Hey everyone, sorry for the delay. I've been working on this one since after I posted that last chapter. I've read your reviews and It broke my heart to have to write that ending. It was so hard to write this chapter. I had to listen to tons of sad music to get in the right mindset for it. So here it is. Please let me know what you think.
When I asked Gramps if I could stay with him for a while, I half expected him to say no because he didn't want me messing up his Bachelor pad. As it turned out he had picked out a two-bedroom suite at the Dorchester because in his words, you never know. I had a feeling he knew.
Telling Steve and Bucky I was leaving for a while was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've cut people open, I've amputated limbs, but this was the hardest. The looks on their faces, Steve looking at me like a kicked puppy and Bucky barely holding back tears, almost made me want to got back and hug them, begging for them to forgive me. Don't get me wrong at some point I'm sure I will have to beg for forgiveness but not yet.
I thought I could just leave and I could just get straight to work sorting myself out but it didn't work out that way.
Day 1- Nora
After we arrived at the Dorchester, Gramps greeted the doorman and then headed straight to the receptionist. He got an extra key to the suite for me. Then we headed up to the top floor. When we got to the suite I was expecting there to be a mess but was surprised that everything was very tidy in comparison to the last time I visited Gramps.
Gramps noticed me looking around, "Gotta love hotel housekeeping. Come on I'll show you your room."
I followed him silently walking behind him.
"Here it is, both rooms have a great view of the Thames, but I'm have to warn you sleep with the curtains closed if not the sunlight will wake you up at sunrise." He said.
"mhm." I hummed.
"I'll let you get settled. I have to head back to work. I have a meeting so I'll be back later. If you need anything or get hungry call room service."
"Okay," I said just to give him confirmation I had been listening.
He looked like he wanted to say something but just walked towards the door.
"Gramps," I said making him turn around, "Thank you for letting me stay here."
"Don't mention it kid." He said giving me the signature Stark smirk before walking out and closing the door. Once I heard him walk down the hallway and open and close the entrance to the suite. I threw myself on the bed and buried my head on a pillow. I sobbed not being able to get the heartbroken looks my soul mates out of my head. I ended up falling asleep until around eight that night.
I knew I had to get up and go get something to eat but nothing sounded appetizing. Gramps peeked in to check up on me but I pretended to be asleep. I tried to get some more sleep but I couldn't, I missed Steve and Bucky. I missed sleeping in between them with their arms wrapped around me keeping me warm.
Day 1- Steve and Bucky (Third Person's Point of View)
Steve and Bucky were having a good day. They were back in London and everyone was uninjured. Things between them and Nora were tense since they destroyed the base in Poland but they would work things out. Steve was planning to make dinner so they could sit down and talk things out. He wanted things to go back to the way they were.
Bucky felt guilty. He had let his anger get the best of him and he took it out on his soul mate. Nora didn't do anything wrong. He knew that. Yes, he wished she had told them what they were going to be walking into but after he calmed down and started thinking straight he understood why she didn't. She had warned them from the beginning that there were things she wouldn't be able to tell them, he just didn't expect it to include something so gruesome.
When they walked into their apartment, he was going to apologize to her and hug her. They had barely said anything to each other since they left Poland. The most he had gotten was a 'Kay'. He missed talking to her, hearing her laugh, and that twinkle she got in her eyes when she smiled. He needed her.
When they walked in, Bucky knew something was wrong. Nora was sitting on the couch but as Steve greeted her she stood up and she was emotionless. She looked towards the door but not directly at them. He looked down and he saw a suitcase.
"Nora, What's going on?" Bucky asked afraid of her answer.
"I need to work some things out." She said not looking at Bucky and focusing on Steve. She couldn't bear to see what she thought was anger but was really fear.
Steve had finally noticed her suitcase by the door. "Why do you have a suitcase ready to go?" He asked.
Everything just sped forward from there. Steve and Bucky didn't hear what she was saying they just knew she was leaving.
When Bucky tried to stop her she looked up at him with her eyes full of unshed tears and she told him, "I need space Bucky, Please let me go." He felt something inside of him break. He let her go and she walked away.
For a few minutes they just stood there frozen, Nora's last words echoing in their heads, Please, let me go.
Steve stood frozen tears falling down his face. Bucky was mad at Nora, At the situation they were in, but most of all, at himself. He pushed Nora away and made her walk away from them. His stubbornness was the reason she left.
He screamed, "AAAHHHHH!" and punched the wall, making a hole in the plaster.
"Bucky!" Steve shouted.
