The Nightingale

Chapter 57: That kind of love.

Winter — x493 / January 15

Isshin arrived at the Palace of the Sun faster than it would take on a normal trip; he traveled accompanied only by two of his personal soldiers and his horses. No carriage, no clothes or unnecessary luggage, just the essentials and nothing more. He had slept little, and even if he had made that trip in the traditional way, he would not have been able to sleep more than a couple of hours; his mind was too busy and scrambled by that letter from the Queen Mother.

The only thing he wanted was for all that damn mess to end at once or his children would destroy the kingdom before he could see any of his grandchildren being born. He had been a patient man, he knew that he had made mistakes and paid the price for each of them, but he had had enough and was not willing to tolerate any more; he was sick of everyone telling him what he should and what he shouldn't do.

— Where is the Queen Mother? — Isshin asked as he dismounted from his horse.

One of the stable boys had come as fast as his feet would carry him and took the reins of Isshin's horse. The Kahya of the palace hurriedly bowed to the king and stepped aside so that he could enter.

— Our Queen Mother is in Her Majesty's office. — That girl said without looking up.

Isshin nodded and with firm steps, entered the palace in search of his mother. His mother had a strong character; she had been the queen and she had been feared, but her time had passed and it was time for her to accept that her will was no longer valid in the kingdom.

He entered the office where his mother was and, as tradition dictated, approached her and respectfully kissed her hand as she rose from her seat.

— I came as fast as you asked, mother. What is the problem that urgently required my presence?

The Queen Mother, without saying a single word, hit Isshin hard across the face using the hand he had kissed. The only thing Isshin could do at that moment was to endure that blow in silence. Raising his hand against his own mother was a mortal sin that damned the soul, so he took a deep breath before looking up at his mother and fell silent.

— I thought I had raised a king! — The Queen Mother spoke angrily, waving a hand in a violent gesture. — But it seems that I have raised a man who is weak before one of his own sons! You will be responsible for the kingdom that your ancestors have built falling apart under your feet!

— Be careful with your words, mother. — Isshin threatened, containing his anger at the words his mother said. His mother's words hurt more than the blow. — Or I can forget that you are my mother.

— It's a threat? You are years away from even having the authority to threaten me!

— I remind you, mother, that I'm your king and…

— And I remind you that I am your mother! — The Queen Mother hit Isshin in the face again. — Your father would be completely disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in you! How can you tolerate that an assassination attempt, one where people died and where your legitimate son was about to die, go unpunished like this?

— Kaien is also my legitimate son.

— He is a bastard and nothing more! — Anger distilled through the Queen Mother's words like daggers. — You shield yourself by saying that you recognized him as your legitimate son but he is nothing more than a bastard; one for which you cast aside your true legitimate son. One you didn't even have the courage to follow the rules with.

— Enough mother! If this is what you called me for, then I have no business here! — Isshin warned before turning on his heels to leave that room.

Ever since Kaien was a child, the Queen Mother had insisted that Kaien abide by "the rule for bastards", but Isshin just couldn't do it and didn't want to have that argument with his mother again; not when he himself had legitimized him so that there would be no distinction between his children.

— You walk out that door, your bastard's head is going to roll along with his wife's. — The Queen Mother spoke with an overwhelming calm that made Isshin's heart stop for a moment. — You don't have the courage to enforce the rules, but I have enough to be able to do it.

Isshin stopped the moment his mother said those words and turned to look at her, unable to believe that she had said that. Without being able to understand that her mother is capable of spilling her own blood in such a way, and without being able to understand how she would have the courage to kill a girl that she had seen grow up during all those years.

— You wouldn't dare. — Isshin's voice seemed to have disappeared when saying those words but returned in the next sentence. — Don't even think that I'm going to allow it! I have tolerated these blows to you because you are my mother, but you have neither the power nor the authority to dispose of the lives of my heirs, much less to contradict my orders!

The Queen Mother stared at Isshin carefully, as if appraising him, and Isshin took a step toward her. The Queen Mother did not move, and the anger in her eyes did not diminish; instead, it was mixed with disappointment and another emotion that Isshin couldn't decipher but that he had seen many times in Masaki's eyes when they argued.

