"We love you and we love Wren. We want to be a family so Nora Stark will you please marry us?" They asked me.
"No." I answered.
"Oh boy…" Sam said signaling to Aiden to grab the kids and get out of there quickly.
"No?" Bucky said.
"Nora I don't understand." Steve said.
"We're going to take the kids to the house, start the movie marathon while you guys… talk." Aiden said taking Wren from me.
"Thanks." I said.
We waited until we heard the front door close before anyone said anything.
"No?" Bucky asked.
"I don't want that." I said staring at the ring in Steve's hand.
"The ring?" Steve asked. "We can get you another one if that's the problem."
"It's not the ring. It's not you guys. It's me. I don't want to get married." I said.
"Okay can we ask why?" Bucky said.
"I love you guys. I really do and I love seeing you with Wren and I am happy I just I don't want to get married." I said.
"It has only been a few months." Steve said remembering what Tony said.
"A really crazy year." Bucky said.
"Maybe now isn't the right time." Steve said.
"I don't think it'll ever be the right time." I said.
"What does that mean?" Bucky said.
"Uh well I've been married once already and honestly I don't really see myself doing again." I said.
"Right now?" Steve asked.
"Ever." I admitted.
Meanwhile…
Once the kids were settled in front of the TV watching Elf Sam and Aiden went to the kitchen. Aiden immediately pulled out a pair of beers from the fridge.
"Dude it's still morning." Sam said.
"Well it's late enough in the day for our sister to get proposed to and say no." Aiden said opening one of the beers.
"Good point." Sam said taking the other beer.
"I didn't think she'd say no." Aiden said.
"Wait you knew they were going to propose?" Sam said.
"Yeah I saw them looking through Nora's jewelry to get her ring size." He said. "It's a good thing they're super soldiers because they'd make horrible spies."
"Not everyone can be you or Nora." Sam said. "I thought they were doing okay."
"They are all things considered." Aiden said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam said.
"Well a year ago Nora couldn't stand to be in the same room as Steve and was suing his ex-girlfriend." Aiden said.
"Some of my best work." Sam said proudly.
"Yeah remind me never to get on your bad side." Aiden said. "Bucky was being a hermit in Romania and Nora was pregnant."
"That was a year ago? Feels like it was longer." Sam said. "Those three have a lot of history."
"And not all good." Aiden said.
"Guess it makes sense why she'd say no but think they'll be okay with that?" Sam asked.
"Well right now they're either fighting or shagging." Aiden said.
"What's shagging?" Connor asked standing behind them making them groan.
"Damn it Aiden." Sam cursed.
"We need to put a bell on that kid." Aiden said.
Back at the house…
"You never want to get married?" Bucky said surprised.
"I thought we were okay." Steve said.
"We are." I said.
"Then what's the problem?" Steve said.
"There isn't one." I said. "We are okay. We're together and it works."
"We're together but you don't ever want to get married to us." Steve said.
"Pretty much." I said.
"Then what are we doing Nora!" Steve shouted.
"What does it really matter?!" I said. "Legally a marriage between the three of us will never be recognized. And even if it was it's still just a piece of paper it's no guarantee of anything. We're together because we wake up every morning no matter where we are and know that we love and want to be with the other two people in this relationship."
"And Marriage even if it's just us three with Wren on a beach somewhere exchanging rings is us saying that to the world." Steve said.
"The world can mind it's own damn business." I said. "I don't need a ring or a ceremony. I like the way things are now and it works. Does it really matter?"
"It matters to us." Bucky said.
"I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry you feel that way but no." I said.
"You were married before." Bucky pointed out.
"I got married to keep me out of jail because of dad's inability to take responsibility and to keep Wren in the country." I said. "Hence why I said marriage is a piece of paper that means nothing. A relationship is two or in this case three people who make the choice to stay together because they love each other. I prefer that."
"So that's it? This is what it's going to be like." Steve said.
"You're both here when you're not at the compound and you're there because you like to be on standby in case anything comes up." I said.
"What about when we have more kids?" Steve said and both Bucky and I froze.
"Excuse me?" I said.
"When we have more kids? A brother or sister for Wren?" Steve said like that was the part we were confused about. "I'm not saying right now but maybe in a few years we could have another one?"
"I feel like you skipped a few big steps there." I said. "Mainly the one where you talk to the person who's going to be carrying your hypothetical future kids and decide if that's something she and your other partner wants."
"I thought that was something we all wanted. To be a family." Steve said.
"The three of us and Wren. That's a family." Bucky said.
"It is and I want to add on to that family." Steve said. "And you do too, right?"
"No." I said honestly. Man I was starting to think No was my word of the day.
"What?" Steve said looking slightly betrayed.
"I don't want more kids." I said honestly. "I have an amazing kid, three actually, and that's more than I could have ever asked for and it's enough for me."
"I always thought we'd have a baby together." Steve said.
"We have Wren." Bucky said. "He's my kid. More than I deserve, more than I thought I'd ever have but one son and a niece and nephew, that's good."
"That's it? We're not even going to talk about it?" Steve asked.
"What's there to talk about?" I said. "At the end of the day even if we do have another kid you're rarely here. You're buried in work. We already have one kid that just started walking and can teleport. He's not even a year old and was already targeted once by Snow and considering who his parents are, his grandpa who at one point actually gave a terrorist his home address, as well as his superhero aunts and uncles it won't be the last. Logistically it doesn't make sense but even ignoring that I still don't want to."
"Nora we have done everything you asked. Everything we've done is on your terms but what about what we want? I can learn to be okay with not ever getting married and I love Wren. He is my son in every way that counts but I want another kid. I want to be a dad again. Can't you even consider it?" Steve said.
