It took almost two hours of insufferable silence before the door to the attic room opened again.
Karliah raised her brow the moment she took stock of the company, and an understanding sigh escaped her lips a second later. It seemed that she had figured out at last why the meadery was so quiet – the tension in the air must have been palpable instantly.
However, she seemed to decide that the best course of action would be to act as if nothing was amiss. Finally! Someone who didn't instantly get tense in that situation.
"Afternoon. I hope you didn't have to wait for long," she uttered casually as she made her way towards the last chair by the large table.
Bishop didn't answer her – he was still concentrating on the papers in his hands. So in the meantime, Karliah nodded amicably at Raven and Aeyrin.
Raven stood up from the table to get Karliah her own bottle of mead, leaving Aeyrin to look over the notes he had made. There wasn't much interesting insight in them, only the information on the specific merchants and caravans – which ones were carrying the biggest shipments and had the most guards, to both make Maven more grateful for preserving the goods, and to make things easier for Aeyrin with the help of the mercenaries. He had several weeks of schedules and routes around Morthal and Dawnstar written down for her – they never knew when a dragon would hit after all.
"You're going through these again?" Karliah leaned over Bishop's shoulder, peering at the parchments. "That's… so… diligent of you," she raised her brow at him curiously. It didn't seem like a good idea to point out that he was just doing it to distract himself. It might make things more uncomfortable again.
"In any case, you can leave it for now. I have something else for you today," Karliah smiled at Bishop conspiratorially.
"Thank the fucking Gods for that! I'm getting bored out of my skull with this cleanup shit. This better be something good," Bishop's face got decorated by a smirk as he tossed the papers aside instantly, without much care to where they landed. So far, it has been nothing but checking in with informants or taking care of things too insignificant to be noteworthy during the already completed phases. It was never anything even remotely exciting.
"A heist of sorts. But it's a little different. You have access to the College, correct?" Karliah leaned down to grab the pack she had previously tossed on the ground. She began rummaging inside before she pulled out several parchments.
"Uhm… not really," Bishop scowled. A heist sounded good to him, but his previous visits to the College were somewhat dependent on Aeyrin's presence. "Don't you?" he redirected the question to Karliah. Wasn't the elf that they had met at The Frozen Hearth a smuggler from the College or something like that?
"Aye, Enthir," Karliah nodded. "But he isn't exactly as… subtle as I would need him to be for this. He actually runs a little black market within the College walls. Most of the people there hardly mind, but… let's just say that he's being watched too closely. But you told me that you were on your way to the College when we met in Winterhold. I assumed that you were allowed inside," she frowned at him in response, obviously disgruntled about having her plan disrupted.
"I was. Well… we were," Bishop threw an uncertain look towards Aeyrin. It was obviously too much to hope for that she would come with him to ensure his access, right?
"The mages let us in because they wanted to study my powers," Aeyrin sighed, explaining. "But we did help them out in the ruins… and the last time we were there, they didn't even question our presence. I'm pretty sure that they'll let you inside," she gave him an encouraging smile. Well, that was not what he was hoping for.
"If not, improvise," Karliah nodded resolutely. "Use Aeyrin's name, if you have to, tell them she needs some information and couldn't make her way there herself or something." Aeyrin would have gotten a little stunned at that comment, but it wasn't as if she minded. And she was too busy being impressed by how unfazed Karliah seemed. For the first time, probably, someone actually didn't get flustered at the current awkwardness of her and Bishop's relationship. It was so refreshing.
Bishop didn't seem too thrilled about that, but he nodded nonetheless. After he threw a questioning look Aeyrin's way to reassure himself that she didn't mind. He still kind of hoped that she'd offer to go with him instead. Besides, he saw the maps. They would be going in the same direction for a while. He could go through the Rift but… he kind of wanted to go in the same direction. Maybe she wouldn't be opposed to going with him for a while. Maybe they could finally talk alone properly.
"I'm going to need you to get to the library when you're there. It's time to return to phase sixty, after the disruptions with the bandits. We need Gallus's journal decrypted," Karliah passed Bishop a few parchments, pausing to give him time to look over the details of his mission.
"Are you going to steal from the library? The Orc's going to kill you!" Aeyrin gasped, half-mockingly. Although she wouldn't put it past that man. He seemed to take his books way too seriously.