— So, that's how it is. — The Queen Mother took a step towards Isshin, staring at him and without relaxing her posture. Isshin first saw the queen and not his mother. The woman in front of him shook the world with just one word, and the records of the kingdom vouched for it. — Then... so be it.

Isshin looked at his mother undaunted by that look. She wanted to see the king, so she would see the king she wanted him to be; one whose orders were forceful.

— Nelliel will be your lady—in—waiting, she will take care of you because you are an old woman and you are sick, and you will be content and happy with that. Thank the Deities that I respect you because you are my mother, but this is the last time you try to interfere with something I have ordered.

Isshin turned around again and headed for the exit of that office, opened the door but didn't come out.

— I'm leaving tomorrow with Kaien. — Isshin paused, looking askance at the queen mother who was standing on her firm and immovable place. — And the twins will no longer return to the Palace of the Sun. You're sick, your mind is sick, and I don't want my daughters to see her grandmother talk nonsense.

Not expecting to hear from his mother, Isshin simply walked out of that office and ordered to be taken to where Kaien and Nelliel were.

—

The arrival of the king was something that was immediately known throughout the palace. Kaien and Nelliel were practically locked in the room by orders of the Queen Mother, and the uncertainty of what could happen made Kaien unable to stop walking around the room. He couldn't deny that he was afraid; that primitive and irrational fear that he had only experienced twice in his life.

— Kaien… please…

Nelliel's voice was soft in his ears and made him stop. Kaien turned to see her ex—wife and heaved a sigh, going to sit next to her to hold her hands. Nelliel was not well, since the day they told the Queen Mother the real reason why they were there and that Nelliel was going to stay in the Palace of the Sun to serve her, the Queen Mother's anger shook the castle and it unloaded directly against Nelliel.

They knew what could happen when they talked about it with the Queen Mother, but they did not expect the Queen Mother to call the king.

— Okay, the king is here and the Queen Mother will not raise her hand against you. — Kaien promised, although deep down the fear of losing her prevented him from believing his own words.

Nelliel was to remain in the service of the Queen Mother and nothing could prevent Nelliel from being ill—treated.

— That's not fair. — Nelliel whispered laying her head on Kaien's shoulder. Her voice sounded sad and with a note of resignation that permeated Kaien's senses and made him want to protect her.

All the anger he had felt for Nelliel, for the reckless way she had acted behind his back, was long gone. His feelings for her were still confused, he knew he loved her but he still couldn't define it completely; Kaien believed that he was flawed but still, protecting Nelliel was his priority at the moment.

— Everything will be fine. — Kaien cupped Nelliel's chin and made her look up, for him to give her a small kiss on the lips. — I promise I'll fix all this. No matter what I have to do, I will fix it and you will return to Adelaar's castle as my wife.

Nelliel nodded and leaned back on Kaien's shoulder.

The only way to fix everything that was wrong was to become the king, and the only way to be king was for the Shadow to take his father and Ichigo, but killing his father was something he couldn't do. He lacked the courage to do something so inhuman against one of the two people who had truly loved him.

The door of the room opened and the king entered with a firm step.

Kaien and Nelliel rose quickly and bowed to the king; they dared not speak, the anger in the king's expression was so strong that even Kaien was afraid. His confident smile and all that charming attitude was buried under the respect and fear he felt for his father at that moment.

— I allowed you to come to Visnia to accompany Nelliel and make the transition easy for her, and so that you could explain for yourself to the Queen Mother what your wife had done. — The king's voice was firm and powerful. — You took longer than agreed and even so I allowed it because I trust you and the prudence you have always had. Now that you've done what you had to do, you'll gather your things and say goodbye to Nelliel. We will leave tomorrow morning for Adelaar.

— Dad…

— I don't want to listen to you.

Said those words, the king turned on his heels and went to the door to get out of there. He did not speak or say more, nor did he allow Kaien to speak or Nelliel to speak; he just left the room.

Nelliel shivered in place and Kaien reacted quickly before she lost consciousness and fell to the floor. It was all getting too much for her and he was afraid that she would get sick when he left her. Nelliel was right, that wasn't fair. Nothing that was past was fair to them.

Winter — x493 / January 17

Isshin's first order, once he returned to Adelaar's castle, was to have Ichigo and Masaki proceed to the king's private office. All the way, only the noise of the horses' hooves was the only thing that was heard besides the orders to ensure safety on the road; no one spoke or exchanged a word that was not completely necessary.

