Hey everyone, sorry for the delay I got hit with the idea for a new story and I got a bit carried away again but that doesn't mean I haven't been working on this one. I just needed a break from Nora. I've read your comments and I totally get it. I'm not exactly Nora's biggest fan right now which is funny since I'm the one writing her and I get that she's all over the place but there's a reason for it. the first is that I'm trying to set things up for civil war and the second is for something down the line. I've already set up clues for it in a few of the past chapters.
It'll make sense later but for now thanks for staying on this insane rollercoaster with me.
So without further delay here's the next chapter. Again this is all setting up for civil war so please don't hate me.
The latter half of 2014 and the beginning half of 2015 was the year of hell. This year though it was supposed to be good. We were off to an amazing start and despite a slight little hiccup with the surprise engagement I turned down we were able to move past it and go on with our lives.
My toddler son was running around the house on his own. He had even managed to learn to teleport from his room upstairs to the living room downstairs. That took some getting used to.
I tweaked some of Friday's monitoring settings and we were able to adjust to the new schedule. Wren needed to practice his teleporting and I didn't want to hinder his progress but I also didn't want him to teleport into the middle of the street.
January flew by and before I knew it Valentine's Day was right around the corner. I was helping Connor write up his Valentines and pack his classmates goodie bags.
"So is there any special valentine you need help writing?" I asked Connor.
"No we got all of my friends." Connor said.
"Really? No special someone?" Bucky asked.
"Everyone is special." Connor said.
"Yes they are buddy." I said kissing the top of his head.
"Do you need help with your cards too Auntie?" Connor asked.
"No sweetie that's okay. Grownups don't really write valentines to each other." I said.
"Not even to your friends?" Connor said.
"No. So enjoy the free candy while it lasts." I said.
"Speaking of Valentine's day… do you have any plans?" Bucky asked.
"Uh I have a feeling I'm about to." I said.
"Steve and I were thinking that instead of going out we could make you dinner at the compound." Bucky said.
"That sounds nice. Are we making this like a Friendsgiving type of situation?" I asked.
"No it'll just be us." Bucky said.
"Okay, Then I need to go shopping for a dress." I said.
"I'm sure you'll find something." Bucky said before switching to French. "Or you could wear nothing at all."
I just gave him smirk.
"A bet you'd like that wouldn't you?" I answered back in French.
"Uh… that's more than I needed to know." Aiden said in French reminding us we were not the only adults that spoke multiple languages currently in the house.
"Sorry." Bucky and I said not meaning it in the slightest.
"Guess that means I'm babysitting." Aiden said.
"You don't have Valentine's day plans? Isn't that like bachelor Christmas?" I asked.
"No spending Valentine's day with a woman gives the impression that you're serious enough about the relationship to put in the effort for more than one night." Aiden said. "The only relationship with a woman in which I put any effort in is with you."
"I know and I so deeply appreciate you finally learning to put the toilet seat back down." I said making Bucky snort.
"I aim to please." Aiden said sarcastically.
So on Valentine's Day Bucky and Steve spent the day at the compound getting everything ready. I have no idea why making dinner would take all day but I left them to it while I took the day to volunteer at Connor's school and also to get a dress for my date.
It was a bit last minute and there wasn't a red dress that really convinced me but then I saw this gorgeous sleeveless black lace midi dress with a plunging neckline. It wasn't the traditional Valentine's day dress but it fit me perfectly and Steve and Bucky had a thing for seeing me in lacey things. I figured it would be a nice surprise.
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Once I was ready I packed Wren's bag before teleporting over to Sam's house where Connor had not come down from his sugar high and Ellie was right behind him.
"Wow." I said as Connor whooshed right by me.
"Connor don't run in the house!" Sam called out from the kitchen.
"You just had to let him have all the candy he wanted." Aiden said.
"He's a kid besides he should crash soon." I said putting Wren down so he could join in on the fun.
"Look at you…" Sam said smiling.
"It's Valentine's day I figured there wasn't a better time to go all out." I said. "And this dress makes my boobs look amazing."
"It really does." Aiden said. "I don't think you're going to make your reservation."
"We don't have any. They're cooking me dinner." I said.
"Dinner in bed." Sam said. "You're not making it home tonight."
"The walk of shame awaits." Aiden said.
"There is absolutely no shame involved." I said. "but I do have to get going or I'll be late. Call me if anything happens."
"Nothing's going to happen." Sam said. "Go have fun."
With that I teleported to the compound.
"Something smells god in here." I said walking to the kitchen but whatever they made was surprisingly not there.
"Hey Nora." Sam said.
"Hey Sam." I said.
"if you're looking for dinner they already took it to set up for you date." He said.
"Set up?" I asked. "I thought we were just going to eat in here."
"No us single folk are having an action movie marathon." He said.
"You don't have a date? What happened to that girl in accounting?" I asked.
"That didn't really go anywhere." Sam admitted.
"Hey stranger." Natasha said walking in a red mini dress obviously going somewhere with Clint. "Nice dress."
"I love your too and those shoes…" I said.
"If only we were the same size." She said.
"Nora." Rhodey said.
"Hey dad. Hot date?" I asked seeing him so dressed up.
