Bury me
You thought your problems were gone
Carry me
Away, away, away
Swing, swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love.
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again
-The All-American Rejects "Swing, Swing"
She kept saying that she wanted to figure out her own heart before acting. The thing was, she knew her heart. She had just been afraid to admit it even to herself - she had fallen for Nathan Grant.
As charming as Lucas was, Nathan was more genuine. He was steady and caring. He had taken on the responsibility of his niece despite the grief of losing his sister.
But he was a Mountie.
That was what had scared her. She was afraid of losing Nathan like she had Jack. She hadn't consciously realized that until she was talking with Clara. She meant it when she had told Clara that even knowing how it ended she would do it all over again. She had loved Jack. She cherished the memories of the time they had together. Even if she had known their time would be cut short, she wouldn't trade that for anything.
Nor should she choose future relationships based on the fear of what might happen. She could be robbing herself of something just as special by doing that.
Yes, Nathan was a Mountie like Jack was. His work was dangerous but it was honorable. There was something noble about it. There was no shame in loving a man who put others before himself like the Mounties did. She knew he was a man worthy of her love.
She couldn't say the same for Lucas. She wanted to believe in the good nature of Lucas but there was still much of his past that remained a mystery. She knew she couldn't share her life with a man who kept secrets because he was ashamed of his past.
Perhaps it was time to admit that she felt something for Nathan. To take a chance and see where it took them. To see if perhaps Nathan was the man whom she could share her life with now that Jack was gone.
Jack would want her to be happy. She knew that.
Still it was scary moving on.