Publish: 06/17/21

Memento Mori: Barbara

Embittered Hearts

Barbara had been busy outside, training in the use of her Hydro Vision. The gardens behind the Parliament of Justice were huge! A hedge maze was located at the edge, as a centerpiece of attraction for any visitors. Hedge sculptures of heroic figures of Fontaine's history were scattered around the massive gardens. White marble pavements spread around the area, snaking in and out of small hills within. Gazebos and pretty small huts were prevalent throughout. The latter probably for the gardeners and groundskeepers.

If was a mini world, and Barbara loved every single bit of it. Though, if she were to admit, the gardens had seen better days. The hedge walls of the maze were smeared with ashes and smells like burnt grass. Blackened spots were very obvious to the naked eye, but if she were too take a closer look, burning spots were still there. A wound, and a reminder of what had occurred a few days ago. Barbara tried to forget, but it was hard to do so when the scars of war were seen everywhere she walks.

Wiping off the sweat of her brows, Barbara took the entire scenery with ease to where she stands. One of the hills, the Parliament behind her, and the maze in front, had the whole gardens for her to view. The central path behind her led to the largest building Barbara had ever seen, which looked almost like a palace in its own right, with ornate windows of brightly colored glass, towering buttresses adorned with pennants and gargoyles and ornate sigils tooled from gold and silver set into the white-brick walls. It shone in the early morning sun, light reflected from gleaming white brick in a way that made the whole thing seem like it was glowing.

She could even spot the rising smoke outside, within the city itself. Though, it was hard, as the grey clouds covered the sky. A depressing sight, if the damaged city was not enough.

Deciding to take a break, she decided to take a stroll through the maze. Tucking in her catalyst, a copy of the Favonius Codex, into her small bag, Barbara went of to the massive entrance of the maze.

The gate itself was an archway made of hedge grass, creating a sort of imposing figure that stood tall against her. Taking the first step, she couldn't help but reminisce the old days. The simpler times. Barbara remembered that cold afternoon, when she said her farewells to her sister. Jean, always the courageous one, gave her a smile that would haunt her final days. Only if she knew. Days went by, then weeks, before a month has passed and word had arrived from scouts that patrolled the seas north of the Stormbearer mountains. Captain Eula went with her unit to greet the expedition's members, while Barbara, the rest of the church and Mondstadt prepared a feast to their return, like last time when Grandmaster Varka arrived from his personal expedition.

Barbara herself went on a rampage, helping with every chore she could get her hands on, managing every single detail, and testing every meal for tonight's feast that she managed to get her belly full before anyone else. Of course, those who knew her well managed to convince her that tiring herself out was very unproductive. Nobody could blame her, of course, as she was excited to see her sister again.

No one could have predicted this, and the least of them all was Barbara, who was deathly confident of her sister's capabilities in battle. I mean, who would've? Jean was a prodigy that had rivaled Diluc's, and her strength in mind and body was unrivaled throughout Mondstadt. She was strong, Barbara reasoned. No foe could topple her might, she was Mondstadt in mortal form, carrying all its ideals. Even the wind was with her, Lord Barbatos would never abandon his chosen few. Never, Barbara vehemently denied.

And yet, when she saw the distraught look on the Grandmaster's face, and the fury on Eula's, she thought that maybe not everything was alright, but at least her sister was fine, right? Right? Well, wrong. Barbara called out to the Grandmaster, asking for her sister and wishing their return Barbatos' blessing. She had to be polite, as she was still Deaconess. Her smile turned into a frown when she saw the Grandmaster slowly turn towards her, as if praying to the gods that Barbara was not here, and that this was a dream. His mutterings end when he saw that hopeful look, oh Barbatos, that hopeful look of her eyes! He turned deathly pale, his mouth wanting to say something, but in the end just shut in place.

Barbara's heart sank when she saw the Grandmaster gestured towards another knight, who was injured in the head, and carried over a clothed item. Barbara unconsciously stepped back when the Grandmaster reluctantly approached her, and she nearly fell down if not for a familiar bard to hold her back from falling. She wished she would have just fainted then and there, but she was a Gunnhildr. Unfortunately. Barbara stood her ground, but it was getting harder to do so when Varka slowly unveiled that cloth.

