Author's Note:

I hope you're all ready for it to get awkward and petty :D

Chapter II – A Chance Encounter

Aeyrin entered the Honningbrew Meadery tentatively.

She was there a week ago; only to be told by the proprietor that neither Raven nor Karliah were in. They were likely busy on another mission. Or they were coordinating their efforts from another hideout.

With not much else to do, she wandered around the Whiterun Hold wilderness for the whole week, exploring some caverns around. She avoided the ancient barrows pointedly. She wasn't sure how she could deal with them without someone watching her back. What if she encountered another Wall? She'd be attacked in her helpless state without a doubt.

After the exhausting week, she returned to the meadery, eager to have a place to stay inside. How did the cold not get any better now that summer was steadily approaching? Maybe it was the fact that she had to camp outside alone, but she didn't want to think about that too much.

Hopefully Raven would let her sleep over at the meadery again. He did the last time. Karliah wasn't there and there were two beds available in their attic rooms, but if she was present this time, there might not be any space for her to crash.

She really didn't want to go back outside and it wasn't like she had anywhere to stay in Whiterun. She still avoided both Lydia and the Companions. Which made the Mare unavailable too, since Lydia was so often there to see Saadia.

"Is he here?" she asked Sabjorn, skipping the greeting altogether.

The man only nodded at her before he inclined his head towards the back rooms.

She walked through the large storage room without further prompting, up the stairs into Raven and Karliah's chambers.

Raven was sitting at the large desk, deep in thought. As usual, he was surrounded by notes, parchments and elaborate plans. Nothing had changed – the entire operation was in full swing as usual. She was curious whether they had made any progress. The sooner the threat of that bounty would stop looming over her head, the better. Not to mention, it seemed like the Guild would really be a lot less menacing for everyone with different leadership.

"Raven," Aeyrin called out to him, tearing him away from his ruminations.

Raven jerked his head up from the papers as a smile spread on his face at the sound of her voice. He rose from his chair before he took hold of the one next to it and pulled it away from the table, motioning for her to sit.

He was even more courteous and considerate than before during their meetings, always keeping that smile on his face. At times, she worried that he'd only been like that after what she went through, out of pity. The thought only reminded her of the things that she hoped to keep buried at the back of her mind. The special treatment only made her feel worse.

"Hold on, I'm gonna get rid of the armor first." She smiled weakly while she walked towards the large bed in the room and slumped her pack down on it. She started to undo the buckles of her gold-bronze armor while Raven remained silent, watching her. It was a little awkward, whenever she was too busy to see his little notes, forcing the silence to loom over them.

After a while of what she felt like was a bit of an uncomfortable moment, Raven stepped away from the table and began rummaging around a crate in the corner of the room. He pulled out a bottle of Honningbrew mead and started pouring it into a tankard while she worked herself out of her underchain.

Aeyrin took a seat on the large bed and pulled out her new leather boots to replace her armored ones. The simple clothes she had on fit her badly, unsurprisingly. It wasn't as if she could even get to Windhelm, let alone gain access to Niranye's stock. And the only other place she'd seen clothes her size was Solitude. She wasn't going to go back there either. She suspected that there might be some similar shops in Markarth, or even Riften, but… again… she couldn't go there either. So she had to settle for unpleasantly tight and small clothing made for young Nords that were far from done growing. It was easier to get her armor on those than on some excessively large and baggy ones.

Raven waited for her patiently. He didn't even use the time to scribble anything or to go over his plans, like he did before she had announced herself. He only watched her with a wry smile while he put the tankard on the table.

After a while, when her eyes met his, he opened his mouth and gestured towards it with his index finger. It took her an embarrassing amount of time to decipher it. For some reason, she couldn't shake the thought that he was gesturing towards his missing tongue for some reason. But of course he wasn't. What would that even mean?