Bishop smirked at her, but he didn't take his eyes from the papers. It looked like he would be spending some time waiting in the library. He was gonna be there anyways, so he might as well look into any information that they had on the Elder Scrolls. He could at least help Aeyrin out like that, even though it was unlikely that he would find anything useful.
"Oh, Aeyrin, I almost forgot!" Karliah exclaimed suddenly when she was attempting to clean up the myriad of papers on the table, organizing them. "Sabjorn said that a courier came by and left a letter for you. He's… not allowed up here, so he gave it to me when I came in," Karliah took one of the folded parchments and handed it to Aeyrin.
What? She'd barely been here for a few hours!
Then again, she was walking everywhere around the area for the past week and a lot of people saw her. But still… this was getting too creepy. How did the courier always know how to find her?
Well, she wouldn't figure out that mystery now. With palpable curiosity on her face, she unfolded the letter:
.
My dearest Aeyrin,
you wouldn't believe the hundreds of different rumors I hear about you and your exploits every day. It makes me miss you constantly.
I know that things didn't exactly end on a good note the last time we saw each other, but hopefully, you don't hold a grudge over the entire Order for that mess. Well, who cares about the Order? I just hope that we're still good.
I know that you probably don't want to go back to Solitude now, but I was hoping to see you again. I was just told that I'd be heading on a solo mission to help out the Vigilants with something in the Reach next month. Would you be up for meeting me there?
I'll be staying in the Vigilants' base, but I suspect that I will be spending some evenings at the nearby tavern. It's called Old Hroldan's Inn. If you have time, I'd love to see you.
Azshan
.
Bishop watched her curiously while she read that letter. It didn't look as long as those she usually received from Therien. It could have been from Delphine. Was there finally any progress at deciphering that picture wall or something?
Then he noticed her lips quirk into a rather adoring smile.
What was that about?
"Who's it from?" he tried to sound casual. He tried to sound barely interested, only making idle chatter, but he was pretty sure that he had failed miserably. He could not hide the edge from his words. Besides, Aeyrin knew him better than to think he would ever make small talk.
"Uh… Bishop," Karliah tried to get his attention back to the papers about his mission. Now for the first time, she actually looked as uncomfortable as the rest of them. She must have noticed the tone that his voice took instantly.
Aeyrin gave Bishop a surprised look at the question, but it wasn't as if she couldn't tell him. It… did seem a bit strange that he pried though. Their relationship seemed too distant for that at that moment.
"It's from Azshan. He wants to see me," she smiled a bit.
"What?! You're going back to Solitude, after what happened?" Bishop scowled at her while his voice rose considerably.
"Bishop," Karliah's tone turned from uncomfortable to a warning one, but Bishop hardly even registered her interruption. That doting smile that appeared on Aeyrin's face whenever she saw that stupid paladin before was pissing him off to no end. And now she was even going back to Solitude to see him?
"I am not going to Solitude. He'll be travelling alone on some mission. Casavir won't be anywhere near," Aeyrin answered, but her voice gained on tension as well. She obviously didn't appreciate justifying herself to him.
She said it like it should reassure Bishop. But Casavir was honestly not the one he was worried about anymore. He knew that he should just shut the fuck up and move on. He knew that he shouldn't press on. He knew that he shouldn't say what he wanted to say.
But he just couldn't help it, for some reason.
"Right, that's better. Not like he'd have any reason to want to see you somewhere far from his hounding overseer, right?"
Instead of another warning, Karliah slapped her hand above her brow and hung her head down into it in exasperation. She didn't really know anything about the people that the two of them were talking about, but Bishop's tone and Aeyrin's frustration with it were telling enough.
Raven, on the other hand, listened with rapt attention.
"What? What are you even talking about? I'm meeting my friend! Not that I have to justify myself to you! Besides, since when do you have a problem with Azshan?" Aeyrin folded her hands over her chest defiantly, giving him a scowl right back. Didn't he realize how uncalled for his jealousy was now? Besides, Bishop seemed fine with Azshan the last time she saw them together. But… granted, that was before Bishop got convicted unjustly for poisoning her.
"He's no different from the rest of those prissy hypocrites," Bishop growled.