What she saw was the Aquila Favonia, a beautiful blade in her opinion, but that opinion was marred by the bloodstain that covered the blade. The glow was missing, and the scabbard was too. What was important to note that Jean, the previous wielder of the blade, was missing as well.

The night was filled a somber mood, as silent and hushed conversations were dominant throughout the feast. Barbara's scheduled concert was cancelled, as the star idol herself was not present after hearing the news of her sister's demise. At least she wasn't alone, Barbara woefully thought to herself. She had spent the entire night weeping to herself. No one bothered, no one dared to.

Waking up the next morning was an even worse affair, as the moment she stumbled out of her room at the church, Barbara was greeted by dull sympathies and empty condolences. Everywhere she walked, it was as if everyone had changed overnight. Or was Barbara the one to have changed? She didn't ponder too much on it, as Barbara spent the entire next few days busying herself. It was better than to think about her sister at least, and much more better than dwelling the past.

Why did I not hug her? Barbara thought, her mind jumping to her regrets. Why didn't I say something? Give her a kiss, or even talked one last time? Of course not, it was because she had believed that Jean would return. Barbara had faith, she had prayed, wasn't that enough? Apparently not.

Where was Lord Barbatos? Why wasn't he there to protect her sister? Was Barbara not faithful enough? Was Jean not loyal enough?! Why? Because she was weak.

Barbara couldn't do anything, Jean could not do everything. So, why wasn't Lord Barbatos doing something?! Barbara believed that the gods had abandoned her and her sister. Master Diluc volunteered, against his own better judgement, but even then he had died with Jean at his side. Grandmaster Varka was there as well, but he could not even help them.

Why were humans weak? Is Barbara really that pathetic? Is that why Barbatos did not want to do anything with them anymore? Is that why he had abandoned Jean and Diluc, the people of Mondstadt in their hour of need? If so, then Barbara accepts it. Because she was weak. All she could do was heal, nothing more. Splashing her foes with Hydro might've been fun and engaging, but doing it now just seems pathetic to her.

Barbara sighed, as the cold and empty wind of Fontaine blew against her face. She had missed the open and free air of Mondstadt, but even that seems way out of her reach. Pathetic.

She really was pathetic, isn't she? Barbara laughed, a genuine laugh that she had not had for a long time. But this was not a laugh that her fans yearned for, nor was it the laugh shared only between friends. No, this was a bitter and sorrowful laugh, one filled with salty tears and heartbreak.

Atop the Magistrate Hill, on the Parliament's gardens, at the edge of the balcony, and at the other side of the maze, stood a sobbing girl. Her cries carried by the wind, but her whimper went unanswered.

Wiping out her tears, Barbara composed herself, and stood tall. She was a Gunnhildr. Just like her sister before her. Jean wasn't strong because of her skills with a blade, nor her talents with the wind, no. Jean was strong because she had to protect those she dearly loved. No matter the price, Mondstadt must stand, as always.

Her eyes sighted upon a marble stage at the center of the balcony. It was like a sparring arena, but Barbara doubts that it was the only purpose. It could have been a stage for announcements for all she knew. But since no one was around, maybe she could continue her practice earlier.

Pulling out the Favonius Codex, Barbara aimed her open palm forward, and chanted a murmur of prayers. Crystal clear-blue waters sprouted forth, creating a small vortex in her palm. Envisioning a specific construct, the swirls in her hand formed into a shape of a pole.

Barbara had heard rumors of her sister's killer, the Pillar of Death, Tartaglia, once used a Hydro Vision, one commonly used for healing, was used as a sort of catalyst for the Vision wielder's imagination. He created weapons; swords, polearms, and even creatures to his whims. A powerful foe, indeed. But the corruption of the Abyss, coupled with the cruel Unknown God's blessings, the once great Harbinger became a mindless tool for destruction.

Barbara wonders if this so-called Tartaglia was once a nice person, but doubts it. Maybe it was just her bias talking, but being a former Fatui Harbinger, no matter if they are on our side now, was still a dark remainder. But she digress, maybe at the very least Tartaglia must have family.

With the polearm steady in her grip, her tear-stained eyes were now determined.

