Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Back to Basics...with a twist

(AKA: "I cast Raise Dead at level FUCK YOU")

By cj304

[Scene opens to a heavily panting Team Boruto, injured and weary. Code is standing above them on a cliff, laughing maniacally as several white figures with horns and alien eyes surround them. There is one figure with its head blown off at the feet of Konohamaru, who is spitting blood but in a stance reminiscent of Asuma when he used the techniques of the Chakra Monks]

CODE: Hahaha! I really must thank Orochimaru and Danzo for leaving all of that cloning technology around in those abandoned labs! With this, my army of resurrected Ototsuki clones is finally here! Mass produced using a combination of theirs and our cloning techniques, Shin Uchiha's notes and methods, and the Zetsu replication techniques I reverse-engineered, no one can stop this army!

BORUTO: ...an army isn't made up of like, six or seven dozen people... [sweating heavily]

CODE: It is when they're all super powerful aliens!

MITSUKI: ...he's got you there, Boruto.

BORUTO: SHADDUP, you! We are going to die!

?: Awww, giving up already, son? Where's your will of fire?!

[Everyone turns and sees Naruto perched on top of a nearby rock, grinning]

CODE: Ah! So one of the fading stars of ages past has emerged to go out in a blaze of glory before he sputters out! Behold my Ototsuki transformation, now making me stronger than-

NARUTO: Yeahyeahyeah, neat. You made another clone army. Not original, but gotta give you points for having them not turn on you. Though, gotta say, nothing against Konohamaru, but if he can kill one of those things without destroying the landscape while protecting his team, then they ain't anywhere near as strong as the real things, are they?

[A faint "hey" is heard from the direction of the prodigal Sarutobi]

CODE: RUDE. Well what's your response to this, tough guy? You can't spam mountain busters anymore, and my cloned Ototsuki are each at least as strong as an S-Rank ninja.

NARUTO: Oh, that's easy. I'm gonna use a variant of my go-to technique to overwhelm you.

CODE: [Cautious] You- you developed a new Rasengan to counter the Ototsuki defenses and regeneration? [Gasp] D-did you actually create a "Truth Seeking Ball Rasengan" by combining all of the elemental affinities?

NARUTO: Nope. Good idea, though. That's gotta go on the to-do list, right after getting the Yin-Yang Rasengn to work. No, see, people tend to forget, except Sasuke who pointed it out long ago when we had our final battle, but my most adaptable and well used technique is the Kage Bunshin.

CODE: W-what? Are you mocking me? You might have enough chakra to make a thousand clones still, but a thousand weak clones can't match these alien conquerors!

NARUTO: Heh, if I was using ordinary clones, probably. But I've been training for this moment...

Flashback

KABUTO: AH, Hokage-sama. What can this humble orphanage worker do for you?

NARUTO: Are the kids still getting along well?

KABUTO: Yes, yes. So far they are growing well. I'm making sure that they are much happier growing up than we ever were.

NARUTO: Good. Now, I need your help to ensure that they stay that way.

KABUTO: Oh? So serious, I rarely see this side of you. What do you need, then?

NARUTO: It's about a technique you once used...

NARUTO: [Peers suspiciously at tea being served to him]

OROCHIMARU: Don't fret. It's not poisoned. That would be unimaginative.

[Naruto cautiously sips from the cup]

OROCHIMARU: So you haven't come here to make small talk, and despite my hopes, I imagine that you aren't here to allow me to study your reincarnation or Sage abilities, so why am I playing host to the Seventh Hokage today?

NARUTO: Heh, actually I need your help with a technique I'm creating using my Sage Arts, and you might have some insight that could help complete it.

OROCHIMARU: [Amused smile] Oh? Color me intrigued. Are you attempting to create something new? Or recreating an ability of Madara or The Sage?

NARUTO: It's [sound is blocked out so we cannot hear what he says]

[Orochimaru's eyes widen, and slowly a sinister grin forms on his face]

NARUTO: [sitting cross legged, meditating.]

[The scene comes to a white void, like the kind that the Tailed Beasts converse in... and also where several important meetings took place]

HAGOROMO: Oho? So you would reach out across the ages to converse with this old man, Asura?

NARUTO: [Appearing as a figure made out of light, a mandala of Truth Seeking Balls surrounding him and a cloak made of golden chakra still wrapping around his form]

NARUTO: Heya, super gramps. How you been doing?

HAGOROMO: Ahhh, you are still as free spirited in this life as you were so many years ago. It is heartening to see. Are you here about Kurama? I have already sensed his passing. If you were hoping I could revive him, I am sorry to say that I cannot do so. My carefully stored power was extinguished back during the last great war of your era, and now the remnants are but a candle to keep me alight as I watch over my mother in her slumber. Though I grieve my son, he is now passing through the cycle of reincarnation, much like you have many times before...

NARUTO: No. That's not why I'm here. I wish I could see him again, but I'm aware of the limits of such things, and I wouldn't ask you something so difficult. But please, I do need your help. I know you've given so much already, waited so long, suffered so much. So please, just one more thing. They want to go after the rest of your children. I need your help to stop them...

