Kylo pov

Amber eyes flecked with green and gold gazed down at me, her hair framing her face in chestnut waves. She reached up to pin it behind her ears as she leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

She smiled at me, the smile that made her cheeks crease and her eyes sparkle. I tried to move, to lift my arms to pull her closer to me, or at least touch her, but they were heavy, weighted, impossible.

"Tell me where you are." I breathed. "Please." I felt warmth returning to my arms, my fingers, and saw a bright light shining behind her as I fought to stay with her. "Tell me how to find you."

Her lips parted, and she began to speak, but the distant voice I heard calling me wasn't hers.

"Kylo! Stay with me!"

Ap'lek.

She faded from my view as the light swept across my vision.

"No, please." I didnt care that I was begging, pleading, or willing to barter the tattered remnants of my soul just to get her back. "Please don't go."

She pressed another kiss to my lips, her thumbs tenderly stroking my cheekbones.

"Come on, Ky! Fight it!"

I was fighting it. Fighting it with everything i had. I was safe here with her, in her arms. I couldn't go back. Not to a life without her.

"Please." I begged again, watching her start to fade, still smiling as she whispered words I'd literally give my life to be able to hear.

The light seared into my head, and I lost her, blinded as it burned my eyes.

Then, the pain was everywhere. I gasped, as a woman's face came into view, hovering above me, blocking the burning light. My eyes focused on her long enough to tell me she wasn't Rey.

Rey wasn't here. She'd never been here.

"Ive got him." She said, and I moved to pull away from her.

"Ky, no." I heard Ap'lek say as warm hands pushed my shoulders down.

I struggled against him, ripping at whatever the woman who wasn't Rey was trying to do.

But, I knew.

She was trying to save me.

And, I didn't want to be saved.

My tongue tasted like copper, and I couldn't speak, couldn't tell my brother to leave me, to let me go back to Rey.

He screamed for Ushar, and then they were both holding me down, the infernal woman on my right trying to reassure me that everything was alright, I was going to be alright.

She didn't know that I'd lost every glimmer of light in my life, and that she was dragging me back into the black abyss of my meaningless existence without it. Without my sun, without my moon, without every single star in between. I'd lost everything when I lost her.

Yet they wanted me to keep breathing when I had no reason to.

A memory sparked of a man, a palace, an ambush, a blaster bolt aimed for my chest. The red glow that I thought would release me from this hell of trying to live without her.

That bolt had fucking failed me.

'Let me go.' I silently sent into Aplek's mind.

His ocean blue eyes were etched with worry and pain as they locked with mine. "I can't." He said. "You're all I have left."