She had learned to create different constructs during the Liberation of Fontaine using her Hydro Vision. The spear was a good weapon for her, she noticed, having a long reach and all, it almost acted like a walking stick. For now though, Barbara kept it in the form of a pole. She stood steady on her legs as she twirled the staff around in her hands, normally spear users would have to work hard at learning how to fight with such a weapon, being a bit unnatural to wield without a proper mentorship or instructions. But since it was her own construct, the weapon was light and offered no resistance, most of the difficult maneuvers were compensated by the Vision's boon, calculating the best angle to make the staff appear where Barbara needed it, as well as to adjust the weight.

She remembered a time long ago, back when Jean was still with them, and when they were still close as sisters do. She told Barbara all about the time she saw the Knights train in the use of spears, how they twirled and thrust with the weapons, threatening to turn everything that got within their range into a literal no man's land. Jean even demonstrated a few of their moves, she admitted, she couldn't see them as appealing as now, only a rapidly moving brown slender object. But it was more about how passionate the young girl was back then, how she spoke with such vigor. The only other time she spoke with such vigor was when Barbara was able to pry her out of her shell about Jean's love for Dandelions.

"She was really into dancing too, I know she said it was to help her with coordination and balance, but she sounded like she really loved doing that," said Barbara as she thrust with her staff. "Why couldn't she pursue that instead of this?" Jean would still be around, that is.

"Because a warrior cannot be swayed from the call of the battlefield."

"EEP!" Barbara jumped up and turned around quickly. She let out a relieved sigh when she saw it was Sister Rosaria standing a few feet away. "Oh, S-Sister Rosaria…um, how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see that your spear technique could use some work." She replied, her tired eyes gazed at Barbara's soft grip.

"Well…I haven't ever fought with a weapon till I got my Vision. But my catalyst spells were still not enough. And I just thought that this would be a better weapon for me since without the healing spells and my magic, I'm metaphorically blind when going into battle."

The Sister strode up to the young girl, looking down on her with a critical gaze. Barbara felt so small under her gaze, granted Rosaria was into her mid-twenties, but she still held the same authority and strength of someone who had trained in battles for many years. Sister Rosaria then reached behind her back and unsheathed her spear from its holster. A beautiful polearm of the Knights of Favonius, and while the shaft has a pretty pristine white metal, it was the blade that caught Barbara's attention.

It was glowing, and the power vibrating within the spear made Barbara shiver. It was like if Sister Rosaria's soul was within the glow, a part of the wielder's strength is shared with this weapon. If Barbara was impressed at the weapon, she was more so when she saw the fellow Sister show off her skill and familiarity with it. Sister Rosaria was natural with a blade.

She twirled it overhead before slamming the butt of the weapon onto the ground, making Barbara flinch from the reverberating impact. "Then it's time you learned how to properly wield that weapon."

"Sister Rosaria?" Barbara was unsure why the fellow Sister of the Church was only approaching her now. Back then, when Grandmaster Varka returned with the expedition, Sister Rosaria avoided her like the plague had come into Mondstadt, and that she was the reason for it.

Why now?

"If you believe it to be a good weapon for you, then you should know how to use it." As always, Sister Rosaria would rather dance around the problem than confronting it. No matter, Barbara watched intently as the Sister approached her on top of the pedestal.

Sister Rosaria motioned for Barbara to move to her right, which the young girl did without hesitation. The Sister brought her weapon into both hands, getting into a fighting stance. She then twirled her spear around, kicking up a whirlwind from the sheer speed of which she was spinning her weapon. Barbara watched in awe as the weapon blurred from sight, appearing to wrap around her body in a protective zone. Rosaria stopped spinning and brought the spear in for a one-handed thrust into the empty air before her, stopping the whirlwind with a "whoosh" sound. Keeping the long shaft held firmly against her forearm and lower back, she swung the spear in a wide arc, cutting down whatever invisible enemy laid before her. Rosaria loosened her grip slightly and passed the spear to her left hand, giving it a twirl and a spin before gripping it with both hands and slashing down with it.

Barbara continued to watch Sister Rosaria perform complex moves with her weapon, she was so transfixed with the speed of which she was moving the spear around her body, noticing it was a similar tactic to the feint. Misdirecting her opponent's perception of where she was going to be and instead moved to where she wanted to at the last second, with the spear, the twirling and spinning acted as intimidation. Nobody in their right mind would want to get in close to that, and the actions themselves made it hard for somebody to actually anticipate how she was going to attack. Sister Rosaria finished her sequence, returning to the original stance she was in when she started. The Sister looked to Barbara and exited her fighting stance and brought her weapon to rest in her right hand.

