Both of my hands flew up to cover my mouth as I sucked in an audible gasp. Those in the immediate vicinity of us fled, and the rest of the room grinded to a halt. The music stopped.

Months ago, when Kylo asked me to go to Bespin, he'd said it was because Gavriel could be a powerful ally, or a considerable threat, and that he couldn't afford to have him as an enemy.

And, he'd just punched him in the face.

In the middle of a celebration ball. In front of every royal family in the galaxy.

Because I was stupid enough to tell him what happened. And, now, I'd just cost him an alliance with Gavriel and every other King who was now staring at him with wide eyes and open mouths.

Gavriel had landed on his back, and had gotten his hands under him to push himself up onto his elbows when he went rigid, his body rising unnaturally.

Onlookers gasped and cried out, as Kylo raised a steady hand, his fingers splayed. Gavriel strained against the restraint, sweat beading in his forehead as his face went red.

I put a hand on Kylo's shoulder, and another on his arm, feeling the tension in both. He was someone else entirely, someone I didn't recognize. Not the man who'd cut his thumb to smear his own blood on the sheets, not the man I'd easily laughed and played and flirted with. This was the most powerful Supreme Leader in history, the man everyone thought I was married to.

Guests began to flee as a night black ripple of the Force rolled off of him and filled the room like a fog. He could turn these people to ash with half a thought, and they all knew it.

I rose up on my toes, and leaned in, whispering into his ear, "Come back to me."

He blinked, his head jerking to look at me, his face twisted in frozen rage that thawed the moment his eyes met mine. The power around him stopped, evaporating like wisps of smoke on the water. I smiled, moving a hand to cup his cheek as his pupils flared. "There you are."

Gavriel fell to the floor in a heap and began coughing as he gulped in air.

Realization hit him, and his gaze swept around the room, taking in the faces that stared back at him, all pale and drawn with terror. Absolute devastation crossed his face before he schooled it into a mask of calm. He immediately walked away, the crowd parting widely as he approached the dias.

"King Dravic." He said, his voice clear enough that I heard him from where I still stood in the middle of the room. "You have my most humble apologies for the disruption. A situation has been brought to my attention that needs to be dealt with. Excuse me."

Dravic had taken a defensive stance in front of his Queen, and eyed my husband cautiously. He nodded, visibly shaken, and Kylo turned, walking down the path still cleared for him, to stop in front of me. Without hesitation, without taking my eyes from his, I took the hand he offered me, lacing our fingers together.

The crowds parted as I let him lead me toward the exit.

As soon as we were back in our room, Kylo went to the decanter, something I hadn't seen him touch in weeks, and poured himself a drink. He looked down into the amber liquid, inescapable sorrow on his face that he left there, as if he knew he wasn't strong enough to will it away. "I'm sorry." He said hoarsely. His hands were shaking as he brought the glass up, though he didn't drink. "I should have just walked away, just left with you, but when you...what he did...and before I knew it, before I could stop myself…" He sighed heavily. "I've ruined everything."

I'd never seen him so scattered, so stumbling. But, he was barely holding himself together, his perfectly sculpted facade quickly fractioning. "If he had put you on that transport, if he'd so much as laid a hand on you...I will kill anyone who tries to take you from me." He snarled. "Kill them and take my fucking time doing it." He faced me at last, his eyes glassy. "Go ahead, hate me. Hate the monster they sold you to." He sank into a nearby chair, burying his face in his hand.

I went to him, he didn't resist as I took the glass he still held, putting it back on the table. He looked up, and I combed his hair out of his face with my fingers, then cupped his cheek, tilting his head up, to look at me. "How could I possibly hate you, Kylo?"

He pulled away, and his face crumpled. "I let my temper slip, I wanted to kill him, and you saw that." His voice cracked. "You finally see who you're married to, and it's too much, I'm too much for you." He rubbed his eyes, taking in and letting out a shaking breath. When he spoke again, it was a heavy whisper. "I will never - never make you stay with me."

"I know that." I told him. Even now, with things between us how they were, if I wanted to go, he would let me. It was ironic; the entire galaxy believed that he was controlling me, Supreme Leader with this otherworldly power. Yet the one with the real power, the real control, was me.

"I'll have Kuruk ready the ship." He said, brokenly.

My forehead crinkled. "What? Why?"

