CHAPTER TEN

4x17 Demonology

"Is Emily okay?"

"I don't know, that's why I sent Morgan to go with her."

JJ was shocked, to say the least. She hadn't seen Emily for a couple of days and now apparently one of her old friends had died and she was off with Morgan to meet with the medical examiner. Morgan of all people - the only person who knew about her developing feelings for Emily. But she trusted him with her secret and she trusted him to look after Emily. Hotch seemed worried about her. And he rarely got worried. That's how JJ knew it was serious.

Hotch brought her along with him to the victim's parents house. Looking at the older couple, JJ tried to imagine what they looked like when Emily was young. These people standing in front of her knew Emily in a way that she probably never would. Before she was Special Agent Emily Prentiss. When she was just a kid. JJ's mind wandered briefly but she pulled her attention back to the case. This was about helping her colleague, not to satisfy her own personal curiosity.

"Were you aware that in the days before he died Matthew thought someone was going to kill him?" Hotch inquired.

Matthew's father looked shocked, "Where did you hear that?"

"One of our team members, Agent Prentiss," JJ answered tentatively. Emily had specifically told them not to mention her name. But if they were truly old friends, bringing her up would likely make them more willing to cooperate.

Matthew's mother whipped her head in JJ's direction like she had just been insulted, "Emily Prentiss?"

"Yes ma'am."

"She's the reason you're here?" Came the man's voice.

"We'd like you both to leave. Now."

Hotch hesitated, but complied with the woman's request. JJ's mind was spinning. That was definitely not the reaction she had expected. And definitly not a positive reaction. Matthew's parents had thrown them out of their house just because they knew Emily. What would they have done to her?

"Hey, Em. Buy you a coffee?" JJ kept walking, not waiting for the other woman to answer her. Emily was a little taken aback by JJ's tone. It was like she wasn't asking, she was telling Emily to follow her. Emily caught up to her at the elevator and they silently boarded.

"There are, uh, nicer places to take a girl for coffee," Emily mumbled cynically. "Why did you bring me here?"

"You're sure he was murdered," JJ said. "So what's the story?" JJ wanted to know what was going on more than anything. This boy, whoever he was, meant a lot to Emily. Meant so much in fact, that her unwavering composure was breaking. It hurt JJ to see the pain and anguish in her eyes.

Emily sighed and turned around. She didn't want to lose JJ's respect. She didn't want JJ to look at her the way Matthew's parents did.

"If you don't want to explain, that's fine. But if you do, I'm all in," she said gently.

"Matthew knew the bible inside and out, and he started to question everything."

"Why?"

"We moved around a lot when I was a kid because of my mom's postings," Emily could feel the lump in her throat and the tears brimming her eyes. Her voice started to tremble uncontrollably. "It was hard to get accepted… and when you're 15 that's all you want. You'll do almost anything."

Then it hit JJ. She read between the lines. "You got pregnant," she said. She said it like a statement.

"Yeah," Emily choked out, breaking eye contact.

"Was Matthew the father?" JJ didn't know if she really wanted to know the answer to that question.

"No. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell my mom. Matthew suggested I talk with our priest."

"And what did he say?"

"Well, he said that if I had an abortion, I wasn't welcome in his congregation." JJ's heart broke for Emily. She could see it so clear - a scared 15-year-old girl with no one to turn to and nowhere to go. She wished Emily never had to go through that.

"So what'd you do?"

"Matthew found a doctor. He took me there. He stayed with me. That Sunday when we got back to Rome, he held my hand and walked me into the church. Father Gamino actually stopped his sermon, but Matthew told me to hold my head up and we walked to the front pew."

"What did the priest do?"

"He and Matthew just stared at each other. It was like a battle of wills, and - and then suddenly Father Gamino went back to his sermon. Matthew saved my life. He made me feel like I was worthy of - love and friendship."

"But that's when his anger and questioning started?"

"Yeah. He started doing drugs. And when that melded with his religious questioning, you could understand why his parents were afraid he was possessed by something evil. It's my fault. That Matthew's life unraveled."

She wanted to hug JJ. Her legs felt shaky and she longed for JJ's stability. But she didn't move from her spot. The way that JJ looked at her hadn't changed since her confession, but part of Emily still didn't believe that JJ wasn't affected by what she had just told her. JJ was from a small, rural town. Emily didn't know how she felt about abortion.

JJ took in a deep breath, "Garcia uncovered some information. It's possible Matthew and the others killed someone in Spain."

"No. I don't believe that."

"I'm just saying, if we keep pushing, you have to be prepared for what we might discover."

"I need Matthew to rest in peace. I owe him that."

Emily's hands were shaking violently. She was having trouble holding her coffee. JJ wanted to reach out and steady her, but didn't know if Emily wanted to be touched. Emily never really opened up to anyone. JJ knew she had trust issues - and JJ was glad that she was willing to open up to her. Somehow JJ felt like she didn't deserve this level of trust. She hadn't even told Emily she broke up with Will. Everyone suspected that she had. She would catch them talking about it from time to time. But she never confirmed nor denied it. She didn't even have the courage to say it out loud.

They got back in the car and headed back towards the station. JJ was driving and neither of them were talking.

Suddenly JJ said, "I broke up with Will." Emily turned to look at her. JJ could feel her eyes. "A while ago, actually."

Emily hesitated but after a moment, JJ felt her hand on her's. Their fingers interlaced instinctively.

"I know," Emily said back. Between the warmth of her hand and the tenderness of her voice, it took all of JJ's resolve to keep her eyes on the road.

JJ watched as the haggard man talked with Emily. She looked like she was still in shock. JJ had arrived on scene after all the action was over but she heard from Hotch what had happened. She waited nervously for Emily to come out of the house. But when she finally had, the man, John Cooley, had stopped to talk to her. She was looking at him, conflicted in her eyes. Then JJ watched as the man leaned to her and kissed her cheek.

She suddenly looked away from the two, realizing that perhaps this was not her moment to witness. Also realzing who was the baby's father. JJ saunted up to Emily as casually as she could. Emily'ds eyes were still in a haze. She was thinking hard.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked.

"You ever seen The Dead?" She responded back, cryptically.

JJ nodded, "yeah."

"When Greta remembers the boy she loved when she was younger. And she says… 'I think he died for me.'"

JJ understood what she meant. The real Matthew - the one that Emily loved had disappeared many years ago. But she was still grieving him. Still blaming herself for his life's downward spiral. Whether it was right or not, Emily still felt like Matthew sacrificed himself to save her. JJ didn't know what to say to releave her suffering.

"Where can I drop you?" She offered, secretly hoping that Emily would want her company.

"I'm gonna walk for awhile."

As much as she wanted to succumb to JJ's familiar safety she couldn't tonight. Tonight was about Matthew. She had to grieve for him. Emily walked through the snowy D.C. streets for hours. By the time she made her way home she finally felt clean.