"Oh… ah… no thanks. I ate earlier. Maybe later," she shrugged as blush spread over her cheeks. She really hoped that it wasn't obvious what she was thinking in her confusion. She brushed her hair off her face, nudging it behind her ear before she hurriedly raked her fingers through it again, letting it cover almost half her face and fluffing it a little.

When she was finally done, she approached the table again. Raven propped the chair for her once more before she sat down and he situated himself beside her.

Raven started to shuffle papers around to pull out several maps. The topography was barely visible under all the notes and markers. Before he started to explain them, however, he raised his head to peer at her with a questioning look on his face.

"It went alright. I managed to catch up with the third caravan on Tirdas. I followed it all the way from the Rift border to Rorikstead. It got attacked there and the guards were killed. But I managed to save the merchant… with some help. He mentioned that his employer would be grateful," Aeyrin gave Raven a small smile, but her attention was fixed on the maps on the table. There were so many caravan routes there. She kind of hoped that this would be enough. She was lucky that Erik had appeared, but everything just seemed to get harder – the battles, the absorption… and everything else, it seemed. She needed to get out of this state and she wasn't sure if these missions were helping or hindering her. The knowledge of the ordeal ahead was definitely not helping. But at least she had something to do, some orders to follow without having to think about the next course of action herself. Without having to reflect on her circumstances.

Raven nodded as he shot her a pleased smile.

"Do you think it's enough?" she hesitated when she asked. Perhaps he'd have a different mission for her then. One that didn't involve any dragons. Although… she wasn't exactly skilled at the kind of work that he usually needed done.

Raven scowled for a second before shaking his head regretfully.

Well… so much for that.

.

Do you need to stop?

.

The ruffle of paper interrupted her ruminations when Raven presented her with the hastily scribbled note.

It wasn't as if she couldn't just encounter the beasts on the roads nonetheless. And it didn't look like he had anything else for her to do.

With a deep sigh, she shook her head. "It's alright, Raven. I don't need to stop. Not like I have anywhere else to be…" she mumbled the last part, mostly to herself, but it still elicited a sympathetic look from Raven.

Why did that look make her so angry?

Raven started to shuffle with the maps once more, placing one of them on the forefront and tracing his finger over one of the lines to make sure that Aeyrin followed his finger with her eyes. Another caravan route. Again she would spend her days tracking merchants from a distance and waiting for any random dragon to target them. She knew that Maven's support was important to the operation; she just wished that they had come up with a different plan.

Well, it was not as if she had any better ideas.

Suddenly, a clattering noise coming from downstairs interrupted them before they had even properly started to plan.

Aeyrin gave Raven a questioning look, but she figured that it was just Sabjorn down there.

Much to her surprise though, Raven's brows shot up before they furrowed right after. He grabbed his quill instantly and began scribbling something down on a small piece of paper.

.

I'm so sorry.

.

What? What was he sorry about? The noise was certainly not that disturbing.

Before she could ponder any further on this, the door suddenly swung open. Odd… she didn't even hear any steps.

"For fuck's sake, Raven, are you trying to piss me off, leaving your crap under the window?" an overly familiar voice rang through the room, leaving Aeyrin frozen in shock. "I almost… oh…" Bishop stopped himself mid-sentence when he finally noticed her sitting by the table. He remained standing stiffly in the doorway with his black hood drawn low over his face, but even with it covering his expression, he left no one guessing about the shock undoubtedly etched on it.

Aeyrin knew that it was only a matter of time before they ran into each other, especially with both of them working with the same people. That, however, didn't make her feel any more prepared for that moment. She didn't really know what to do with herself. She briefly thought back on the noise and on Bishop's words. Did Raven leave something in his way specifically to alert them if he came here? He must have been expecting him for some time. It was now very clear what he was apologizing for.

"Hi," she gave Bishop a little awkward wave, uncertain what else to do to break the uncomfortable silence.

Still it dragged on. It seemed like it took forever before he answered at last.

"Hey," Bishop's greeting carried no less tension. He seemed to be looking around the room for a while, anywhere but directly at her, before he spoke again: "Karliah's not here?"

