Wednesday 30th April 1980

Potter Manor, 14:00

"It just doesn't seem right," Remus was saying.

James tried not to sigh too loudly; he really did. But honestly, Remus was making the same old arguments again and again and James wasn't about to change his mind. Not when it came to this. Of course, he wouldn't. He never would and he didn't understand why Remus thought he would.

"It's fine, Remus, it really is."

"But-"

"Do you have a better option?"

"You could-"

"That doesn't involve chaining you up somewhere?"

Because that he definitely didn't agree with. Remus closed his moth and sulked at him but James didn't care because he was the one doing the right thing here!

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about now," he urged and only felt a little pang when he thought of his parents now.

"But-"

But James held a hand up before he could say anything. "Ah, ah. No. Nothing to worry about and no excuses."

Remus didn't have to worry about possibly coming across his parents. He didn't have to be worried about harming anyone for that matter. Or anything. He could run and scratch at trees all he wanted. That was the beauty about having sprawling grounds. All the land that you could run free on. Especially a werewolf.

Because that's what this whole argument, discussion, whatever, was about. Remus having somewhere safe to transform. Somewhere he did t have to worry about anything. There was space for him. Acres and acres of space. Protective wards around that space. Him and Sirius and Peter being there during the night. And Lily and House Elves the next morning and whoever else stayed over that night because Potter Manor had slowly become the place where everyone hung out now instead of the Marauder Flat. Which James was so glad for. Glad that he had such a great family. Because that's what they all were, family. Even weird Severus, though he wouldn't dare say that to his face. He liked not being attached to the toilet all day.

"But surely you don't-"

"Seriously, its fine, Moony. Better than fine."

Why was Remus suddenly so against this? Why was he trying to refuse help? Sure, James kind of understood why he never took James up on his offer of using Potter Manor for the full moon when his parents were still alive. They weren't technically in on that secret, though James always suspected they knew something. Remus hadn't wanted to run the risk of running into any humans, even if they would be behind locked doors. And, for some stupid reason, he was also worried about tearing up the land around the Manor and ruining things. Which had a very small chance of happening, the grounds were expansive, after all. And even if it did happen, any damage was easily fixed. Better off fixing flowers than fixing Remus' injuries! 3hich could be avoided if he just took him up on his offer! 3hich he infuriatingly wasn't doing.

"I'll be fine," Remus tried.

"But you'll be better if you try this," James retorted and Remus couldn't deny it because James was right.

But still Remus shook his head! Why was be being all weird about this? He shouldn't be this weird. Even though he'd been acting a bit weird recently. All nervous and jittery. James had thought it was to do with his and Dora's child and their relationship status (which really wasn't clear after all these months, by the way). Their baby was due first, after all, so it was only right that Remus was nervous. James knew he was nervous about his and Lily's baby and it want due until the end of July or the start of August. But maybe Remus was also worrying about something else? Something about him being a werewolf? Did he really think that they believed all that rot the Ministry were pushing about them or something? Sure, some werewolves were joining Voldemort, Fenrir Greyback being one of them. But that didn't mean they were all bad! But the Ministry had just gone and tarred them all with the same brush, saying they weren't to be trusted and if you came across one you should try to capture it and if it got rough you could actually injure or even kill them. It was sick. But none of the Marauders believed that! They never would.

"Moony, please, I just want to help," James ended in a last-ditch attempt. "I can help. Just let me help."

Remus gave him a long look and then his shoulders slumped.

"Okay," he said quietly. "Okay."

James instantly brightened.

"Now eat up," he ordered, pushing the plate of sandwiches towards him. "You're going to need all the calories you can get."

"I'm eating," Remus told James, pointing to the sandwich in his hand.

He failed to say that he had yet to take a bite. He tried to claim it was because James' questions required answers. So, in a way, him not eating was James' fault. Unfortunately, James didn't think this was so.

"I don't see you eating."

Remus rolled her eyes at that and took a very pointed, very dramatic bite out of the sandwich. Which backfired on him because it barely fit and he looked downright silly trying to chew and then swallow it.

"Is Remus actually eating instead of worrying and complaining?" Lily asked breezily, swanning into the kitchen with a stack of parchment in her hands.

A common sight these days because, as she liked to complain, research was the only thing she could do. And only half of it at that.

James took them off her and ushered her to a spare seat.

"Yes, be is. Barely," he shot a pointed look at his friend, who pointedly took another bite of his sandwich (a smaller one this time), before turning back to Lily. "And you need to eat too."

"I do," she agreed. "Right after I read one more paragraph."

"Lily."

"James. I'm not a child."

"And neither is Remus and he still needs reminded to eat," he said pointedly, knowing she could be worse than Remus sometimes.

She sighed and grabbed one.

"Happy?"