HAGOROMO: My son from another life, if I can help you protect this world from my distant kin once more, for yes, I am aware of your struggles, then I will gladly do so. I am heartened to see that your bond with your siblings is so strong in this life, that you would take up the mantle of their protection. Fret not; ask, and if it is within my power, I shall grant you my aid...

NARUTO: Thank you... Now, I remember a technique you used at the end of our fight with Kaguya. Can you teach it to me?

HAGOROMO: To teach you of the Sage Arts would be my pleasure...

CODE: What technique could you possibly have invented that would counter my army? I won't allow you to use it!

NARUTO: Pfft. Please, do I look like an amateur? I'm just a clone, the real me already finished using the technique!

CODE: [Eyes widen as he senses a massive amount of chakra] Wha?

[A white beam of chakra lances through several Ototsuki clones. They attempt to dodge, but an invisible figure reveals itself and launches a white cube of chakra that explodes, hitting them.]

MU: [surrounded by his dopplegangers and the figure of the first Tsuchikage, all wearing a hat with the symbol for "Stone" on it] So Onoki still isn't among us. My, my. He will have seen so much change when he finally joins the Pure World.

CODE: Wha? You didn't.

[A large hulking figure wreathed in lightning launches forward, grabbing an Ototsuki and spearing it through the heart with a crackling finger, completely ignoring the bone spears that splintered harmlessly against his skin]

AY: Hmph! Even these aliens can't pierce my skin. Kinda disappointing. [Lightning Aura surges] NOW BE PREPARED FOR THE RAIKAGE SLAMDOWN TEAMUP THAT ALL RAIKAGE HAVE DREAMED OF! [Two other figures covered in lightning emerge]

CODE: Oh come on!

[Several Ototsuki are pinned by two opposing waves of Sand; one made of gold, and one of iron]

RASA: I may have been a shit father, but I can at least do one thing right and protect them this time, even if they'll never know. All four of us will bury you in a desert of our own making! [A sandstorm is created by the four figures wearing the 'Suna' hat]

[Several Ototsuki try and counter attack, launching Jutsu against their enemies, only to discover that they were actually attacking their own allies]

GENGETSU: Sigh. They never see the clam coming. Oh well, get busy swimming or get busy dying, aliens! [Figures with the 'Mizu' hat summon a tidal wave with his help]

CODE: HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU SACRIFICE TO DO THIS, YOU GIANT HYPOCRITE?!

NARUTO: None.

CODE: What?! HOW?!

NARUTO: I asked for help, and used some outside the box thinking. They have a time limit because I used shadow clones to eat up the sacrfice cost, cause I still can't do it off hand like Gramps Sage did way back when, but it's enough for this! [Peace Sign]

CODE: THAT IS CHEATING!

[A flash of light appears, and Code finds several kunai with explosive tags stuck in him. He's then hit with a black staff and launched into a cliff, where several elemental techniques cover him in a cage, before a muffled explosion occurs]

CODE: cough. Okay that was annoying-

TOBIRAMA: Hmm, so that's the limit of his reflexes, defenses, and regeneration...

SARUTOBI: There are plenty of other techniques to try. I have quite a few saved up.

MINATO: Do leave some for me. He hurt my family and Kushina would never forgive me for not contributing.

CODE: O-ooohhhhh shiiiitttt. Wait, where is-?

[A giant samurai made of Chakra emerges from the landscape, spearing several Ototsuki and then fire emerges from its mouth, white-hot and immolating them]

MADARA: HASHIRAAAAMMMAAAAAA! Let's see who can kill the most of them! Winner has bragging rights!

[A wood dragon the size of a subway train grows out of the ground, piercing several Ototsuki in its jaws]

HASHIRAMA: Haha, you're on Madara! : D

TOBIRAMA: sigh. Those two never change.

NARUTO: Sorry, what was that about your army being unstoppable? Can't hear you over the sound of the immortal Kage stomping them.

CODE: YOU SUMMONED MADARA?!

NARUTO: Yeah.

CODE: WHY?!

NARUTO: Cause fuck you, that's why. I'm super tired of the Ototsuki clan, and wanna move on with my life. So I summoned help to scrub you all off the face of our planet. Hey dad, try and finish up before your time limit so you can meet my son!

MINATO: Got it!

CODE: You only summoned your father? Talk about selfish- [Gets hit in the face by Sarutobi's staff]

NARUTO: [Points with thumb] Actually, mom's just not participating.

BORUTO MMPPHH!

KUSHINA: Ohhhh, you're so cute! My son had cute grandbabies and is so strong and happy! This is the best vacation from the Pure Land, cause I never thought I would say this, but beating up Obito was getting boring! [Hugging Boruto tightly]

NARUTO: But this does seem kinda broken. Note to self, add this to the Forbidden list of Jutsu. This could end badly in someone else's hands...

TOBIRAMA: [Stabbing Code with a sword of lightning] I want to see your notes!

[In the background, Madara Calls out "Six!" and Hashirama calls out "Five! Good one Maddy!"]

KONOHAMARU: ...you know what? I killed one. That's better than most. Imma sit down and watch gramps kick ass

SARUTOBI: Konohamaru, get over here and fight alongside me!

KONOHAMARU: Whoop! Yes gramps!

FIN