"No I going with your dad to an event. Pepper's supposed to be there so I'm going for moral support." He said.
"Yikes." I said.
"Yeah, but there's an open bar so I have that to look forward to." Rhodey said.
"Good luck." I said. "Any idea where my dates are?"
"They should be around here…" Sam said.
"Nora." Steve said walking in but freezing when he saw me. "Wow."
"You're pretty wow yourself." I said greeting him with a kiss. The blue button up dress shirt he was wearing made his eyes look even more blue.
"You look beautiful." He said smiling at me. "Bucky is just finishing setting up and…"
He started before holding out a blind fold.
"A blindfold? That's kinky." I said making Steve blush bright red and everyone else just laughed.
"We don't want to ruin the surprise." Steve said helping me put it on.
"Alright then." I said letting him put it on. "Just don't let me fall."
"Wouldn't dream of it." Steve said putting an arm around my waist. "Well have fun guys."
"Use protection." Rhodey called out.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I retorted.
So Steve led me out of the building and outside towards the lake. At least I think we were by the lake because smell and the sound of ducks.
"Hey we ready?" Steve asked.
"Just about." Bucky said before Steve carefully took off the blindfold to reveal the deck by the lake that was decorated with candles and twinkle lights and flowers. Not red roses but hydrangeas and white roses which I preferred.
"You two did all of this?" I asked.
"We figured we had more than seventy Valentine's days to make up for." Bucky said. "Do you like it?"
"I love it. Thank you guys." I said hugging them.
"Let's sit down before the food gets cold." Steve said helping me step up onto the deck while Bucky pulled out my chair for me.
"Thank you." I said sitting down. Bucky took out a champagne bottle and popped it open pouring us drinks.
Steve and Bucky had made a juicy roasted chicken with braised carrots and asparagus and mashed potatoes and gravy.
"Mhmm if you two retired and opened up your own restaurant I'd never be able to get a table." I said.
"If we had a restaurant there would always be a table for you." Steve said.
"Only for you." Bucky said. "And leave room for dessert."
"You guys made dessert too? This night just keeps getting better and better." I said.
It was truly a great night we laughed and just made me remember why loved them so much. Of course it couldn't last.
After we danced a bit and I shared some stories of the commandos after the war Steve brought out dessert. It was an individual flourless chocolate cake with a. scoop of ice cream. He put down Bucky and his plate on the table before putting down mine and when he removed the cover instead of a cake there was a rose and a velvet ring box presenting an engagement ring.
And I froze. At least I thought I did but I had a bit of a Freudian slip.
"Oh shit." I said.
"Nora…" Steve started. "Bucky and I talked and we didn't do this the right way last time but we've had some time and…"
"No." I said.
"Doll…" Bucky started.
"No. Guys it's been less than two months since the last time you proposed and nothing has changed for me and this isn't going to change. I don't want to get married." I said.
"Nora come on." Steve said.
"No Steve. Why on earth would you think this is a good idea? Bucky I thought you said you weren't ready?" I said.
"I wasn't but honestly I don't think I'll ever really be ready. I didn't think I was ready to be a parent and I've been doing that and I'm not perfect but I think I'm doing okay." He said. "I figured it out and we can figure this out as we go."
"See Bucky's on board." Steve said.
"Well I'm not." I said. "I don't want to get married."
"Nora we're practically already married. We do all the things married people do why not make it official?" Bucky said.
"Bucky no part of this will ever be official. A marriage between three people isn't legally recognized. We're a family without the piece of paper, let's just keep doing this." I said.
"No." Steve said.
"Steve." Bucky started.
"No. We have done everything you wanted but what about what we want?" Steve said.
"You want a family. We're a family." I said.
"It's not enough." Steve said.
"Steve." Bucky said.
"No. This is what we want. We have waited more than seventy years to be together and this is our chance." Steve said. "We deserve to finally have our moment. This is the next step and it's what we want."
"But it's not what I want." I said. "I like things the way they are."
"That's not enough." Steve said.
"I'm not getting married." I said.
"Then there's nothing left for us." Steve started.
"Steve don't…" Bucky started.
"You're really going to give me an ultimatum?" I said.
"We did everything you asked." Steve said.
"Because I wasn't the one that screwed up repeatedly." I said and as soon as I saw the hurt look on Steve's face I wanted to take it back. Unfortunately the two of us were hot headed idiots that had a tendency to open our mouths when we were hurt and say the first thing that popped in our heads.
"And that right there is the problem. You never really gave us a chance. We never really started over did we?" Steve said.
"Says the guy that wants to have a kid to replace the one he lost." I said.
"I can't do this again Nora. I'm trying, I really am but if you say no right now then we're done." Steve said.
"No." Bucky started. "Doll wait…"
"Then I guess we're done." I said throwing my napkin on the table and getting up. "Thanks for dinner. Hope you two are happy."
"Nora don't go…" Bucky started.
"No. Just let me go." I said before teleporting back to the house. It was still an early night and if the kids went to bed early then maybe we could have some special brownies to forget this trainwreck of a night.
Of course I got to the house and instead of seeing my two brothers I saw my two dads.