"This isn't deciding what we're ordering for dinner and it's not something I'm going to change my mind about." I said. "I'm sorry."
"Are you really?" Steve said angrily. He grabbed his key and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Bucky asked.
"Home. I'm not really in a giving mood." Steve said. "And it looks like it's going around."
With that Steve stormed out slamming the door shut with more force than needed.
Bucky and I sat in the living room for a minute in complete silence.
Did I feel bad about not being able to give Steve what he wanted? A bit but there was no way I was going to let it ruin Wren's first Christmas.
"I'm going to Sam's. Are you…" I asked Bucky.
"I'll stay. I'm not really in the Christmas spirit." He said.
"Right." I said before teleporting to Sam's.
The kids were towards the end of watching Elf and Sam and Aiden were in the kitchen starting with the time-honored tradition of having a drinking game without the kids noticing.
"I'll have whatever you're both having." I said walking in and taking the empty seat between the two of them.
"Steve and Bucky?" Sam asked.
"Steve headed back to the compound and Bucky stayed home. Said he wasn't feeling it." I said.
"You okay?" Aiden asked.
"Yeah." I said. "Didn't really see that coming."
Sam and Aiden exchanged looks. Something I didn't miss.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Don't be mad." Sam said.
"Why would I be mad?" I said.
"I may have seen that coming." Aiden admitted.
"You knew?" I asked.
"I saw them use one of your rings to get your finger size." He said.
"Is that why you were worried about having to move out?" I said finally putting two and two together.
"I figured my eviction notice was going to follow shortly." Aiden said.
"We've been over this." I said. "I'm never going to kick you out. It's your home too."
"I know. But I really didn't feel like being around for the honeymoon phase." He said.
"There won't be a honeymoon phase or maybe any phase for that matter." I said.
"That bad?" Sam asked.
"Yeah but let's not ruin the day talking about that." I said. "It's Christmas and Wren's first one. Let's focus on that. We can get hammered after the kids are asleep"
"Like every other Christmas." Sam said.
"Who are we to mess with tradition." Aiden said.
So that's what we did. We did everything we always do on Christmas day. We saw the movies. We ate cookies, played with the new toys, we sang badly and danced to Christmas carols before eating left overs and when the sugar crash finally hit the kids and they were out of the night Sam brought out the good whiskey and we played the nightmare before Christmas to have some background sound.
"So I know you don't want to talk about it and you don't have to answer if you don't want to but why…" Sam started.
"Didn't I say yes?" I finished for him.
"You seemed happy with them." Sam said.
"It was almost nauseating how lovey dovey you three are together." Aiden added still wearing a Santa hat.
"I was happy. I still am." I said. "Even after everything that we've been through. I love them right now as much as I did when we were together the first time."
"Then what changed?" Sam asked.
"Time." I said. "Life. Death."
"Is this about…" Aiden said giving me a look.
"What thing?" Sam asked.
"No." I told Aiden. "I've been married before and I don't see myself doing it again. Even with them."
"Am I missing something?" Sam asked.
"As it turns out the three of us have different ideas of what we imagined our lives together would be." I said. "I imagined it pretty much as what it is now until Steve and Bucky decided to retire. Bucky saw himself being at the house more and the three of us married and raising Wren and Steve saw us married with a whole soccer team in addition to Wren to come home to after missions and in between team trainings."
"Have you three talked about it before?" Sam asked.
"Not until today. That one no opened up a whole can of worms of no." I said.
"You don't want kids?" Aiden said surprised.
"I have three and that's enough for me." I said.
"Three?" Aiden asked.
"Wren, Connor and Ellie." Sam said. "I say I have three too even though I can only put two on my taxes."
"Three kids, two brothers and two soulmates. That's a complete family for me." I said. "It's everything and more that I ever wished I had as a kid and adding a kid isn't something I want."
"I was going to kill myself." Sam said making Aiden spit out his drink.
"What?!" I said shocked.
"Not today or recently." Sam said.
"Why the fuck would say it like that?!" Aiden said.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I said. "You do not get to check out on us or the kids."
"I know. Look after Jess died when I left that was what I was going to do. I left the kids with you and Wren and I was going to put everything in order then I was going to go visit all the places where Jess and I had our best times ending up in outside of Dublin at that spot cliffside where I proposed and I was going to end it. That was the plan and it is by far the stupidest and most selfish thing I ever considered doing. I couldn't imagine a life without Jess. She was my god damn world and I knew that no matter what the kids would be okay because they had you and Wren. I made it there but I couldn't get out of the car because I kept imagining you in the backseat telling me that if I did that it would be the thing that would haunt Connor and Ellie for the rest of their lives." Sam said.
"It would have. It would have haunted all of us." I said.
"I know but that was how I let go of the perfect family I always dreamed of. My wife and I giving my kids what I never had growing up." He said. "When Jess died and I thought that dream was gone but it wasn't. I was still here. You were here. Wren… Later Aiden and the extended superhero aunts and uncles. The dream wasn't dead, it just ended up looking different than I thought it would. Our family is different but for me it's as close to perfect as it can get."
"I can drink to that." Aiden said downing his glass before pouring us all another one. "We're a fucking mess."
"We are." Sam seconded.
"Yeah…" I said. "I don't know where we go from here. You know for years I always thought that as long as the three of us were together then everything would be alright. That the main obstacle was finding a way to be together. Turns out I should have been more worried about staying together."
"You were 18 when you met them." Aiden said. "And for you it's been what? 35ish years since?"
"Just about." I said.
"You lived a whole life without them while they were frozen. You're not the same kid you were back then and you're not seeing them through rose colored glasses anymore." Sam said. "Couples fight. Jess and I had our problems but at the end of the day we loved each other enough to fight for each other and work it out."
