A/N: I'm posting the stories I've already written so I can finish/start the other stories I've got up and running, but anyway this is my first Tiva oneshot, enjoy.

It started small at first: his smiles became less real and more forced, his laughs at her mixups became less and less, he wasn't coming over to her place as much anymore, then the kisses shared between them weren't as passionate as they once were.

Then there was the biggest sign: he yelled at her in front of the entire bullpen, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and Jenny, then left the area without an apology or a look back at her to see her crestfallen face.

The team, Abby, Jenny, Ducky and Palmer all looked at each other in shock with wide and concerned eyes.

"What the hell was that?" Gibbs asked the bullpen who shook their heads.

"No idea, but I'm going to find out." Ziva said before she ran after her boyfriend.

She found Tony on the roof, looking at the gray sky, talking to it.

"Kate, tell me what to do." Tony pleaded. Ziva listened intently to Tony's one way conversation with his dead partner who died three years ago, she hoped it would give her an insight as to why the love of her life was pushing her away so suddenly.

"Kate, tell me that Ziva won't leave me, please!" Ziva heard Tony plead with tears in his voice. Ziva's eyes widened in surprise.

Tony was worried that she would leave him? Over what? Ziva thought, racking her brain for an answer. When her brain proved not useful, she continued listening to Tony.

"Kate, you're the only one that knows how much my father's abandonment hurt me, Gibbs knows that he wasn't there, Ducky must know some things but he hasn't said anything, Abby, the Director, Palmer and the probie don't know anything except he shipped me off the boarding and military schools, Ziva knows everything except for the abandonment and abuse because she'd track him down and murder him without leaving any evidence," He stopped talking and took a deep, quaking breath and continued. "the nightmares have returned and I wake up sweating. Ziva keeps asking me about them but I change the subject and talk about something else because I don't want her to see me as weak." Ziva felt her heart rip in half after hearing that: there's no way that Tony could ever be weak in her eyes, not because of nightmares that has him up for the rest of the night drinking coffee and watching movies and making her breakfast in bed before she gets up, not because of his coughing that causes his lungs to burn, that causes him to gasp for breath, which has his hand to become a death drip on whoever is holding his hand to help him breathe and tears to fall from his eyes in pain, not because of anything. Tony was the strongest person she knew and nothing was going to change that.

"But they're different: instead of having you in them at the center, it's Ziva and she's telling me that she's leaving me because I'm weak because I got the plague, that I almost got blown up from that car bomb the first day I came back to work, and I got you killed by not pushing you out of the way, and she's right! I got you killed, Kate you were my best friend and I got you killed. I'm so sorry, Katie!" Tony sobbed as he sank to the ground underneath him, he buried his face in his knees, Ziva couldn't take it anymore and jogged over to where he was sitting and sat beside him, her arms automatically went around him, his head landed on her shoulder, her fingers ran through his hair soothingly.

After a few minutes of comforting her boyfriend, Ziva began talking to him.

"Tony, look at me." The Israeli woman demanded in a no nonsense tone. Tony lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her, Ziva cupped his face in her hands, staring into his emerald green eyes.

"Don't try and push me away no matter no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'll be right here because everytime you push me away, I'm gonna keep coming back because I love you and I don't abandon the people I love, I don't abandon my family, and I'm not abandoning you." She said passionately. They were quiet before Tony spoke to her, gently slapping her hands away from his face and stood up.

"You should abandon me because I'm weak, Ziva! I got Kate killed." Tony growled at her as he started pacing around the roof he came to with Kate after Ari Haswari took her, Ducky and Gerald hostage in the Morgue. He heard Ziva groan as she got to her feet.

"Goddamn it, Tony, listen to me! You did not get Kate killed. My brother killed her, not you. Kate loved you and she wouldn't want you to still be blaming yourself for her death that happened three years ago!" Ziva shouted as she stared at the love of her life with fire in her eyes. She knew that Tony wouldn't question her when she had that look in her eyes. Tony shook his head.

"If only I'd pushed her out of the way or kept her on the ground with me still over her, she'd be alive today." Tony said softly as he looked up at the sky, Ziva joined him at the edge of the roof and placed her hand over his.

"Maybe, but then I wouldn't be here." She whispered before she turned away and walked off the roof without another word to her soulmate.

She'd done all she could for him.

It was up to him now.