"Dads?" I asked confused. "What are you two doing here?"
"Hey kiddo." Dad started." I uh… we were on our way to the event but I want to stop by and wish you a happy Valentine's day."
I looked and saw a flower arrangement with peonies and hydrangeas and a huge box of chocolates from Switzerland.
"Aiden and Sam looked a bit bummed out and your dad thought they needed the open bar more than we did so we stayed with the kids." Rhodey said.
"You did?" I asked genuinely surprised at how… considerate that was.
"Sam works a lot and Aiden… he's around." Dad said. "Don't really know the guy but he seems like a good wingman."
"He is." I said just letting myself fall into the arm chair wishing my wingmen were still here.
"I'm going to check on the kids. Make sure Connor actually went to bed instead of reading under the covers." Rhodey said while he and dad had a silent conversation where he basically told dad to fix me.
It was quiet for a few minutes. I was still processing the fact that I got ultimatum dumped on Valentine's Day.
"So uh… you're back early." Dad said.
"Something came up." I said.
"Oh." Dad said. "That's a shame. You look great."
"I know." I said.
"You wanna go somewhere?" He said. "I mean you're all dressed up and so am I. It'd be a shame if no one got a picture of us."
"You want to go out? Right now?" I said.
"Yeah. I kind of skipped dinner. Want to go for a burger?" Dad asked.
"With fries?" I asked. "And a chocolate shake?"
"Whatever you want kiddo." He said standing up and helping me up just as Rhodey came back down. "We're going to go out for a bit."
"So it'll just be me with the three of…" Rhodey asked feeling caught off guard.
"Are they asleep?" I asked.
"Well yeah but…" He started.
"They'll be out till morning. Thanks dad." I said before we headed out.
That is how on Valentine's Day I ended up grabbing a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake from shake shack with my dad.
"This is much better than hors d'oeuvre." He said.
"There is nothing fries and a good shake can't fix." I said.
"What do you need fixing?" Dad asked.
"It's…nothing." I said.
"Don't do that. Come on. I'm not butting in or fixing anything I'm just here to listen." He said.
I gave him a look not entirely convinced.
"Come on Nora. If you're not going to talk to me talk to the burger." He said.
"Okay." I said. "So Steve and Bucky proposed on Christmas and I turned them down because I don't want to get married or have more kids which apparently is a big deal to Steve and Bucky. I turned them down and you know in the two months since I thought we had moved past that and agreed that things were good as they were."
"And they were from what I saw at Wren's birthday." Dad said.
"Exactly." I said "They thought I was coming around and proposed again tonight."
"And you said…." He asked.
"No." I said.
"Well it's been less than two months. What did they expect?" Dad said.
"Exactly." I said. "I mean we were doing so good. We hit our stride and as parents… we were great but apparently that's not enough for Steve. Apparently since they agreed to do everything I asked for I owe them a big white wedding and half a soccer team of kids."
"Oh." Dad said.
"Yeah. And I have not changed my mind about it. I love them but I don't want to get married and I have great kids. I don't need more. This baby factory is closed." I said.
"Okay please don't call yourself a baby factory. You're a genius woman with more to offer the world than just a womb." He said.
"Thank you." I said.
"But I have to say I'm surprised you don't want more kids. I mean you're great with Wren, Connor and Ellie. I mean you're Connor's favorite superhero and not because of your powers." He said.
"I love that kid. I love all three of them but I kind of have my hands full. Not to mention a teleporting toddler, I practically sleep with one eye open." I said.
"So how'd you leave things with Capsicle and Terminator." He said.
"Steve basically said I either agree to marry him or we were done. And I said I guess we're done and went home." I said. "I got ultimatum dumped on Valentine's Day."
"Well as someone who got dumped while he was trying to propose I can tell you they're not feeling so great either." He said.
"Good." I said.
"You don't mean that." Dad said.
"Of course I don't." I said. "I love them and I thought we were past the bullshit. We were good and they just couldn't leave it alone."
"They love you Nora. You really think they were going to be okay playing house instead of actually having a house with you?" He said.
"They did have the house and the kid and me. I just don't want to wear a ring or pop out more kids." I said. "And I wasn't being unreasonable."
"Well it depends why don't you want to marry them?" he said. "Why don't you want to get married?"
"I did the married thing once." I said. "That was enough."
"You married a guy you barely knew to avoid going to jail." He pointed out.
"I married my best friend who I fell in love with and just as we had finally realized it was mutual a brain tumor killed him." I said. "It took us more than seventy years to find each other again. I thought that was the hard part but no apparently staying together is."
Dad was about to say something before my phone buzzed.
"Uh it's Sam and Aiden wondering if I can pick them up from the fundraiser." I said.
"We're not that far." Dad said before asking his driver to swing by for them. As soon as they were in the car.
"Fries!" Aiden said taking my fries and digging in. "Oh I fucking love you."
"Mhmm…" Sam said digging into my half eaten burger.
"Tiny plates?" Dad asked amused.
"So tiny. And I have the munchies but don't tell Tony. I don't want to get in trouble with my boss." Sam whispered making Dad laugh.
"Oh don't worry Cheech, he won't hear it from me." Dad said. "You guys want to stop by a bodega or something for snacks?"