"I gave them 2 big no's in one day." I said.
"Alright that's enough with the pity party. It's most wonderful time of the year and the idiots who thought it would be a good idea to propose without checking if everyone had the same endgame are not going to ruin today for us." Aiden said pulling out goodie bags of edibles. "Especially when we have these stocking stuffers."
"Where the hell did you get that?" Sam asked opening the bag and taking a wiff.
"Amsterdam." Aiden said. "Brought some back with me after my last assignment."
"Perks of the job." I said.
"Well it isn't the pay." Aiden smirked handing out the brownies. "Let's turn on How the Grinch Stole Christmas and enjoy the trip."
"Let me make a quick round to check on the kids." Sam said.
The three of us ended up passed out in Sam's living room only to wake up when Connor brought Ellie and Wren downstairs when they woke up.
"Ma!" Wren cheered when he teleported onto me.
"Oh who's a little ball of sunshine this morning." I said feeling hungover.
"Me!" Ellie cheered.
"Why don't your children know how to sleep in?" Aiden groaned though he did pick up Ellie. "You know night night."
"Unco." Ellie said.
"I'm hungry." Connor said.
"You're hungry?" Sam said. "Who wants Christmas leftovers?"
"For breakfast?" Connor asked.
"The kid's right. Leftovers are not good breakfast food." Aiden said. "Especially when you're H-U-N-G…"
"How about brunch?" I said interrupting Aiden. "Somewhere with very very strong coffee?"
"I know just the place." Aiden said.
Leave it to Aiden to find the best brunch places and even open the day after Christmas. I snuck into the house and grabbed Wren myself and Aiden a change of clothes without Bucky seeing me before we headed out with the kids.
Meanwhile…
It was the day after Christmas and Steve was in his office doing paperwork. Mostly because he couldn't take the pitying looks everyone kept giving him after he told them Nora turned them down. Apparently the only one who didn't know the proposal was going to happen was Nora.
"You're really going to work right now?" Natasha said standing in the doorway to his office.
"Someone has to do all this paperwork." Steve said.
"Have you talked to her?" Natasha asked.
"What's there to talk about? Nora's mind is made up." Steve said.
"How about Bucky?" She asked.
"No." Steve said.
"So you don't know if he's okay?" Natasha asked.
"He's… I don't know. I was in a rush to get out of there before I said something I'd regret later." Steve said.
"That's an improvement." She said.
"I'm really not in the mood for this Natasha." Steve said.
"Is this really how you want to leave things with them?" Natasha said. "So she doesn't want to get married. That doesn't mean you can't be together."
"She doesn't want to have kids either. Apparently, Bucky doesn't either." He said.
"Makes sense." Natasha said and Steve looked at her feeling betrayed. "She already has a kid. A kid she died giving birth to and Bucky's been through a lot. He's still adjusting to everything."
"I thought this is what we all wanted." Steve said. "We're finally together and it's amazing. We rebuilt our relationship and it was even better than it was before and we were ready to take the next step."
"Did any of you mention this before?" She asked.
"It was what we all wanted before. It was what we said we wanted when we proposed the first time." Steve said.
"It's been over seventy years." Natasha deadpanned.
"That's exactly my point. We waited more than seventy years to be together." Steve said.
"And along the way you all grew up." She said. "The whole point of you three starting over was build a relationship for who you all are now. You fought for her to give you another chance and now you're walking away just because she said no?"
"I'm not walking away." Steve said.
"Then what are you doing here when both of your soulmates are in the city?" Natasha said.
Back at the house…
Bucky hadn't come out of his room the whole day. Aiden was giving us space and crashing at Sam's for another night in case things got messy so it was just me and Wren. Once I put him down for the night I started getting ready for bed when I sensed something in the air shift. The water coming out of my sink faucet froze in time and when I looked in the mirror Aya was behind me.
"You said no." Aya said.
"And you're just saying something about it now?" I said.
"I was giving you space and time to process. And I did tell you I was going to stop meddling in your love life." Aya said.
"So you knew they were going to propose?" I said.
"They proposed on Christmas the first time it was fairly obvious they were going to do it and with the same ring I might add." Aya said.
"The ring isn't the problem." I said.
"Honestly I'm surprised you said no. I would have thought you'd jump into their arms and say 'Yes! Yes! A million times yes!'" She mocked.
"I don't sound like that." I said.
"You do to me." Aya teased. "So why didn't you say yes?"
"I don't want to get married." I said.
"Because you're going to die?" Aya said.
"No. I just don't want to get married." I said.
"While I do agree that the human institution of marriage is nothing but is an overrated and insignificant concept as well as a complete waste of good paper, you have been married before. You could have just said yes to avoid a tantrum." Aya said.
"Avoiding a tantrum isn't a good reason to get married." I said.
"Though not having children will do that?" Aya said.
"That's a whole other issue of its own." I said.
"Is it?" Aya said. "This is why you were never meant to find out. It was going to change everything."
"Of course it was but not enough." I said. "Even knowing I'm still going to die and I've accepted it."
"Then why?" Aya asked. "Is it Wren?"
"They're good dads." I started.
"Not the Wren I was talking about." Aya said. "He loved you more than anything and you know he would not be against you marrying them if it was what you wanted."
"That's just it. I don't want to marry them and it's not about me dying." I said making Aya look at me confused. "In 1945 I would have said yes and married them on the spot but then I lost them. I picked myself up and carried on and because I did that, I met Wren. I didn't think I could ever love anyone the way I loved my soulmates. It was their names on my wrists so they were supposed to be my end all be all, right? Turns out I was wrong because even without having his name on me I fell in love with Wren. I did it without even realizing it and in the best and worst of times that didn't change. He made me want to live again and right when we were just getting started he died. Losing Steve and Bucky made me want to die but losing Wren that did kill me. A part of me died with him because I don't think I've been the same since. We got married because of a legal loophole we needed but we stayed together because we loved each other. He was the love of my life and I don't have his name on my skin but I did get to call him my husband and that has to count for something."