Raven shook his head quickly while he took hold of his quill again to scribble down a message.

.

She should be back today.

.

Did Raven know that Bishop was coming to meet Karliah? Why didn't he tell Aeyrin sooner?

Maybe he was preparing to tell her. And if she were to be honest with herself, the tiptoeing around the subject, anytime they discussed missions that Bishop was part of, always made her even more uncomfortable about everything. It would have probably been better if everyone just acted like they did before.

Bishop still stood in the doorframe while he did not even remove his hood. He looked like he was contemplating leaving. Or maybe he was trying to think of a reason to stay now.

Ugh, this was excruciating! She had to do something to end this weirdness. And… she couldn't pretend like she wasn't a little glad to see him, uncomfortable as it was. She… missed him.

"Are you gonna wait here for her?" Aeyrin asked after a while, making sure that she didn't sound in any way unhappy about that.

Raven raised his brows in surprise and he gave her a questioning look. Gods, he was making it so much worse! She was trying to move past the awkwardness! Having Bishop leave would hardly help in the long run.

"Alright," Bishop nodded at last before he yanked down his hood and headed towards the table. Was it just her imagination, or did he look a bit more… haggard than he used to? His hair was kind of messy and he looked very tired. His stubble was longer and very unkempt.

Maybe he was just tired from the road. But he looked like he didn't get a proper rest in ages. Neither did she, for that matter. Was it wishful thinking on her part that he'd be in a similar state as her? Why? It wasn't as if she wished him ill.

Perhaps misery really did love company.

Bishop sat down by the table while throwing his pack on the ground haphazardly. Aeyrin was obviously trying not to look at him - her eyes continued scrutinizing the table with awkward fidgets. With a nervous motion, she started to push a few locks of her hair behind her ear, but stopped herself abruptly and her hand fell down into her lap right away. Fuck, this was weird. He knew that it would be weird. It wasn't as if he expected her to throw herself around his neck when they finally ran into each other, but he still at least hoped for something more than this. Especially after her letter.

But then again, maybe he was reading too much into those words. Wishful thinking probably.

"Get me a bottle, Raven," Bishop broke the silence again. He couldn't really hide the morose tone from his voice, but he tried to preserve at least some semblance of normalcy as he threw Raven an expectant look.

Raven's glare was rather piercing, but he stood up and headed towards the crate at the back of the room nonetheless.

Bishop pondered on what to say, but he came up empty. He knew what he wanted to say – practically anything to get her back. The question of what exactly it was, however, proved much more difficult to answer. Maybe it would be best to let the moments pass for a while. He could at least do something else than sit there with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Raven placed the bottle of Honningbrew and a tankard on the table in front of Bishop and just as he sat back down, Bishop asked again: "Can you get me those… phase files or whatever? You know, that shit Karliah has me go through."

Raven scowled at him fiercely yet again and, instead of standing back up, he began scribbling something down a second later.

.

They're somewhere in the vat room.

.

"Well it's a good thing no one's cut off your legs yet, right?" Bishop sneered at him in response. It was rather convenient too. Maybe the air would get a bit more breathable without Raven around. Hopefully he would take a long time looking for those papers.

Raven looked like he wanted to lunge at him for that comment. He didn't even move from his seat, he only took a deep breath, as if he tried calming himself down. He's been so much more insufferable ever since Falkreath. It was grating on Bishop's nerves, especially now.

Raven turned his eyes to Aeyrin, giving her a both questioning and concerned look. What the fuck?! Did he think that the two of them couldn't be left alone or something?

"I… uh… y-you can go… I have time…" Aeyrin stammered at him in surprise. She looked just as taken aback by that reaction as Bishop was. Good. He worried a bit that she had been talking to Raven about him… that she might have told him that she didn't want to see him, or something. That would explain Raven's exaggeratedly considerate behavior to some extent.