Isshin was so angry that all the way he was thinking about what he would do when he got to the castle, and a "family" reunion, if that is what they could be called, was the first thing that appeared in his mind as something feasible to do. He had to make it clear to everyone in that family how things would be if they wanted to live in peace.

The soldiers guarding the entrance to his office opened the door as he passed to allow him and Kaien to enter; who hadn't spoken since the talk in front of Nelliel. Ichigo arrived only a few moments later, and the queen only a little later than Ichigo. Isshin ordered the guards to close the gates and that they could not interrupt unless they were attacking the kingdom.

— Everyone, sit down. — Isshin ordered his family. — They all did and Isshin stood before them to start talking. — I think I have been a patient and tolerant man. I have let you do what you think is best for you and I think that has been my only mistake.

Both Masaki and Ichigo and Kaien were silent. Isshin knew that Masaki kept it up because she would wait until he finished speaking before she could attack him with claims, and Kaien and Ichigo just stood there, knowing that the scolding was for them again.

— And I'm going to make things clear once and for all. — Isshin took a couple of steps attracting more attention from his children and his wife. — Kaien is the heir to the throne. He is my son, my firstborn, and that is something that nothing and no one can change no matter what they do or say. Any act by either of you or your allies against Kaien or the kingdom will be taken as an act of rebellion against the crown and will be punished accordingly.

Ichigo seemed to have the intention of saying something, but Masaki's hand stopped him, that was prudent of the queen's part. He wasn't in the mood to listen to claims from anyone there.

— I don't really care what you think about this, if you're not happy, the gates of the castle and the city are big enough for you to walk out with your things. — Then Isshin fixed his attention on Kaien and the queen, whose expression was pure anger. — Ichigo is the Second Prince, the Commander—in—Chief of the Kingdom, and his life is assured, as long as he continues to maintain his wishes of not inheriting the throne and doesn't have the recklessness to believe that because he is the queen's son, the rules will be flexible again. If someone tries to harm him or his wife, the person responsible will be punished accordingly. No mercy, no second chances. Both Kaien and Ichigo exhausted all the mercy I had for their faults. The rules are the rules, and they will be followed. Whether you like it or not.

Kaien nodded and Ichigo followed suit, but Queen Masaki stared into his eyes without showing any fear. Isshin knew that when Masaki spoke, it would be a hurricane.

— I'm willing to put the past in the past, as long as you do too, or else the consequences will be severe. — Isshin looked again at Ichigo who remained serious and silent, with the queen's hand squeezing his wrist as a way to keep him controlled. — Ichigo, get your things ready. You will leave in a week to resume the tour of the cities, and you will not return to the castle until every soldier has been accounted for. You will go alone, without your wife and I hope you understand why. You can withdraw and continue your activities.

Isshin made a gesture with his hand and Ichigo got up from his seat, bowed to him and left that office quietly and firmly. Ichigo's anger was palpable, but it was admirable to Isshin the way Ichigo kept quiet and complied with the order immediately.

— Kaien, in the spring we will make your divorce official. — Isshin said looking at his heir, who was attentive to what he was saying, also in silence but without the anger in his eyes. —You are forbidden to return to Visnia and see Nelliel, she is there as a punishment for her actions and as such, she must fulfill them.

— But the Queen Mother...

— Enough! The Queen Mother will do as she sees fit, which is why she is the Queen Mother. You are not the king yet and if you make any more mistakes, you will not be. Neither you nor Ichigo nor the twins. — Isshin said that last thing looking at Masaki. — My older brother's son carries the blood of the old king and he belongs to the royal family.

— But he is a… — Masaki was going to speak but held back.

— He is my nephew and that will be my decision, so I don't want any more mistakes. It's all Kaien, now get out of here.

Kaien rose from his seat and bowed to the king, then strode out of the office.

Isshin was left alone with Masaki, who got up from her seat completely angry about what just happened and approached him with the intention of hitting him. Isshin stopped Masaki's attempted strike by grabbing her wrist. She moved away from him, freeing herself from his grasp.

Masaki's blows hurt, not because each blow was increased with the ankh, but because he loved, or at least he remembered that he loved Masaki madly, and seeing that everything had ended that way was painful. The longing was painful.