When he saw what he had done, all the tears he had been holding in started falling and he kneeled on the ground as the world came crashing down. Steve sat down next to him on the floor and held him as they both sobbed.
Day 2- Nora
I woke up the next morning when the sunlight came glaring through the window. I left the curtains open again. I got up, closed the curtains and went back to bed. I don't want to do anything; it's all pointless anyway. The world is a shitty place, and it's even shittier without Steve and Bucky.
I heard a knock on the door, and then Gramps peeked in. I looked to see who it was but then rolled over and buried my face into the pillow soaked with my tears.
"Morning, I ordered Breakfast." He greeted.
"I'm not hungry." I mumbled.
"Okay, I'll just leave it here, try to eat something." Gramps said waiting for me to answer but I didn't say anything. He sighed and left the room. I stayed in bed for another hour before I went to go see what was on the plate Gramps brought in. There was a bagel, some fruit and eggs sunny side up with a cup of orange juice. I took a few bites and drank the cup of juice. I couldn't stomach more than that. I went back to bed and tried to get some sleep. I'd been in bed since yesterday but I couldn't sleep. I felt restless and anxious.
Day 2- Steve and Bucky
Steve and Bucky spent the entire day in silence when it was time to go to sleep they laid in bed staring at the ceiling waiting to drift off to sleep but they couldn't. The bed seemed too big and there was so much room in between them. After about and hour Steve gave up trying to get some sleep and went to the living room to read. He was reading through that morning's papers when he saw the door to the spare room. No one had really gone in there since Nora started sleeping in their room. He decided to walk in and see what was left in there.
He walked into the room and turned on the table lamp. The room was still as tidy as the last time he'd been in here. Steve sat down on the bed and started looking at the last thing Nora had been reading, Grey's Anatomy. He flipped through the pages and skimmed few paragraphs. It all just went over his head but the thought of his soul mate's choice of light reading made him smile.
Steve started to hear someone sobbing and realized it was Bucky in their room. Nora was not kidding when she said the walls were paper-thin. He knew Bucky didn't want him to see him like that so he lied down on the bed. The only problem with that was the bed still smelled like Nora.
'How did we end up like this?' Steve thought to himself, tears streaming down his face.
Day 3- Nora
I hadn't left this room since I got here. Gramps tried to get me to go out for dinner but I just couldn't.
Gramps wanted to know what exactly happened but I wasn't ready. I omitted the majority of things that happened as Peggy requested. Even if he read the report, he wouldn't know what really happened.
I couldn't deal with the world right now. I heard Gramps make a phone call, trying to stay quiet but failing. It was probably about one of his secret projects or something I'm not supposed to know.
Day 3- Steve and Bucky
Steve and Bucky couldn't continue like this. They had had enough. They needed to know where Nora was and if she was okay. They had breakfast and went their separate ways. They hadn't told each other what they were going to do.
Steve felt that it was his job to act as a mediator and help Nora and Bucky resolve their issues so they could go back to the way things were. He decided to talk to the one person who would know where Nora was and how she was doing.
"Howard," Steve greeted as he walked into the lab.
"Rogers," Howard replied not looking away from the notebook he was writing in.
"How are you?" Steve said trying to break the ice.
"Cut the crap Rogers, she doesn't want to see you." Howard answered. At least now he knew where she was.
"So you know where she is?" Steve asked already knowing the answer. Howard and Nora were practically attached at the hip.
"I'm the only blood relative she has in 1944 what do you think?" Howards retorted.
"I need to talk to her." Steve said.
"And like I said before she doesn't want to see you. I don't know what happened between the three of you but you need to let her come to you."
"How am I supposed to fix this if she won't even talk to me?" Steve groaned.
"Rogers what did she tell you when she left?"
"That it wasn't anything Bucky or I did." Steve said remembering the last conversation they had. "Why did she leave?"
"A lot of things have been going on. That time jump a few months ago just brought up some things that she needs time to deal with."
"You knew about the time jump?" Steve said surprised.
"I was at your apartment to drop off Barnes' gift when it happened. Got stuck watching the roast while she was gone. She was pretty shaken up from it."
"She didn't tell us until she let it slip up during her fight with Bucky."
"What did they fight about?" Howard asked. Nora hadn't said anything about their mission, just that she needed to get away. He was worried. She hadn't left her room in days and would hardly say anything. Not only that but she wasn't eating and looked like she hadn't slept in days even though she was in bed.
"She didn't tell you?" Steve said surprised.
"She hasn't really said much lately."