Saturday 3rd May 1980

Marauder Flat, 10:00

"I feel like crap." Marlene announced, flopping back into bed.

Sirius looked up from tucking his shirt into his trousers with concern.

"General in last trimester of pregnancy crap or something new crap?"

"I don't know," she groaned. "I just feel horrible."

That made a feeling of panic flutter in him. It wasn't good for a pregnant woman to feel horrible, was it? Especially when she said it so suddenly like that? Marlene tended to complain about pregnancy symptoms, she had full right to after all but she hadn't ever said that she felt horrible. Sure, she had felt tired, slow, massive, yuck, gross but never horrible. That meant that there had to be something wrong.

"We should get you to St Mungo's," he said, already standing up to get both of their robes. Where were his shoes? "Get you checked over. Make sure very things okay..."

"I don't need to go to St Mungo's, Sirius," she said irritably. "I'm fine."

"You obviously aren't if you say you feel horrible!"

"I'm pregnant and like five times my normal size and my ankles are swollen. I'm not meant to feel good!"

"But you've never said you've felt horrible which means there has to be something wrong!"

Hey, he was worried about his child! Not to mention the mother of his child whose he cared very much for as well!

"There's nothing wrong. It's just that the temperature is starting to rise outside and I'm feeling huge and massive and gross because of it. And out of breath," she added dismissively. "All normal pregnancy things. Trust me, I checked with my mother - she ought to know."

That calmed Sirius down a bit because it was true. Mary McKinnon had had five children after all, which meant five pregnancies because none of them were twins. Molly Weasley had had twins, it must have been two years ago now. And had had another baby boy a month or so ago, according to the Prewitt's. Roland, he thought his name was? But still. That was beside the point. The point was if Marlene wasn't worried and her mother wasn't worried, then he shouldn't be worried, right?

"You'll tell me if you do start worrying about something, right?" He checked.

"I will," she promised and then gave him a kiss.

The sort of kiss that definitely did make him feel better.

Monday 5th May 1980

Potter Manor, 13:30

"It's going to be made public that Nott's a Death Eater," James was saying to everyone.

Surprisingly, all of them had been able to make it to his and Lily's home today. Sirius, Remus, Dora, Peter, Marlene and even Severus and Chryssie. For lunch, anyway. Some of them were going to have to go back to work in about twenty minutes. But right this moment they were all eating lunch now.

"Yeah, we finally have enough proof that he's a danger to the public." Sirius said, nodding his head as he took a bite out of his sandwich. "Which I count as a good thing."

"It's just another person for people to be worried about," Chryssie pointed out.

"I don't think Nott could be counted as a person," Dora scoffed, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach.

Which was fair because apparently the baby had been kicking up a storm these last few days, not really giving her a break. She was probably trying to calm it down or something.

"Whatever, my point still stands."

"With everything that's been happening do you really think that one more thing would increase the worry?" Remus wondered out loud. "It's not like anything has been going well recently.

All the Aurors present flinched at that. It was true, they hadn't had any real successes recently. Which sucked.

"Sorry," Remus apologised.

"It is true though," Sirius said moodily, setting his sandwich down.

He had been a part of a raid in Diagon Alley that, while hadn't gone well - they hadn't caught anyone - but no one had died. A few in St Mungo's and that was it. Which was a success these days, unfortunately.

It was like there was a dark cloud hovering over the country, sucking up all the happiness and hope. It sucked.

"Nott?" squeaked Peter.

He still hadn't outgrown that.

"Yeah, Nott," Sirius repeated. "He's a nasty piece of work."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Isn't he the one that tore someone open from head to groin?" Marlene asked, reaching for another bowl of soup - it was tomato.

Lily scrunched up her face and pushed her bowl away. "Did you really have to say that?"

"It's an honest question!"

"That was Goyle," Sirius corrected.

"Really? I thought he made someone's intestines explode."

"That was Malfoy. Goyle doesn't have the power to pull off that curse."

"It seems a bit brash for Malfoy. He normally prefers to persuade his victims to do horrible things to themselves."

Lily promptly put her hands over her ears at that and scolded them, "Can we not talk about this when we're eating?"

Thursday 8th May 1980

Severus' Flat, 18:00

Kt was strange, in a way, becoming boyfriend and girlfriend didn't really change much. Well, they held hands now. Which was nice. But they still did everything else the same. They hung out together and with everyone else. She still brought Severus food to make sure he ate. He still made her laugh with his sarcastic retellings of his day.

They hadn't kissed yet. Even though they were boyfriend and girlfriend. That's what boyfriends and girlfriends did, wasn't it? But they hadn't done that yet. They didn't want to rush things, even things like kissing. Because, well, neither of them felt ready yet. Or that confidant about it either.

