CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

9x21 What Happens In Mecklinburg

JJ had just finished making her tea. She slowly made her way through the jet holding the hot cup gingerly. Emily was near the front. It was clear that she was trying to close her eyes and rest but Spencer was on a tear translating his favorite parts of his book from Russian to English. She smiled as she passed and raised her eyebrows. Emily looked up and made eye contact with her, shooting her a desperate look before turning back to Spencer and smiling politely. JJ just chuckled and continued walking.

Things were better. So much better. But still not back to the way they were. Most nights JJ desired to lay close to Emily. The anxiety was lessening every time Emily wrapped her arms around her. The nightmares weren't gone - but he didn't come every night anymore. When he did, JJ took great comfort in the way Emily pulled her in, rubbing her back softly, and whispering words of openhearted affection. On a few occasions, JJ had leaned in to kiss her softly. Emily always let JJ make the first move. She always let her set the pace.

JJ found herself in the very back of the plane sitting across from Derek. He looked distracted. Again. JJ narrowed her eyes.

"Everything all right?"

He hesitated. "Yeah."

"I noticed you've been a little distracted lately. Person, place, or thing?"

"Person…"

"Oh. Is it S.D.U. time already?" Derek looked at her confused and JJ couldn't help but smile a little.

"S.D. - excuse me?"

"S.D.U. She doesn't understand." JJ started trying her best to impersonate Derek's voice. Emily was definitely better at it. "Yo, she doesn't understand our schedule. Yo, baby girl, she doesn't understand how hard our job is."

"I do not sound like that," Derek responded with half-hearted exasperation. JJ continued.

"Anyway, S.D.U. usually hits around the 5 or 6-month mark. That's where you break up with a girlfriend, or more likely, you force her to break up with you, so you're not that bad guy."

"Damn, you don't pull any punches, do you?"

"Look, it's really quite simple. You either want a relationship or you don't. And if you don't, accept the fact that you might be alone forever."

Derek paused and dropped his eyes. "How do you and Emily do it?"

JJ could have laughed at the question. She didn't feel like she was in a place to give out relationship advice right now. She didn't even know why she started giving him a hard time in the first place. Maybe it was that she truly wanted Derek to be happy. He had a big part in helping her understand her feelings for Emily. And deep down, she always felt like she owed him something. JJ sighed.

"It's hard. I mean - it does help that we work together. But still - chasing down psychopaths isn't exactly what I'd call a 'date night.'" JJ glanced in her wife's direction. She was nodding indolently as Spencer waxed on. JJ smiled to herself and continued. "It takes a lot of effort. But work is what makes it work."

"I guess this is the part where you tell me it's worth it."

Derek tilted his head to the side as a ghost of a smile played on JJ's lips. She may have been profiling him but he was giving it back.

"Look, we're not the only ones with demanding jobs, Derek. So you need to ask yourself, what are you really afraid of?"

"You know, I think I liked you better when you were the press liaison."

JJ narrowed her eyes playfully, "No, you didn't."