Raven looked none too pleased with that answer and he got up from his chair again with a very audible sigh. At last, he marched out of the room while grabbing a set of keys by the door. But not before he threw another concerned look towards Aeyrin.

Annoying fucker.

The door shut close behind Raven and Aeyrin and Bishop shared a brief wry look.

"He's being weird," Aeyrin mumbled a little while she averted her eyes again.

Bishop couldn't help but snort at that in mild amusement. He wasn't the only one.

An uncertain smile crept on her face and she shrugged in response. "I… guess we all are."

There was another moment of silence. Aeyrin felt strange, meeting his eyes, so she focused on anything else that she could think of. Finally her gaze set on the black armor with thin Dwemer plates that Bishop didn't bother to take off yet.

"Thanks for getting me my armor back, by the way," she smiled weakly as she finally managed to look up at him. She was still waiting to come up with something to say that would finally break the ice and make everything more bearable.

She couldn't even remember the last time when she felt such trepidation around him. Maybe not even on their way to rescue Karnwyr, back when they met, after she made him wait an entire afternoon for her on the steps below Dragonsreach. Even then she didn't feel this out of place and uncomfortable around him. To her, he was always so easy to talk to, to relax around.

She sorely missed that feeling.

She missed feeling like that around anyone, really.

"Yeah. Karliah gave me back our things after… that raid. I didn't know where else to put it," Bishop shrugged before he took a swig from the tankard in front of him. "I… uh… I've been back there once after you picked it up…" he rubbed the back of his head, pondering about how to broach the subject. He wasn't even sure if it was a good idea to bring it up, but every time he thought about Lydia, he felt so guilty. Back at the cabin, when he told everything to Aeyrin, he didn't even think twice about selling Lydia out. She had every right to be pissed at him for it. He had promised her before this wouldn't get back to her no matter what and he broke that promise without a second thought. "I talked to Lydia. She… she mentioned that she never even saw you."

Aeyrin knew instantly where he was going with this. In retrospect, she was quite surprised that Bishop had admitted that Lydia helped him out. He could have made up anything at that point and Aeyrin would have no reason to suspect him. It was somewhat commendable, especially with how close he and Lydia seemed to be getting. But still, she almost wished that he did make something up. This just made things worse for all three of them.

"Look, princess, I know you probably avoided her. I just… fuck… it wasn't her fault, you know? I didn't give her much of a choice," Bishop sighed while he gave her an uncertain look.

Aeyrin kind of suspected that. But that didn't change the fact that she still felt betrayed. And besides, she could barely even discuss anything with Bishop now, she didn't want to go through the same uncomfortable struggle again with Lydia. Maybe in time, when she could finally work through some of the things that were constantly plaguing her mind.

"Why are you going to Whiterun so much? Isn't that too risky?" she scowled at him, deflecting from the topic quickly.

"It's… not so bad," he sighed somberly when he realized that he wouldn't get anywhere talking about Lydia. "I told you that I know the smuggler route. It's pretty safe. And if I only come at night, I just need to sneak into the house. It's easier without you there."

Aeyrin knew what he meant by that. But that sentence still made her feel oddly… hurt. She promptly averted her eyes again and began concentrating on her tankard rather than to see the realization on his face.

"I… I didn't mean… fuck. I just meant… the sneaking and, you know, guards might be more on alert for me, if you're in the city…" he stammered at her while shaking his head to signify just how much he didn't mean it the way it came out.

Nothing's been easier without you.

He pondered telling her just that, for a while, but the topic got interrupted again when she spoke.

"So, what are you working on now?" she asked him quickly as she looked up at him once more. She tried to think about what his last missions entailed, those before Falkreath at least, but that only made her think about everything that had transpired there again. She realized herself a second later and she dropped her gaze from him again. "If… if it's not a secret, that is."

Fuck, that was painful to hear. Especially when she had that sad look in her eyes. Didn't he tell her that he wouldn't keep things from her ever again? Not that he could blame her for not believing him though.

