrieval of Uchiha Sasuke but he had taken steps to ensure that too. No one ever expected the muscle to be scheming, something that had served him exceptionally well throughout the various underground compounds that made up Otogakure over the years.
Most fortunately for Otogakure's newest Overseer– by some miracle none of the others had shown up dead since, so there hadn't been any recent openings. –Juugo hadn't been doing that, the young man simply didn't care for paperwork and considered reports to be similar enough to avoid it for the most part.
Juugo also wasn't exactly the most skilled communicator, so Jirobo hadn't been all that surprised by long periods of silence between largely inconsequential messages. Juugo himself probably didn't realize he had such an issue, though Kari would be sure to point that out the next time he saw her.
Even better than Juugo not running off, he had actually managed to complete his mission and had gone above and beyond Jirobo's greatest expectations. Not only had he retrieved the plans for the trains but he'd also brought one of them back with him– either of those alone would have more than satisfied his assignment – and had managed to obtain the knowledge to operate, maintain, and even build them himself if he was understanding things properly.
Their not-quite a shinobi– not formally, anyway, but that was Otogakure's charm. Sometimes. –had even brought back information and first-hand experience with the tracks that were necessary to utilize the massive device, something Jirobo himsel had completely overlooked when he'd first assigned Juugo the task. That fact wouldn't be making it into his own report, but he would be securing a suitable stock of material so he could include that in it. Written properly, it would look like he had both anticipated and taken the proper steps to prepare for it. That should maintain a bit of breathing room for his projects, something he was in dire need of considering all of their trails had gone completely cold or the resulting relics had been absolutely worthless.
For Tsukuyomi;s gifts, anyway. Fortunately Orochimaru himself still had use for those relics in some sort of experiment he was conducting. Jirobo could probably get some information by claiming he could use it to better choose which relics- or rumors of relics, as it usually was –should be prioritized but honestly he didn't even want to ask.
Whatever Orochimaru was trying with supposedly defunct items was probably not the sort of thing conducive to him getting restful sleep each night. He was better off not knowing.
It had been more than a little risky to utilize Juugo for this assignment, that had been something he was well aware of when he went to the Snake Sage for permission to release Juugo in the first place, but it appeared to have paid off quite nicely.
What he absolutely couldn't have counted on, however, was the fact that Juugo had somehow met up with Wolves and they had already decided they would be escorting him– and his prize– to Nami no Kuni to present it to their Daimyo. That solidly removed the choice from Jirobo's hands and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.
On one hand, that meant it was more or less taken care of from here on out. Whatever happened was the business of the Wolves so he didn't have to worry too much. On the other, he would have liked to have the chance to improve the engine Juugo had…acquired…and familiarize both himself and his team with an actual functioning example before shipping it off.
They would just have to settle for following the plans, making sure it works, and then making improvements in their own time.
Then again, that could serve as a second gift so perhaps it was better this way. If his luck searching for other gifts maintained its current heading he would want something in reserve when Orochimaru inevitably started asking questions about why he hasn't heard about his beloved prince receiving anything new.
Yes, this should do nicely. It would take longer but until he heard back from his other agents in the field– agents much more inclined to keep in contact with him than Juugo had proven to be –he had plenty of time to spare.
It also didn't really matter if it worked for him or not, the Wolves were taking Juugo and the train- end of story. There was no arguing against that. The wolves had decided something for Tsukuyomi and Jirobo wasn't going to stand between them and their goal. Not Only would he have them at his throat for trying but, supposing he survived, he'd then have to deal with a very displeased Orochimaru and that wasn't even taking into account what Tsukuyomi might do. Oh, no, he would be making sure to do what he could to facilitate this.
He was just really lucky it fell into place so well for him.
All he really needed to do was write up a report and send it off to Orochimaru, to arrive before they did. So long as that happened he was golden. Really, it was incredibly simple on his end- just the way he liked it.
Of course, his luck couldn"t hold up this well without something else making itself known.
"We'll also need to send word to Tsukuyomi that Iwa is up to something. There was a lot of movement between Kawa and Taki no Kuni." Akunaki spoke up, bringing the matter to Jirobo's attention almost negligently– like it really wasn't all that big of a deal that one of the world's superpowers was up to something nearby. It's not like all the other times one of them started moving their Shinobi in large numbers it had broken out into massive conflicts or anything. "We helped Taki with a group we had encountered." She paused, considering her ording. "Well, we were nearby while they handled it. We alerted them to their presence and then drove off Kisame after they had handled the Iwa issue."
And that, right there, was the main issue Jirobo had with the Wolves.
They simply got into far too much trouble for his tastes.
In cases like this he was going to have to play a part in cleaning that mess up, too, he was sure.
Lovely.
At least they had the train.
Just because she understood that the desert wasn't some giant beach didn't mean Kurotsuchi wouldn't attempt to utilize it as one. Sure, it was missing the smell of the sea and the scant breeze was better described as sweltering than pleasantly warm but she did her best to make the trip comfortable. It was the closest thing she would be getting to an out of village vacation for quite a long time and, really, she'd never had one of those before this assignment either.
She'd be having one, damnit, if only during the trip itself. There was no point stressing out over the rest of the details until they really started getting down to business here in Kaze no Kuni. That would be her argument, anyway, if anyone thought to speak up about her current seating arrangement. Not that anyone in Iwa's Southern forces was about to, she was the granddaughter of the Tsuchikage and the assumed successor of that title when the old man finally gave up his hat.
That the majority of them were currently sleeping away the evening sun helped too.