"Because I won't keep you in a marriage you don't want!" He yelled, his eyes coming up to meet mine. "I can't."

I sighed, and pulled him to me. His face pressed against my belly, and his arms went around me, his hands flat on the bare skin of my back as he clutched me to him. I stroked his hair. "When did I say that I don't want this marriage?"

His head snapped up, desperation and hope now glinting in his eyes. "What?"

"Yeah, you lost your temper, and yeah, you scared the absolute shit out of everyone in that ballroom, but it was worth it to see Gavriel just fall over like that." I smirked.

He didn't return it.

"But, since you're throwing punches, can I deck Mayea in her perfect, smug face?" I asked.

Something other than sorrow and panic and guilt sparkled in his eyes as they searched mine. "What?"

"Are you asking why I want to punch her?"

His expression didn't change, though his arms loosened around me. "I'm well aware of why you want to punch her, but why do you say that her face is perfect?"

"Because it is." I grumbled.

His brow furrowed.

I sighed in irritation. "She's gorgeous, Kylo. And, you know it." With her blond hair, and her bright green eyes, and her actual curves.

The line between his brows deepened. "Are you….jealous?"

"Well, yeah." I admitted. As foreign as the feeling was, I could recognize it as jealousy.

"There's no reason for you to be." He said, his voice like velvet.

"Isn't there?" I snapped. "You and her have been lovers for...how long? Years?"

He didn't answer.

"She obviously knows how to please you. She's beautiful. She's voluptuous. She's experienced." My face burned and my voice cracked. "And I'm not."

"Rey, listen to me." He begged. "Mayea and I were lovers. Were. That stopped as soon as I met you. And, as far as experience, that doesn't mean anything."

"You can't want a woman that you have to teach everything to, when you have people who already know."

"I don't have to teach you everything." He objected. "I get to experience this with you. I get to watch you explore and discover, and gain confidence in yourself and your body, which is legitimately the sexiest thing I've ever had the privilege of witnessing."

I bit my lip, as I smiled. "You think I'm sexy?"

He blinked, taken aback. "Are you unaware of how I feel about you?"

"Well, you've never said…"

"I tell you quite often how beautiful you are." He reminded me.

I thought back to all those times, including the morning after our first night on Bespin, when he'd confessed that he wanted me, wanted me so badly he couldn't see straight. I just hadn't known what that meant, then. But now, now that I had similar feelings of longing for him, I understood.

"You never need to feel jealous toward Mayea or anyone else." He affirmed. "They're part of my past." He brought a hand up to hold the side of my face. "You're my future."

I leaned in to kiss him, but before my lips could touch his, my stomach growled. I stopped, and he pulled away, looking down.

"Was that you?"

I blushed. "I haven't eaten."

"Like, dinner? Lunch?"

"Breakfast."

His eyebrows shot up. "Breakfast?"

I frowned, realizing how hungry I was.

He stood. "Yeah, the food here is less than appetizing. But, we can go down into the city, if you want. Find something there."

"Down into the city?" I echoed.

He nodded. "I doubt I'm welcome back in the ballroom."

"Like, to a restaurant?" I asked.

He cocked his head to the side.

"I've never been to a restaurant." I admitted, trying not to sound as pathetic as it felt.

"Well, then allow me to take you out." His mouth twisted into a smile, a real smile, laced with happiness. "On a date."

I snickered. "A date?" We'd been married nearly four months and he was asking me out on a date.

"Um-hmm." He hummed in confirmation, and I smiled, taking the hand he held out for me.

The streets were brightly lit as we walked, arm and arm, along a river side walkway. The water was so smooth as I stared out at it, reflecting the city lights like a mirror. Kylo kept his head down as we walked, not wanting anyone to recognize him, lest they might flee in terror, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for him.

I knew him, or was starting to, at least. Ushar, Ap'lek, and Vicrul, three of the most amazing people I'd met, loved him as if they were brothers, and would lay their lives down for him, without question, without hesitation. Yet the galaxy saw him as the vicious dark lord with the ability to bend and break minds. They only saw him for what he'd done, not how or, more importantly, why he'd done it.

We dipped into a restaurant beside the river, built into the lower level of a two story building, and sat down at one of the tiny tables near the kitchen. Kylo ordered, and soon, platters of food were sent out, along with drinks, and we dined, lost in the conversation that came so easily to us.