"It's not," he sighed. And even if it was, it would hardly matter to him. No more stupid mistakes like that. It took way too long for him to learn his lesson already. "I'm just… doing the odd jobs. Nothing really specific. Karliah has me running around and doing whatever she needs help with. Nothing really exciting either. I just came back from the Rift. Had a meeting with Brynjolf to suss out the state of the Guild."

"Oh? How are things at the Guild?" Aeyrin asked eagerly.

"Not good. With Thorn dead and most of his clans slaughtered, a lot of people are making their… disapproval of Mercer more known, I guess," he smirked lightly in response.

"Really?" she raised her brows at him. She thought that the operation if Falkreath was just supposed to remove the threat that could be sent against them, she had no idea that it would have such an impact on things in the Guild. Didn't they just… kill the thieves' allies? And besides, wasn't it good that there was more dissent? Wasn't Karliah aiming for that?

"Thorn was… kind of like this ever-present ghost," Bishop explained. "Mercer would threaten everyone who pissed him off with sending them to him. Now that the threat is gone, the Guild members feel a little braver to speak their minds, I guess." It did sound like good news, but surprisingly enough, Bishop sighed forlornly after that. "But… now Mercer needs to compensate for that. He needs to make them afraid again. So… apparently, he's been kind of terrorizing anyone that speaks up against him."

Aeyrin scowled deeply, shaking her head. Was Mercer really so petty that he couldn't gain loyalty in any other way?

What was wrong with people?!

Oof, no, don't even try to think about that.

"Brynjolf really let me have it," Bishop chuckled weakly after a brief moment of silence.

"Why? It's not your fault," Aeyrin raised her brow at him. It was not as if he made Mercer into an insecure tyrant.

"Some of it is…" Bishop mumbled so quietly that she barely heard him. This time it was he who averted his eyes from her as he began staring into his tankard with a somber look.

"Well… some of it is Brynjolf's fault too," she gave him a defiant nod.

He smiled back at her, but he wasn't even sure if it made him feel any better. She wasn't wrong. Brynjolf allowed too much shit to go by unnoticed. But just the fact that she didn't think that everything was only his fault, just the fact that she still defended him and reassured him, made him feel both relieved and… angry. If she really believed that, if she really didn't blame him for everything that was wrong with how things turned out, why the fuck did things need to be like this?

"Did you tell him that?" she grinned at him. She was imagining the shouting match already in her head. Gods, did she really miss even that?!

"No. He… looked like he needed to vent. And a scapegoat to blame," Bishop shrugged with a weak smile on his face again.

"That's… surprisingly… docile of you," she sighed. Why was she somehow disappointed by that? He seemed… different. She may have secretly wished that he was just as miserable as her, but she never thought to see him this… defeated. The way he talked, the way he acted.

It made her feel so guilty.

She hated herself for feeling like that.

She had to keep reminding herself that their parting was the right choice. And that he made his own bed, in large part.

But it still didn't stop her from feeling guilty.

"Ehm… so… how are you doing with your missions?" Bishop changed the subject with a frown etched on his face. He made it clear in his letter already, that he was none too thrilled about the kind of work that she's been put to. Well… she wasn't very thrilled about it either.

"Fine… I guess," she sighed while she looked down onto the table, brushing her hand through her hair, before she stopped abruptly again.

This wasn't the first time Bishop noticed her do that. It looked almost like some subconscious tick. She would brush her hair back until her hand touched her ear, then she would stop herself, often fluffing her hair to hide it completely below her gold-blonde locks. She was obviously frantic about hiding it from view.

"It… it isn't going as well as it used to… uhm… not like it ever did… it's just…" she still kept her eyes away from him, but at least she seemed to be willing herself to actually talk. Did she mean the battles or the absorptions? If she had to face dragons alone this time, it would be no wonder that things weren't going well. Fuck, how he hated Raven for this idea. But if she wasn't talking about the battles… why would the souls be harder for her to take in now? She was doing rather well before.

