Ramen Doodles
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
I think that President Roosevelt would lead the diplomatic mission to Konoha himself, given his diplomacy did get him the Noble Peace Prize. He is also the type to want to go on adventures when things were slow in the capital city (Perhaps named Columbia now).
And given his own martial prowess and hot blooded nature he would be happy to have exhibition fights with the locals to show American strength and character as well as make their hosts look good.
Which means Teddy and Gai are going to have a fight.
As Roosevelt, wearing a wifebeater and trousers, muscular with power crackling from his body, grapples with Might Guy in the Chuunin Exams arena...
Gai: "Guh... Tell me... Mister President... What drives you on?!"
Roosevelt: "Gnngh... I am but a tender for the fire of liberty and justice! Men think I am their hope, but I am but a man! My duty is to kindle the love of liberty and justice in all men, so that when I am gone, it will burn brightly! Urgh, and you my fine sir?"
Gai: "To stoke the flames of youth! To push others to realize their potential! To... Not give into despair and become slaves to darkness and death!"
Roosevelt: grin "HAHA! BULLY! You are truly a man among men, Mister Guy!"
Gai: grin "And you as well, my friend! Shall we unleash our true powers and let our flames burn?!"
Roosevelt: "I agree! I'm only upset I didn't think of it myself first!"
Gai proceeds to open the Eight Gates, roaring in power. Roosevelt releases his own limits, bulking up as the air around him explodes. The two figures begin moving so fast they cannot be seen, exchanging punches so fast it sounds like hundreds of cannons going off!
Finally, Gai puts everything into a final attack, as does the President.
Gai: "EVENING... ELEPHANT!"
Roosevelt: "BIG TEXAS!"
KABOOOOM!
The arena has been evacuated, thankfully. As much of it has been utterly wrecked. Roosevelt and Gai face eachother, panting hard. They then begin to laugh heartily.
Roosevelt: "HAHAHA! THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT!"
Gai: "THAT WAS ASTOUNDING!"
Tsunade: "Ahem..."
Tsunade and a slight Caucasian woman in a blue dress stand near them. Teddy coughs.
Roosevelt: "Ah, yes. Guy, this is Antonia Evans, my chief of staff-"
Antonia: "Mister President! You overdid it again!"
Roosevelt: "But-but-!"
Gai: "I assure you the fault was mine!"
Roosevelt: "No, mine!"
Tsunade: *punches Gai* "YOU OVERDID IT WORSE YOU FOOL!"
Roosevelt: winces "Well you see Maria-"
Antonia: "None of that, Mister President! You fix this up right now!"
Roosevelt: "Hmph. I don't need a nurse maid!"
Even as he gets to repairing things.
Antonia: "And yet I'm still employed..."
By me. And yes, Teddy Roosevelt should resemble All Might in your minds.
Emperor Norton II
The ninja couldn't help but stare.
Much like their Hokage, he was on old man, but almost roiling with power, almost visible to the naked eye, even as relaxed as he seemed.
This man, this power, sat not in some private dining room, but on a stool at the bar. Dined not on some fancy gourmet meal, but on simple common fair like everyone else. He was greeted genially, respectfully.
They wanted to know who he was, but one was too cautious, one too polite to interrupt someone's meal, and one unwilling to put himself at a disadvantage before such a power.
Which left...
"Oi, old man! Who are you?"
Said old man was startled by Naruto's sudden question, but laughed at the boy's brashness.
"I am David Washington Norton, a humble private citizen."
Naruto frowned at the words, "Really? Cause you seem really strong!"
Norton let out a bark of laughter, "I suppose. At one point I was quiet the power. Even ruled a good portion of these lands."
"But you don't anymore?" Sakura couldn't help but ask.
Norton smiled, taking in the other ninja, "Ah, guests from afar. No, no I gave it up."
"Why?" Sasuke asked, why would someone give up power, he couldn't help but wonder to himself.
Norton seemed to contemplate the question, "What do you suppose is man's greatest power?"
The genin looked at each other, confused, before shrugging, as Kakashi kept to himself, though listened with a keen ear.
"It is the power to choose. It may not seem like much, but it is a great power indeed. One's choice can decide everything, one chooses to be who they are, and to take away choice, is to rob them of a piece of their very soul. And so, when the time came, I chose to step down, so that my people, these people, may have a choice of their own." With that Norton turned back to the proprietress, "My thanks, dear Maria. I believe I shall take a walk, don't want my joints to stiffen up now." And with a nod to all, he walked out of the restaurant.
Naruto tried to turn the old man's words over in his mind with a frown of concentration before turning to Maria, "Is he crazy?"
Maria laughed, "Maybe a little, but he's still a good man."
By Thozmp.
After seeing her sensei and the President of those United States fight it out in the Chuunin Exam Arena (and leave it in ruins), Tenten had been afraid that all of America would be like that. Getting out and seeing this city, called "San Francisco", had dispelled that rather silly fear.
Honestly, she'd never seen so many people at once! Not even in the Hi no Kuni capital! All bustling about, from all over a continent! Most of them quite mellow, really, as they dodged horses and weird automobiles going down the streets. There were ruins of huge buildings of metal and glass in the distance, left over from before the Age of Chakra. Seagulls flew overhead, fighting with pigeons. She looked around in wonder, almost forgetting her training to blend in.
"OOH!" Lee cried, darting into a weapons shop. "TENTEN! LOOK! IT IS AMAZING!"
Tenten repressed a sigh and followed, Neji and Gai going in after her. Lee's enthusiasm was always welcome, especially since it was for something they both liked: A weapons shop!