"I think she should be the one to tell you. I have a feeling she left some things out of her report." Things were quiet until Steve said, "How is she doing?"
Howard didn't know how to answer that. If he told him the truth he would probably try to find her at all costs and that was the opposite of what Nora had asked of him. He settled for the truth, "She misses you."
"We miss her too. Can you tell her that? And tell her we love her." He said.
"I'll let her know."
And with that Steve left.
An hour later, Bucky walked in.
"I figured you'd stop by sooner or later." Howard said.
"Where's Nora?" Bucky asked.
"She's safe. Still in 1944 too so that's good." Howard answered.
"I need to talk to her," Bucky said.
"I know, Rogers was here an hour ago asking the same thing. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him she doesn't want to see you. It wasn't anything you or Rogers did. She has some things she need to deal with and until she's done that you need to give her space." Howard said.
"This is all my fault, I let my anger get to my head and I said some things I shouldn't have and now I lost one of the best things that's ever happened to me!" Bucky said raising his voice without realizing.
"Barnes it wasn't anything you did. I don't know what exactly happened in Poland but Nora made it clear it wasn't anything you did. She just needs time."
"What am I supposed to do?" Bucky said sounding utterly heartbroken and exhausted.
"You can start by looking after yourself and Rogers. You two look horrible. Have you gotten any sleep?" Howard asked already knowing the answer.
"Not much, I just keep running things over and over in my head and I can't." Bucky said.
"Stop blaming yourself, everything will work out." Howard reassured him.
"Can you tell her," He started.
"That you miss her and love her. I know and I will."
After Bucky left, Peggy walked in to the lab.
"What was that about?" She asked.
"We need to get them back together." Howard said.
"What do you mean back together?" Peggy asked confused. She had never seen anyone as close and as in love as Nora, Steve, and Bucky.
"Nora moved out of their apartment. She's currently staying with me." Howard explained.
"What the bloody hell happened? What did those idiots do?" Peggy said getting angry and probably plotting how she was going to make Steve and Bucky pay.
"They didn't do anything, at least that's what Nora said. That's actually all she said. She hasn't left her room in days. She's barely eaten anything and all she does is lay in bed and cry. I don't know what to do Pegs." Howard said worried.
"Then its time to stop coddling her and make her talk." Peggy said.
"I'm not coddling her." Howard said.
"Do you check up on her every morning? Bring her food? Not say anything about how poorly she's handling things?" She said already knowing the answer.
"Uh,"
"Exactly," Peggy said.
"Then what do we do?" Howard asked.
Day 4- Nora
It was just another day I was in bed staring at the ceiling, wallowing in pity, wondering how I could be so stupid as walk out on the loves of my life. I don't deserve them. I heard gramps get up and get ready for work. Then came the usual knock at the door and him coming in.
"Morning kid, how are you feeling?" He asked like he's done every morning since I got here.
"You want to go out, I made brunch reservations." He said trying to bribe me out of bed. I just turned away.
He sighed before saying, "Nora, I need you that I'm doing this because I care about you and you brought this on yourself."
Brought what on myself?
I heard the distinct sound of someone wearing heels walking towards the room. Then the curtains were pulled open and the glaring sunlight lit up the room.
"Uhh" I said hiding my face under a pillow.
"Get up!" I heard Peggy say.
"UH" Its too early for this right now. She came over and pulled the pillow from my face but I just grabbed another one.
"I said get up." She demanded.
She sighed. She walked to the bathroom and I heard the faucet turn on and after a minute stop and she walked back in.
Then I heard someone open some drawers. Next thing I knew someone poured freezing water over me.
"Ahh!" I screamed "What the hell?!" I shouted.
"Good your up." She said smiling. She threw some clothes at me and said "Go get ready we have brunch reservations and I'm starving."
"Uh! No I'm staying." I replied
"I wasn't asking, now get of your arse and go get ready!" She said with her hands on her hips and giving me a hard look. Gramps just stood behind her looking surprised.
I didn't have a choice. I got up and took a quick shower. Then I got dressed and was dragged to brunch.
We were sitting at the restaurant just sitting in silence. Gramps had called ahead and reserved a private room in the back. They had just taken our order. I wasn't going to get anything but Gramps and Peggy ordered for me and started me down. They had just brought us all our drinks when Gramps decided
"So I got a visit, well technically two visits from your soul mates."
I knew where this was going. I picked up my Bloody Mary and took a few sips. "How are they?" I said avoiding eye contact.
"How do you think? They're heartbroken and they're blaming themselves for everything. What the hell happened Nora?" Peggy said.