"Yes." Aiden said nodding. "I want crisps. Not chips crisps."
"Okay we'll get you all the chips you want." I said.
"No crisps." Aiden said.
"I know but we call them…" I said.
"Crisps. That is what they're called that is their right name. Crisps." Aiden said.
"Oh boy." I said. "You always get extra British when you mix pot with booze on an empty stomach."
"Some scones and biscuits would be good too." Aiden said just further proving my point. After a few stops for snacks we finally got them back to Sam's house. I made sure they were both tucked in and that they had water and aspirin on their night stands for when they woke up.
"Nora why are you here? I thought you were going to bon chiki wah wah…" Sam said making dad laugh.
"Did they propose again?" Aiden said. "It's been two months."
"Still too soon." I said.
"Kiddo I hate to say it but it's pretty obvious why you don't want to marry them." Dad said. "You're not over Wren."
"No duh." Sam said.
"Obviously." Aiden said.
"Dad it's not like that." I said.
"It's exactly like that." Sam said with a mouthful of burger.
"It's been two years. It's time to move on." Dad said.
"No." Sam said.
"It's not…" I said.
"I mean you're already under them… or between them… or on top…" Aiden said listing off different positions.
"You guys don't get it." Sam said.
"Sam maybe you should…." I started.
"No I got this." Sam said clearing his throat. "You guys keep saying we need to get over Jess and Wren but it's not that easy. Getting over someone implies that there was a break up, that there was this huge blow up fight where one of you said things you couldn't take back or did something unforgiveable. Where someone did something that made the love just go away. That didn't happen for us. We were married to someone we actually saw ourselves spending the rest of our lives together. Who loved us at our fucking best and worst. Who stuck with us in the good times and the bad… and when we were at our absolute happiest they were just gone. They didn't want to go, they didn't have a choice they just died. Out of the blue and we were left to pick up the pieces to keep going. And we're stuck here loving someone that we can't be with and that fucking sucks so hard."
"Actually that does describe what being a widow is like." I said. "And it really does suck so fucking hard."
"I miss Jess." Sam said getting sad.
"I was a widow too." Dad said.
"You knocked up mom in a burger king parking lot a few hours after you met her and had a shot gun wedding." I said. "You loved her but you weren't in love with her. Not the same thing."
"Yeah…" Dad said admitting it. "But it still sucked."
"You were back to partying and sleeping your way through the playboy mansion in less than two months." I said.
"I actually started before…" Dad said. "During the pregnancy. I was 21 and not ready to be a dad and freaking out a bit."
"Ooof." Sam said.
"This is awkward." Aiden said.
"Point is. It's complicated. Obviously I still love Wren and will probably always love him but I also love Steve and Bucky I just don't want to marry them or have more kids." I said. "Is that really such a deal breaker?"
"No but I know what is." Aiden teased before I stuffed a cookie in his mouth. "Mhmmm."
"But you want everything else?" Dad asked.
"Yup." I said.
"Have you told them that?" He asked.
"I did. It wasn't enough." I said.
Back at the Compound…
As everyone finally made it back from their respective Valentine's dates they were greeted by shouting.
"What the hell was that!" Bucky shouted.
"She doesn't want us!" Steve said.
"No she doesn't want to marry us!" Bucky said.
"Is there a difference?" Steve shouted.
"Yes. We talked about this. You said we weren't going to pressure her and you give her a fucking ultimatum?!" Bucky said.
"She said no! Again!" Steve said. "And you're blaming me?"
"There's no one to blame here but yeah you did screw up!" Bucky said. "She either says yes or we're done? I don't want that! I don't want to be over. I just want her with or without a ring or more kids!"
"You're on her side? She lied to us! She said we started over but she's been holding the past over our heads…" Steve said.
"No she's been holding it over you and I don't fucking blame her because I'm pissed too!" Bucky said. "You lied to me, you didn't tell me how things really happened between the two of you. And out of all the people you could have screwed it had to be Peggy's niece?"
"You're jealous of Peggy now?" Steve said.
"No I'm pissed at you for doing the same thing all over again you hard headed punk!" Bucky said. "We agreed we'd ask but the second things don't go your way you try to force her into it? That's not the relationship I want Steve."
"You want to marry her too." Steve said.
"Not against her will! I'm happy just being together. If she wants to marry us, sure that's great but if she doesn't but then I'm fine just having her and my kid." Bucky said.
"I'm happy too but is it really so wrong of me to want more?" he said.
"Just because you want more doesn't mean you need more. I don't want more kids but I do need Nora and Wren." He said. "You both said some horrible things to each other but the way you went about asking her to marry us and then just giving her an ultimatum deciding not just for you but for me too was not okay."
"I just wanted her to listen." Steve said.
"Well nice job because maybe you weren't going to have a wife or more kids but we still had a soulmate and son and now we don't have either." Bucky said before storming off.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Anywhere but here." Bucky said storming out completely ignoring everyone in the common room.
"Guessing things did not go so great with the three musketeers." Clint said.
"No shit." Natasha said.
"That is really not good." Wanda said.
"Not good at all." Seconded Vision.
