I'd been shown my room, but didn't stay, instead changing into something less noticeable, and heading up the stairs to the suite that had been provided for him.

I knocked on the door, but didn't get an answer. I knocked again.

"I'm fine, Ap'lek." He yelled from inside.

I knocked again, and heard his footsteps before he flung the door open. "I said I'm-" he stopped, seeing me, his eyes going wide.

He looked...like hell. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, showing the pale skin underneath, and his hair was hanging in his face, as if he'd been raking his fingers through it. And, his eyes were wild, bloodshot, and rimmed with red. His gaze drifted to the floor, as if he couldn't meet my eyes.

"Can I...come in?" I asked.

His jaw flexed as he ground his teeth together, and he stepped aside, closing the door behind us when I stepped inside. I saw a nearly empty decanter of amber liquid on the table in the middle of the room.

He sank heavily on the couch, putting his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands. "I thought you'd be halfway to Bakura by now." He said, miserably.

"What's Bakura?" I asked.

"It's a hideout planet on the edge of wild space." He pushed his fingers through his hair. "Away from my power and influence."

I walked around, and sat on the couch next to him. "If you thought I'd run at the first opportunity, why did you order a ship to be ready?"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Because I will not hold you captive. I don't care that my officials bought you, I don't care that it may start a war with your grandfather." When he opened his eyes and met mine, i didn't just see pain. I saw misery, suffering, and so much guilt it was almost incomprehensible. "Rey, I want you to go."

I felt my forehead crease. "Go back to my room?"

He took a shuddering breath. "I want you to leave me."

There was a crack deep in my chest, and I gasped. "What?"

I could've sworn I saw his bottom lip quiver before he turned away, burying his face in his hands again. "I want you to take the money, take the ship and I want you to leave me."

My eyes stung as I blinked back tears. He wanted me to leave Bespin. But, not to go back to his kingdom, or even one of his ships. Did he not want to be married to me? Was he using this trip as a way to get rid of me? "Is this why you brought me here?"

"No!" He moaned, looking up at me. "I brought you here to see where Gavriel stood, I swear. I had no idea they would…"

His eyes glistened, and he shut them, leaning back on the couch. A long, silent moment passed before he opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. "What they said to you." He murmured. "What they think I do to you."

"It doesn't matter what they think." I said. "They don't know you."

"But they do!" He jumped to his feet, and began pacing around the room. "They do know me. They know what I've done, the world's I've destroyed, the people I've killed, tortured, the minds I've melted. They know it all." He shook his head. "You, you don't know me."

"Then why don't you tell me?" I challenged, and he fell, literally fell on his knees in front of me.

"Because if I do," he said, his voice thick with unshed tears, his face more open, more anguished than I'd ever seen it. "You will never look at me the same way again."

"How do I look at you?"

"Like you're not afraid of me." Tears rolled down his face. "Like I'm a man, and not a monster." And then he was sobbing. Broken, guttural sobs that shook his entire body as I watched him crumple.

And, it cut into me like a knife.

I sank to my knees in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders, slowly, hesitantly, almost asking for permission. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, and pressed his forehead to my shoulder, trying to catch his breath. I stroked a hand through his raven hair, then again, and again until his shaking subsided.

"I'm so sorry." He said against my shoulder.

Whether it was for what happened earlier, or for what was happening now, I didn't know. I didn't care. I pressed my lips against his hair, his scent covered by the sharp smell of whatever liquor he'd been drinking.

I held him until my knees started to ache, and when I pulled away, he fell forward. I grunted, trying to catch him before he hit the carpeted floor, but my efforts were futile. He rolled onto his back and looked up at me, his face wet and red. "You're going to be gone in the morning." He said, his voice sounding far away.

"No, I won't." I told him, sitting on my feet. "Im not going anywhere. And, you know why?"

He hummed, his brows lifting.

"Because I want to stay with you."

His eyes widened, surprise and doubt swirling in the russet depths. "You...want to?" His voice cracked.

I nodded. "Earlier, you said there were two reasons that you wanted me to come with you." I didn't think he would be this honest once the liquor wore off. "What was the second reason?"

"Because I'm selfish." He admitted, after a moment of contemplative silence. "And, it goes deeper than just not wanting to be away from you."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, letting his confession sink in. He'd said that I was different because he vowed to honor and cherish me, that he wasn't the type of man who fell in love. But, the way he'd completely fallen apart, the way he'd held me. "It's more than just the vow you made, isn't it?"

A long pause. "Yes."

I'd only known him a number of weeks, and while I couldn't deny that I had feelings, confusing feelings for him, I wasn't ready to label them just yet. And, it wouldn't be fair to him if he told me something he wasn't ready to say because he was too drunk to stop himself.

I pushed myself up. "Can you stand?"

"Absolutely not." He groaned.

"Well, we gotta do something because I can't get all six feet three inches of you all the way across the room and into bed."

He lifted an eyebrow. "What about just the three inches?"

I covered my face with my hand, laughing, his question completely derailing every train of thought I had.

He rolled to his side, and pushed himself up, stumbling as he got to his feet, but I grabbed his arm and put it over my shoulders, wrapping my own around his waist. He nearly fell over twice before we made it to his bed and he sank onto it with a grunt.

I turned, but he caught my wrist, his fingers feather light as they held me. I looked back at him and found him leaning forward, his eyes pleading.

"Stay with me." He begged. "I have no right to ask that, but…please."

I'd already been planning on staying with him. Id told him that I was staying with him. That I wasn't going anywhere. I nodded. "Im going to, uh….change."

He nodded his understanding and released my wrist so that I could turn toward the en suite bathing room. I closed the door and pressed my back to it, my chest heaving as I tried to slow my racing heart. My fingers trembled as I reached up to undo the bindings of my gown, letting it fall in a heap of glittering fabric at my feet, leaving me in a silk and lace chemise.

I tugged the clasp out of my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders, and pulled my fingers through the frizzy mess of what was left of the curls. With one last steadying breath, I stepped out.

The bed was empty, one of its pillows missing, and I found Kylo already on the couch, his chest bare, and his bottom half covered by a thin blanket.

He looked at me, his gaze soft, then it darkened with desire, devouring me. My blood heated and my breathing hitched.

He blinked, then laid down on the couch. "Good night." He said, lacing his fingers together over the blanket covering his stomach, and turned his head away.

I stepped toward the bed, pulled the covers back, and climbed in. I arranged the blanket over me, and called. "Kylo?"

"Hmm?"

"You'll never do anything without my express permission, right?" I asked.

He pushed himself up on his elbows, and looked over the arm of the couch at me. "Never." He said, huskily.

I pulled the covers back. "Come get in bed."

His forehead puckered, and he stared at me for a long, silent moment. "Are you sure?" He rasped.

I nodded.

"Ok, but could you not look?"

I raised an eyebrow, but thought that if I'd made the same request of him, he wouldn't question it, so I laid down, and rolled over on my side, facing the wall.

There was a rustle of fabric, then fumbling footsteps, and the mattress dipped under his weight as he laid down behind me. His body was warm as it molded against mine, and I let him pull me into his arms, his breath tickling my ear.

After several moments, his low, even breathing told me he was asleep.