"I understand." Aya said.
"You're probably the only person who can." I said wiping the tears I hadn't even realized had fallen down my face.
"So don't get married if it's not what you want but you love your kids. You could have another one if you wanted. I know five years isn't as much time as you would have liked but it's still quite a bit of time." Aya said.
"Aya I'm going to die and leave one kid an orphan, how can I knowingly bring another kid into the world knowing I'm going to abandon them?" I said. "How would that be fair to them? I have Wren, Connor, and Ellie, Three amazing kids who I plan on making the most out of the time I have left with. If that isn't enough for Steve well that's something he has to come to terms with."
"And if he can't?" Aya said.
"I lived a whole life without him once, I can do it again. I don't want to but I will." I said.
The Next Morning…
I woke up early and went through the usual routine. I was having breakfast and feeding Wren in between bites when Bucky came in.
"Morning." He said awkwardly.
"Morning." I said. "There's coffee and eggs and bacon on the stove."
"Thanks." Bucky said walking to the stove and picking at the bacon.
When he noticed I was juggling feeding Wren and myself he took the spoon and took over feeding Wren.
"I talked to Steve." He said ending the silence.
"You did?" I said surprised.
"He said he'd come by later." Bucky said.
"That's… good." I said not knowing what exactly I was supposed to say to that. Did we need to talk definitely but I didn't want to fight.
"What happened on Christmas.. I… we…" He started.
"Bucky maybe we should wait until we're all here." I said.
"Right." He said.
"Ba!" Wren called out reaching for the spoon.
"Sorry bud, here comes the plane…" Bucky said. "Whoosh!"
"Ah!" Wren smiled opening wide.
It was about an hour later that Steve got there. Wren was in his kiddy coral playing with his building blocks while we were in the kitchen keeping him within sight.
"I… uh… shouldn't have left the way I did on Christmas." Steve said.
"I understand you needed some space to clear your head but I think a walk would have had the same effect." I said.
"Or going downstairs to the gym." Bucky offered.
"You're right and I was stupid and missed Wren's first Christmas." Steve said.
"You got to see him open presents and look cute in his little outfit and Santa hat." I said.
"Still." Steve said. "It was a big one."
"There'll be more holidays." I said.
"Yeah and uh… I guess I should also say sorry for springing that all on you." Steve said. "I just thought since we were doing so good and I thought we were happy."
"We are happy." I corrected.
"I guess it was just too soon." Steve said.
"Promise we won't propose in front of other people next time." Bucky said trying to ease the tension but only making me feel worse.
"Yeah we obviously need to sort some stuff out before that." Steve said.
"We never really talked about where we saw ourselves in the long term and we all obviously have different ideas about that." I said.
"Obviously." Bucky said.
"I always thought that was the dream. The three of us in a house somewhere upstate. White picket fence. A dog and kids running on the yard." Steve said.
"That was seventy years ago." Bucky said.
"I don't think they even make houses with white picket fences anymore." I said. "But we do have a kid and a dog?"
"We do but I thought we'd have more." Steve said. "It's what we wanted."
"Wanted before." Bucky said.
"Way before." I said.
"How can you two just change your minds?" Steve said.
"It didn't happen overnight." I said.
"I fell off a train, lost an arm and was brainwashed into a killing machine on and off for seventy years." Bucky said.
"I lost you two, got married, buried a city with everyone in it, Buried my husband and best friend, hunted down a sociopath that raised superpowered child soldiers, got stranded and lost in time more than once, and between all of that I had a kid." I said.
"I understand that we're not the same people we were before but…" Steve started.
"But nothing. We're not the same people." I said. "I had a talk with Sam and Aiden about what we thought the perfect family was. Sam said he always saw him and Jess with two kids giving them everything he wished he had growing up but that when Jess died he thought that dream died. He said that it took him letting go of that dream to realize that the dream was still real it just looked different. Maybe we're not living in a cozy house up state with half a soccer team of kids running around but it's still us together with an amazing son who is surrounded by people who love him."
"It sounds like a pretty perfect dream to me." Bucky said.
"It is." Steve said. "I just…. I want another chance to get it right from the beginning. I wasn't there for you because it wasn't my place to be and with Sharon..."
I had to suppress the urge to blast something at the mention of that bitch's name something that did not go unnoticed by Bucky and Steve.
"I wasn't the best… partner." Steve said.
"It wasn't your fault." Bucky said.
It wasn't my place to say anything so I let Bucky take the lead or well handle everything.
"I should have been there. I was supposed to be there." Steve said. "And because I wasn't he died and Sharon…"
I grasped the mug in my hand tight making it crack.
"She got hurt. She was always crazy to begin with so that's not on you." I said.
"I could have…" He started.
"No." I said.
"You don't understand." Steve said.
"You being there wouldn't have changed a thing other than you being dead." I said. "It was a tragedy and I wouldn't wish it on anyone even Peggy's niece but it happened and the only person at fault is the one who set the bomb in that mall."
"I know that but that wasn't the only time I screwed up. Starting a family is something I always wanted, something I always imagined from the beginning to holding my son for the first time. I never got to hold him Nora." Steve said. "We can do it right."
"There's no right or wrong way to become a parent Steve." I said. "We can't change the past, we can only control the here and now and my present and future is in the other room trying to stack his toy blocks on Axl."
"Just like that?" Steve said.