Lounging on bolts of fabric she'd transformed into a makeshift chair, Kurotsuchi took a sip of her drink as she enjoyed the setting sun. She'd never dare do this during the height of the day, when the spiteful sun glared down at the seas of sand but Kurotsuchi had found that the early mornings were quite pleasant and the late evenings weren't too bad either. This would be the last one she could experience before they were too close to Sunagakure to risk being seen by Konoha or her proxies so she intended to fully enjoy the opportunity.
Allowing the much more bearable breeze of the evening to play across her shirtless torso she adjusted the balled up shirt she had turned into a temporary pillow and took another sip.
It wasn't perfect but she would have to make do.
She would have liked something to garnish her drink, though. It just seemed lacking without some fruit or maybe a tiny umbrella.
What a shame.
While ANBU were traditionally assigned– or sometimes created their own –teams and worked under a captain, it was exceedingly rare for a full team to be assigned to a single mission. In fact, Yugao's team being given orders for a mission that technically didn't exist was the first time Konoha had done so in nearly a decade. Even then, the whole team wasn't there for long as Yugao had pulled back to keep too many suspicions from rising.
Officially, their actions in Mizu no Kuni supporting Mei and the Bloodline faction were in the books as four separate missions that very purposefully had the ANBU as far away from their actual location as conceivably possible. Considering those missions were entirely fabricated, the records showed them very far indeed.
It was for that reason that the same team now stood before the Hokage's desk giving each other curious looks from the corners of their eyes. Most curious was the fact that Yugao herself was present and, just like her team, she had no idea why she had been called to appear before their Hokage.
Technically as the ANBU commander Yugao wasn't supposed to have a team but she'd been their captain since before her promotion and, official or not, they had remained with her.
"Thank you all for coming," the Hokage started, addressing the summoned ANBU operatives. "I know a few of you just pulled some long shifts-" He nodded first to Buta and then to Hioki. "-and others have just returned from other assignments but an important matter has been brought to my attention and I need you to keep a careful eye on it."
"The whole team, Hokage-Sama?" Souji asked. "That's an awful lot of manpower for a single assignment."
"Like I said, this is a very important matter." He was right, though. 'Yugao's' team did make up a large part of the ANBU force. With them out on this assignment he was going to be rather restricted in what he could use the other ANBU operatives towards. That sort of defeated the whole point of the ANBU, really, considering it was the Hokage's personal task force for when action– oftentimes that of an unsavory sort –needed to be taken care of immediately by skilled, trustworthy individuals.
At least he didn't have to use ANBU for running messages to Konoha's forces in Kaze no Kuni anymore, that would free up a couple more.
"As you may be aware," The Godaime continued. "Konoha was recently visited by the fire Daimyo." He paused for a second. "He has some concerns."
"Concerns?" Yugao asked, brow rising. "Is it about Kaze no Kuni?"
"No, not at all. While he has often been seen here in Konoha despite his recent departure, it has come to the attention of the Daimyo that…" He had to decide which name to use on this, eventually settling for the less personal one for a hint of detachment. "Tsukuyomi, well, no one actually knows where he is these days."
"How is that a problem?" Hioki asked, folding her arms. "I thought the whole point of pushing him and the Wolves from Konoha was so you didn't have to keep an eye on what he was doing in your village."
"It was, primarily, to keep those actions from drawing trouble our way." Was Asuma's response. "However, now that we are not keeping a direct eye on him the fire Daimyo has begun to worry that Tsukuyomi may repeat his actions in Mizu no Kuni. Understandably, he'd like to know that we have an eye on Tsukuyomi so that we have some forewarning to prepare for any fallout from his actions."
"You want us to spy on Tsukuyomi." Souji stated plainly.
"The Daimyo would like someone to keep an eye on him." Asuma deflected. It wasn't necessarily untrue, considering he hadn't even considered Naruto's absence until Iroh had brought up his concerns. "And seeing as we're currently helping Kirigakure rebuild their village…" He trailed off. "I can't exactly say I don't understand why he might be concerned about whatever trouble he may get into next."
"For myself," Added the Godaime before anyone else to comment something. "I would like to at least know where he is. There's no word of him returning to Nami no Kuni and we're pretty sure he's not here in Hi no Kuni which means there's a high likelihood hes not just minding his own business. Having some idea of where trouble may start brewing will allow me to better select what missions Konoha takes. If he's doing anything that involves anyone on good terms with Konoha I'll need to be prepared to…smooth things over, should something go wrong."
"And our team is the best for this?" Ikkan's voice made his doubt clear. "I would think others would be more suitibile considering our…history." It was still something the team felt guilty about, now that they knew it was Naruto heading those Wolves. They didn't care so much about his forces as they did about how harming them would hurt the young man.
"Your team is the best team I can choose for this mission because I know for a fact you wont be taking any actions that would cause the Wolves to become hostile to you."
"Like killing some of them? Because we've already done that." Buta added his own thoughts, Simple and direct, Buta was not a complicated man.
"And I'm sure they understand it was just a matter of business. Your team is familiar with Naruto so you're the best to find him."
"Familiar…because we killed his Wolves." Hioki repeated, as if her Hokage had simply missed that point being brought up and needed his attention drawn to it again.
"At least find him." Asuma sighed. "I can send someone else to keep an eye on him once we know where the hell he is and what he's up to. The last thing we need is him inciting a war with Iwa while our backs are turned."