"Really? You seemed all friendly with him back at the Castle," she raised her brow at him. Although, Azshan really was somewhat convinced that Bishop had poisoned Aeyrin afterwards. Maybe Bishop was bitter about that.
"Doesn't mean anything. I just figured he wouldn't rat me out since he was the one who suggested I go inside the Castle to see you. Besides, he was pretty fucking quick to turn one me later, so I don't see why I should be 'friendly' with him in any way," Bishop scoffed. Why were they even talking about that idiot now? This was not where he was heading with that conversation. Huh… Aeyrin seemed to be surprisingly subtle with deflecting the tense points of conversation.
"Azshan told you to go inside the Castle?" she gaped at him in surprise. She did ask Azshan to inform Bishop about her condition, but she never realized that he would do that. That was kind of sweet of him. He saw how much she actually wanted to see Bishop back then and he had goaded him into taking that risk. Wait… was it sweet? Well, knowing Azshan, the intention was probably just to cheer her up.
"Oh… right, yeah. I guess I didn't tell you about that," Bishop nodded absentmindedly. He was internally debating whether to tell her the truth about all the help he'd actually received from Azshan, whether to get the conversation back to his previous suspicions about the paladin's intentions, or whether it would be better for him to just drop it altogether.
Eventually, the second option won over. He still couldn't help himself.
But before he could speak again, Aeyrin's face contorted into one of hurt and her voice suddenly got much quieter.
"Shocking," she scoffed derisively.
A guilty look took over Bishop's face instantly. Another secret, even something so pointless and trivial. He wasn't even sure why he had never told her. Azshan asked him not to, but it wasn't as if Bishop cared about what he wanted.
The silence stretched on. Aeyrin avoided his gaze pointedly and Karliah's hand still covered her face. Bishop was pretty sure that she was rolling her eyes under there constantly.
Raven suddenly grinned at Bishop insolently while he grabbed his quill again and began scribbling something down.
.
Wow. Finally someone figured out how to shut him up.
.
Aeyrin looked over the words with an uncomfortable expression while Bishop sneered at him hatefully.
"Good thing someone knew how to shut you up," he growled at Raven a second later.
"Bishop!" Aeyrin chastised him instantly just as Raven held up his middle finger to him.
"Mistress's mercy, enough!" Karliah raised her voice at them. It was probably the first time Aeyrin heard it reach those heights. She was usually so calm and composed.
That finally made everyone quiet down. It felt a little like a mother, chastising her children. Well… they were acting a bit like children, probably. Karliah grabbed one of the papers on the table with determination and shoved it into Bishop's hand.
Uncomfortable silence reigned over the room again as they all attempted to get back to work.
…
The relative peace didn't last as long as Karliah may have wished.
Raven was still throwing the occasional hateful scowl towards Bishop and he himself couldn't help to look over towards Aeyrin at times, trying to discern her expression. He certainly didn't want to leave things off like that. No matter how stupid and insignificant the secret was, it obviously only reminded her of all the other ones.
He had suspected that he'd be out of his depth talking to her whenever they finally ran into each other. It was no wonder. He wasn't sure what to do at this point. He never really… wanted anyone back before. He had no idea what to say, whether to make it clear to her, or whether to keep his distance and to give her some space. He tried to imagine what he would want in her position, but the truth was, he couldn't even imagine ever wanting to end things between them.
It would have been so much easier if they were alone.
He hoped so, at least.
Aeyrin didn't spare him a glance back. He knew that she could feel his eyes on her, but she adamantly concentrated on Raven's notes and her own map, drawing paths on it with her charcoal. She must have gotten a new one, the old paths and markers from their travels were no longer there.
It made Bishop kind of sad. The old map was rather full and confusing, but it showed all their journeys, all the places they've been together. The thought that she wanted to forget them made him even more anxious and morose.
He felt like he needed reassurance from her that he was being ridiculous with those thoughts, but he bit his tongue and kept quiet. At that point, he wasn't sure if he'd get one… and that would have probably been even more painful.