"I know how important having kids is to you. You walked out on me twice because you thought I wouldn't be able to give you what you wanted" I said and immediately Steve looked at me hurt at my words. "And I completely understood why because you are meant to be a dad Steve. You are going to be an amazing dad and I know that for a fact but the only kid I will ever bring into this world is Wren. The only kids I will raise are Wren, Connor, and Ellie. And that's just how it is."
"No kids, no marriage… Where do we go from here?" Steve asked. "Is there anywhere to go?"
"We can build a life together. It's what we've been doing and it works." I said. "We're happy."
"We're happy but you don't want more." Steve said.
"Do you honestly think we can handle more?" Bucky said. "As it stands right now we're just hitting our stride. We can juggle things here and at the compound because there isn't a lot going on."
"How long until the next alien invasion or murderbot? Let's not forget random trips through time and everything that comes with it." I said.
"We can figure it out." Steve said.
"That's the point." Bucky said. "We're still figuring this out. I want to get married one day but maybe right now isn't the time for it."
"And for me it never will be." I said.
"Ma!" Wren cried out from the living room.
"Movie's probably over." I said walking to the next room. "Oh is Monsters Inc over? No more Boo?"
"Ayayayaya." Wren babbled.
"What are we watching then? Simba? Mickey?" I asked.
"Eeeey" He cheered.
"Mickey mouse it is but only one more episode, I seriously need to cut down on your TV time." I said.
Steve and Bucky stood in the doorway watching. Bucky with a smile while Steve had a longing look in his eyes.
"BA!" Wren said raising his arms up towards Bucky opening and closing his hands.
"Hey little man." Bucky said picking him up. Wren immediately put an arm on his shoulder while he started tracing the plates on Bucky's metal hand. It was only a few minutes before Wren noticed Steve and was jumping on Bucky's map trying to get Steve's attention.
"Hey Buddy." Steve said lifting him up. Wren immediately started talking in his baby babble almost as if he was trying to fill him in on everything he had missed since he last saw him. Steve answered him as if he could even understand him even adding in a few questions here and there. When he was all talked out Wren refused to be put down just cuddled into Steve's arms as he watched TV before drifting off to sleep.
I meant what I said. Steve was meant to be a dad and he was good one but I wasn't meant to have more kids.
Once Wren was put down in his crib we all sort of decided to table the issue for now. We had a better understanding of where we were at and while we hadn't really agreed on anything we did agree that marriage at the moment was not a good idea. Though it was looming over the three of us.
Then came Wren's first birthday. It had been a whole year since I became a mom. A year ago I died and came back and it wasn't even the only time I died that year.
It had been months since I had talked to dad and while I had my issues with him, he was a great grandpa so for Wren I sucked it up and went to go see him.
I anxiously stared at the floor numbers slowly increase until the elevator stopped at the Penthouse.
"Penthouse level." Friday said as the elevator doors opened.
I stood there not taking a step.
"You seem a bit anxious." Friday said. "Should I have some tea made for you?"
"No just… I'm not about to walk into any orgys or anything I shouldn't see right?" I asked.
"Mister Stark is alone and fully clothed." Friday said.
"Well that's something." I said taking a breath before stepping out.
"Friday can you put in an order for…" Dad started but froze when he saw me. "Nora."
"Hey." I said.
"What are you doing here?" he said surprised.
"I was in the neighborhood." I said.
"A bit out of your way." He said.
"Well turns out there's a lot more to planning a one year old's birthday party than cake and balloons." I said.
"One year." He said finally realizing how long it had been. "It's this weekend isn't it?"
"Yeah." I said. "He really likes the Lion King and those National Geographic documentaries or pretty much anything with animals in it so I figured a safari theme party at the Zoo was a safe bet."
"Makes sense." He said.
"It's this Saturday at 11." I said handing him the invitation. "Central Park Zoo. It's just a small thing. Just us Sam and the kids and some other kids from his Gymboree class. It'd be really nice if you could make it but if you're busy..."
"No. I'm not. I'll be there." He said quickly before I could take back the invitation.
"Okay." I said. "I should get going…"
"Yeah… and uh… congrats on the engagement." He said.
"Huh?" I asked confused.
"Oh shit did they not do it yet?" Dad asked. That was when I remembered that Steve and Bucky had actually asked for Dad's blessing before popping the question.
"Oh no they did." I said. "I just said no."
"You did?" Dad said surprised. "I thought you and Capsicle had worked things out."
"We did and the three of us are good." I said.
"But still no?" He asked confused.
"Still no." I said.
"Oh that's…" he started before just being honest. "I don't know what the right thing to say here is."
"There's not really anything to say about it." I said as my phone buzzed. "I really do have to go now."
"Yeah. I'll see you Saturday. What type of Pony should I buy Wren?" Dad asked.
"No ponies." I said.
"Not even one?" He asked.
"My backyard is big for New York but not big enough for a pony." I said.
"So a whole stable then?" He teased.
"Only if you personally muck out the stables everyday." I said.
"Never mind." He said grossed out at the thought of the smell.
Turns out even after hiring caterers and decorators it still busy work to make decisions with all the options they had. The days leading up to the party I was running errands back and forth until finally it was the day of.
"Rise and shine." I sang walking into Wren's room. Wren cheered from where he was sitting on the floor playing with his toys. My little jailbird had teleported himself out of his crib. Lucky for me he didn't go too far.
"Mama!" he cheered.
"Wren!" I cheered picking him up.
"Mama!" He said making me laugh.
"I swear you keep saying that I'll let you eat all the cake you want." I said blowing a raspberry on his cheek.
Steve and Bucky had spent the night and were already making breakfast when I came downstairs.
"There's the birthday boy." Bucky said.
