Sunday 16th March 1980

Potter Manor, 12:30

His parents... his parents passed away in their sleep. His mother the day after his father. Not that she had been aware of it in those last days.

James took a deep breath and bowed his head, not wanting anyone to see his face. He heard a hitching breath from beside him and felt Lily's arms wrap around him, her head settling on his shoulder.

He didn't know why he was like this now, a week after the funeral, with everything sorted out and put away as necessary. Sure, he had cried and sobbed and been disbelieving when he had found both of them. It hadn't seemed fair at all. But he had reacted. He had felt emotion. He hadn't bottled things up. Much.

But yet, everything was hitting him so much harder now. It wasn't fair. He hadn't himself feel, it shouldn't be getting worse now, should it?

He didn't need this confusion. He didn't. This past week had already gone by in a blur. The making arrangements. The funeral. The after-event where people paid their respects while he felt numb, so numb. He couldn't tell you exactly what had happened at any of them. It had all happened so quickly. And he had done it all on autopilot.

Thank Merlin for the Potter House Elves and for his friend. His family. They kept him going. They supported him. They made sure he didn't falter in front of everyone. Let him cry when he was one with them.

Sirius and Remus had put whatever it was that was going on between them behind them this past week. No Dark looks, no angry noises or shrinking away from each other.

Even Peter had been around more, not disappearing off with his work friends at all this past week. James had tried to tell him that he didn't begrudge Peter that, surely, he needed a break from all this despair, but Peter wouldn't hear of it.

So, yes, he never felt so safe and loved when all his friends, his family, rallied around him like they were doing. It felt amazing. Well, as amazing as it could feel when your parents were now gone. So, was it really amazing? Probably not. That was the wrong word but he couldn't think of the right one right now. He wasn't capable of thinking of anything right now.

How was he supposed to just continue on as normal? He didn't know how to do that? How was he supposed to do that?

Tuesday 18th March 1980

Marlene and Tonks' Flat, 08:00

"I don't want to see you, Remus," Dora said coldly.

He had turned up at her and Marlene's apartment. Yes, it had been unannounced but he felt like he had to. She had been ignoring him everything they were in the same place together. What else was he supposed to do if he wanted to talk to her? And he did, want to talk her that was. Tell her what he thought. Explain himself to her.

"Dora-"

"No, Remus."

"One minute?"

"Did you not hear her?" Marlene said, folding her arms. "She doesn't want to see you."

He had forgotten that Marlene was there despite the fact that she had been the one to let her into the flat. Somehow, she even looked threatening in the oversized tops she was starting to have to wear. Apparently, she was carrying quite big, something Remus still didn't quite understand. Did that mean the baby was big? Or was it that it was taking up a lot of room whatever way it was lying? He didn't know.

But Marlene definitely looked pregnant, not that he was going to comment on that. Not after Kingsley did that in the last Order Meeting and got hexed for it. And it hadn't been a pleasant hex either. So, he (and every other male) had promptly taken note. No commenting on a pregnant woman's size. It just wasn't a good idea. Though, he had noticed that Dora had a smaller stomach. Was that normal? Was something wrong? She was supposed to be due before Marlene, after all.

"It's my child too," he tried to argue.

Dora snorted at that. "Yeah, like you've really shown that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Well, for one, that's the first time that you've referred to it as a child, never mind yours."

"I, I was in shock!" He stuttered out but still in a defensive tone.

"And you don't think I was?" She demanded. "I'm the one growing a freaking baby inside me of all things!"

Remus didn't know how to respond to that one because it was true. Dora was the one doing all the hard work, wasn't she? A lot of unplanned, hard work. By herself. He couldn't measure up to that. He never would be able to.

But he could help. If she allowed him to. No. That implied he had a right to this child after everything he'd done. He would help of she wanted him to. Yes. That's how it was going to work.

"I know my reaction was incredibly stupid and selfish-"

"You got that right," Marlene snorted, interrupting him.

"You knew," he said, staring at Marlene in disbelief and then swung around to Dora. "You told her?"

He had just realised that Marlene had been unsurprised by all of this. There was no look of shock on her face, nor had she gasped or asked questions.

She tossed her hair back, it was a deep blue today, I can tell whoever I want that I'm pregnant, thank you very much."

"Well, yes, of course, I mean-" he stuttered out.

"And what exactly do you mean?" Marlene demanded, stalking up to him.

She may be a fair bit shorter than him (though, not as short as Dora was) but she was intimidating. Terrifying, actually. Why were all the women in his friendship group terrifying? He felt like he should cower but that certainly wouldn't win him any points.

"You told her it was mine?" Remis said weakly.

Dora shrugged while Marlene snorted.