Back with Nora…
Dad and I managed to get Sam and Aiden settled at the house. The kids were still out and Rhodey decided to fly back to the compound as soon as we got back in fear of being out numbered three to one by the kids again.
"Those two could give Cheech and Chong a run for their money." Dad said.
"They have to unwind somehow and as long as no one gets hurt what's the harm in it." I said.
"What Sam said…." He started.
"Don't worry about it." I said.
"Is it really like that?" he said.
"Yeah. We had our problems but it didn't break us, it brought us closer together." I said. "I don't really know what's going to happen between Steve and Bucky and I but I'll be fine. I lived without them before I can do it again."
"They made the mistake of not fighting for you once, they're a lot of things but stupid enough to do that again isn't one of them." Dad said.
"Maybe." I said. "This was actually really nice. You know all things considered."
"Well I have to start making up for lost time." He said.
"I'm free tomorrow. I was thinking of just taking Wren out to the Hamptons get away from it all for a bit. Could be fun." I offered.
"At what time are we leaving?" He said.
"I'll pick you up early morning. We can stop by and have breakfast somewhere." I said.
"Looking forward to it." He said hugging me. I returned the hug before he left for the night. I made sure the doors were locked before checking to make sure everyone was okay before calling it a night on the couch.
Days Later…
Aiden had been given an assignment to follow up on some leads in South Africa. I had dropped him off and hadn't heard from him other than a few texts letting us know he was still alive.
I hadn't heard from Steve or Bucky. All things considered I think that for at least now that was probably a good thing. I wanted to be together but maybe this would be easier. If I was going to die then if they hated me a bit then maybe it'd be easier.
"You are such an idiot." Aya said showing up.
"Oh fuck…" I said jumping a bit in surprise.
"After everything, and I mean more than 70 years of whining that's it?" She said.
"Aya what are you even talking about?" I said.
"Steve and Bucky. You're giving up on them?" Aya said.
"I'm not giving up on them. One way or another no matter how hard we fight to get back to each other it just never works out." I said
"You had a fight. Get off your ass and go work it out with them." Aya said.
"He gave me an ultimatum Aya." I said.
"And you blasted him through a wall." She said. "You've all done stupid impulsive things but that doesn't mean you don't all love each other."
"Maybe it's not enough." I said.
"You don't really believe that." She said.
"I want to say I don't but life just keeps proving me wrong." I said.
"Life isn't easy neither is love but that doesn't mean you give up when things get hard. You fought nazis, terrorists, aliens, you even stood your ground against me. Two idiots that love you more than anything in the world are not scarier or tougher than that so end the pity party, put on some pants and go fix your love life." Aya said throwing me a pair of jeans.
"What am I supposed to say to them?" I said. "I can't really tell them the truth."
"You don't have to tell them the whole truth just the part the part that won't screw up the time line or the part where you occasionally go spend time with your dead husband in the past." Aya said.
"You want me to lie?" I said.
"I want you to put on pants and stop moping around." Aya said.
"Fine." I said getting out of bed and putting on the jeans she had thrown at me. "There happy?"
And at that moment the doorbell rang.
"Boss Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers are at the door should I let them in?" Friday asked.
"You…" I started glaring at Aya.
"Fix it Nora." She said before disappearing.
"Shit." I said before I saw Wren walk past my door. "Wren!"
I quickly picked him up before teleporting downstairs to the door.
"Hey." I said looking at them. Bucky looking tired and Steve like he had been dragged here against his will.
"Hey." Bucky said. "Can we talk?"
"Uh sure." I said letting them in.
"Bu!" Wren cheered immediately launching himself a Bucky.
"Oh!" I said catching him. Bucky immediately moved to catch him but froze when he saw my reaction. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not." He said taking Wren. "Hey buddy."
"Bu…" Wren started immediately chatting away while I went to get make coffee and Wren's breakfast.
Once everyone had their coffee and Wren had enough fruit to count as a healthy enough breakfast We moved to the living room where Wren was put in his play pen and the three of us could sit and talk. Except no one was talking.
'Say something.' Aya said.
"Like what?" I said.
'Anything.' Aya said.
"Steve gave me the ultimatum what else can I say?" I thought back.
"They're here now so obviously you're not done." She said.
'I'm not having a screaming match in front of my son.' I said.
"Stop being stubborn." Aya said.
"I'm not." I said.
"Talk!" She shouted making me cringe.
"Ah…" I groaned.
"You okay?" Bucky asked.
"Yeah Aya was being… Aya." I said. "So did you guys need to pick up your things or… Ow!"
Aya let out a high pitched sound that gave me the worst headache.
"We're not here for that but if you want us to go…" Steve said looking for an easy out.
"We're here to talk." Bucky said glaring at Steve. "Things weren't supposed to go the way they did."
"We… I shouldn't have said what I did." Steve said and Bucky kicked his foot signaling him to keep going. "When you said no… again… even after we did everything you asked, without considering what we wanted,…"
"Steve." Bucky growled.
"Even after you rubbed my face in all the things I've done wrong even after…" Steve started getting louder.
"Steve." Bucky said raising his voice and Wren looked at us with watery eyes and started raising his voice.