Chryssie had had boyfriends before. Well, a boyfriend. And she'd kissed him. A few times actually. So, she knew how to kiss. And she was pretty sure Severus knew how to kiss too. Just, both of them didn't want to kiss each other right now. Chryssie rather liked the thought of kissing Severus but she didn't want it to happen right now. She didn't know why but she didn't feel ready yet was that strange? Weird? Especially when what she felt for him was stronger than she'd ever had for some silly childhood boyfriend. Was this what being mature and grown up was a about? She didn't know. But she was pretty happy with this pace.

Despite everything happening right now, she didn't feel the need to rush like everyone else did. What would happen would happen. Severus and Chryssie knew they cared for each other and that's all you could ask for.

"You look beautiful," Severus suddenly said, making her lose her train of thought.

"What?"

"You look beautiful," he repeated, with a faint blush rising to his cheeks. "When you think like that."

Sunday 11th May 1980

Potter Manor, 14:00

"What's going on," Lily asked, carefully sitting herself next to him.

Her ever-increasing stomach ensured that she had to be careful doing some tasks. She was now seven months along now and her stomach was quite big. Bigger than Dora's, worryingly, despite her being due a whole month before.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, looking briefly at her before going back to staring at nothing in particular. "Nothing's bothering me."

"Don't be stupid, I know you, Remus Lupin. Something's bothering you."

"There really isn't."

But he was careful not to look at her. Lily could read his expressions all too well and he could do without that right now. He could also do without the raised eyebrow she was sending his way because it wasn't going to make him say what was on his mind because what was in his mind didn't concern her.

"Remus, you've sighed heavily three times already and you've been lost in your own thoughts which is never a good thing. So, something is wrong."

"It's not."

But that didn't sound convincing, even to his own ears, so it was no wonder that Lily gave him a disbelieving look. He sighed again.

"I've just been thinking."

"Oh, no," Lily said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

It didn't work. Actually, it fell flat and Remus didn't know whether he should just stand up and walk away or stay here and be silent.

"Sorry," she said, quickly realising that her joke hadn't had the effect she hoped it would.

"It's fine."

He tried to give her a smile but he knew it didn't really work. It even felt weird to him.

"Remus."

"I'm fine!" He snapped, instantly regretting it.

Lily didn't deserve his ire. No one did.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, really not wanting to look at her now.

She coughed in a way that it would be worse for him if he didn't. So, he slowly looked up and saw something he didn't expect to see. Worry. Concern. A lot different from the hurt or anger he had been expecting.

"Still want to tell me that there's nothing wrong?"

"There's nothing -" he began and then he stopped and sighed.

There really wasn't any point in pretending, was there? Not that that meant that he wanted to talk about it!

"I don't want to talk about it," he muttered instead.

Because he didn't. He didn't want to say it out loud. He didn't want Lily to think about what he said and he didn't want her to try and help. Mainly because he didn't even know where to start. His thoughts weren't exactly coherent, even to him. And they were his thoughts!

"Okay." Lily said after a thoughtful pause.

"Okay?" Remus asked incredulously.

Hadn't she just been trying to get him to talk? Why the sudden change of mind? Lily didn't usually change her mind like that.

"Yes," she nodded. "If you don't want to talk right now, you don't have to talk. But I'm going to be right here so when you do decide you want to talk then you have someone to talk to. Someone who will listen."

Which was a nice thought and all but Remus didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think either but he couldn't just switch that off so not talking would have to do.

So, he didn't and neither did Lily and they both just sat together in silence. But even that wasn't nice. Or even mildly pleasant. In fact, kt made him feel restless. Impatient. Fidgety.

"I'm worried," he blurted out, not being able to stand the silence any longer.

Because he was. Worried. Not in the same way the whole country was, though he was that type of worry too. No, this worry was a lot more personal.

"Worried." Lily repeated, no condemnation or question in her voice.

Which, it turned out, was just what he needed to let it all out. Remus stood up and starting pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Talking. And talking. And talking.

"What if we never make up properly? What if we never get back to the way we were? What if she leaves and takes our baby with her? What if she hates me forever because of this? What if-"

All of his insecurities, old and new, came spewing out. Once he started, he couldn't hold any back. And Lily let him, sitting back and listening, just like she promised.

He went around in circles, saying the same thing but with slightly different words. He worked himself up and worked himself up until the one, real, big thing he had been worried about came tumbling out.

"What if the baby is a werewolf?" He whispered, unable to say it in a normal tone. "What if I passed my curse down to him?"

Silence stretched between them, letting him breath heavily, trying to calm himself down. Lily stood up and reached for him. Automatically, he went to her and she tugged him back down on the sofa.

"You'll be okay," she said softly, letting his arm. "You'll be okay."

Remus couldn't help it, all of the emotions that had been churning up inside of him all day gave out and he burst into tears.