"It wasn't hard," she scoffed. "It's not like you two have been with anyone else." Her eyes narrowed. "You haven't been with anyone else, have you?"

Remus shook his head quickly. He had definitely not been with anyone else. He might not have been the best sort of person, especially right now. But he was not the type of person who would cheat. Even on a causal relationship that didn't involve much except sex. A flicker of respect appeared in Marlene's eyes but that was quickly quenched by her blatant annoyance of him.

"Good. Anyway," she continued. "I live here too. And you two aren't exactly quite or at all that secretive," she gave them both a pointed look now which made them blush.

Ah. Maybe they could have been a little... quieter. Remus was just amazed that they'd avoided running into Sirius in all this. If Marlene was to be believed, they hadn't exactly been subtle and Sirius was also here all the time. Had they really not crossed paths when they were both doing... activities? Apparently not. Remus had definitely been here when Sirius was looking for Marlene but he and Dora hadn't been in her bedroom in those situations. He should probably be glad that Sirius never interrupted them.

"Can you leave, Marlene?" Dora asked, turning away from him completely.

Marlene frowned at that requested and folded her arms.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Remus flinched at the realisation that she didn't trust him by himself around Dora. How on earth was he supposed to earn her trust back?

"Please?"

Marlene looked between the two of them before sighing loudly.

"Fine! But you," she swung around to point at him. "You better behave, or else. Got it?"

Remus gulped and nodded. He did not want to be on the wrong end of her wand. No, thank you.

"Use your words, Remus."

"I understand," he said quickly.

"Good."

And with that, she turned around and went into her room. Immediately, Dora cast Mufflaito. Huh. That little spell of Severus' and Lily's really was useful.

"Now, what we're you saying?" She asked expectantly.

Remus gave her a blank look, not understanding.

"Before Marlene interrupted," she prompted. "Something about being selfish...?"

Oh. Oh. Yes.

"My reaction," he said, remembering what he had been trying to say before. "It was so stupid and the way I disappeared on the Order mission without telling you was selfish."

He just needed space to think and, stupidly, thought the best way to do that was to not say anything to her. Say absolutely nothing. No reassurances, no promises to talk when he got back. Nothing.

"I am so, so, so sorry for that," he said as earnestly as he could. "I, I was stupid."

"You said that already." She pointed out.

"And still it won't cover how stupid I've been."

"Got that right."

"But please let hel- be there for you."

He almost said help but that would imply that she needed help. Which she didn't. Especially not from him. Because all he managed to do was mess things up. And he didn't want to mess her up. Any further anyway. He wanted to help. Be there for her.

"Be there?" She repeated uncertainly.

And his heart ached at that. Dora, who was normally so sure of herself, so confident, was unsure of herself. And it was his fault. His ruddy fault.

"Yes. I want to be there. Hospital appointments, helping you out, doing my share," he was starting to ramble. "It's my child and I want to be a part of its life."

"He," Dora interrupted shyly.

"Wha-? Huh?" He said dumbly, her having interrupted his flow.

"It, I mean, he is a he. The baby that is."

"You're having a boy?" He asked in amazement.

"We," she corrected, a smile coming over her face. "We're having a boy."

"We're having a boy," he said in awe.

He was going to have a son. A little, tiny son. With Dora. Wow.

"Yeah," Dora said happily.

Remus didn't know what he was supposed to do now. Was he supposed to cheer? Hug Dora? Would she let him hug her? Was it appropriate to do so? Was it safe to do so? He didn't know anything about pregnant women or babies or anything like that. Something he would have to fix and soon. But that wasn't important right now. What was important was this baby of theirs, their son.

The two of th3m stood in silence after that. Neither of them knowing what to say. Which was silly because there was still a lot they had to talk about. To clear up. To fix. Well, it was mainly him that had to do the fixing but you got his point.

"I still lo-like you, you know," Dora said quietly, not looking at him.

There were a few beats of silence and then he said, "So, so do I."

"You have a funny way of showing it," she said with a sigh, running her hand over her face and still not looking at him.

Remus took this opportunity to look at her properly. She looked tired. Really tired. And small. Like, Dora was small - they all liked to tease her about that - but she had almost shrunk in on herself. She wasn't holding herself tall, if that made any sense.

"I do and I'm sorry," was all he could say

"Why did you even imply that the baby might not be yours?" She asked quietly.

"I-I-" Remus took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face, trying to gather his thoughts before replying. She deserved at least that much. "I didn't mean that. I really didn't mean that and I sincerely apologise."

She gave him a long look and then nodded. "Okay."

It wasn't forgiveness but he in no way deserved even a crumb of that right now. But she wasn't chucking him out. That was a good thing, wasn't it?