— Now, you and I are going to talk. — Isshin approached Masaki and with his left hand he took her right wrist hard, making Masaki's palm rest on the palm of his right hand.

— What are you doing? — Masaki asked angrily seeing what Isshin was doing. She tried to make him release her but Isshin tightened his hold on her.

— I'll do what you always wanted me to do. — Isshin replied without taking his eyes off her and without letting go of her. He knew he was hurting her, but he knew she was strong and would heal herself with the ankh. — I'm tired of your threats.

Masaki tried to get Isshin to let go of her, but he only tightened his hold on her. It was now or he would never have the courage to do it.

— I'm tired of seeing how you turn your hatred on Kaien since he was born, I'm tired of seeing how you conspire to make Ichigo turn against his own brother. — Isshin spoke and felt pain in the hand he used to hold Masaki. — It's your fault that all this is happening! It's your fault because you couldn't turn away your hatred for a woman, one I don't even remember, and for keeping Ichigo and Kaien from being the brothers they were meant to be! It was your fault and everyone else's who constantly made distinctions between them!

— My fault? You say it's my fault! — Masaki tried to free herself again but Isshin held her wrist tightly; despite the fact that he felt as if thousands of sharp needles were stabbing into his flesh, despite feeling overwhelming pain and despite seeing his blood drain from his own hand. — You are as guilty as I am! You, who only have love for Kaien, were the one who initiated those distinctions!

— And I accept it! I accept my faults! I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and try to fix them. For the love of the Deities! I'm human, Masaki! — Isshin looked at his wife with his heart aching in a way he couldn't explain. — I'm not going to deny it, I prefer Kaien, but that doesn't deny or diminish the love I feel for Ichigo but… Ichigo has you and Kaien has always been alone. I don't have the courage to leave my son alone, can't you understand? Did you ever see the child who needed a little love from the only mother figure in front of him? Have you ever thought what that child felt living here between contempt and haughty looks?

— And for that you are going to inherit the kingdom to him? — Masaki asked with a hate that Isshin never thought he heard in his wife's voice. — Give him a dog and let him get all the love from that animal! It's your fault! Everything is your fault!

Isshin was silent for a moment but he didn't let go of his wife even though the pain in his palm was excruciating and the blood was flowing making everything a little more difficult. He didn't care about the wounds, but it was time to end all that, for the love that he once had for Masaki and that deep down he still felt.

She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life.

— I have tried to lead a life of peace with you, I have tried to show you that I still love you or that I loved you, because I am not even sure of this anymore; but everything is always as you want and when you want, with your constant complaints when I do something you don't like, when I... perhaps my offense against you has been too great for you to forgive me, but I also have a limit.

Masaki was silent, looking at him with that expression in her eyes that he couldn't decipher, but no longer trying to make him let go of her after those words. Isshin's blood had dripped onto the floor and stained both his and Masaki's arms.

— You're unhappy, and I'm unhappy about it, but I do not regret meeting you or asking you to marry me. I may not remember our wedding, but you must have looked lovely that day. — Isshin made Masaki spread her fingers, which she had clenched into a fist at some point in that conversation, and didn't dare meet her eyes at the time. — Go back to Vayalat, tell your father that I mistreated you, or whatever excuse you like best. Bring the war you have promised you would bring to my kingdom, do what you want to do. Get out of this hell I've created for you.

Isshin's expression softened to the point of a defeated man begging for a second chance, when he finally dared to look at his wife.

— Or stay and let's try this one last time. Put aside all your grudges and be happy with me, with what's left of me, because now it's the only thing I can offer you.

Isshin looked at Masaki, who was holding his gaze, and released his wife's wrist. His hand was bleeding and it dripped a couple of times on the floor staining the carpet. Masaki did not speak or remove her hand from Isshin's hand. Isshin nodded, realizing at that moment that Masaki really didn't want to be with him anymore and made theirs hands change position, leaving Masaki's hand under his.

It was all over between them.

— I, Isshin of Avanta, King of the Avanta and the Blue Mountains, with Deities and men as witnesses, divorce you... divorce you... divorce you.

The silence behind those words was heavy and dense, so overwhelming that it made the moment seem unreal and felt like it could be a dream, but it wasn't. Isshin felt a pressure on his heart that was so strong, that he brought his injured hand to his chest in an act of stopping the pain that he never imagined feeling; but it was not a physical pain, but a different one.