"With all due respect, Hokage-Sama, what exactly are the chances of that happening?" Souji couldn't say he knew Naruto as well as someone like Kakashi but he thought he had a pretty good idea of the sort of person Naruto was. Picking fights with Iwagakure and Tsuchi no Kuni didn't sound like the sort of thing he would do.
"With anyone else? Practically zero. With him?" Asuma shook his head. "Much higher than I'm comfortable with."
"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, I still don't see why you would choose a full team."
"This is important enough for a full team." Asuma assured him. "And this team was chosen in particular due to its familiarity with Naruto." His gaze briefly flickered over to Yugao and Souji had to wonder if he had picked them solely on his captain's known relationship with the young Daimyo or if he somehow suspected the entire team of being sympathetic to the son of their beloved Yondaime.
Souji wasn't sure he wanted to know, though if it was truly the latter then this very well could have been an attempt to get Naruto's sympathizers out of Konoha for a time. Or perhaps it was a test of loyalty. He really couldn't say but he absolutely did not like it.
Souji glanced at Yugao from the corner of his eye and met her gaze. She must have been having the same thoughts, which meant he probably wasn't as off the mark as he may have hoped.
"I'm still not entirely sure that's the best choice, Hokage-sama." Hioki spoke up, hoping that if she put the entire picture together he might see reason. "We encountered the Wolves quite heavily on the Mizu no Kuni assignment and they will know us. Considering what occured on that mission…" She trailed off, not daring to give words to the reality of the situation but no one there needed to explain. This team already had history with the Wolves and it wasn't a friendly one. They would not be pleased to see them again attempting to keep tabs on their lord.
That was to say nothing of how Naruto himself might take it.
"I understand your concerns but I'm confident that the Wolves, for as vengeful as they can be, will understand that you were performing a mission for Konoha and that you were simply on seperate sides of a conflict. If anything, they would direct their ire to me, though I understand they directed it towards Kirigakure last time."
"If they didn't direct it as expected last time, who's to say they wont hold us accountable this time?" Was Yugao's counter. "It will be difficult keeping an eye on him, as you say, when we are fending of his most ardent supporters."
"I still believe he will take better to your team, a known quantity, than strangers." Asuma understood their hesitation considering the last mission but he also suspected that Naruto and his Wolves were more likely to respect worthy adversaries. Yugao and her team had taken down Wolves, true, but that had also proved their strength and let the Wolves know where they stood.
They may not trust them if they were discovered on this task, but they would understand.
One of the things Asuma was banking on was that rivalry-like kinship to see this mission through. "With few others available and none so familiar with the Wolves- or Naruto- as your own team. I believe this makes your team much more suited to finding him in the first place. As I've said, the main issue we face at the moment is finding out where he's gotten off to. If we have to, I can have others substitute with your team when he's found." He gave a nod towards Yugao at that, trying to convey his assurance that this was the right decision and that her team was at minimal risk of antagonizing the Wolves wit their presence or actions.
And, to be perfectly honest, Asuma didn't want to antagonize the WoLves. He didn't want anything to do with them. It was just unfortunate that they couldn't be trusted to keep out of trouble and both he and the Daimyo were now worried about the trouble they may get into if left to their own devices. Konoha's fate was far too entangled in the matters of these Wolves, something Asuma was loath to admit but couldn't deny.
Nothing would make him happier than for them to truly vanish off the face of the earth, never to be see again- except, perhaps, someone else taking the hat from him so he could be free of his unwanted position- but he had no delusions of his own luck. Fortune would not be smiling down on him with that boon- either of them, it would seem- anytime soon.
Yugao's team shared another look, plainly uncertain, but after a moment Souji nodded towards Yugao who, in turn, gave Asuma a nod. "While we still don't believe our team to be the best suited towards this task, Hokage-Sama, we will fulfill our assignment to the best of our abilities. Will this mission be on the records or off?."
Technically all ANBU missions were off the records but that only applied to the official records. THe Hokage had his own that would detail where his ANBU were and what they were up to for the purpose of logistics and pay. Those that were less sensitive- for ANBU anyway- would be kept. Those that were more sensitive, however, would be destroyed immediately. Only a record of the fact that they were not available would be kept so the Hokage could tell at a glance who was available for anything else that might come up.
"On the records." He answered. "The Daimyo has asked for this specifically, so I'll have to be able to prove something is being done. I'll have the official mission written up within the hour with any details you may need. This is likely to be long term, so pack accordingly."
"Understood, Hokage-Sama." Yugao bowed slightly. "I'll be back in an hour to retrieve it, then." She turned to her team. THere was no real reason for her to give them instructions,- they would already know- but he did so anyway."You have forty-five minutes to be packed for three months and be ready at the south gate. Make sure your affairs are in order before we leave."
Not that there was really anything be done on that end. Hr team lived together in a home they had purchased outright and had neither plants nor pets for this exact reason. The nature of their work made it inconvenient to need to find someone to care for such. Yugao would need to see to her own apartment but as she paid her rent six months in advance there shouldn't be anything she needed to worry about, She would just have to double-check that she was paid up and see to ANBU matters.
Speaking of which…
"You are all dismissed." She gave them leave, which they took immediately, and then turned back to the Hokage. "What was your plan for overseeing the ANBU in my absence?" She asked, one brow rising. He was, after all, sending his current ANBU commander on this task.
Asuma paused for a moment, as if just realizing this, and a quiet curse escaped his lips. He had been too focused on those that knew Naruto well to think about other positions they held. After a few moments of thought he gave a nod, having come to a decision. "I'll see if I can get Tenzo to take over for the time being, he should be able to handle the responsibility."