"BA!" Wren cheered practically jumping into Bucky's arms.
"One whole year already." Steve said brushing his hair out of his face before kissing the top of Wren's head.
"Time flies." I said as mentally realizing that as my son was one year older it meant that I was one year closer to dying.
"Who wants pancakes?" Steve said.
"Ah!" Wren cheered.
"You said the magic word." Aiden said walking in looking hungover as hell.
"Hey you, and what time did you get in?" I said handing him a cup of coffee.
"Late. Very late." He said. "Intel gathering took a bit longer than expected but I got what we needed and still made it in time for the party. There is going to be an open bar right?"
"It's a kids birthday party." Steve deadpanned not liking what Aiden was implying.
"It was a joke. Lighten up. I don't want you rubbing off on my nephew." Aiden said taking Wren from Bucky who happily cheered when his uncle lifted him up and handed him a strawberry to munch on.
"I could think of a few things I don't want you rubbing off on him." Steve said.
"Like my charming personality, great sense of humor and incredible survival instincts?" Aiden retorted.
"Those are good things to have." I said prepping a plate and putting it down in front of Aiden. "But either way you should eat up, kids birthday party at the zoo is not hangover friendly."
"Especially if you and your dad get into it again." Aiden said and Steve dropped the spatula.
"Tony's coming?" Steve said surprised.
"Yeah I invited him." I said.
"We didn't know you were talking again." Bucky asked.
"Not really. I just stopped by to invite him to the party. We have our differences but he is a good grandpa. I figured he'd want to be there for it." I said.
"So no bar but does that mean I can't bring my own?" Aiden started and I gave him a look. "To help run interference."
"I'm a single mom." I said. "I don't need the future PTA moms judging me more than they already do."
"No one is judging…" Steve started.
"Yes they are." Aiden said having been around more and been to the Gymboree classes to see it first hand. "It's what they do."
"Exactly." I said.
"It's also why you rented out an entire zoo for a one year old's party who isn't even going to remember this." Aiden said.
"No. I did it because it's his first birthday and birthday's are important. Because let me tell you it freaking sucks to be the kid with absolutely no friends other than her nana and a hungover father to cut the cake with every year and then to look back at the photos to realize that some of the people in those photos are dead and won't be around to take another cheesy photo in front of the cake and that cheesy photo that made you sad before now makes you sad because those people you love are gone and are never coming back and you'll never get to take another cheesy photo in front of the cake with them again…" I cried.
"uh…" Aiden said just staring in shock.
"Doll, you okay?" Bucky said
"I'm fine." I said obviously not fine.
"Uh Hi." Tony said. "Is now a bad…"
And that's when I let out a sob before teleporting back up to my room and slamming the door shut.
Third Person's POV-
"Wah…" Nora sobbed before teleporting.
The only thing the four men and toddler in the kitchen heard was a door upstairs slam shut.
"Ooooh." Wren cooed.
"That wasn't because of me right?" Tony asked.
"I don't think so." Bucky said still confused about what just happened.
"Should we…" Steve asked.
"Uh maybe give her a minute to let it out." Aiden said.
"I was just here to see if there was any last minute things I could help with." Tony said. "Or maybe just take you out for breakfast."
"We made pancakes." Steve said.
"I can see that. you're really rocking the apron Cap." Tony said making Steve turn red. "Stars and striped on it too."
"Nora gave it to me for Christmas." Steve said.
"Sure she did." Tony said taking a seat next to his grandson.
"To!" Wren cheered.
"Hey kiddo. Damn you got big." Tony said finally realizing how much he had missed in the past few months.
Back upstairs…
I was on my bed curled up in a ball hugging a pillow as I cried.
"Nora." Aya said appearing.
"I know. I know." I said trying to stop but not being able to stop it.
"You know but you're still crying." Aya said.
"I only get 5 birthdays and this is the first one." I cried.
"Technically four." Aya said making me cry again. "I thought we were past this."
"So did I." I said.
"Do you need to see him?" She asked and even without her saying it I knew who she was talking about.
"No. I can't tell him about it." I said. Aya sighed before freezing time.
"Okay let it out." Aya said.
"What?" I said.
"Let it out. Cry, scream, blast things. Do what you need to do." She said.
"You can't be serious." I said before Aya lifted a hand and blasted my vanity mirror shattering it to pieces.
"I'm that serious." She said.
I looked around before I saw my bedside lamp and blasted it. Then I blasted the other lamp and the door, the window, the wall… just everything. I pretty much destroyed the entire house. There were feathers and dust flying in the air and when I was done I sat on the floor leaning against the wall panting.
"Better?" Aya asked and I nodded. With that she rewinded time so everything moved back and was fixed to its original state.
I was back on my bed and Aya waited until I gave her the go ahead before starting time again. I took a breath before going back downstairs.
"Hey we were just about to go up." Steve said.
"Sorry… it's a big day and PMS…" I started and the four men in my kitchen immediately cringed and tried to shrug it off. Typical men. I say PMS and they can't drop the conversation fast enough.
We all ate breakfast making small talk and ignoring the gigantic trainwreck in the room to focus on what really mattered today. Once Wren had his fill, I got him dressed in his little safari outfit that consisted of beige cargo pants and an olive utility vest with a white tee shirt under that said 'I'm one year old!' before getting dressed in my own matching outfit. I opted for a beige safari romper with knee high lace up brown leather heeled boots. I had tights on under to keep me warm.
.
"We should really hurry up or you're going to be late to your own party." Dad said. "Traffic is…"
The four of us just gave him a look.
"Oh right forgot who I was talking to." Tony said just as Sam called out from the front door.
"Morning… and yes I know we're late but Connor lost a shoe and Ellie was throwing a tantrum." Sam said.
