Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

A collection of omakes for your amusement and inspiration...

So, Post-Time skip, Naruto asks Sakura out on a date.

"Look Sakura, why can't you just go out on one date with me? What are you afraid of?"

Sakura shook her head.

"I'm not afraid! I just... I don't like you!"

Naruto gave her a deadpan stare.

"Uh huh?"

Sakura sighed.

"Fine. One date." She held up her finger, "just one!"

Naruto cheered.

"YEAH! WOOHOO!"

"Watch it!" Sakura stated.

"Ahem, right, sorry," Naruto coughed.

Then Road to Ninja happens...

Sakura hummed thoughtfully, after that crazy adventure.

"You know... That date was nuts, but... That's kind of typical for our lives. And... You really showed me a different side of yourself, Naruto!"

She beamed at him.

Naruto blinked, confused.

"Uh, I did?" He asked.

Sakura beamed happily.

"When you actually talked back to me! Yelled at me! Treated me like dirt? That was so hot! So..." She licked her lips, "how about another date, huh? You can choke me! You can beat me! Treat me like dirt!"

Sakura was panting eagerly.

Naruto stared at her. He blinked again.

"Errrr..." Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "ya know Sakura-chan, I've been thinking things over... And you know... Maybe we're better off as..." He grinned nervously.

"Friends?"

Sakura stares at Naruto. Her eyebrow twitches violently.

"Friends...?!" She whispered, before it escalated into a scream, "FRIENDS?!"

Naruto blinked, and began to step back, slowly.

"Was... That the wrong thing to say?"

Sakura twitched violently, and she narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"No... No... You can't not love me! You've been in love with me forever! Since we were kids! You pursued me endlessly, never giving up!"

She stuck her finger in Naruto's face.

"You can't just... Can't just... NOT want to date me now!"

Naruto coughed.

"Ummmm..."

Sakura now wore a very disturbing smile, her fingers now twitching into fists.

"I get it! This is a test! A test of my devotion to you! Well don't worry, Naruto! I'll pass the test. I'll pass every obstacle! And I'll make you MINE. FOREVER MINE. Nobody will ever get between us, EVER, and we'll be happy. FOREVER."

"... Hinata?! Help?!"

Pre-Timeskip, Naruto runs by Shino and Kiba.

"Hey guys! Have you seen Sakura?" Naruto asked.

Shino shook his head.

"No. However, Hinata was going to get ramen at Ichiraku's," the stoic boy said. Naruto grinned.

"Really?! Hey, thanks! Ramen sounds great!"

Naruto runs off. Kiba scowls after him. Kiba looked over at Shino, and said, in a low voice:

"Why the hell are we helping him, Shino? I mean, I could catch Hinata on the rebound!"

Shino stared at Kiba blankly for a few moments. He finally opened his mouth.

"... Hahahaha. Hahaha. Ha."

"I totally could!" Kiba barked indignantly. Shino shook his head.

"Kiba, she loves both of us, as brothers. And the Hyuuga do not actually practice incest. She will never love you, no matter how much you sniff around her. Accept it."

Kiba huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I-She could totally be into me!"

Shino shook his head.

"She cannot."

"Akamaru!" Kiba cried, "you know I have a chance with Hinata, right?"

Akamaru huffed.

"Bow wow."

Kiba gaped in horror.

"Dude! Traitor!"

Kiba turned to Kurenai-sensei.

"Kurenai-sensei! Hinata could totally fall in love with me after getting tired of Naruto! Right? Right?!"

Kurenai sighed, then patted him on the head with a fond, pitying smile.

"Poor Kiba. So delusional."

"SENSEI!" Kiba whined. Shino spoke up once again.

"It is more likely Kurenai sensei and Anko would tag team Naruto for some fun. Shadow clones cannot get someone pregnant."

Kurenai sighed happily.

"He's also strong, warm, optimistic, charismatic, and endearing. Also a hard worker. And you can grind meat on his abs..." Kurenai blushed deeply. "Ahem."

Kiba spun away from Kurenai, and saw Kakashi nearby. He ran up, desperate.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! Hinata would totally fall for me after getting tired of Naruto's rejection, right?! Right?!"

Kakashi looked up from his book with a condescending smile.

"Sure Kiba. You can even be the next Hokage."

"REALLY-Hey wait a minute!"

As part of Sakura's training with Tsunade, she and Shizune went with their teacher to casinos. As usually happens though...

Tsunade smiles to her students, as she hugs her mink fur coat to her body tightly.

"Listen girls, I'm running out of money but this next hand will be perfect! I just need some collateral."

Sakura blinked, and looked over at Shizune, confused.

"Um, I don't have much Sensei-"

Tsunade shook her head.

"Oh nonono! I'm not using your money. I'm using... You."

Sakura gaped.

"I'm your collateral?!"

Shizune sighed deeply, as Tsunade beamed.

"I will totally win this next round! Don't worry!"

"W-Well," Sakura mumbled, "I mean... If you're sure, Sensei?"

Ten. Minutes. Later.

Sakura and Shizune were now sitting in a hotel room at the casino, with several armed men around them. Shizune beams at the mortified Sakura, and pats her on her hand.

"Don't worry: They won't molest us: They know Tsunade-sama would kill them."

Sakura stared at Shizune in disbelieving silence. Shizune coughed.

"... Unless you're into that. B-Because I'm totally not into that! Ahahaha!"

As Shizune continued to laugh unconvincingly, Sakura sighed and looked down at her hands.

I'm doomed, Sakura thought.

More perverted Shizune. I just love her being that way...

Shizune: "Honestly, why can't you go out with Naruto?"

Sakura: "Ugh! Why would I?"

Shizune: "His warm spirit, his happy smile, his confidence, his kindness..." Begins drooling "His hard abs, his taut legs, his firm butt, his soft blonde hair, his huge-"

Sakura: "ACK! Shizune-senpai, please!"

Shizune: "I'm just saying, he'd probably be great in bed. If I was a little younger, well... He'd be my precious little brother. So eager to please his onee-chan~..."

Sakura: "I'm gonna be sick..."

Naruto: "HEY SHIZUNE-NEE-CHAN!"

Shizune: "Hello Naruto-otouto~!" *She hugs Naruto happily* "I'm so glad to see you~!"

Naruto: "I'm so happy to see you too!"

Shizune: Lecherous smile as she nuzzles him

Sakura: "Oh geez..."