Chapter Thirty-seven: Pulling the Pin

August 1943

Several dates in and Emma was having the time of her life. Bucky hadn't kissed her yet but she didn't know what to expect with dating in the forties. Maybe this is what they did. She had sent a letter to Peggy about it and all she had told her was that she was on the right track, whatever that meant. Peggy did tell her some of the things that women did for men in the forties during the middle of a war.

Now, Emma understood why Peggy had her picture taken a while back. It was during their fourth date that Bucky had told her they would be shipping out the next day for their first mission. They had come to the same place they went on their first date, they had enjoyed it that much. It was affordable and pleasant. The owners were already starting to know them by name.

"You really have to go," Emma stated sadly.

"I have my orders and even if I didn't I would still go. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let my men go into battle without extra back up," Bucky replied.

They sat in the corner booth in the back and though there were quite a few people in the restaurant, it felt like just the two of them. Emma had been pulled into his arms with her legs intertwined with his. Her body molded perfectly to his, this was where she belonged. Emma raised a hand and stroked his cheek. He leaned into his cheek. He leaned into her touch.

"You're a great man," Emma said. "I do wish that we could stay here forever."

"As do I, rosebud," Bucky said, leaning his forehead against hers and she smiled.

"I have something for you," Emma said and pulled a folded piece of cloth from her purse.

Bucky grinned as he took the folded piece of handkerchief. There was an embroidered rose on the corner of the cloth and his grin widened. He opened it up to see a photograph in a clear sleeve. It was a photo of her wearing a lovely flowered dress and gazing lovingly at the camera. There was a message on the back of the photo:

So, you can carry me with you. Always. -Rosebud

He tucked the photo and his handkerchief in his breast pocket, turning his gaze to Emma. He put both hands on either side of her face and kissed her lips softly. It was the best kiss of her life. His lips fit perfectly against hers and moved just as well. Bucky broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. Emma smiled so wide she thought she might just showing all of her teeth. She felt this way. She was starting to fall for him and it scared her how easily that could happen. Was this supposed to happen? Was she supposed to come back and fall for Bucky Barnes. Peggy said she was on the right track so Emma had to trust her and herself.

Emma said goodnight and goodbye to Bucky when he walked her back to her quarters that night. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and never wanted to let him go. She couldn't remember when he would be taken by Hydra but he knew it would be sometime soon. Bucky pulled slightly away from the hug and brought her into a kiss. This time he brushed his tongue to her lips, asking for entrance and Emma allowed it. His tongue danced with hers. Pretty soon, they broke apart gasping for breath.

"I'll come back to you," Bucky said. "I promise."

"You can't make a promise like that," Emma said. "Not in this war."

"I promise to try then," Bucky replied.

Emma entered her tent, a place she shared with another nurse. Dotty Davis was a nice woman, a little loud and obnoxious at times, but she was nice.

"OH my God! Someone is smitten like a kitten!" Dotty exclaimed.

She had dark red hair and the biggest blue eyes of anyone she has ever met. She had the appearance of Jessica Rabbit and the voice of Janice from Friends. It was a weird combination but oddly enough it had suited her.

"I think I am, Dotty," Emma grinned as she threw herself on her bed. "How are things with Frank?"

Dotty thinned her plump lips which meant that she had some gossip to spill. Emma narrowed her eyes at her friend. Dotty squealed, clapping her hands together.

"Oh, I can't keep it in any longer! Frank's asked me to marry him and I said yes!" Dotty exclaimed.

Emma squealed along with her and they danced around their tent. They threw their cares and worries away as they jumped around. They didn't think about the war or what would come out of it, just the bright possibilities of their futures. The next day Bucky and his men, along with Frank, went off to fight. They weren't given any information about what they were doing so all they could was wait for their men to come back. It set both Dotty and Emma on edge. They tried to keep each other busy but nothing seemed to help keep their worries at bay.

Several days passed when the men came back. The mission was completed but not without casualties. Bucky had returned in one piece but Frank hadn't been so lucky. Bucky came in with the wounded and hugged Emma tightly but quickly. He moved away when Dotty appeared. It wasn't the right time to tell her but she needed to know.

"Bucky! I'm so glad you're alright! Where's Frankie?" Dotty exclaimed with a hopeful look on her face.

"Dotty. . .," Bucky said softly and pulling her off to the side. "Frank, he didn't make it. He caught heavy fire defending us from the enemy. He died instantly. I am so sorry, he was a great man. He saved us all."

Bucky managed to catch her before her knees hit the floor. It wasn't the haunting look or the tears that came from Dotty that sent an icy chill to Emma's heart. It was the utter wail of despair that escaped from Dotty, as though all the good in the world was gone forever. Emma took her in her arms and held her as she cried until their head nurse came to take her to a more private place to grieve. Emma looked at Bucky, both of them lost, and he pulled her into his arms. They wanted to stay there as long as possible but then they had to go back to work. There were people that still needed their help.

The next evening Emma found herself laying exhausted in her tent. She never worked so hard in her life. There had been several wounded and some of them didn't make it. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. Emma couldn't get the sound of Dotty's cries out of her head and her heart clenched painfully everything. Dotty was currently in the head nurse's tent dealing with her grief while the other nurses helped pick up her shift and duties, Emma included.

Emma knew that one day she would have to say goodbye to Bucky, that she would have to let him fall off that train. . .no, she couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't let him fall. She couldn't let the man she loved become the Winter Soldier. The man she loved. Emma jumped up from her cot and began pacing. There was no doubt about it. She was in love with Bucky Barnes. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on her tent door. She opened to find Bucky standing there and it looked like he had been crying. Emma hurried to let him in and closed the door behind him.

"Bucky, what's-," she began UT was interrupted by Bucky pulling her into a tight hug.

"I love you," he said and broke the hug, looking at her. "I'm sorry. I should have said something before."

"I love you too. Bucky, are you only saying this because of what happened to Frank?" Emma asked.

"No! I mean, yes, but that doesn't mean that it's not true," he said. "I do love you. I just wanted you to know in case something happened to me."

"I love you, Bucky Barnes," she said and pulled him in for a kiss.

Bucky leaned into the kiss and then pulled away, taking something out of his pocket.

"I wanted to give you something. It's a pulling pin from a grenade that saved our lives. It gave us time to get away and drove the enemy back. In a way, it brought me back to you. I worked on it a bit to form it into more of a ring," Bucky said. "I hope it fits but if it doesn't I can always fix that."

"A ring?" Emma asked in surprise.

Bucky went down on one knee before her, holding out the ring.

"I know we've only been seeing each other for a couple of months but I already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know for some people it takes longer for them to know that but not for me and I don't think for you either. I want to spend what time we have left as husband and wife, and spend it every day discovering something new about each other. Isn't that what marriage is all about? Going on an adventure together. It's one I want to take with you and only you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Emma thought of all the ways and reasons she should say no but she rejected everyone of them. She didn't want to say no, she wanted to marry Bucky Barnes and she didn't have any doubts about that.

"Yes, I'll marry you," she grinned and he slipped the ring on her finger, it was a perfect fit.

"I can get you another ring once I am able to," Bucky said sheepishly.

"Don't you dare," Emma said, holding it to her chest. "I love this one."

Bucky pulled her into a kiss and she melted into it. She loved Bucky and there wasn't anything that would stop her from marrying him. Nothing. She was going to save him and give him the life he deserved.