"That sounds like an acceptable replacement," Yugao agreed. "But isn't he on a mission at the moment?."
Asuma pulled out his records, skimming briefly.
"Son of a bitch."
A moment more. "Fuck it." He met her eyes. "Have Kakashi sent over here, it's not like he's doing anything else at the moment."
"Kakashi?" He wasn't even an ANBU anymore, though he was certainly skilled enough to be and there was no one who was going to question his ability or authority to lead as ANBU commander even temporarily. Still…" Is that wise?"
The man was a well known supporter of Naruto, one whose loyalties rested undoubtedly with the young Daimyo, and he was also more than a little…off…from his time as a Shinobi. Shinobi were expected to be a bit unhinged, that was normal for their profession and went doubly so for Konoha's own forces- but Kakashi wook that to a whole new level.
Asuma was already concerned about Naruto starting a war somewhere, Yugao thought it was much more likely that Kakashi would use any sort of authority over the ANBU operatives to do the very same.
Between the two, her money rested on Kakashi.
"I'll be keeping a close eye on him.'' Asuma promised with a grimace. If he wasn't already so busy he would just oversee the whole damn thing by himself but he simply didn't have the time. "Its not like I have any other options."
"I could remain, Hokage-Sama." She suggested. "As you've said, my team is familiar with the Wolves. I'm sure they can manage without me." Technically her team was more familiar than she was with Naruto's forces, she was just more familiar with Naruto himself.
"I need you on that mission, YUgao." He overrode her suggestion. " And while Souji is capable he's not experienced enough to take over as commander for you either, even temporarily." He was her second, the one who would eventually be captain- technically, he was supposed to be but the team refused to accept anyone but Yugao as their captain despite her promotion to commander- and there was no reason he wouldn't be able to lead the team alone but this did tell Yugao why Asuma had chosen her team.
It wasn't because they were familiar with the Wolves, it was simply because he wanted Yugao there and she needed a team to assist her in this task. The Hokage was probably cpounting on her existing- though undoubtedly very much strained- relationship with Naruto to both find him and keep her team in a position to keep an eye on him. Maybe he even hoped Naruto would share any plans directly with her to keep them from having to guess.
Yugao very narrowly avoided snorting at the thought. After the last time he had shared something with her there was no chance of that happening ever again. A lesson learned through the lives of three of his children was not one he was so soon to forget.
"Of course, Hokage-sama. I'll send Kakashi here as soon as he can be found."
That assignment would go to someone else otherwise she would never make it to the gate in time for the mission. A soon as she passed it on it wouldn't be her problem anymore, either. As Asuma fought down another grimace she knew he had realized he same. Kakashi probably wouldn't show up for several days, possibly even a week.
Yugao couldn't bring herself to care, he had brought this on himself.
It served him right on going back on his wod and forcing her into a position that put her against her Kouhai.
If someone like Gai was capable of obtaining a mini-me and training them up in the accursed way of Youth, surely it should be a trivial matter for Kakashi to find a worthy apprentice to follow the path of Hipness. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the case at all. Despite Kakashi's best efforts a worthy initiate was nowhere to be found. Regular Genin were out- not only did he not have the ties to their Sensei necessary to steal them away but none of them were eye-catching enough in the first place- and what was left of the rookie twelve- which was more the rookie eight these days with Neji, Sasuke, Ino, and Hinata missing from them- were not showing acceptable mannerisms for him to work with.
Kakashi's wallet couldn't handle the barbeque bribes Chouji would require even to begin training in earnest, Shino was too forgettable for people to take proper notice of his presence, Shikamaru was lazy but not the right lazy- the boy avoided responsibility which just wasn't right. The hipness required one to accept great responsibility and then mindfully neglect it in favor of other, more Hip things- and Kiba was far too brash for the nonchalant attitude those of the truly Hip possessed. That could possibly be fixed with training but it would no doubt take a significant amount of invested time to overcome his nature- time Kakashi simply didn't have with the rising power of Youth he had to counter.
Realy, his best option was probably Gai's other student, Ten-somethingorother. She was rightfully disrturbed by the horrors of Youth already and was fairly level-headed– or, as level-headed as one could be after years of exposure to not one but two practitioners of Youth –the only issue being he already had to deal with one blade-obsessed student trying to cut up the remainder of his team– Sakura, if that was immediately clear –and he really didn't have the patience to deal with two of them.
There was also the risk that Sakura might infect Ten-whatshername with an obsession for blood, short skirts, and fishnet. That was hardly a bad thing, but it did lead to the same issue he had with Sakura–
Anko already had her claws in that one. She'd probably take Ten-Twelve from him too through Sakura, despite not even being around, and that would make any work he put into her for naught.
He didn't even bother considering Naruko, she was already disillusioned with him and his training methods. She would never take to the ways of the Hipness under his tutelage.
No Gennin then, fine, there were others.
Only there weren't. Not really.
The Crypto department was pretty lame, he could work with someone who wasn't quite hip but they were nearly as anti-hip as a practitioner of Youth and Kakashi didn't like starting off with a deficit of progress. KIT had some potential, or it would if it wasn't already the cult of Ibiki. The chance of dragging away one of those freaks was slim.
Speaking of cults, he had considered snatching a Hyuuga or two but they were already following whatever the hell Hinata was preaching on behalf of Naruto and Kakashi didn't want to interfere lest he cause trouble for Naruto which wouldn't do at all.
