GINGERBREAD

Bakugo mashed a giant whisk into a tub of dough and churned it with his explosions. "This batch better not be doughy on the inside, Pillsbury, or I'm adding you to the recipe."

"Cut me some slack!" Sato protested. "I've never made gingerbread this thick before!"

"Excuses!" He stormed over to Mina and asked, "Is that icing going to be ready by this Christmas or the next?"

Mina triumphantly held up a bowl of runny white sugar. "All set! I didn't get any acid in it this time!"

"You better not have, or I'm putting you on gumdrop duty."

Kaminari grimaced as he pulled another purple sphere off of Mineta's head. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You know what you did."

Kaminari hung his head. "Yeah, I do."

"What about me?" Mineta cried out as blood ran down his face. "What did I do?"

As one, the class chorused, "You know what you did."

Mineta crossed his arms and grumbled to himself, "What? Are gingerbread people not allowed to have boobs?"

Out in the dining area, Ojiro, Kirishima, and Dark Shadow heaved giant slabs of gingerbread into place, while Hagakure and a floating Ochako slathered icing all along the seams.

After hours of labor and explosion-punctuated Ramsey-esque rants about gingerbread and peoples' mothers, their masterpiece was complete. Katsuki crossed his arms and stared up at the crenelated fortress of spiced pastry, lined with gingerbread soldiers carrying cookie spears, its shingled rooftops garnished with delicate swirls of icing and powdered sugar.

"Well, Deku?" Katsuki asked. "Are you ready to accept humanity as the superior intelligence on this planet?"

"Humanity has intelligence?" Sero stage-whispered.

Izuku stared blankly at him. "Your gingerbread house is very nice. I like the presence of women among the infantry. Very inclusive."

Katsuki glared at Mineta. The diminutive student grinned smugly and said, "Kaminari fell all too easily to the dark side."

"What about yours?" Katsuki asked. "Where's your gingerbread house?"

"You are currently standing in it."

Everyone looked around in confusion. Sato gave a wall a cursory knock, then licked it. His eyes widened. "Holy crap. The walls are gingerbread."

Kaminari licked the floor. "The floor's gingerbread too!"

Ochako scraped at the ceiling with a fingernail. "Nice job with the rafters, they're perfectly straight."

"It's not just the walls!" Jiro held up a pen, snapped in two. Brown crumbs sprinkled down from inside. "Everything is gingerbread!"

Kirishima punched through a window. "Hey, these are frosted sugar!"

"And mon ami, that is a most dazzling decorative marzipan on the carpet!"

A loud snap brought everyone to a standstill. Ojiro held up his broken tail and stared at it in horror.

"Guys. I'm gingerbread."

Jirou twisted one of her earlobes. "I'm gingerbread too!"

Kaminari ate one of his fingers. "Mmm… I'm delicious!"

As the whole class experienced an existential crisis, Katsuki held up a shaking finger and bent it. It snapped like gingerbread.

Izuku stared curiously at him and asked, "So, who won the gingerbread competition?"

499

"Wait, it's all gingerbread?"

"Always has been."