CHAPTER TWELVE

5x01 Nameless, Faceless

The first thing she noticed was that she was warm. Perfectly comfortable, surrounded by Emily's bed sheets and enveloped in Emily's arms. JJ opened her eyes to gentle sunlight streaming through the blinds. They had shifted in their sleep - JJ's head was now resting on Emily's shoulder, her arm wrapped around her waist. If there was a heaven, she imagined it would be a lot like this. Emily was still sleeping, breathing peacefully. This was one of the few times JJ had ever seen her this unguarded. JJ briefly wondered if Emily wanted this level of closeness. JJ had come clean about her feelings - but Emily hadn't reciprocated. Was it possible that Emily was just being a supportive friend? Perhaps she had seen JJ break down and did the honorable thing - letting her stay the night and comforting her. Maybe that's all it was. JJ's peace faded into worry. Her heart started to race.

But JJ didn't have long to worry because she felt Emily begin to shift. Her breathing changed and her grip on JJ tightened slightly.

"Hey," Emily whispered softly.

JJ picked her head up awkwardly and removed herself from Emily, "Hi - uh - how did you sleep?" But all Emily did was stare at JJ - stared at her with a look so intense it was clear they were not going to make small talk this morning. JJ took a deep breath, "I meant what I said, Emily. It's not about the case. I am certain of how I feel for you."

Emily looked up into the blue eyes that had haunted her for years, "I feel the same way. I have for a long time."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Why didn't you?" Emily responded gently, sadly. JJ understood.

They were both too afraid to lose each other to say anything. It was tragic. JJ put a shaking hand on Emily's cheek. She was nervous - this was still so unexplored. Still so delicate. JJ leaned in but hesitated - she wanted to make sure that Emily was okay with it. And it was Emily who reached up and closed the distance between them. Kissing JJ was even more intoxicating than she could have imagined. Emily felt like she couldn't trust her senses - felt like there was no way that this was actually happening. She would wake up from her dream any second now - to a dark, cold, empty room. But the kiss deepened and Emily still hadn't woken up. She tangled her fingers into JJ's hair. When JJ pulled back to catch her breath, she rested her forehead on Emily's, keeping her eyes closed.

JJ could barely think. She could barely breathe. She had never felt this way before. It was the same feeling she got from just being around Emily, but multiplied by 100. It was consuming. It was profound. When she pulled away from Emily, she didn't go far. JJ kept her eyes closed using her other senses to take in Emily. She wanted to memorize her scent, her touch. It was all new, yet so familiar. JJ's lips found their way to Emily's jaw and then her neck. She stopped there - just breathing her in.

"Jay -" Emily said, but her breath hitched. JJ smiled into her neck then pulled back to look at Emily's face. Emily smiled too. It made JJ feel warm.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," JJ whispered happily.

"What does this mean, JJ?"

"What do you mean?"

"I… As much as I want this - I don't want it if it's only a one time thing. I don't want us to stop being friends - I want -"

"A relationship?"

Emily frowned anxiously. She was damaged goods. More damaged than any of her co-workers knew. A relationship was a forgein concept to Emily. But JJ was right - a relationship was what she wanted. She didn't want this to be causal. She didn't want to turn into friends with benefits. Or worse - stop being friends all together. Not with JJ. She was too important.

JJ studied her silence and furrowed her brow, confused, before something seemed to dawn on her, "You've never done this before."

"No - no I've never done this before…" Emily admitted softly. It made her feel vulnerable to admit something like that. Emily didn't count Ian. She couldn't.

JJ opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the ringing of a cell phone. Both women sighed. Neither made a move to pick up the phone for the first two rings but JJ flashed Emily an apologetic smile and picked up her phone.

"Hey, Pen. Yeah… yeah I'll be right there." JJ hung up her phone and sighed again. "We have a case. She'll be calling you any second." JJ dropped her head leaning her forehead against Emily's shoulder. Emily's phone rang.

"Prentiss." Emily felt JJ's lips press against her neck again, and she had to close her eyes to focus on talking to Garcia. "Yes. I can be there in 20. Okay. See you soon." Emily hung up quickly and JJ laughed at Emily's expression.

"Do not do that again. Garcia has ways." Emily said, laughing too.

"Emily Prentiss," JJ said standing up and getting out of bed, a smile on her lips, "I absolutely will be doing that again."

20 minutes later they arrived at the crime scene. The entire drive to the scene JJ was on the phone with a local detective, who was filling her in on the case. Emily glanced over at the woman next to her. She was wearing Emily's clothes, hoping that nobody would notice. It would be more suspicious to show up in the clothes she wore the previous day. JJ finally hung up the phone as they parked.

"It's urgent."

JJ went to the school with Morgan to protect the boy but Emily couldn't shake the horrible gut feeling that something was wrong with Hotch. It wasn't like him to stop answering his phone. It wasn't like him to leave his team on their own.

Emily closed the door of the SUV and made her way up to Hotch's apartment. It wasn't long before she discovered the blood and the broken glass, and Hotch's cell phone underneath the kitchen table. She called Garcia.

"I'm going to have to tell Reid because he's expecting me back but you cannot tell the others. They cannot be distracted," Emily told her. She didn't like the idea of lying to her team but it was the right call. She wondered what JJ would think.

