TREE

"Hurry, it's almost Christmas!"

"But ze ornaments, they need to sparkle, non? Like moi?"

"Aoyama, if you use another bottle of glitter …"

Iida made a chopping motion between Aoyama and Sato. "No ruining the Christmas spirit! The two of you will have no arguments on this most holy of nights, understand?"

"Aren't you arguing with us about arguing?"

Iida's face froze in a shocked expression. Then he bowed so low he slammed his forehead onto the table. "You are correct! I most humbly ask your apologies!"

Sato rubbed the back of his head. "Jeez, now I feel bad."

Ochako dangled weightlessly from the ceiling while Shoji handed ornaments up to her. Turning slightly green, Ochako fought the urge to vomit as she put ornaments on the highest branches of the tree.

"If you vomit, aim it towards the tinsel!" Kaminari called up. "Rainbow colors would look badass on this tree!"

Mineta aimed a pair of binoculars up. "A bit more to the left…" He called out.

"Like this!" Ochako leaned further down.

"Further…"

Ochako leaned over even more. Jiro noticed that Mineta's binoculars weren't aimed at the tree and swiped them away.

"Pull a stunt like that again, and you'll be the cherub on top."

Mineta swallowed. "I'll be good."

On the floor, Dark Shadow and Tokoyami fought over different shades of wrapping paper, Kirishima used two fingers like scissors to cleanly cut his paper into shape, Sero taped the paper in place, and Mina tied pretty ribbons atop them.

"Anyone else got boxes for us to wrap?"

Yaoyorozu got off the phone. "Alfred just brought in the first shipment."

"The first… what?"

A semi truck rammed backwards through the far wall. The back swung open, revealing a butler and neat stacks of boxes crammed into the trailer.

"I do hope you have enough wrapping paper," Alfred said. "The department store you bought up had run out."

"Really? Should I buy a second?"

"Wait, everyone stop!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Shoto. Shoto cleared his throat and pointed at a corkboard full of Deku Ex Machina chapters. "We've reached the point in the drabble where something goes horribly wrong. Where is Deku? He hasn't been mentioned once so far."

The Christmas tree waved a branch. "Here. I am a tree!"

"With his usual bit. Good. Bakugo?"

Ojiro said, "Watching for Robo-Santa. He's still inside the chimney."

"We have a – nevermind. What about Mineta? Is he doing anything horny?"

Tsuyu ribbited. "I took away his binoculars."

"Blindfold him. Not with your tongue. We can't risk this drabble going wrong, not before Christmas. You know the author has it out for us."

"Way ahead of you."

"And that leaves Nezu. Momo?"

"Alfred, the tea."

"Already served, madam. The headmaster sends his compliments."

Shoto turned back to the corkboard. "Did we do it?"

The fourth wall let out a loud groan. It fell backwards onto Izuku, leaving him unharmed, but destroying all the ornaments and presents.

Cementoss shouted, "I'm not fixing that!"

500

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the dorms…

Kirishima: *cracks knuckles* how many times do we need to teach you this lesson old man?