"It wasn't their fault." I answered.
"That's what you keep saying. What is going on? What happened in Poland?" Gramps said.
"History." Is all I said.
"What?" Gramps said confused.
"When you were in school learning about history, you learned about the American revolution, the Civil war, and the Great war, right? Well I learned about all of that and everything that's going on right now including all the atrocities that happened or should I say will happen in this war but I can't say or do anything about it without altering the timeline and probably making things worse." I explained.
"So when we got to Poland I knew there was a chance we were walking into something I knew about but obviously I couldn't say anything and I didn't. We took out the factory like we were supposed to and we walked into the camp. All the prisoners were Jewish, sent to that camp because of that. We looked around the place looking for any leads to the other factory but instead found a lab. There were files on experiments Zola's protégé was running on the camp's prisoners, specifically on pregnant women and children, trying to replicate the serum. Bucky saw the file and got mad. I got upset and slipped up and used a term for the camp that's used in my time. He realized I knew and didn't say anything, which got him even more mad." I said explaining the fight.
"I can see why he might be upset and why that might cause some problems but he knew from the beginning that there were things you couldn't tell him. Why do you say it's your fault?" Peggy asked.
"After we fought, I kept going through the files and saw that there was a mention of a possible success." I said that and I saw the room again. I picked up my drink and drank some more. Peggy's face paled at the mention of that file. Gramps didn't know what was going on and just looked at both of us waiting for us to explain.
"And?" he asked.
"Howard," Peggy said shaking her head telling him to drop it.
"I saw something, and I started panicking. I left to get some air and had another time jump. I went to the future, and talked to Wren."
"Your house mate?" Gramps said.
"Yeah, we talked something out trying to process everything and I realized that I had some issues I never really faced. Then I came back, except when I did make it back Steve and Bucky decided that would be a good time to talk about my slip up." I said.
"You explained that you knew but couldn't tell them." Gramps said.
"Yeah but that wasn't the only slip up I made, I kind of told them about 1992 and how I almost made it so I'd never be born." I said finishing me drink and signaling the waiter for another one.
"I'm sorry what?" Peggy said.
"You never told them about that?" Gramps asked.
"Not really something I like to talk about Gramps." I answered.
"I don't understand, How did you almost prevent yourself from being born?" Peggy said confused.
"My mom died in childbirth, I jumped to January of 1992 and met her before she met my dad." I explained and she understood.
"Why would you even consider doing something so selfish?" Peggy shouted.
"That's what Bucky said too." I said grabbing the drink the waiter had just placed in front of me. "And I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him, What's selfish, dying so my mom can live, or letting her die so I could live?" At that Peggy didn't know what to say.
"You have some things to deal with." Gramps said.
"Yup, I just don't know where to start." I said finishing my drink.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but maybe you should go talk to a shrink." Gramps said.
"And tell him what, I'm a time traveler from the year 2011, you're my grandfather, and I almost prevented myself from being conceived so my mom wouldn't die in child birth." I retorted.
"I can see where that might be a problem" Gramps said drinking his scotch.
"I need to figure this out, preferably without getting myself locked in the Looney bin."
"You need to go to the root of your problem, trace it back to where it started. You being born is not a problem. When did your guilt start?" Peggy said.
"I accepted I was never going to meet my mom a long time ago and I was okay with that I guess jumping through time and actually meeting her is what set me off. Every time I time jump, I end up somewhere random, but in some way related to where I was and what I'm going through. I ended up at that Hydra based because that's where Bucky was, I saw my dad because I couldn't say I loved my soul mates and because I'd never heard it from the one person who is supposed to love me unconditionally, I ended up meeting Wren years before I'm supposed to meet him because I needed to learn how to control the force fields and how to get back without missing too much time, not only that I needed someone who could help me process everything I was going through yet wasn't directly involved in said events, but getting to 1992 had no connection to anything." I said.
"It all leads back to the stone." Peggy said.
"You never really said how you ended up with it." Gramps says.
"There's not really much to tell, I was shopping with a friend and we were in this shop getting her this special tea that helped with her morning sickness. I was looking around when this really old lady came up to me and said that a necklace I was looking at wasn't for me but that she had something else that was. I followed her and she gave me the bracelet. When I went to meet my friend at the register…" I said suddenly realizing how stupid I was. "Son of a Bitch." I said out loud.
"What?" Gramps said looking a bit concerned at my outburst.
"What are you doing today?" I asked.
"Nothing why?" he answered.
"Good, we need to have a small Field trip." I said giving him a smirk.