That pretty much left him with Izumo and Kotetsu. To be fair, not the worst choices. Hecould work with them….probably…and at least he wouldn't have to worry about losing them once trained because they were the Eternal Chuunin so the Hipness could never be fully vanquished. Plus, they would probably be willing.
Still, they would take a considerable amount of work due to the reputation they already had. Breaking that and reforming it as something Hip would be no small task.
Mulling over his options, Kakashi made sure to ignore the knock at his door as he sat cross-legged on his wall, facing one of his favorite paintings. He didn't have many guests here in his apartment but those who did visit always questioned why it had been hung sideways.
Kakashi made a point of never answering that.
There was another knock at the door, more forceful this time.
"No one's home." He called out. When the knocking ceased he briefly thought they might have fallen for his deception.
The knocking morphed into what could only be described as a pounding on his front door.
Beneath his ever-present mask, Kakashi frowned. Why didn't anyone ever believe him when he said that? One of these days someone would take his word for it. Picking himself up off his wall he dropped down to his floor gracefully and made his way to the front, cracking open the door just enough to peer out with his good eye.
"Didn't you hear me?" He glared at the Chuunin who had interrupted his contemplation before repeating his earlier statement. "No one's home."
Not unsurprisingly, the Chuunin believed it less this time than he did previously.
"Orders from Hokage-Sama." The chuunin offered blandly. "He needs the ANBU commander for something important and he's assigning you as the temporary replacement."
Kakashi scowled at the news. That sounded like more work to him. Being brought back into ANBU was one thing- he wouldn't have to worry about training a team of Gennin– but this just sounded like it was being dropped on his lap in addition to being the sensei of Team seven.
Not that he was actually doing that last one, but he was the Sensei on paper if nothing else. How dare that bastard give him actual work to do. The nerve of some people.
He needed to share the ways of Hipness, not worry about keeping track of ANBU. He was the sole practitioner at the moment and that was the only real responsibility the Hipness would allow.
….He was the only one. He used to be ANBU. He was temporarily going to be the ANBU commander. Gears started to turn in Kakashi's head. Maybe he had been looking in the wrong place. The ANBU were his sort of crazy- his sort of people. Maybe they were better equipped for adapting to the ways of the Hip just as he had done so long ago.
That had to be it, the answer was right there, and now he was being handed the means to put it into motion. "I accept."
"He wasn't asking, Kakashi." Not that it meant much to the man, the Chuunin was sure. With a sigh, he turned to leave only too happy to be done dealing with the man. "Go see Hokage-Sama about it." He paused before adding a very necessary; "Soon, Kakashi. Like, in the next twenty minutes."
He only saw the man wave him off from the corner of his vision. "I'll be there this afternoon," He assured the messenger. "I just need to pick up a dozen or so copies of the first few Icha-Icha first."
The Chuunin didn't bother to question it, he really didn't want to know, and while 'this afternoon' wasn't exactly 'in the next twenty minutes' it was probably the best he was going to manage, assuming he actually did show up this afternoon. EIther way, his part was done. All that was left was to report back to Hokage-Sama and then head home to relax.
Easiest d-Rank ever.
"Oh, shit, I'm going to need some more masks, too. I don't think I have enough spares."
Well, he would head home and try to relax, provided he didn't get distracted wondering what the hell Kakashi was up to.
The chances of that were slim.
Damnit.
While he would never admit it, Akatsuchi found himself more than a little surprised. They had already pushed into Hi no Kuni but they'd yet to encounter any Konoha patrols or Hi no Kuni Samurai and neither of the teams to split off earlier had caused any explosions yet.
Things were, in all honesty, going perhaps a bit too smoothly. Then again, perhaps any of the patrols they should have encountered had instead been drawn to Taki no Kuni to support allies and Akatsuchi's eastern forces were already known to their enemies. That was more likely than he was entirely comfortable with and he found himself wondering if Kurotsuchi was having similar doubts.
They both knew she had been given the easier front very much on purpose and he didn't begrudge her for it in the slightest but she was probably as suspicious of any good fortune as he was feeling. Hopefully it was just regular paranoia and not his instincts indicating something was wrong. It could be hard to tell sometimes and Kurotsuchi was less experienced than himself. He was sure she was probably stressing over the fact that nothing had happened yet.
With a satisfied sigh Kurotsuchi drained the last of her drink, negligently tossing the empty glass over her shoulder to land against the cooling sands. The wagons had creaked to a halt minutes ago and the southern forces had crawled out of them and begun checking their equipment immediately. WIth them suitably occupied Kurotsuchi hadn't needed to do anything, allowing her ample time for her to finish off her drink at a sedate pace.
Tossing her makeshift chair down to the sand she followed, sliding easily down the semi-rigid shell of the wagn to land easily on her feet. She was already grinning, eager to start Iwa's advancement in earnest, and she was greeted by similar eager expressions from ready Shinobi. As the last few finished their checks and fell in line she glanced over to the squad leaders who each stood next to crates of standard Shinobi supplies.
Her forces were already well equipped but these weren't for them. No, one of the biggest points of this was that Sunagakure itself was going to be fighting back against Konoha or her proxies. If Iwa could avoid being pulled fully into it they would be able to get into an even better position before being discovered, though it was assumed Konoha would find out they had helped liberate Sunagakure.
Avoiding that would be fortuitous but remained beyond unlikely. Or, that's what her grandfather thought. Kurotsuchi was determined to prove otherwise. Even with the easier front on her hands, she would show her people that she was worthy of inheriting her grandfather's position as Tsuchikage. Taking back Sunagakure with Konoha being none the wiser would be the first step.