I raised my hands and used my powers to force their mouths shut and force them into siting back down.
"Not another word." I said softly and gently staying as calm and making my voice sound as happy as I possibly could. "I need you to look to my right. You see that beautiful baby boy looking at us scared and confused and on the verge of tears? He doesn't know what's happening but he can see that we are not okay and that scares him. Because it is our job to take care and protect him from all the stuff that can hurt him physically and emotionally. So you know what we are going to do? We are not going to raise our voices. We are not going to scream at each other. We're are not going to be those parents because even if we don't agree on everything, we do agree that he will always come first. When I let you go we're not going to yell or raise our voices. We are going to talk and speak to each other as three people who love each other enough to treat and speak to one another with respect and if you can't do that I will blast you both the fuck out of here and you will never set foot in this house again. Nod If you agree?"
Bucky and Steve slowly nodded with that I let them go and they took a shaky breath.
"I'm going to start by saying that I said some things I shouldn't have. I was wrong to bring up your past mistakes because they are in the past and we have all made mistakes, myself included. I have forgiven you. I meant it when I said we were starting over and it was a low blow to bring it up again so for that I am sorry." I said.
Steve stayed quiet so Bucky went next.
"When we proposed the first time we thought you were going to say yes because things were going so well. It was almost like we were back in London during the war and we were happy but when you said no it threw us. We thought with time you would change your mind." Bucky said. "When Steve and I decided to purpose again I thought we agreed that no matter what you decided it wouldn't change anything. What mattered to me was the four of us staying together because I love our family and a ring wouldn't change anything. Nothing could. The ultimatum shouldn't have happened because that is not how I feel."
"I was hurt when you said no the first time and again when you said no the second time. I thought we were past all of it. It was almost as if the past 70 years hadn't happened and we were just us." Steve said. "It doesn't make sense that you don't want the same things anymore. The dream we always shared. The three of us married with kids in a house on a farm somewhere. I thought we were happy and you just… You just said no."
"I didn't say no to wanting those things just not the way you imagined them." I said.
"But its us. Together the way it was always supposed to be." Steve said.
"Maybe that's not the way it's supposed to be." I said. "We can be together it just looks different."
"But why? Why does it have to be different when we can have that." He said. "I keep thinking about it over and over again and I just. It doesn't make sense to me. Just tell me why Nora."
And that was when it really hit me that I couldn't live this life. I couldn't live in this bubble of denial, not with the three of us in it. It wasn't fair to them. I love them and I may have to carry the weight of this secret but they didn't have to and they didn't deserve to have me drag them down with me.
"When I got my marks and I met Peggy for the first time she told me that she had never seen two people more in love and more devoted to each other than the two of you." I said. "I couldn't imagine loving someone like that. I honestly thought she was exaggerating a bit but she wasn't. I saw it the first time I saw you two together in Azzano and even when it was the three of us together I could still see it. The three of us are soulmates but the two of you came first."
"Nora that's not…" Bucky started.
"I know you both love me, I have never doubted that even at our lowest points together I knew it but I always felt like the odd one out. I've never actually said that out loud before. It doesn't make sense but I just do sometimes. And when I thought you guys were gone the pain I felt hurt so much I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die. I didn't, Aya kept me going even when I didn't want to." I said. "Then came Wren. He was a surprise and I didn't even realize I was falling for him until I did. I didn't think I could love anyone as much as I love you two but I did. We got married and he died and that did kill me. It hurt more than when I lost you two. Because you two came before the three of us."
"If someone was pointing a gun at me and at you Buck, Steve would choose you without having to think about it and you would choose Steve over me and that's okay because I can take a bullet. I'd die and I'd come back but you two wouldn't." I explained. "Wren would have taken the bullet even knowing I'd come back. You two had each other before me, you were each other's first and still are. But Wren was just mine. I was his first priority even knowing about you two, even without having my mark, he loved me with everything he had not in spite of the mess I was and still am and the insanity that comes with me but with all of it. He was my husband and the love of my life just like you two are each others. He was my husband and I want him to be the only person I get to call my husband just like the two of you are the only people I can call my soulmates because I was in love with him. I still love him and I probably always will."
"He's dead and we're still here." Steve said tearing up.
"Yeah and he went against the laws of time and death to save me." I said. "A love like that isn't something that goes away."
"That's…" Bucky still not knowing what to say as he wiped the tears off his face. "I thought we were a family."
"We are." I said.
"How can we be a family?" Steve said. "Are you just settling for us?"
"No. I love you both. I have never stopped loving you. I just happen to also love him." I said.
"That doesn't make any sense." He said.
"You have our marks, he got to give you a ring." Bucky said explaining it in the simplest terms possible.
"Pretty much." I said.
"He got to give you a ring and have a son with you and we get to play house." Steve said. "In the house he picked out. With his son."
"Dada" Wren said reaching up asking for Steve to pick him up and Steve froze.
"Did he just…" Bucky whispered.
"Dada!" Wren said smiling but Steve couldn't move. He just stared at Wren looking conflicted and a bit hurt.
