The next morning, Vicrul was waiting for me in the sparring ring, clad in fighting leathers, the armored plates laying atop each other like scales. I limped toward him, trying to keep the wince off my face, but I was still mentally drained from the day before, and so sore from my first lesson from him that I could hardly move.

We began with the stretches, which apparently I did wrong, my weight misplaced. Even the basic squat was something that I had to relearn. Then control, awareness of my body, my strength, my movements. Learning how to stand, where to position my feet to balance my weight.

He stressed that this was the foundation work, and that if we didn't get it right, I would end up hurting myself when we moved on to anything more intense.

"I have zero interest in explaining to Kylo how I let you get hurt on my watch." He said, his hands on his hips.

His commands were firm, toned from years of training, yet gentle, without the slightest hint of condescension.

After two hours, there wasn't a part of me not sliding with sweat, no muscle in my body not shaking when he finally told me to cool down.

From the sparring ring, I met Ushar in the library, strengthening my shield until my mind felt like jelly.

Sara was more pestering than usual as she scrubbed the sweat and dirt off of me, mostly about the impropriety of my training with men who were not my husband. I ignored her, too spent to do anything else.

When she pushed me into Kylo's bedroom, taking my robe with her, he was waiting, still in his finery.

His brow furrowed when he saw me, and he closed the distance between us in three strides, one massive hand going to cradle my face, the other resting on my hip.

The concern in his eyes made my chest hollow out, and I weakly pulled away from him. He let me go, watching as I stumbled toward his bed and fell into it, curling up in the rich linens that smelled of cedar and citrus.

I was expecting to wake up alone, but when my eyes fluttered open, I heard the splash of water, and sat up to look around. l saw Kylo through the open door of the bathing room, a thick white beard of shaving cream along his jaw. He was shirtless, though he was in his sleep pants, and I watched as his steady hand brought a straight razor to his face.

I moved my hair out of my face and looked down, immediately pulling the sheet up to cover my chest, which was fully visible under the negligee I was wearing.

"Your robe is on the bed." Kylo informed me, and I looked over at him, though he was still studying himself in the mirror, pale skin showing in lines against the white cream with each pass of the blade.

"Are you supposed to be downstairs?" I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.

He washed off the razor in the sink of water. "Yes."

"Why aren't you?"

He brought it up, angling his head back to get to the right side of his neck, not speaking until the swipe was done. "I canceled all my meetings." Water splashed. "And, I thought we could take a day together."

"Doing what?"

There was a scrape of the metal against his skin, up, up, then away when he reached his chin. "Whatever you want."

I scoffed. "Not whatever I want."

Water sloshed, then there was a tink of metal on porcelain. "I doubt you'll come up with anything that can't be done." Another scrape, another splash, then he brought the blade back up with expert precision.

"What if I want to watch sappy romance movies and cry?" I asked.

He opened his jaw, keeping his lips closed so that he could shave around his mouth. When it was done, he said, "I have tissues." Splash. Tink. Then he wiped the blade clean and closed it before putting it in a drawer.

"What if I want to go to the spa and lay around with cucumbers over my eyes?"

"I'll be clean shaven for my facial." He pulled the stopper and turned on the water, bending over to wash his face.

"What if I want to go off-world to watch a sports game?"

He dried himself with a hand towel, and walked out of the bathing room, to stand next to the bed. "I'll get us matching jerseys and paint your face."

I fidgeted with the sheet that I still clutched to my chest. "What if I wanted to stay in bed all day and have you demonstrate things I've read in my novel?"

He hadn't been expecting that. His eyes widened a bit, and my stomach tightened at the desire that I saw blazing in them as he leaned forward. "Say the word." He growled before crushing his lips to mine.

I relaxed my jaw and his tongue swept in, a groan rumbling in the back of his throat that caused an instant throbbing between my legs.

"The word." I breathed, and he pulled away, his russet eyes smoldering.

"I need to know exactly what you want to do so that I don't cross a line." He said, huskily.

But I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted him, wanted his hands and lips and tongue on me, wanted his weight pinning me down, wanted this throbbing need between my legs to be fulfilled. But, I couldn't put that into words.

He stood, and I shivered at the sudden absence of him.

"Are we going to have a conversation detailing everything that I want to engage in before any physical intimacy?" I asked.

"Until I know what you're comfortable with, yes." He said with a nod.

I frowned. "That doesn't sound romantic."

He rubbed his thumbs over his pointer fingers, taking a moment to consider before he said, "Rey, I've had alot of sex, and I'm well aware of what I'm comfortable with, and what I'm not. I can easily communicate both. But, every bit of this is new for you. So, needing to hear what you're willing to do, and what you're not willing to do may seem unromantic, but it's necessary."

