CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

9x04 To Bear Witness

"1:32. Faster than last time," Matt gasped from behind her. JJ leaned down to drink some water from the fountain.

"It helps when someone's chasing me," JJ said, out of breath. She watched him carefully as he drank from the fountain too.

"It's more about your competitive nature, if you ask me," Matt responded. JJ narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, I didn't," JJ replied, looking down. Perhaps that was a little harsh. But this felt wrong. She felt it in her bones.

"We should do this every morning," he suggested. No, they shouldn't. She should be with Emily. With her wife...

"Come on, Matt, I can't make plans that far in the future." JJ replied, in an effort to keep things casual.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you have commitment issues."

JJ smiled humorlessly at his comment, "Well, good thing you know better." JJ didn't like this. She didn't like lying to Emily. It felt like cheating - even though she wasn't. She wouldn't. "Look, we really - uh - we really shouldn't meet like this." JJ glanced around. She was getting paranoid. She felt like people were watching them.

"I know. But, uh, we gotta talk about some things. Want to grab breakfast?"

JJ checked her phone. She had time. And Emily wouldn't expect her home before work anyway. "Yeah, okay," she agreed hesitantly. Checking to make sure her wife wouldn't be suspicious…? That's what people did when they cheated.

There was something about the way Matt said things - it always made her wonder what he was really thinking. They were friends… and after what happened three years ago, they would always be tied together. But still - there was something about him that made her uncomfortable at times.

JJ walked into the BAU with her bag slung over her shoulder. Out of habit, her eyes immediately went to Emily's desk. She was already there, neck deep in paperwork and, if her bouncing knee was any indication, deep into her third cup of coffee too.

JJ went and took a seat at her own desk, sighing heavily. She was just opening a case file when she felt a hand run across her back. JJ jolted and snapped her head up suddenly. Emily looked at her with her eyebrows raised.

"A little jumpy, huh?"

JJ smiled nervously, "Uh - yeah… sorry."

"So, you don't need this?" Emily held up a mug of coffee.

"Coffee? I always need coffee."

"I figured," Emily smiled knowingly, as JJ took the mug from her hands. JJ looked over at her wife, conflicted. She didn't know what to do. She knew what she wanted to do. But that didn't really matter.

"Hey, Em…?" She began.

"Yeah?" Emily gave her her full attention. JJ could see it in her eyes - she wasn't suspicious at all. In fact, Emily looked lighter at that moment than JJ had seen her in a very long time. The truth was - there were a lot of perfectly logical reasons to not tell Emily. She didn't have clearance, it would put her in danger, it would put Matt in danger - but none of those really mattered to JJ at that moment. She didn't tell her because she couldn't. She didn't want to let her down. She was being a coward.

"Nothing," JJ finally answered. "Thank you for my coffee."

She gave Emily a smile. The kind of smile she knew would distract her. And from the subtle blush rising to her cheeks, JJ knew it worked. But as soon as Emily turned to go back to her desk, JJ's smile dropped. She closed her eyes painfully and took a deep breath in.

JJ did a double take when he walked through the door. She was suddenly hyperware of her wife sitting right next to her.

"Everyone, this is our new section chief. This is agent Mateo Cruz," Hotch said professionally. JJ looked down. This was going to be a very long day.

Everyone cleared out of the conference room and JJ made a point to close her file slowly and stand up. "You could've mentioned this."

"I thought you liked surprises," he said back. The words were playful, but the expression on his face was not. "Seriously, I got word minutes after we had breakfast." JJ nodded politely and began to walk away when he spoke again. "I'm surprised Strauss was okay with you and Prentiss being on the same team…"

"I think you can trust her judgment," JJ said pointedly, turning back in his direction before exiting the conference room. She didn't like this.

JJ spent most of the day trying to exude professionalism. She would pretend like she hadn't met him before this morning in the conference room. Be polite. Smile. Make small talk. But separating what she was supposed to know about Matt and what she did know was proving difficult. Especially when surrounded by people who study behavior for a living. It was only a matter of time before one of them slipped up. They acted too friendly. Revealed that they knew too much. She couldn't let that happen - and yet she knew it would.

JJ sighed and walked towards the elevator. Emily was waiting for her downstairs. She was in the middle of typing out a message to her when she heard his voice.

"You always here this late?"

"Pretty much, yeah." JJ sighed. "Every time your name was mentioned today and every time I didn't say, 'Hey, yeah, I know him.' I'm lying." She felt like a hypocrite. She had been angry at Emily when she didn't tell her about Lauren Reynolds. Now she was doing the exact same thing.

"I know it's not easy. I don't like it either."

"We're surrounded by profilers, Matt. Hell, I'm married to one. One side glance and they're gonna figure it all out."

"Are you worried about…?" JJ knew what he was asking. But he didn't finish the question. Instead he took a breath and said, "Well, separating us in the field was smart."

"It was the only way. Look, I - I know why we can't tell them. I get that, but… We can't have too many of these conversations either."

"That case could stay open for a couple years…"

"It's already been almost three." She paused. But she needed to ask. JJ met his eyes. "Did you take this position because of me?"

"No. Trust me, I walked into the Hoover Building this morning and was told to drive out to Quantico immediately. Someone put this transfer on the fast track." Matt glanced behind him, "This, um… us… we're good, right?"

"Yeah," she said with a small smile.

"Okay. You wanna meet at the Air and Space in the morning? Run some sprints?"

"I'm gonna have breakfast with my wife…" JJ countered pointedly. Matt smiled tightly.

Out of nowhere it seemed, David Rossi appeared behind them. He glanced at the untouched elevator buttons and then between the two of them. This was exactly the kind of moment that JJ was worried about. If David had been able to figure out that Emily faked her own death, he surely would be able to piece this together.

"Great plan," Matt said awkwardly, turning his body away from JJ, while she looked down at her feet. David glanced between them again as he pushed the button. She and David got on the elevator together. Matt retreated back into the office.

"You good?" David asked. She knew he was suspicious, but he was playing dumb. If she hadn't been so grateful for it, it would've been condescending.

"Yeah, I'm good."

Later that evening, Emily rolled over in bed and wrapped an arm around JJ. She breathed her in.

"You smell different," Emily murmured, sleepily into her ear. JJ's eyes snapped open.

"I do?"

"Yeah… I think it's your hair or something."

"I used a different shampoo. That's probably it," JJ said quickly. It was the truth - and yet, she couldn't help but feel like Emily was onto her. This was ridiculous. Matt had only been at the BAU for one day and she was already this paranoid. Emily kissed JJ's head sleepily.

"I like the old one better."