"He bought me a house so that I'd stop hiding and I could be a Stark. And yeah he's the biological father but he was also man enough to put his feelings aside and respected you two enough to say that if he couldn't be there for his son he was glad you two would be because while not perfect you were good men who he trusted would raise his son to be a good man." I said just as Wren teleported out of his play area and appeared next to Buck pulling on his pants to climb onto his lap.
"Pa! Papa!" Wren exclaimed trying to get Bucky's attention. Bucky picked up Wren who slapped a hand on his cheek and stopped looking confused when he felt his hand get wet.
"Blood doesn't make a parent. Love does." I said.
"I want to hate him." Steve said.
"What the hell…" Bucky started.
"Wren not baby Wren, but Wren. I screwed up and I was with Sharon because I was alone without you two but I never loved her but you loved him. You really loved him and you still love him. And I can't be angry at him because he died. I can't hate him for loving you because I love you. And I really can't hate him because without him we wouldn't have Wren." Steve said. "I'm frustrated, angry, disappointed and I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do Nora?"
"Maybe we should take a break." Bucky said.
"Go for a walk and get some air." Steve said.
"No I mean we should take a break, from each other." Bucky said.
"Bucky?" I said not expecting that answer.
"These past few days alone I've been doing some thinking and I actually talked in therapy." He said. "I had time to think about me and how I fit not just with the three of us but in the world and I don't know who I am outside of the three of us. I don't know who I am outside of a fight."
"You want to go again." I said understanding what he was trying to say.
"Bucky." Steve said. "After everything…"
"That's just it, after everything we have been through I have never had time to think about who I am now." Bucky said. "I was brainwashed and in and out of a freezer for 70 years. Then I left to try and remember who I was but I never figured out who I am now. I don't know where I fit in the world outside of the three of us. I need to figure that out and work on myself and maybe we should all work on ourselves."
"You're talking about breaking up." Steve said.
"A break isn't a break up." I said. "It's a pre break up."
"No it's hitting pause." Bucky said putting Wren down. "We pause and go do what we need to do for a while."
"How long is a while?" Steve said. "Another week? A month? Seventy years?"
"As long as it takes." Bucky said.
"Nora?" Steve asked.
"It's not the worst idea." I said.
"Do you even want us to be together?" Steve said.
"I do but I also want us to stop going in circles." I said. "We keep having the same conversations and having the same fight. Maybe we should take some time and sort ourselves out. Figure out if there is any way for us to move forward."
"And how do we do that? What are the rules now?" Steve said.
"I leave. Travel a bit." Bucky said. "Not forever just for a month or two… maybe more."
"But you check in, if not with the two of us with someone else." I asked and he nodded in agreement.
"No dating." Bucky said shooting a look at Steve.
"Or knocking anyone up." I seconded.
"Why are you two looking at me?" Steve said.
"No Sharon." We said at the same time.
"Or any relatives of our war friends." Bucky said. "Some things are not meant to be kept in the family."
"Should we talk, outside of emergencies?" I asked.
"We can't just ignore each other." Steve said.
"The whole point of this is to work on ourselves." Bucky said.
"No contact outside of the world ending. If we need to know how we're doing we ask our designated buddy. Mine's Aiden." I said.
"Of course he is." Steve said.
"Good choice. He'll give you a direct answer won't cave as easily as Sam would." Bucky said. "I'm guessing Sam is yours?"
"This is ridiculous." Steve said.
"So Natasha?" I said.
"Fine Sam." Steve said caving.
"No direct contact if we want to check in one another it's through our buddy. You are supposed to check in at least once a week. It doesn't have to be a lot just an I'm alive text at least." I told Bucky.
"How long?" Steve asked.
"Three months." Bucky said. "One month for each of us. When the three months are up we meet up again and talk see where we go from there."
"Three months." I said agreeing.
"Are you sure about this?" Steve said.
"We need this. Maybe you don't want to admit it but we do." Bucky said.
"Alright then." Steve said. "Three months."
Steve bent down and hugged Wren who happily hugged him back.
"Dada." He said again.
Steve held onto him for a minute before kissing the top of his head and letting him go.
"I'll be outside." He said leaving without another word.
Bucky was quiet for a minute before I got up and started taking things from the different hiding spots that were set up around the house. I even found a few new ones I was sure Aiden had set up without telling anyone.
I found a few of the blank passports and a few different bunches of money in different currencies as well as a couple of burner phones. I zipped them up in a backpack before going back to the living room where Bucky was playing blocks with Wren. Probably getting his goodbyes in.
"I packed you a few things you might need. Just in case. If you need anything else Aiden has a couple of safe houses and storage spaces set up in a few different countries. Give him a call and he'll get you what you need." I said.
"I was a ghost for 70 years." He said.
"I've met a few ghosts in my time." I said. "Better safe than sorry. When are you leaving?"
"Tonight or tomorrow morning. I just need to make sure Steve will be… okay." He said hesitating to say it.
"He does tend to get into himself into trouble when he's alone." I said.
"He's not the only one." Bucky said.
"I'm never really alone." I said making my eyes glow.
"Yeah." Bucky said smiling at Wren. "You know I love you right?"
"Love you too." I said.
Bucky didn't say anything just nodded and kissed my forehead before leaving.