"The spear is a weapon that can give you a long reach, both keeping your enemy at a safe distance while also being able to attack him. But it can also act defensively as well, any fool who cares for his life will try and keep out of your weapon's reach, believe me, a quick spin of the spear can give you some breathing room, even if it's for a few seconds those seconds can mean the difference between victory and defeat. Now, I may not have the time to teach you everything, but at least I can make you a near decent spear wielder amongst your kind."

Her kind being a healer, not that Barbara minded much of the jab, as she was grateful as it was to have someone to give her pointers.

"Y-You would do that? But…" Barbara was still unsure if she could do it, as she was still a kind healer. To hurt her enemies was not new, but making them bleed? The thought alone was enough to grip her stomach in fear.

Rosaria snorted. "Your concern for your enemy is unneeded in battle, Idol. They wish to kill you and will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens, true for us all who step foot on the battlefield." Rosaria's eyes glazed in reminiscing whatever dark past she had. A certain person came into mind, the knife still warm with blood on her tiny hands. "Focus more on those at your back, tis the way of a phalanx."

"Phalanx?"

"A tactic long used by Liyue warriors." Sister Rosaria shrugged, keeping the shaft of the spear rested on her right shoulder. "It shows their complete faith in their comrades, one line defends, the other attacks, that attacking line shifts to defend, while the defenders attack. It can only work if you know the soldier who is at your back will keep it defended, and the soldier after him, and the one after him. If your friends, these Knights and the Fatui, have your back, then you have a duty to make sure that you put down whatever is a threat to them in front of you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Barbara stood there a moment, digesting Sister Rosaria's words. She understood it well, but still, the taking of lives was not something she was comfortable with, Barbara doubted she could take it if she killed any more than she already had during the siege.

"Alright then, follow my movements and copy them, this is a basic attack sequence. Thrust." Sister Rosaria entered her attack stance and thrust her spear with both hands. "Strike." She then slid her right leg forward, while simultaneously brining the butt of the spear across. "Slash." Rosaria swung the spear in a wide arc and then stopped. "Finally, thrust again." The tall Sister took one hard step forward and did just that. "And repeat. That's it, think you can do that?"

Barbara nervously nodded her head. She got up on her tired legs and summoned her staff again. The feel of the staff made of Hydro energies was comforting to her grip. Recalling the way Sister Rosaria did her stance, Barbara narrow her eyes in resolve and lowered her polearm. Thrusting forward, a strike, followed by slash, and ending with a thrust. Barbara dropped down the butt of the spear and used the staff as support.

"W-Was that any good?" Barbara started sweating again, catching her breath she felt more winded than ever. But the sensation felt more liberating than it should have.

"Your form is good, but we must work on your speed and technique. Experience will cover for the rest." Rosaria then hummed in thought, thinking of other ways for Barbara to improve. "But you are a quick learner, which means you may become at least a decent spear fighter. Now, let's go again!"

"Yes ma'am!" For the first time in a while, Barbara smiled brightly. Even with the dark clouds above, there is always light beyond the reach of mortal hands. All she needs to do is take it back, even with the burden of a heavy heart. Barbara will not fail, for Mondstadt. As always.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Yes, I use the Favonius Lance for Rosaria. Fight me.

I swear, this is the last Memento Mori chapter in this Liyue Arc, and next chapter shall be Chapter V. Anyway, I wrote this to celebrate my summer holidays! However brief it might be, but hey, I'll use what I can get at this point. Don't worry, I'll make sure to post the final chapter before the end of this month. Sorry for the wait, but writing these are not as easy since I took a break from writing a while ago, and it really messed up my pacing in writing, but having to write this chapter made me feel like I am myself again.

I decided to make Memento Mori chapters as sort of Interludes between a number of chapters. Not official ones like those between Arcs, but small ones that tells the tales of certain characters that Aether did not mention in OCF.

Rosaria's Memento Mori chapter might come soon, but it's on Act II. Still a long way to go.

Also, I'm bringing back Memento Mori chapters into the mainstream OCF story, but the more "mature" ones will be posted on the other story. This too, and think of it like a sort of archive for Memento Mori chapters if you are only interested in them.

It's good being back again.