The shopkeeper was a large, burly man who seemed to not fit the apron he was wearing. He gave them a tense smile, and waved his hands.
"Go ahead! Look at anything you like! All sales final!"
Lee was flitting about eagerly, as Tenten's own eyes widened. She immediately picked up a sword (She believed it was called a "saber") and studied the balance. It was pretty good, for something that was pretty cheap.
"OOH! GAI-SENSEI! THEY HAVE NUN CHUCKS!" Lee shouted. Gai was over on the other side of the store in an instant, whooping and cheering with Lee. Neji sighed at Tenten's look, and shook his head.
"My fighting style doesn't really work with weapons," he said.
"What about those chakra guns the President gave us?" Tenten asked. Sure, the mustached man had been very intense, but also very generous-He'd given personal gifts to every member of Gai's team, and many other ninja. He seemed far too gregarious and hotblooded to be the ruler of an entire country.
Neji shrugged.
"They're useful, true, but I already have one," he said. He wandered off to a section of the store with books, so Tenten returned to the swords in the case. She picked up another, testing its balance and weight on her finger. A delicate looking yet strong hand, gloved in leather, reached over and took hold of the blade. Tenten started and looked up... And up!
Everyone was so tall around here, but this woman was statuesque. Tall and graceful, looking even taller with her vibrant hair in a tight bun high on the back of her head. She was dressed in simple yet elegant black and white clothing, with slits cut in the sides of her long dress to allow her long legs in leather boots to be seen. She wore a sword in a sheath at her side, and a black blindfold over her eyes. She gave Tenten a soft smile.
"You wouldn't be interested in these, I'm afraid," the woman said kindly, her voice warm and melodic, "they only put the cheap stuff in front."
"Oh, r-right," Tenten managed. She hadn't even sensed the woman until she was right next to her! What kind of-?
She put her hand on Tenten's shoulder comfortingly.
"Oh, just a moment," the woman said. Tenten's keen eyes picked up movement, and she looked-The shopkeeper had pulled out a gun and was pointing it right at her! She could see Gai already noticing, already moving and nearly at the man, but the keeper was pulling the trigger and firing and-!
She felt the wind blow, hard. She saw sparks explode in front of her as metal fragments flew into the walls around her. The shopkeeper's gun fell into pieces, and he himself collapsed as blood spurt from his arms and legs. Gai skidded to a halt, but gave the man a punch to knock him out completely.
The pressure of the woman's hand was gone for an instant, and then right back. Tenten looked up in astonishment, as she was now holding her sword. She flicked blood off her blade, and then slid the saber back into her sheath.
"Forgive the theatrics," she said, "but he was trying to shoot me."
"Wha-Why-?" Tenten tried, just before Lee tackled her in a hug.
"TENTEN! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!" Lee sobbed. "TELL ME YOU ARE FINE!"
Neji was already there too, hands charged with chakra. A pair of policemen came in, their guns drawn.
"What's going on-?!" The lead officer demanded. The woman pulled out a wallet and held it open.
"I am Agent Helen Kelly, US Federal Rangers," she said. She nodded to the man. "Keith Lopez is a wanted Plasm and Tincture using serial killer. He attempted to kill myself and this foreign dignitary," she said, primly handing over the appropriate paperwork. The officers stared in disbelief and shock. One went to the phone, calling his superior. His eyes widened further, and he nodded.
"Ah, our apologies Agent Kelly!" He said. He blushed and held his hat in his hands. "Ah, oh, I didn't realize it was you-May I possibly have-?"
"Signed," Helen said, producing some photographs of herself signed with her name. The officer grinned and took them.
"Thank you!" He gushed. He headed back to the fallen felon, and Gai grinned broadly.
"Ah! Our youthful escort across the continent! I had no idea you would be so amazing!"
"Oh, please, stop," Helen chuckled, a slight blush coming to her cheeks. "I'm really not used to such gushing."
Yet she had signed autographs of hersef, Tenten thought. Helen gave Tenten a smile, and despite the blindfold she felt she was looking right through her soul.
"It is unavoidable in my line of work, I'm afraid," she admitted. "The government tries to merchandise us. It's very annoying."
"Still, to have fans!" Lee crowed. "You must be incredibly youthful, Kelly-san!"
"Not as much as I used to be," she said wryly. She nodded to Gai. "You must be Mister Gai. You must be Lee, Tenten, and Neji?"
"Yes," Tenten managed, "and, um, thank you!"
"Don't mention it," Helen said gently. "Sorry if you thought I was showing off saving your life. I'm sure you'd have been fine-"
"Oh-Oh no! I-That was cool!" Tenten enthused. Tenten looked over at Neji with a smile. "Wasn't it, Neji?"
Neji was staring intensely at Agent Kelly, his Byakugan on. He blinked.
"... You're blind?" Neji asked in amazement. Agent Kelly chuckled, tilting her head and shrugging.
"Guilty as charged," she said.
"OOOH! Beautiful AND a blind swormswoman of incredible power?!" Gai gasped. "YOUR INCREDIBLE YOUTH IS EXPLODING!" He threw a fist up into the air. "THANK YOU PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT, FOR SUCH AN INCREDIBLE COMRADE!"
"HER TALENT AND YOUTH ARE UNMATCHED!" Lee bellowed, hugging his sensei as they both cried and cheered in a truly overwrought and mortifying display. Neji raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Agent Kelly who wasn't reacting at all to the scene in front of her.
"I get the feeling they chose her for other reasons," Neji deadpanned. Tenten chuckled.
"Still want to hang out with us?" She asked. Kelly smiled.
"I think I can handle things," she said kindly.
By me, of course.