After several drinks, Kylo paid the tab, and we made our way back to the palace, laughing any time the other stumbled. When we got back into our room, he tripped over an end table and fell onto the floor. I doubled over with hysterical giggles and he reached up, pulling me down to land less than gracefully on top of him.

"I think I'm a little drunk." I confessed.

My hair had fallen down and he gingerly moved it out of my face. "Have you ever been a little drunk?"

I smiled, biting my lip, and shook my head.

"Then how do you know you're not a lot drunk?"

My eyes narrowed as I scowled at him. "I had your scotch, mister.

He smiled warmly. "You had three shots of my scotch, ma'am, and then you promptly threw it all up."

I felt my forehead pucker. "Oh yeah." I remembered. "Maybe I am a lot drunk." I looked at him. "I've seen you a lot drunk before, so I don't think you're a lot drunk."

He scoffed "When have you seen me a lot drunk?"

"Bespin." I said, matter of factly. "When you thought I'd left."

His smile widened. "Oh yeah! I'm not that drunk, but I'm more than like, a little drunk. I'm drunker than a little drunk, but not like drunk drunk."

I erupted into laughter. "What are you talking about?"

He laughed, too. "I don't remember."

I got to my feet, barely. "I'm taking this dress off." And I grabbed the skirt.

"No, wait!" Kylo said. "I can't see you!"

I laughed again. "Why?"

His eyes were wide."Because I haven't seen you!"

"You're seeing me now."

"No, but...without your dress, I haven't seen you."

"You so have to!" I said, stamping my foot. I wiggled, and pulled my dress over my head. But, Kylo had covered his eyes with his palms.

"I'm not looking." He drawled. "I'm not looking."

"I'm not naked!" I laughed. "That's such a funny word. Na-ked." I giggled again. But his palms remained over his eyes. "Kylo." I huffed. "I can't sleep in this, you gotta take it off of me."

"Did you have it on under your dress?"

"Yes."

"I'm not good at taking under things off." He admitted. "I usually rip them with my ogre hands."

"You do not have ogre hands." I said, peeling them away from his face so that I could inspect them. They were beautiful, rough and calloused from weapons I'd never seen him wield. And my mouth went dry as I remembered what they'd felt like on my breasts, my thighs.

I looked at him and found him staring at me. He swallowed. "I'm looking."

"You've seen me in actual underwear." I reminded him. "And, I'm more naked than this in those stupid things Sara makes me wear." I turned my back to him. "Help me outta this."

He grunted as he rose up on his knees, and I felt his hands pull at the back of the low back bustier I wore. It fell free, and I covered my breasts with my bent elbows as I immediately went to bed and climbed in.

"You're not putting on jammies?" Kylo demanded.

"I don't have jammies." I countered. Because stupid Sara and her stupid packing all that stupid lingerie.

He stripped, tripping when he took off his pants, and fell into bed next to me, clad in his underwear.

Exhaustion hit me, heightened by the alcohol I'd had, and I closed my eyes, snuggling down into the blankets.

"Do you know?" Kylo asked.

I cracked my eyes open to look at him. "Know what?"

A quiet beat passed before he said,"That I'm a liar."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, rolling over and propping my head up with my hand. "What did you lie about?" His eyes were huge, dark pools of anger, pain, and regret, and I realized that this wasn't a game we were playing. He may not have been black out hysterics drunk, but he was drunk enough to be honest about things he'd been keeping to himself.

"Being the type of man who falls in love." He said, softly.

My blood chilled, and my breathing caught. "What?"

"I told you, right after we got married, that I wasn't the type." His brow rose slightly. "Do you remember?"

I nodded.

"I'm a liar." He breathed, his lips nearly moving to form the words. "Rey, I-"

I shot up and covered his mouth with my hand. His brows knitted together as he looked up at me in confused panic.

I shook my head. "Don't say it." I begged.

The lines in his forehead deepened.

"That's something I really want to hear you say when you're ready to say it, not when you're too drunk to stop yourself." I told him and shook my head again. "So don't. Not now. Please."

His face smoothed, understanding glinting in his eyes, and he nodded.

I pulled the blanket up to cover us and laid my head on his chest, sighing when I felt his arm go around me.

And we both slept.