I felt my face heat. "Why?"

"Because you need to be fully aware of what you're consenting to." He explained. "The other night, you asked me to kiss you, and then you went to touch me, but you hadn't consented to touching yet, which is why I stopped and asked."

"Do you not want me to touch you?" I asked in a small voice.

"Of course I want you to touch me." He said, his voice soothing. "But I need to know whether or not you want me to touch you, where you want me to touch you, how you want me to touch you."

My brow furrowed. "There's different touches?"

He nodded again. "There's very different touches."

"But I don't know that." I huffed. "I don't know the difference. How am I going to tell you what I want to do when I don't know what they are?"

"What have they done in the book?"

"Im...confused by what they've done in the book."

"Why?"

"Because they...well the woman...she enjoys it."

"Has no one ever told you that sex is enjoyable?"

"No."

He sighed through his nose. "I promised myself I'd never ask this, but I need to know." His voice was soft. "What did they tell you I would do to you?"

I knew how much it bothered him, what I had been told he would do, what everyone thought he did. I didn't want to repeat their lies, their ignorance.

"They told you I would hold you down." He pushed.

"They were wrong." I said, firmly.

He raked his fingers through his hair. "Did they tell you what goes on during sex?"

"Just that it will hurt." I admitted.

His face fell.

"That's true, isn't it?"

He nodded, slightly. "The first time will."

"But….it will be enjoyable?"

His eyes darkened. "Every time with me will be enjoyable." He promised.

I smiled. "Someone thinks highly of himself."

He gave me a predatory grin. "I'm willing to prove it."

I bit my lip, the throbbing tingle returning.

"Have they had sex in the book?" He asked.

I shook my head, my lip still trapped between my teeth.

His eyes narrowed. "Then, what have they done that she finds enjoyable?"

I blushed, letting a breath out before I answered. "They kiss and touch each other." I said. "And, the woman was kissed and touched-" My face blazed, and my gaze dropped.

"The man goes down on her?".

"I don't know what that means." I shook my head. "Goes down?"

"Uh," He thought for a moment. "He kisses and touches her between her legs?"

I'm sure my face was glowing from embarrassment but I nodded.

His voice was like honey when he asked, "Is that what you want me to demonstrate?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, considering. I thought of his head, his hands between my legs. The thought was equal parts exciting and terrifying, and had my heart pounding. "Not...yet."

He was watching my face, his eyes glinting with adoration, waiting for me to elaborate.

"I want you to touch me."

He didn't move, didn't react, though the sparkle in his eyes dimmed, his eyes glazing a bit. "Where?"

I held his gaze, and laid back, making a show of bending my knees so that the sheet fell between my bare legs. "Everywhere not covered by the sheet."

Ravenous, unyielding hunger crossed his face, as he took in my breasts, my nipples peaked against the sheer negligee, the plains of my stomach. His eyes came back to my face, held my stare as he bent his knee, and put it in the mattress, then did the same with the other knee, crawling toward me until he was at my feet.

His hands brushed across my knees, their heat almost singeing as they fanned out, his fingers sweeping down the sensitive skin of my thighs. My body sang at the contact, a dull roaring filling my ears as my pulse raced, and I waited for the blush, for the embarrassment, to creep in.

But, Kylo's now-blazing eyes held me, and I'd never felt more beautiful. So, I swallowed every one of my insecurities with an audible gulp, and slid my legs open in silent invitation. His hands moved, bracing on either side of me as he lowered himself between them, his lips coming down onto mine in a kiss that was open, and deep.

His hand flattened on my stomach, creeping up, to my ribcage, his thumb brushing against the skin under my left breast.

I broke away with a moan, wanting more. More friction, more pressure, more of him, more of something, the ache between my legs so deep and insistent, it was nearly unbearable.

His lips went to my neck, his tongue dragging from my collar bone to my ear, and I bucked against him. He groaned, grinding his hips into me, and I gasped, breaking away, my eyes going wide.

"What?" He demanded, urgently.

I could still feel it, pressed against the apex of my thighs, its heat searing me through the fabric of his pants and the sheet that was still between us. I moved away from him, and he immediately pushed himself up.

"What is it?" He asked, panic laced into his voice.

"When you moved against me." I told him. "I felt something hard."

He sighed in relief, letting his head fall, his forehead pressing against my sternum. "Kriffing hell you scared me."

"What was it?" I asked, confusion knitting my brow.

"It's me." He said, moving his head to look at me. "It happens when people in possession of a penis get excited."

The furrow of my brow deepened. "It's you?"

"Yes." He sighed again, and rolled to the side, off of me. "I should have explained it to you before we started. I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry."