Raven threw Bishop another look, narrowing his eyes, before a slight smile quirked up his lips. He took hold of his quill and scribbled down another sentence on a small parchment, which he unfolded and somewhat smugly held up to Aeyrin. Bishop tried to ignore him, but when it became obvious that Aeyrin was too engrossed in the work, trying to block out everyone around her, Raven cleared his throat loudly.
They all looked up at him, peering at the note. It wasn't as if he kept it tilted away from Bishop and Karliah's view – in fact, it looked like he purposefully leaned it over a bit to make it visible.
.
Are you going to stay the night again?
.
"Uhh…" Aeyrin seemed dumbfounded by his public question. Her cheeks flushed deep red instantly and her face twisted in discomfort.
What the fuck was Raven even playing at? Was he trying to piss Bishop off? It was so obvious that he wanted him to see that!
But more importantly, what the fuck?! What did he mean 'stay the night'? And 'again'?! There was no way in Oblivion that it was how it sounded, right? But her reaction didn't really reassure him. Maybe it was just because she saw through Raven's attempt at pissing Bishop off too, but… what if she got flustered because there was something to it?
"Raven, what are you doing?" Karliah broke the silence with a tone that clearly carried warning again. Poor her. She seemed to be the only one actually adamant at trying to behave maturely. Bishop would have liked that too. It would probably gain him much more sympathy with Aeyrin than his current behavior did. But he couldn't help himself.
Raven gave Karliah an innocent, confused look, but it only earned a derisive scoff from Bishop: "Oh please, you're so fucking obvious. If you think I'm gonna…"
"Enough! Can we please not start again?" Karliah interrupted him quickly, trying to diffuse the situation before they got into another spat. "Children. I am surrounded by petty children," she rolled her eyes with a deep sigh before continuing. "Aeyrin, you are of course free to sleep in here again, if you still don't want to go to Whiterun. I'm going to be staying the night too this time, so my bed won't be free this time. But there's plenty of room. There. Everyone happy?"
Aeyrin just nodded, still blushing. She quickly averted her eyes, looking back over her papers.
Bishop merely sighed in resignation. Well… Karliah did obviously emphasize the fact that Aeyrin stayed in her bed before. And he did know that she wouldn't be staying in Whiterun. The prospect of a soft bed was likely hard to pass up for another night in the wilderness. It still didn't really reassure him. Why was Aeyrin blushing so much at that? He expected her to get angry at Raven's obvious provocation.
And what did Karliah mean by 'plenty of room'?
Bishop's eyes rested instantly on Raven's large double bed in the room.
Fuck, this made him so pissed. There was no way that Aeyrin would be doing anything with Raven, right? Right?
He needed to stop thinking about that. But that seemed currently impossible.
Would she actually be considering being with someone else like that? The thought of that made his stomach clench. He couldn't even think about anyone else like that. Maybe it was because he still hoped that they'd get back together. But Aeyrin had told him that she just needed time, right? Was that still true? Or did she decide already? But then again, the letter she sent seemed kind of… hopeful. But maybe he really was reading too much into those words.
For fuck's sake stop! Stop thinking about it!
He wanted to talk to her so badly…
Alone.
He was tempted to ask her to get away with him for a while. But he wasn't sure if the conversation would go well at that point. He might just make everything worse.
Fuck, he hated this helpless, defeated feeling.
…
The evening dragged on for some time yet.
When Karliah and Bishop finally had all their details worked out and their plans in check, he stood up to leave.
Raven and Aeyrin were still staring into the papers, but Bishop was almost sure that there was nothing else to absorb from them. They were dealing with fucking caravan routes! It was not like it could possibly take that long! They were likely just attempting to appear busy and trying not to start anything again.
Aeyrin didn't look his way the entire time, but now that he was about to leave, her eyes finally peeked up at him.
She gave him a weak smile and an awkward wave.
So much for that…
He wanted to ask her to come outside with him and talk. He wanted to ask her to go with him and travel with him to Morthal. They were both going that way anyway! He also got a strange urge to just drag her from the chair, toss her over his shoulder and take her away from there and force her to talk to him.
None of it was probably a good idea.
He could just make things worse.
Or… she could just say no. The thought of that was too painful.
At least now, he could still have some hope.
He only nodded at her.
He didn't spare Raven even a glance after that as he turned on his heel and draped the hood back over his head.
This was definitely not how he had imagined their reunion going.