He suddenly found that he didn't know what to say to her. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to ask about the baby? There was just so much to think about and he didn't know where to start.

"So," he coughed nervously. "How are you?"

Sunday 23rd March 1980

Marauder Flat, 17:30

"Sirius, I made dinner," Remus said through Sirius' closed bedroom door.

It was closed all the time now, not just when Marlene was over. Which was a lot, now, seeing how Marlene was moving in with them and Dora was moving back to her parents' house. Or finding a flat of her own. He wasn't really sure what she was doing. She still wasn't talking to him. Didn't want to talk to him.

And speaking of people who didn't want to talk to him, Sirius didn't respond to him either. Not even a grunt or anything. Remus sighed. He didn't know what he had been expecting. Sirius hadn't said a word to him at all this past week. Or, to be precise, nine days. Apparently, je thought giving him the silent treatment was better than shouting at him or punching him. Remus wasn't sure what was better.

Okay, getting hit or punched wasn't good and it hurt. Shouting was loud and also hurt. Actually, all the options hurt, just in different ways. But at least with shouting Sirius was talking to him. Interacting with him. This silence was... well, it was nothing. And Remus didn't know what to do with nothing.

He tapped the door to try again but there was still no response. Sighing, Remus left the plate of food by the closed door and walked away. He didn't even look back this time, he knew Sirius wouldn't even crack his door open until he heard proof that Remus was nowhere in the vicinity.

At least he was eating the food. That was something. The plates always came back clean. Sirius just didn't want to talk to him. Which was fair. It upset him but it was fair. Remus wouldn't talk to himself either if he were Sirius.

Sure, he and Dora were now talking. And she had taken the time to explain how the baby was and how her pregnancy was going as a whole, which je really didn't deserve but lapped up. He still wasn't sure how he felt about it all, about having a child - a son - in a few short months but it was happening no matter what so he had to do something.

And he was. He was going to all the midwife appointments with Dora. He was reading up on babies and pregnancy. He was supplying Dora with whatever she was craving that day. Pumpkin ice cream had been todays. Thank Merlin for Fortescue's in Diagon Alley, that's all he was saying. And, most importantly, they were talking. Sure, it was slow, very slow, progress but they were doing it. Because they wanted to get this right.

But Sirius either didn't know all that or didn't believe it. Which led to this whole situation of Sirius avoiding him no matter what Remus did.

He was just going to have to give him space.

Potter Manor, 19:00

"Hey, Lils," James greeted, looking up from the pieces of parchment on his desk with a smile.

A smile she hadn't seen much of this month. Not that she blamed him, what with Euphemia's and Fleamont's death. She hadn't felt like smiling much either.

"Hey, James," she replied, crossing the room to press a kiss to his cheek. "What are you looking at?"

"Houses," he said, pointing to the parchment nearest him. "For us," he added needlessly.

It was an ad for a house. How many floors it had, the number of bedrooms, all of that.

In fact, there were several house listings here. All sort of different houses. Big. Small. Lots of land. No land. And everything in between.

"Houses?" Lily repeated, surprised.

Sure, they had been looking at houses before, well, everything happened but then everything happened.

"Yeah, I thought we'd pick it up again and look into moving like we planned."

"You want to move out so soon?" She asked in amazement.

She was actually surprised he wanted to move out at all. It wasn't like there were two sets of Potters under one roof anymore. No matter how much she still expected to see it.

"Well, we had been planning it before...everything," he waved his hand vaguely, obviously not wanting to reference his parents' illness.

"I suppose," she said slowly.

"So, it's not really soon, it's just picking up where we left off. I went ahead a removed all the houses and apartments that have since been sold."

It looked like had done a lot of organising Lily though as she looked over all the parchment. The house all seemed to be divided up into groups and there were even notes scrawled on some of them.

"Don't you think this is all a bit fast, James?" She asked hesitantly.

He seemed to be jumping into this with both feet. All for it. Shouldn't there be a little bit more hesitation? A bit more care?

James shook his head. "We should really get it sorted instead of dragging it out."

Which was true, especially since there was more to getting a place to live than simply looking at pictures but still, something about this just felt... off. Like James was trying to force the matter before he was ready. But she couldn't force him to talk. Not yet anyway. Not with them all feeling so raw. It wouldn't be fair.

"Okay," she agreed, not knowing what else to say.

Because she didn't disagree, at the end of the day. She just didn't think it was a good idea right now. But maybe it was just the distraction they both needed. From the War. From losing people. From babies. Everything. It was something different. And surely, she could tear James away from it if it became too much?

Yeah, this could work.

She slid next to him on the table and reached for a piece of parchment.

"Where's this one?"