Of course, there was an advantage she had in this. Unlike other villages where they would have to track down Shinobi to properly arm, the hardened people of the desert were all more or less Shinobi trained. Not formally, perhaps, but families passed down bladework and survival father to son and mother to daughter. By the time they could walk, a Suna native could handle a knife. Sometimes before then.
All Kurotsuchi had to ensure was that enough physically capable- and there were few otherwise in the village, the people of the desert did not support those who were not capable of supporting themselves. Dead weight was cut away early, they simply couldn't afford to waste precious water and sustenance on the lame and incapable– individuals were armed well enough to push out the foreign Shinobi.
They might not all have Jutsu but they would know their home far better and the guerilla tactics of the sand-raiders would be put to good use here.
With any luck, Kurotsuchi's troops wouldn't have to do anything else.
Then again, she was feeling a bit restless after that trip. Maybe a bit of a stretch wouldn't be such a bad thing. As long as there were no survivors to pass on who had come to Sunagakure she didn't have to worry about whether or not they were seen and she very much doubted any of the foreign Shinobi were, at this very moment, prepared for a journey across the entirety of Kaze no Kuni's desert.
And, even if they were, the likelihood of running into bandits was still high. They would not take kindly to foreign Shinobi.
Sometimes it really was hard being this good, things just ended up being too easy.
Of course, that was to be expected.
She was to be the next Tsuchikage, after all.
"Ready?" Asked Orochimaru.
"Ready." Orochimaru confirmed. The two shared a look, took deep breaths, and proceeded with the experiment. He was probably taking undue risks here, to be perfectly candid, but he was also far too curious to wait until he had a better idea of what might result from this. He'd never experimented with his pseudo-immortality technique after it had proven itself to work and the tests he had done in creating it gave him a rather limited pool of data to apply to this experiment.
He had, ofcourse, never considered doing something like this when he had been working on it originally. Why would he? It wasn't exactly the purpose he had created it for.
Besides, what could really go wrong?
He was using a Kage-Bunshin, after all. At most, he should get back some really strange memories and perhaps a headache and at best there should be no result at all. That was for failure, naturally. When it came to success, well, the best that could happen was…success. He really wasn't sure what that looked like. Would the Kage-Bunshin still be dismissable? Would it take the body with it? Was it reusable? Would it still be him? Would the use of the jutsu affect himself in Sasuke's body or be completely separate?
Orochimaru wasn't even sure what he was hoping for, so there was little chance of him knowing what might actually happen.
Only one way to find out for sure, really.
The Kage-Bunshin tore itself out from Sasuke's body, miraculously not dispelling as the great serpent was released. Or, a Kage-Bunshin of it, anyway.
Maybe because it was just changing to a natural form of the body it was a copy of? Orochimaru had not explored the working of the Kinjutsu nearly enough to say for sure. Gods alone knew what the first Hokage were thinking when they developed the damn thing. People thought he was mad but he'd never made anything as broken and stupidly compatible as the Kage Bunshin.
Hell, he was half certain that if a Kage-Bunshin could manage past the application of his CUrse seal and survived the process entirely it would probably last forever, subsisting on the nature Chakra it drew in to maintain his own chakra within the Ten no Juin.
Maybe that was tomorrow's project if his…participants..hadn't managed the Edo Tensei yet. They were taking far too long for Orochimaru's liking.
He shared another look with the serpent, taking a moment to admire what he really looked like these days- not something he could say he'd ever taken the time to do before now- he gestured towards the redied body in open invitation.
It was not the first body he had created, rather this one had been prepared specifically for this experiment. If, for some reason, this did become permanent then he wanted something suitable for himself to reside within.
Of course, Orochimaru could also be a tad bit jealous so he made certain there would be no confusing this new self from his original self. Her skin was a light, dusky brown with perfectly white hair like fresh snow and eyes that gleamed more greatly than the most perfectly cut emeralds.
As tempted as Orochimaru had been to further modify the body from both his last chosen and from the one he had been working on to serve as his primary, he had also respected the fact that it was, in essence, himself who would be utilizing it. He had kept the proportions and height equal to the one he had built to look like Tsunade's sister.
In that– and, perhaps, in mind –the two would be equal.
Assuming this actually worked. He had his doubts, which was why there were three more similar bodies resting in a line on a nearby workbench, their presence hidden from the world by only a thin white sheet.
He didn't know what they would do about names but he supposed that wasn't a problem unless they actually survived this.
Lunging forward the snake connected to the Ten no Juin he'd already prepared in the body. As it had never been alive the application of the seal hadn't killed it and Orochimaru suspected that it would have existed as an awakened Ten no Juin if he wasn't about to burn through it in taking over the body. He'd have to add that to his backlog of things to look into.
Eventually he'd sit down and actually compile a physical list because otherwise he was liable to forget something he had intended to explore. Considering he needed enough projects to keep him occupied from now until the end of time, he really couldn't afford to lose any of them.
He broke away from those thoughts to watch as the tip of his own tail vanished beneath the tanned skin of the body's neck. For nearly a minute there was no movement and no sound in his lab, his own breathing halted in anticipation and his blackened heart too faint for him to hear over his curiosity.
And then she took a ragged, sputtering breath, unliving lungs forced to work for the first time in the form of a fully grown woman rather than an infant. Orochimaru was instantly by her side, calling up what little Iryo-Jutsu he knew to help her body start up from nothing.