Masaki was still there, in silence, contemplating her hand stained with Isshin's dry blood on her wrist, unable to believe that this had happened. Isshin guessed that she still didn't believe that she had finally gotten what she had always wanted.

— Isshin… — Masaki whispered making Isshin look up.

There was no happiness in his wife's eyes, no joy or peace, just uncertainty and what Isshin had once thought was fear, but he quickly dismissed that idea. Masaki felt no fear, only hate and resentment.

— You can leave the castle whenever you want, I'm not going to run you out of the castle or your rooms. Instruct the Kahya so things don't fall apart on your departure, instruct your son's wife to help her while the twins prepare to run the castle. I'll have Kyoraku prepare your compensation for having been the queen and having given birth to a prince and two princesses. — Isshin walked away from Masaki with the intention of leaving the office, even with that strange pain in his heart. — You won, Masaki. I lost.

Isshin heard Masaki call his name once more but he didn't turn around or stop, he just walked out of that office slowly and aimlessly. His mother was right, he would lead the kingdom to his destruction…and he accepted that, along with all the blame he had accepted in his life for his own mistakes.

Winter — x493 / January 20

Masaki still couldn't believe that the scene in Isshin's office had happened. Isshin had said that phrase that ended years of marriage and everything was almost the same as always; the only difference was that Isshin no longer asked to see her or went to visit her, even the dinners they shared had been suspended, but he had not made their divorce public and she was still the queen before everyone.

She had always threatened to ask for a divorce, to bring a war to the kingdom and to do everything possible for Ichigo to become the successor to the throne, and Isshin had always refused to give her a divorce to avoid that future.

Masaki had always believed that Isshin wanted a prosperous kingdom for Kaien and that he wanted to inherit security from him, but at that moment, with that decision and words, it seemed that he didn't care so much that the kingdom was safe for his bastard.

Their marriage was not perfect and never was.

They had good times and bad times, but most of the time they were good times; her anger didn't last long because Isshin knew how to cheer her up and, although many women passed through Isshin's bed, she hadn't been a victim of that either. She wasn't the wife who cried while her husband slept with another woman, she carefully planned what to do with those women when her husband finished venting on them.

Masaki had become cruel to the king's mistresses because she was afraid that history would repeat itself, although once she thought that as long as she had his heart, then it didn't matter how many had his body. All kings had lovers, all kings had bastards and she knew it; she married Isshin knowing that some other woman or women would lie in bed with him.

She never really thought that he would give her a divorce nor did she think to see that defeated expression when he asked her to stay with him, with what was left of him, and try to work things out. She couldn't respond to that request at the time, she didn't believe that he would actually do that and she didn't believe that her marriage would come to an end that way.

Her mind still didn't fully understand what had happened in that office.

Masaki saw her hand and remembered Isshin's tone of voice, so empty and lost, so lonely, that made her think that perhaps it had all been some kind of strange dream; she had never seen him like this, not like that.

She had never hurt Isshin until he bled, only the time she had shot an arrow at him when she met him, and Isshin used to say that it was the best war trophy he could get because he had met the most beautiful woman on earth. But this time she really had hurt him, she had hurt him and the blood ran down to stain the carpet, and yet he didn't let go of her until he said those words.

Isshin had paused between each sentence, as if he expected her to stop him, and yet Masaki couldn't find the voice to do so even though something inside her screamed for him to stop and not finish saying those words.

The more she thought about it, the more confusing everything became. She no longer remembered for sure what she was thinking at that moment but she was clear that Isshin's accusations were true; a part of everything was also her fault.

She wanted to justify herself by saying that she was doing it to protect her children, but everything she had done had led up to this moment. Masaki wanted to avoid Kaien's mother's curse, but it was she herself who had fulfilled each of the words that woman said before she died.

"Kala, did you really win? Can I really never get you out of the castle? Will you live forever in my mind and always be the cause of my fear? Was this your true curse? Are you laughing at me from your hell?" The questions in Masaki's mind were replaying ever since Isshin secured his defeat in front of her.

A couple of knocks on the door of her room made her stop looking at her hand and thinking about Kaien's mother. Masaki gave permission to enter and a moment later the Kahya entered with a large black leather folder in her hands; she did not remember that they had any business to discuss in those days.