"Sorry I couldn't fix things." I said knowing Aya was listening. A second later she was standing next to me.
"You were honest with them. That's the first step to fixing anything." She said. "You okay?"
"Not really, but I will be." I said. "I always am."
"You should answer your phone." Aya said and a few seconds later my phone started ringing.
I looked at her confused but did as she asked. To no surprise it was Montgomery asking if I would be willing to go back to work. They hadn't found a replacement for me and due to a stomach flu that was going around they were severely short staffed.
When life gives you a break in a relationship and a stomach flu epidemic, you go back to cutting people open. Turns out work was exactly what I needed.
They were more than happy to have me back. Especially Montgomery. As soon as he saw me he pulled me into a bear hug and said thank you over and over again. Apparently, the responsibility of running two ER's was a lot more than he was expecting. A lot more.
I stayed busy and before I knew it two months had passed and it was April.
Aiden had been gone for two months but had checked in with Bucky updates. I got a text telling me he was in town and needed some nephew time so he would be picking up Wren from daycare.
Must have been a rough few months.
Either way I got home a bit late due to a last minute trauma that came in. Aiden was in the living room watching the news with a drink in his hand.
"President Ellis is currently vetting Former US Army Three Star Lieutenant General Thaddeus Ross to fill the vacant position of secretary of state in his cabinet." Christine Everhart said.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I said staring at the screen.
"Nora?" Aiden said.
"That dick is going to be Secretary of State?" I said.
"You know him?" Aiden said.
"Yeah, he's the dick that tried to blackmail Wren into joining his super secret covert team in Afghanistan. I had to blackmail him back to get Wren out." I said.
"Oh shit." Aiden said.
"Yeah trust me the shit I used to get him to forcibly retire is probably the tip of the iceberg." I said. "Pretty sure Bruce had his own stash too."
"Well if I were you I'd keep those files on hand. The future Secretary probably knows how to hold a grudge." Aiden said. "Left you a plate in the oven if you're hungry."
"You're the best." I said going to heat it up. "have you heard anything from…"
"He's fine Nora." Aiden said. "I made sure he had everything and he hasn't missed a check in."
"Good." I said as Aiden came into the kitchen taking a seat at the counter.
"Rogers is also okay. He's a pain in the arse to work with lately but he's good." He said.
"I was going to ask why you're back all of a sudden. Last time we talked you sounded a bit tied up." I said.
"Oh I was. North Africa was not as welcoming as I remembered." He said. "Rogers is obsessing over finding that Rumlow guy. I got him a lead and I headed back for a break. I missed my memory foam mattress. So how much longer is this break going to go on for?"
"If you're about to say something about Steve needing to get laid…" I started.
"He does, desperately." Aiden said.
"We agreed to start with three months and see from there. Considering Bucky seems pretty happy we might go on for longer." I said.
"And you're okay with that?" Aiden said. "Really?"
"I miss them but I don't miss the arguing. I was honest with them and I know for a fact I don't want more kids or to get married. I'm not changing my mind about that and that's not enough for them." I said. "We're all stubborn and weren't going to budge so this was the best option."
"If you're not going to change your minds then why not just call this what it really is, a break up?" Aiden said.
"Because maybe its not. Maybe we'll figure it out, or maybe there's going to be another global catastrophe that'll distract us from our real problems." I said. "We're good in a crisis."
"That you are." He said. "The team is heading out to Lagos tomorrow."
"Are you going with them?" I asked.
"No. You know I don't do teams." Aiden said. "I'll be around for a few weeks. Spend time with the kids maybe convince Sam to go do something."
"Did you look into that thing I asked for?" I said.
"Yeah." Aiden said taking out a set of keys from his pocket. "Not sure why you wanted me to set it up but its done."
"You never know." I said closing Aiden's hand and not taking the keys. "Hold onto those for me."
"Something I should know?" he asked.
"You'll know when I know." I said.
I didn't exactly know what was going on but I could tell that things were in motion. Aya was more ominous than ever. She hadn't been sending me back as much as she used to.
I had visited Peter and the rest of the Guardians a few times. Most of the time it was spent helping Peter get up to date with pop culture. He wasn't really interested in anything else from Earth. I offered to look into his grandparents but he insisted that his life wasn't on Earth anymore and he didn't want to know.
I had a few days off from work since I had been working non stop. We were going to take the kids out to the beach house one morning.
We were packing up the last minute things before we headed out.
Connor was running around looking for his beach shoes. Wren and Ellie were running around the house with Sam chasing after Ellie who didn't want to put on her shoes. Aiden was packing up snacks because each kid wanted something different and I was unpacking and repacking everything because I could have sworn, I saw the shoes Connor was looking for in one of the bags.
"Connor did you find them?" I called out.
"No." He shouted back.
"I swear we need to seriously consider gluing his shoes onto his feet." Aiden said.
"Not a good idea, he out grows them too fast." Sam said walking in just as I started feeling the chills.
"Ah shit…" I said as my eyes started glowing and I quickly grabbed my jacket. The very same one my niece made for me in the future.
"Oh bloody hell." Aiden said.
"I'll be back when I can." I said as the chills got stronger and I started glowing brighter and brighter before I was gone.