Perhaps next time he would set up some sort of device to get the basic involuntary actions of the body running ahead of time? That would probably make for a smoother transition.
"Note for next time, have the body in a living state before attempting to transfer into it." Her voice could have been described as both rich and melodic had she not been wheezing and coughing in an attempt to gulp down much needed air. Her entire body was currently starved for it and it would be another minute or so more until she had managed to circulate it through her body completely.
The chance of it having been damaged from this was just a tad bit more than Orochimaru was entirely comfortable with. Of course, that's not what had his current attention.
"I was thinking the same thing." He agreed with himself, his own voice currently that of a prepubescent boy. He much preferred the other one. "If kept in a seal they should avoid the issue of time, so we should be able to seal them in the middle of the body's living functions which will make swapping between them a much easier transition." He paused. "That means the old body will have to be sealed at the same moment we move into the new one."
Orochimaru- both of them- glanced at the Kage-Bunshin remains that had once been Sasuke's body.
"That…could prove a problem." She commented, the smallest of frowns tugging at her lips.
"A problem for later," Orochimaru dismissed, waving one hand dismissively. "We'll deal with it when we do our next test." Black eyes turned back to himself, trailing a path across her skin.
She drew into herself at his gaze, pulling her legs close and covering her chest with one hand while the other rested on her knee. "You don't get to look at me like that," She declared firmly. "Only Naruto-Kun can do that."
"You're not wrong." He agreed with a hum. "But no one's looking at you. You're me. I'm you. We're looking at ourself. How do you feel? Anything we should be concerned about?"
She took a moment to consider his question, running a mental checklist as she internally examined the feel from each part of her body. Nothing seemed wrong, as far as she could tell.
"Fine, I think." A pause. "I still don't like the feel of you looking at me, though."
Curious, but Orochimaru didn't see a problem with that.
"No helping it, then. I'll get the assistance of Tsunade or Shizune to do a more in-depth examination and get my information second-hand until I'm in a more suitable body of my own."
"And if I still don't like it?" She asked himself. Hmm, was this what his subordinates had to deal with between his own changes? That probably grew rather frustrating pretty quickly. It was almost a pity that would only be happening one more time then.
"You'll have to get used to it, then." He explained to…herself? Yes, that sounded correct. "Naruto's not giving up anyone for anyone else, especially another copy of me. Anko's certainly not going anywhere and she'll do much more than just look, I can guarantee that."
The frown became much more pronounced but she nodded anyway, accepting the truth as it was. She had already known that because he had already known that but perhaps they were just disoriented. They'd had the same train of thought earlier, after all, so they should return to the same wavelength before long. Not that it would stay, he realized with a small frown. They would be experiencing things separately and attending to different matters, no doubt, which would quickly create two very distinct instances of Orochimaru in this world, even ignoring the current physical differences.
How interesting.
For now, he would chock up her behavior to disorientation and perhaps some very minor brain damage from oxygen deprivation. It should be negligible considering it was only a minute or two without but that was still enough for a small high, so that could explain the momentary lapse in thought and attitude.
It wasn't as if he wasn't going to have to keep an eye on her anyway to see if she dispersed, he'd just have to take note of her attitude and her mood now too.
"You can rest, if you like." He offered. "Or if you're worried you may dispel too soon I suppose you can do something while you have a body." He was planning on testing physical trauma later- and possibly with a different instance of himself, he felt oddly protective of this first one for reasons he couldn't quite explain- but if she wanted to get up to trouble he wasn't about to stop her.
It was a realistic expectation that her life might be measured in mere hours, he wouldn't deprive her of the chance to experience it for herself in a body more rugged than the traditional form of the Kage-Bnshin.
Besides, if she dispelled from it he would either know both that he received the memories still and how much her body could take or just that memories didn't transfer.
….And maybe whether the body stayed, too. Would it really be dead then or would it just revert to his creation? Normally he'd say the latter but if the body had Chakra running through it now due to his Kage-Bunshin…
Hmm, he wouldn't have the Ten no Jutsu anymore, either. That might have to be reworked.
No, he was probably overthinking things. He'd just have to wait a bit for his answers and if she stuck around for a day or two he would move on to his next tests. She could help him, too, almost like a bonding activity.
Orochimaru paused.
….Had he simply created a daughter?
And, if so, did that make Tsunade the mother?
"Gaara?"
"Hai, Tou-Sama?" The little racoon looked up to the confused face of his father who proceeded to point to his newest sister.
"Who do you have there?"
Gaara's eyes went from his father down to the little water sprite and back up to Naruto. "This is Jundo-Nee."
He continued to stare at her for a few seconds, bright purple eyes causing the sprite to squirm uncomfortably under the scrutiny. "Uh-huh." He paused. "And you managed to drag her with you into my seal?"
As opposed to the questioning tone his father had used, Gaara's "Uh-huh" was much more affirmative. It gave Naruto no less of a headache, though.
Pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a tired sigh, the Daimyo of Nami no Kuni centered himself with a breath and then made a dismissive gesture with one hand as if mimicking the act would make it a reality in his mind. As this was his world, perhaps that wasn't entirely wrong.
"You know what? Fine. I don't know why I didn't expect this from the beginning." Turning his attention from his little raccoon he pointed towards the sprite with one finger, making it abundantly clear who he was addressing with his following words. "I expect you to be on your best behavior in here, understood?"