JJ ran up the yard to get to Spencer. He was on the ground bleeding from a gunshot wound in his leg.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine," he said, quickly dismissing the question. "You need to find Emily. Call Emily."

"Where is she?" David asked, confused.

"Something's happened to Hotch."

JJ looked at her friend confused and worried. At first, she thought something had happened to Emily. The adrenaline was coursing through her veins. The thought of losing her was even more terrifying than it had been 24 hours ago. She got a taste of Emily and she wanted more. More time with Emily. She couldn't lose her now.

JJ felt herself relax when she saw her sitting by Hotch's hospital bed. They made eye contact and Emily immediately stood up. JJ became hyper-aware that Derek was with them. She wondered if he could tell things had changed between them. But if he could, he didn't let on.

Hours later, the three of them watched as Hailey and Jack drove away to go into witness protection. Emily's heart broke for her boss. He had no choice but to send his family away. And he had no idea when they'd be able to come back - if they ever could. Emily felt JJ lean against her arm. They weren't alone but it was her way of comforting her. Emily turned her head and met JJ's eyes staring back at her. JJ looked at her in a way that she never had before. It made Emily's chest flutter.

At Derek's voice they both looked over at him. He was hurting - in his own world, unable to register the moment that just happened between the two women. He was feeling guilty that Foyet outfoxed them - again. Emily did her best to comfort their friend and JJ's heart swelled. She loved Emily. She loved her. She was good. She made the people around her feel good. JJ revelled at the mere fact that she was who Emily wanted. JJ wanted nothing but for their day to be over. She wanted to pick up where they left off that morning. She wanted to know if Emily felt the same way.

Emily sighed, thankfully. Three straight hours of paperwork and her brain was fried. She glanced at the clock. It read 7:30. Turning her head in the opposite direction she looked into JJ's office. The blonde's head was hanging over some paperwork of her own. They hadn't talked about what the plan was for that evening. She wanted JJ to come back to her apartment. She wanted to continue their conversation. Emily had never let her walls down as much as she had that morning with JJ. She felt exposed - and vulnerable. But she knew if she wanted JJ, she had to trust her. And she did want JJ. In a way she never wanted anyone else before. She wanted to talk to her, and laugh with her, and breathe her in. She wanted to kiss her and touch her. She wanted her.

Emily swallowed hard and stood up to walk over to JJ's office. She closed the door behind her and JJ immediately dropped her pen upon seeing who her visitor was. JJ smiled softly - genuinely.

"Hey."

"Long day," Emily said in a whisper.

"Long day," JJ agreed, leaning back in her chair. They stared at each other for a long moment. JJ tilted her head to the side and smiled, biting her lip. Emily melted. "You wanna get out of here?"

"So badly," Emily said with a nervous smile. JJ stood and grabbed the suit jacket off the back of her chair. JJ had been wearing Emily's clothes all day, yet she was still not used to the buzz it gave her.

"My place? I can't show up in your clothes again," JJ said through a smile in a hushed voice. Even though the door of the office was closed, they knew the BAU was always listening.

30 minutes later they were on their way up the elevator to JJ's apartment. Emily's hand itched to hold JJ's but she decided not to reach for her's. They need to talk first.

Emily watched JJ unlock her door silently. She still felt like this couldn't be real. Like she was dreaming. Once inside, they both took off their shoes and jackets, and JJ wasted no time grabbing Emily's hand, dragging her over to the couch. Emily was silently thankful for JJ's willingness to take the lead. In every other relationship, it had been the other way around. Emily wanted to be in control. But JJ made her nervous and unsure of herself. It was a new and scary feeling. But also an exciting one. Emily welcomed it.

They sat down and Emily thought she saw nervous hesitation in JJ's eyes. She took a deep breath.

"So… what does this mean, Emily?"

Emily paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "You were right - I've never done this before. I've never wanted to stick around long enough to let myself get hurt. But I want to. With you, I want to."

JJ smiled tenderly, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Emily forced a smile. JJ seemed so sure of herself. But Emily knew that JJ could - hurt her. She was about the only person who could.

JJ sensed her unease. "I'm in this, Emily."

"And we'll talk?"

"All the time. You'll be sick of me, we'll talk so much."

Emily smiled appreciatively; the glint in her eyes made JJ's breath catch. This time it was Emily who leaned into her. She paused, just like JJ had that morning. She was inches from her face, tormenting JJ with her proximity. JJ closed the space between them and she was back in the bliss she had felt that morning - kissing Emily. JJ's entire world was reduced to only Emily. To her lips. Her hands. One was on her neck, the other her waist.

Emily felt like her heart was going to explode from the exhilaration that was JJ kissing her. Emily had accepted her fate months ago. She had accepted that it was her destiny to love this woman regardless of how she felt for her. But now - Emily knew JJ had the power to destroy her. To completely devastate her. It was a dangerously addicting sensation.

JJ pulled her lips away from Emily's and caught her breath. Her normally bright blue eyes had darkened wildly. It left Emily speechless.

"Em - I've never… with a woman - I've never," JJ stuttered apprehensively.

Emily nodded supportively. "That's okay. I've only ever once. Nothing has to happen tonight."

JJ nodded, thankfully. The blonde stood from the couch, never breaking eye contact with Emily. "Come to bed with me," she whispered hoarsely. Emily stood and took JJ's hand.