It was even more heartbreaking, knowing that she likely wouldn't allow him to try to help her in any way. Not that he knew how.

Before she could elaborate, however, the door swung open and Raven marched back in. With a deadpan look aimed at Bishop, he threw a stack of papers on the table angrily.

Fuck, so much for that. Now back to the awkward silence.

Bishop grabbed the papers with a sigh when Aeyrin clamped up and he began looking over the contents. There weren't many exciting things to go over – they were old and mostly completed operations. But Karliah had decided not to leave anything to chance ever again. Not that he could blame her. So he was going through everything that was already accomplished, pinpointing any minor phases that were skipped or inconsequential now with how the situation had developed.

They would discuss how to handle those when Karliah showed up.

Raven and Aeyrin got back to work too, leaving her sitting quietly and looking over the maps on the table, while Raven scribbled down some paragraphs on his papers. Bishop could still feel Raven's eyes on him from time to time though. He was constantly throwing him disgruntled glares.

And eventually, it didn't escape Aeyrin's notice either.

"You two seem worse than usual," she spoke quietly with a frown directed at the both of them.

Raven merely gave her a weak smile in response while he shook his head to indicate that it was nothing for her to worry about.

Bishop, however, answered all too quickly: "Yeah. Raven's pissed at me, because he blames me for what happened in Falkreath."

Raven's brows shot up instantly, and he gave Bishop an alarmed look.

Aeyrin did understand what Bishop was doing though. The honesty was somewhat heartwarming. It was clear that he was trying his best to prove to her that he was regretful over the secrets. She wondered if she should reassure him that he wasn't to blame, but on the other hand, they both knew that it wasn't true. Not entirely, at least.

"Raven wanted to handle things differently," Bishop continued as he narrowed his eyes at Raven. Suddenly this didn't seem like an attempt at honesty anymore. The spite was practically oozing from his words. "He wanted to drag you somewhere to hide you until the bounty was taken care of."

Raven sneered at Bishop hatefully in an instant with a low growl escaping his throat.

"What? Raven! You think I'd let you do that?" Aeyrin gaped at him. As if she let Bishop and the people that she had actually come to consider her friends put themselves in such danger on her behalf! "Besides, what would you even tell me? I didn't know about the bounty," her voice got quieter. She didn't want to bring it up again, but she was really stumped over Raven's plan.

Raven scribbled something hastily on a small parchment. That deep furious frown was still etched on his face.

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HE should have told you!

.

Bishop's hateful glare pierced him instantly. It was not that he didn't agree with that now, but he'd really like to see Raven do better in his situation.

"I did what I thought was best! It's so fucking easy for you to spew shit at people from your high horse when you didn't even know everything! You think even if she knew about it, she'd let you hide her away in one of your dismal hideouts for Gods-know-how-long?!"

Raven's response came promptly. His writing was barely legible as his hand shook in anger.

.

At least she would have known what she was up against! Everything that happened to her is on YOUR head!

.

Aeyrin's thoughts started swirling again as the unpleasant memories were battling all her rationality. She didn't want to think about it like that, but at times, she herself couldn't stop when she was alone. That was bad enough. Now the two of them were just determined to make her think about this again when she could finally concentrate on something else, even if it was just some stupid caravan routes. She could already see Bishop seething, readying himself for another retort.

"Stop! I don't want to talk about this! Please, just stop!" she yelled, a bit more loudly than she wanted to. She felt the panic rise in her again as her thoughts became overwhelming.

Bishop deflated instantly and he turned his eyes down at the table. He was clearly displeased about having the chance to defend himself taken away, but she could swear that there was a measure of guilt etched on his face.

Raven hesitated. His hand was hovering over the parchment and he still looked so angry.

"Raven, could you please finish that?" she looked pointedly at the incomplete instructions. She needed to distract herself quickly.

At last, Raven pushed the paper with angry scribbles away and returned to his previous one.

Uncomfortable silence fell over the room again as they all tried their best to focus on the work instead.