Twisting up from her seat she gave a curtsey that had her tiny Yukata riding up nearly to her hips. It was only his own position gaing down at her that kept Naruto from being given an eyeful of what she contained for only the barest senses of modesty. "Of course, Tsukuyomi-sama, I'll be a very good girl." She ended with a giggle and Naruto wasn't sure he appreciated how suggestive her words had sounded, especially around his innocent son.
"If you corrupt him somehow, Jundo-Hime, you won't have to worry about me." She smiled. It quickly vanished when he continued. "Because Karura, Temari, and Mito will get to you first."
"He is a growing young man, Tsukuyomi-Sama, there's no telling when he'll start to take notice and with so many beautiful women around you he's sure to start appreciating their forms before too long. You wouldn't hold me accountable for something so natural, would you?"
"...You've already done something, haven't you?" He accused evenly.
"...Maybe?"
He turned back to Gaara. "Your Jundo-Nee is a very naughty girl, make sure not to listen to her unless a Kaa-San or one of your aunties lets you know it's okay, alright?"
Gaara nodded, confused, but Jundo quickly brought the attention back to her.
"Ooh, that's right. I'm naughty and if I'm Gaara-Chan's Nee-Sama I guess that makes you this naughty Jundo-Hime's Tou-Sama, doesn't it Tsukuyomi-Kun?" She shot him a smoldering look- ironic considering she was a being of water- and proceeded to run her hands across the Yakuta that barely managed to remain in place against her pale skin.
"...You've at least been kept away from Anko, right?"
That earned him a pout. "I haven't found her yet."
Thank the gods.
With how many times he had already been wrong, Kisame wouldn't let himself believe he was at his intended- not by him, but this was the destination he had been ordered to reach by Mikoto whom he never remembered becoming his boss and yet somehow was anyway –destination without sufficient proof. The rain didn't mean anything, he ignored the towering steel structures that stretched to the sky like the jagged teeth of some primordial beast , and he paid no heed to the headbands worn proudly by the local shinobi.
Even as he made his way into the caves that Pein used to house the Akatsuki organization– despite having a perfectly good tower they could be staying in– doubt lingered at the back of Kisame's mind. The chances that some other country had all the same things was low– like really, really low– but he wasn't willing to dismiss it entirely just yet.
It wasn't until he reached the usual meeting room where the remaining members of Akatsuki– those physically present, at least- could be seen sprawled across the ground that the land-shark released a relieved breath. Despite this overwhelming proof on display for him, he still found himself turning towards a collapsed Konan.
"This is Ame this time, right?" As tired as her heavy-lidded eyes conveyed, she managed a ghost of a smile at the reminder of Kisame's horrible navigation skills and, no doubt, the mental image of the S-Rank Shinobi having spent the weeks he was absent hopelessly lost as he tried to get back to do his job.
"How many times did you ask for help, Kisame?"
"Ask?" He repeated, defensively. "None."
Her brow struggled to rise in silent question and he only managed to resist for a second before caving to his favorite remaining member of Akatsuki. "...But aid may have been volunteered twice."
"I think that's a record."
Sheepishly, he raised his hand where the crude map had remained. She looked at it for a second before a giggle bubbled up and escaped her. "We're going to have to tattoo a full map like that there, aren't we?"
He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed grin. "I was having the same thought on the way here."
A second later he seemed to really take in the state of his organization, noting the fact that even Pein seemed to lay limply on the gigantic hands of the Gedo Mazo. Zetsu was on the opposite side, tucked in the corner like some freakish forgotten houseplant. Kisame could only assume Hidan and Kakuzu had joined via projection. Or, perhaps, they hadn't joined at all. Might explain the state of the other three.
"I guess I'm a bit late to the party. Who'd I miss?" Even as he asked he knelt down next to Konan and picked her up. He wasn't going to leave his favorite to rest there on the floor. She frowned for a second before deciding she was too tired to argue and accepted that she was going to be helped to bed. Or, at the very least, that couch Deidara had dragged into the Akatsuki breakroom seven months ago.
"The Yonbi." Was the answer she provided. "Just finished sealing it about an hour ago."
He paused for a step as he heard that, a frown growing on his own face. "Aw, damnit, that one was supposed to be mine. Who caught him?" His pride was a little wounded that someone had managed to obtain his target before he had even laid eyes on the man but it was nothing a nap or a snack couldn't remedy in a matter of minutes.
"Pein-sama collected it personally." Well, that wasn't so bad. At least it was the most powerful member of the group. He would still be going for that comfort snack or nap, though. Probably both. Oh, who was he kidding? It was both before he even got here, he'd been looking forward to both since he hit the Ame- he was pretty sure that's what it was, anyway –border.
"And how long did it take to seal it?" He'd never seen them all look so dead before. Of course, they'd never actually sealed a tailed beast for as long as he'd been a member, either, so maybe this was normal.
"Six days"
He nearly dropped her. "Six days? Holy shit, what happened?" His answer was a rather firm– if tired –glare.
"We seem to be missing a majority of our members."
"Oh, right," He gave a nervous chuckle. "My bad." The glare quickly faded. Whether that was because she couldn't stay mad at him or because she just didn't have the energy he couldn't tell. Personally, he chose to believe the first just because it made him feel better.
"Next time you guys should wait for me. Probably would have taken less time to find me wherever I had ended up and bring me back to help." He probably wasn't wrong. either.
"I'll be sure to suggest it next time." She promised. "...where did you end up?"
"Would you believe Yu no Kuni?" Yes, yes she would.
Konan rolled her eyes.
Some things never changed.
My gratitude to my patrons who continue to support my work despite my struggles to maintain my update schedule.
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