"Would you relax you're right on time." I said.
"No early is on time, on time is late." Sam said obviously looking very flustered.
"I'll take this little angel." Aiden said taking Ellie who happily went to her uncle. "You sit and have a coffee."
"I don't think coffee…" Sam started.
"Coffee." I said placing a cup in front of him. "Now breathe."
"But…" Sam started.
"Breathe." Aiden and I said at the same time.
"I'll go put his shoes on." Bucky said taking Wren and kissing my cheek before he walked upstairs.
"Uncle Tony!" Connor said finally seeing him and immediately hugging his legs.
"Oh!" Dad said surprised. "Hey kiddo. You got big."
"Did you know that the red panda isn't really a panda? It's actually a cousin of a racoon!" Connor cheered.
"Really?" Dad said.
"Yeah Connor's been reading up on all the animals at the zoo to prepare for today." Steve said. "What was that things about snow leopards you were telling me about?"
"Snow leopards can shoot their pee up to six feet away." Connor said making Dad choke on his coffee a bit.
"That's…. someone actually measured that?" Tony asked.
"Yeah." Aiden said letting Ellie bite into a strawberry so she'd be too distracted to notice him slipping on her head band.
"Okay the birthday boy is ready." Bucky said walking in with Wren holding his hand and walking on his own.
"Oh shit! He's walking! Nora he's walking!" Dad said really excited to see Wren walk for the first time.
"Language." Steve mumbled softly so dad wouldn't here him and start teasing him again.
"He's been doing that for a few weeks now." Aiden said.
"He has?" Dad said turning to me.
"Yeah we had to re-babyproof everything in the house." I said. "Because apparently the already baby proofed house wasn't safe enough."
"The house was a death trap." Steve said. "Sharp corners, wobbly cabinets… it was an accident waiting to happen."
"And now you can't even get the toilet seat up." Bucky said.
"I figured it out." Steve said.
"After finding a video on youtube." Aiden said.
"You could have just read the instructions." I said.
"The instructions didn't make sense." Steve said. "It's not my fault I'm the only person in the house that can't read Chinese."
"Did you check the English instructions on the back?" Bucky said.
"There was an English side?" Steve said surprised.
"Aww… sweetie. It's okay. We all know you're technologically challenged, just next time leave the baby proofing to someone with an engineering degree okay?" I said hugging him. That made him smile and he gave me a quick kiss returning the hug.
"Alright who's ready for the zoo?" I said.
"Zoo!" Connor cheered.
"Alright. I'm taking multiple trips so who's first?" I said.
"You should probably take those with a weak stomach first." Aiden suggested.
"He's probably right." I said taking Steve and dad first before teleporting them to the zoo.
"Oh!" Dad groaned. "A little heads up would have been nice."
"It's better if you don't see it coming." I said before teleporting back to the house. Sam and the kid went next and lastly was Aiden and Wren.
"Whoa…" Aiden said looking around.
"Too much?" I asked.
"Well you have a whole candy table of choking hazards." Aiden said.
"That's not for the kids." I said. "It's for the parents and superhero aunts and uncles."
"Okee!" Wren cheered when one of the zookeepers passed by with a capuchin monkey clinging to his shoulder. Immediately he ran after him.
"Gotcha." Dad said grabbing Wren and picking him up.
"Okee!" Wren whined pointing at the monkey.
"Don't worry kiddo. You'll see the monkey later." Dad reassured him.
It wasn't long before the rest of the guests showed up. It was weird to see the baby group moms socialize with the superheroes in the room.
I was busy wrangling the birthday boy who had not stopped asking about the monkeys while simultaneously looking after all the guests. Finally it was time for the tour and behind the scenes experience.
"So what's the deal Nora and Captain America?" one of the moms whispered loudly.
"Are they like together?" Another asked.
"I thought she was with the British guy?" Another said.
"No, at least I hope not. He was putting the moves on Nancy." The other said.
"And claire…" The mom added.
"I thought she was with the Winter Soldier?" One added.
"Uh… why would she let that guy near her kid? Is that even safe." One shrill voice said before I teleported behind them.
"Ladies!" I said making them jump.
"Nora hey." They said.
"Having fun?" I said.
"Oh yeah it was a great idea to have a party at the zoo and I love your outfits." The bitchy one said.
"Thanks. Have you guys met Sam?" I asked.
"You mean The Falcon?" One said smiling and waving at said superhero.
"I actually meant the other Sam." I said waving at my brother. "My brother. He's not a superhero but does kick ass in the courtroom. He's actually the one that put together the ironclad NDA you signed when you came in. He's also the one that's going to sue you for everything you've got including your kid's college and trust funds if you breach said contract. You know what they say, not all heroes wear capes. Enjoy the party."
With that I teleported back to where Bucky was holding Wren up so he could get a better look at the penguins.
Suffice to say that was the last any of the other moms tried to talk about my complicated love life. At least within earshot of me.
Finally it was time for the cheesy birthday cake photo. It was lit up with a number candle and sparklers.
"Who's excited to try cake for the first time?" I said.
"Ah!" Wren cheered.
"Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday dear Wren… happy birthday to you." Everyone sang.
"Blow it out." I said taking a deep breath trying to show Wren how.
He immediately got it and did it but it wasn't strong enough to put out the candle so when he tried it again Steve blew at the same time putting out the candle.
"Yay!" I cheered.
Wren turned to me with a huge smile and one of the photographers managed to snap a photo of that which I ended up hanging over the mantle.
After the main party was over the afterparty came back to the house to just sit back and relax. The kids were happy to be surrounded by adults more than happy to sit around and play. Connor found it especially fun to try and set up 'impossible' targets for Clint to shoot at around the house, which he never missed. Wren was happy to run around after Ellie, something I was sure was not going to the last time it happened.