— Your Majesty, Councilman Kyoraku sends this. He asks you to read it and to inform him if you agree with what is written there. In case the stipulated is not to your liking, the councilor asks you to fix it with his majesty the king.

Masaki took that leather folder and opened it slowly, still feeling that feeling of unreality inside her, and read the title in large letters.

—

Divorce Agreement

Isshin of Avanta, king of Avanta and the Blue Mountains, annuls his marriage to Princess Masaki of Vayalat. According to the history written in the records of the kingdom, the divorce proceeds with the division of the assets corresponding to the number of heirs that the former queen Masaki has brought into the world.

For having given birth to a perfectly healthy prince, a candidate for the throne of the kingdom, she is awarded 70 percent of the profits made in the city of Zhilen for the next 5 years.

For having given birth to two perfectly healthy princesses, she is awarded 50 percent of the profits from the port city of Uzker for the next 5 years.

The jewels obtained during her marriage to King Isshin, which have not previously belonged to the royal family, may be kept by Princess Masaki if she wishes. Similarly, she will be able to keep all her personal possessions.

When the signatures of those involved are present on the document, the divorce will be legally consummated and the agreement between the two kingdoms will be broken.

—

Masaki reached down to the bottom of the document and found Isshin's signature along with his seal. The only thing missing was her signature to make that divorce effective, but Masaki simply closed the folder and put it aside. Masaki felt strange, as if she was in a dream and she could wake up at any moment; but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wake up.

She did not feel happy when reading that divorce agreement.

She did not feel like a winner, on the contrary, she felt that she was losing a part of herself that she considered lost many years ago. She felt empty and at the same time felt her heart pounding inside her chest; that feeling of abandonment and despair that overwhelmed her made her throat feel dry.

— Your Majesty. — The Kahya whispered with caution seeing her in that state.

— How can years of marriage end like this? Was I so wrong?

Those questions were not addressed to the Kahya, but to herself, because she did not understand why she felt so unhappy at that moment. She had one of the things she wanted, she had been rid of the man who had hurt her since the day she came to live at Adelaar Castle. So why did she feel so sad?

— Your Majesty...

Masaki fixed her gaze on the Kahya not understanding why her gaze was cloudy or why her eyes burned and her heart ached. She must have been happy but she didn't even feel able to fake that expression.

— Your Majesty, what's wrong? — The Kahya asked in a worried voice, taking out a cloth handkerchief to hand it to Masaki. — Why cry? It hurts something? Shall I call the doctor?

Kahya's questions made no sense, she wasn't crying and she wasn't sick, however she felt pain and heard that someone was crying; a woman was sobbing.

Masaki didn't want to hear that woman cry and she got up from her seat, took the leather folder in her hands, left her room and walked as fast as she could to the king's area. The guards indicated that Isshin was in his room and Masaki directed her steps to that place, entering without being announced.

Isshin was there, sitting in a big chair, staring at nothing with a book open to any page. When he saw her, he immediately got up and walked towards her, placed his hands on Masaki's cheeks and she closed her eyes at that touch; she remembered the softness of that touch even though Isshin's hands were callused from sword use.

Isshin wiped the tears from Masaki's eyes and walked with her until she sat down on the chair where he had been sitting before. There was concern in his eyes and Masaki noticed it; her heart rejoiced at that.

— What's wrong with you Masaki? Are you sick? Does something hurt? Did something happen to our daughters? — Isshin asked quickly, with that touch of tenderness and concern that came out of his mouth and was reflected in his eyes. Masaki shook her head and looked at Isshin's hands, finding the scars from the wounds she had caused him that day and felt guilty. — So what happens? Why are you like this?

Masaki was silent, she wasn't crying but Isshin's hands were wet and she didn't know why. For a moment she wanted to heal the wounds on Isshin's hand, as she had done so many times before, when they had good times, but when she tried, Isshin gently withdrew his hand.

— It's ok. — Isshin whispered as he understood what she had tried to do but did not allow her to heal them even though the wounds caused by the ankh were painful and slow to heal.

— Kyoraku sent me this. — Masaki handed the leather folder to Isshin.

She felt her voice strange to her but Isshin's gaze relaxed when he understood something that Masaki did not understand. There was no longer concern in Isshin's eyes, but an emptiness that made her feel as if she could fall there at any moment.