I waited for him to explain now.

"You want a full sex ed talk or the cliff notes?" He asked.

"Full sex ed." I needed to know. And, now was as good of a time as any.

"I knew you were going to say that." He grumbled, and sighed a third time. "Do you know what you have?" His eyes flicked to between my legs. "Down there?"

I wasn't entirely dense. "Yes."

He nodded once. "Good, so you know you have a vagina?"

"Yes."

"And a clit?"

Wait. "What's a clit?"

His eyes widened. "Holy fuck, are you serious?"

My cheeks burned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" He raked a hand through his hair. "Have you never touched yourself?"

The burning spread to my ears. "No."

"Never made yourself come?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What's come?"

"Fuck." He covered his face with his hands. After a few silent moments he moved his hands away. "I'm sorry." He said again. "It's just as soon I think I'm used to how innocent you are, I'm slapped in the fucking face by it." He sat up. "Ok, go get dressed."

I sat up as well. "Why?"

"Because we have two options." He said, pulling a t-shirt on. "Option one is me explaining everything to you and having to show you the best way I can, either on you, me, or some holo-porn." He held a hand up when I opened my mouth to ask. "I know you don't know what holo-porn is, I will explain it later."

"And option two?" I asked.

"Books." He huffed. "Anatomy books, because a romance novel isn't going to teach you shit when it refers to a guy's junk as his 'quivering member'."

I frowned, watching him as he grabbed up his pants and turned toward the bathing room to change out of his pajama pants. "Are you angry with me?"

He spun around to face me so quickly I thought he would lose his balance. "No." He insisted. "No, I am not angry with you."

His cheeks were flushed pink and his nostrils flared. "But you are."

"Im-" He brew a breath out of his nose. "I'm angry at my officials for buying you."

My stomach dropped as if I'd been punched. He was angry because I'd been bought for him? We were back to that?

"No!" He showed me his palms. "No! That's not what I meant!"

I kicked the sheet off and got out of bed.

"No, Rey!" He ran to stand between me and the door. "No, just listen, I didn't mean it like that!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and waited, glaring at him.

"Im angry because your super fucking creepy grandfather locked you up, then sold you. He kept you this innocent to sell you to me, knowing what kind of man I am."

"Dont you fucking dare start with this whole 'I'm a monster' bit because I swear, Kylo-"

"You don't kno-"

"I don't know what?" I demanded. "I don't know about you decentigrating everyone within a hundred foot radius of you? Or shifting the oath the Knights swore to you to protect me from you, because you're terrified of your power being unleashed again?"

He paled, but I went on. "Oh, and I don't know that you can go into someone's mind and rearrange their entire lives? Manipulate their memories? Even kill them if you want to? Or that you were forced to do that for years to scare people into following Snoke?"

"How…" He panted, his forehead crinkled.

"Your friends talk, I listen." I told him. Being seen and not heard was one of the lessons taught to me on how to be a good wife, to please my future husband. But, that meant I'd learned how to observe, and hear more than what they were saying.

"And you still...want me?"His voice cracked.

"Yes, I still want you!" I snapped. "But, sure, tell me about how angry you are that I was bought, that you were forced to marry me, that I'm-"

He roughly pulled me to him and silenced me with a kiss, his hands going to either side of my face. All the other kisses between us had been gentle, tender, laced with desire, though he held himself in check.

This, the way that his lips moved on mine, the press of his body, was passion, it was relief, it was him letting himself feel. And, through that bond we shared, whatever Force voodoo it was between us that allowed him to feel what I felt, it opened up, too.

And on the other side of that Bond was love.

Unshielded, unyielding, unabashed love, and it made my knees tremble.

I gasped, breaking the kiss, though he still held my face in his hands. "Don't ever doubt, Rey." He growled. "Marrying you is the best thing that's ever happened to me." He kissed me again, then pulled away, completely oblivious to what the Force had shown me.

"We'll go get the anatomy books, and food." He said, walking to his closet.

I pinned my hair behind my ear, my hand fluttering down to my throat. Love. I'd never been in love, never thought that love was something that would happen to me. Especially not my husband. How could I be sure that what I felt for him, what I felt him feeling with the Force just now, was love? Was I ready to put a label on what I felt for him? What was between us? I'd asked for time, time that he was most willing to give, but was I ready to leap into this marriage, and all that it entailed? With him? Was this awesome, beautiful, weird, terrifying, thing that we had love?

"Rey?" He called, and I looked up, finding him looking at me. "Are you ok?"

I realized, staring into his bottomless russet orbs, what the hell else would it be?

And, I had my answer.

"Yeah." I said with a nod. "I'm fine."