"Good party." Aiden said pouring me a drink. "Even if there was no bar."
"It was a kid's party at the zoo." I said taking the glass.
"Yeah it would have been nice to have a nice scotch to drink while you threatened the other group moms." He said.
"I didn't threaten anyone." I said taking a sip. "I merely stated a fact."
"Oh keep saying it like that. It'll hold up in court better." Sam said taking his own glass.
"No one is going to court… well except you for work." I said.
"Obviously." Sam said as we watched everyone in the other room mingle and interact with the kids. "This is nice."
"I've never been interested in the apple pie life but this… this I could get used to." Aiden said.
"Yeah." I said.
"Are you three hogging the good stuff?" Natasha said walking in.
"No we were just about to get everyone's drink order." Sam said signaling Aiden to get up with him.
Once they were out of earshot…
"Nice job telling off the group moms." Natasha said. "Remind me to stay on your good side."
"I only have a good side." I retorted.
"Yeah, They look happy. You all do." Natasha said looking at Steve and Bucky.
"We have our ups and our downs but we figure it out." I said.
"Have you figured it out enough to want to say yes?" She said.
"Nice try Nat." I said.
"I had to try." She said. "Now where's the good vodka?"
"Freezer." I said "Kept it nice and cold for you."
"Doll do we still have some of those sausage appetizer things?" Bucky asked.
"Bucky we have everything." I said waving around to the kitchen filled with leftover food from the party.
"Right." He said grabbing two trays and taking them back to the living room.
Even after the after party we still had a ton of left overs so I dropped them off at a shelter downtown. When I came back I was surprised to see dad still at the house and cleaning up.
"You're still here." I said.
"Yeah thought I'd help clean up a bit." Dad said.
"That's a first." I said.
"I clean." He said.
"If by clean you mean you hire a cleaning service then yeah you do clean." I said.
"I clean your grandfather now he never cleaned." Dad said.
"No Gramps did clean but only his lab." I said. "He liked things arranged a certain way. It looked like a mess but it was an organized mess. Outside of the lab though… yeah Jarvis did everything. He even cleaned up some of my messes. That man did not get paid enough for everything he did."
"I sometimes forget you knew them… better than I did." He said adding the last part as an afterthought.
"I wouldn't say better than you. We knew them at different times in their lives." I said.
"Cap and Tin man are putting Wren down. They're really good with him." Dad said.
"They are." I said smiling.
"I screwed up." He said. "When I said that you were spiraling and throwing everything away. You weren't. You're a good mom and seeing the kid today walking and talking and I think he may have teleported at some point. I missed a lot with him and I missed everything with you. I get why you did it. You never do anything without a reason and I should know better by now. I was putting all my issues on you. You have a whole life of your own and mine is kind of a mess right now."
"If we're being honest, your life has kind of always been a mess." I said.
"Thanks, Nora." He said sarcastically.
"Speaking as the secret love child you hid away from the world and the girlfriend you wanted to marry for twenty plus years." I said pointing out one of the biggest messes of his life. "I do have a whole life, that doesn't mean it's not a mess but as messy as things are I never lose sight of what really matters. Focus on the things that matter. Make that your priority and everything else will sort itself out."
"Are Cap and cyborg your priority?" he asked.
"Wren, Connor, and Ellie." I said. "They're a package deal."
"I can see that." Dad said looking at the photo of the three of them I had on the fridge with a strange far-off look. "It's getting late and I should get going."
"Yeah. Thanks for coming." I said.
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world." He said. "We should grab lunch sometime."
"Well my schedule's wide open so just say when." I said.
With dad gone I used my powers to make the whole mess fly into the garbage bags and the teleported those bags out to the trash bin. Once that was done I locked up and shut off the lights before heading upstairs.
I sat down on my bed and slipped off my boots sighing in relief when I slipped the first one off.
"Ah…" I sighed.
"Long day?" Bucky asked.
"Who knew kid's parties could be so tiring." I said reaching for the second one but Bucky stopped me and unzipped the boot before carefully slipping it off He then started rubbing my feet making me moan. "Ah… Have I told you how much I love you lately? Because I do. I love you so so mu-Ah…"
"You mentioned that a few times." He said. "I heard what you told the other moms."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said playing dumb.
"I have super soldier hearing Nora." He reminded me.
"Well they were being a bunch of nosey bitches and needed to be put in their place." I said.
"You didn't have to do that." he said.
"Yes I did." I said sitting up and gently cupping Bucky's face with both of my hands. "They had no right to talk about you like that much less decide what is best for our kid."
"They weren't wrong though. I did kill those people." Bucky said.
"Bucky there's not a single person in this house that hasn't killed someone." I said. "There also isn't a single person in this house who does not love the crap out of that kid and would do anything to make he is safe and happy. Those moms were talking because that's all they know how to do. They don't know us and they especially don't know what a good man you are."
"I still did it Nora." Bucky said.
"But it wasn't your choice." I said. "And if that isn't enough the fact that you still feel guilty about what they did to you is just proof of your good heart because I have no doubt if you could go back and change all of it you would."
Bucky didn't say anything he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight.
"Did you manage to talk some sense into him?" Steve said standing by the door.
"I think so but I think someone's in desperate need of some cuddling for reassurance." I said.
"I'm right here." Bucky mumbled against my neck.
"Is that a no?" I asked.
Bucky answered that by picking me up and putting me in bed next to him.
"I'm still in my safari outfit." I told him.
"I can help with that." bucky said slowly unbuttoning my romper as he kissed my neck making me laugh.
All in all the new year was off to a great start.
I should have known it wasn't going to last.