— Have you signed it already? — Isshin turned away from her, his voice sounding bitter in Masaki's ears. Isshin opened the folder and closed it again after taking a quick look at the paper. — What didn't you like? If you want, I can extend the years of profit until they are 10 for each city. I should have put that you could see our children whenever you wanted, Kyoraku didn't put it. I'll have it edited later and I'll re—sign it.

— No. — Masaki whispered after hearing all those words from Isshin.

He made their marriage look like a business that was coming to an end, but she remembered that she had really been in love with him when he went to ask for her hand; just as she remembered Isshin's look overflowing with love when he placed the queen's ring on her hand.

Isshin turned to see her without understanding that answer.

— No? What do you want then? — Isshin asked without approaching her. Masaki didn't understand why he had caressed her face so tenderly at first and then he had moved away from her; or why her soul ached when he spoke that way. — I have given you the divorce you wanted so many times, I'm giving you what you deserve for having been the queen and I have not made it public so as not to ruin your stay in the castle. I don't understand what more you want, Masaki.

Masaki stared at Isshin, whose voice trembled in despair at that sentence, but she didn't know what to say. The Divorce Agreement was generous, very generous, but she didn't want that.

Isshin approached her and took her by the shoulders while looking into her eyes with that intensity that she once saw in him when they were both young, and she again remembered the first time they met and the smile that he had on his face while she dressed his wound in the traditional way making him suffer on purpose for spying on her.

Masaki wondered why she was remembering that now. Why was she remembering her marriage when only her signature was missing for it to end?

— Masaki, tell me what you want. Tell me what more you want from me! — Isshin didn't let go of her, but this time he didn't take her hard, it was just a trembling grip; as if he was afraid of hurting her but Masaki could feel the wetness of the blood on Isshin's palm on her skin. The wounds had not healed and had reopened. — This was what you wanted and it's not easy for me; make it easy. Masaki, make it easy… for the love of the Deities… make it easy. Finish with this. Kill me at once if that's what you want, do it with your hands. Get your revenge for everything I did to you.

Isshin knelt in front of Masaki and took one of her hands to place it on his chest, right over his heart. Masaki could feel Isshin's heart as strongly as the first time they were together in Vayalat; only that on that occasion, it was because of the desire to be together, but at that precise moment it was because of knowing that everything was coming to an end.

— Here. — Isshin held Masaki's hand tightly to his chest though his hand was bleeding again. — Just here.

Masaki stared at Isshin in silence, feeling his heart beat in the palm of her hand; just a little pressure and Isshin's heart would burst inside his chest, but she couldn't do it. Isshin was the only man she had ever loved, he was also the only man she had ever hated; but she couldn't kill him.

Masaki just couldn't kill him.

— No. — Masaki whispered. That was not what she wanted. — I want… I want…

At that moment it seemed silly who would inherit the kingdom and she wondered if everything would have been different if she really had treated Kaien like a true son from the start. At that moment she couldn't do anything anymore, leaving or staying wouldn't change anything, anyway Kaien and Ichigo had already become men, each with their own interests and decisions.

— What do you want Masaki? What? — Isshin looked at her and Masaki felt that words were missing. She could still feel Isshin's heart beating in the palm of her hand; that beat that lulled her to sleep in Vayalat on summer nights.

She was as broken as he was, the castle and the life within had taken several pieces of her heart and soul into an endless void. Why leave when she could stay? Why not try to rescue one last time a bit of that happiness they once had?

Masaki felt how Isshin slowly let go of her hand and stopped looking at her eyes; the blood was still there but this time she was the one who held Isshin's injured hand with a little force so that he wouldn't let go. Isshin did not resist and Masaki slowly concentrated that magic in the palm of her hand, thus covering a large part of Isshin's wounds that she herself had caused.

The silence was long, only the breaths of both could be heard while the wounds healed one by one. Isshin gently reached up and stroked Masaki's cheek with his thumb making her smile.

— Thanks. — Isshin's voice sounded soft.

— You're right, it was also partly my fault. — Masaki whispered looking up a bit, only to meet Isshin's eyes staring at her. — But now I know what I want.

Isshin nodded, waiting for her response without moving Masaki's hand away.

— What do you want?

— You.

Special regards to: jobananasan, diah77 and Nikkiebelles