Aeyrin stomped across the road, seething.
What was wrong with him? He knew that she didn't want to talk about things like this. Why was everyone so curious why she was 'ignoring' this person or that person? What did it matter to anyone? It was her life, her relationships! And it wasn't as if people couldn't understand her wanting to keep some distance for a while, was it?
And if her so-called 'friends' didn't understand, well… then they weren't really worth the worry, were they?
Master Therien would certainly understand. Why was Bishop making such a big deal out of it?
He was just trying to force her to talk. Like he always was. He just wanted to push through things so that everything would go back to the way it was. She wanted that too. More than anything. But she could not force herself to barrel through. She couldn't handle thinking about everything at once.
If he needed to constantly talk about her to anyone he met, he could have as well given her the courtesy of keeping her in the dark with this! She didn't want to deal with this. He was all secretive with actually important and life-threatening things and now he decides to bother her with every petty detail? Why wasn't he concerned over her reaction now?
If all of this was his attempt at being 'honest' with her, it was definitely poorly handled.
Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut and let them enjoy each other's company, forgetting the outside world? Didn't he want the same thing?
Ugh… she really felt like killing something.
She didn't even notice where she had been walking. It took her a long time before she actually stopped in her angry strides and looked around. There was not much else than snow surrounding her now, but she could see the wide tundra of Eastmarch in the distance from behind some banks.
Maybe she'd run into a giant there or something. Hopefully that would help her get some of the frustration out.
…
Bishop dragged his feet onward, following the road west from Nightgate Inn.
He didn't linger there. He was in no mood to tolerate the looks that the innkeeper was giving him.
Last night was… far worse than he had feared. He suspected that he would be bringing up a touchy subject – he knew how she was lately. But that… that took more out of him than he had expected. He still didn't understand how everything deteriorated so fast. And most of all, he was worried that the anger she now felt towards him would not be easily overcome. He feared that this would actually make her decide that she no longer wanted anything to do with him.
He was still determined to fight for her. Whatever it took. But… just then, he felt like he had barely the energy to walk, let alone chase after her.
It would do him no good anyway. She would only get angrier. If nothing else, he knew that he needed to give her some space for a time. Not just for her sake, but for his too. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to stand another fight like that one. Even trying to get her to stay and calm down made things worse. He didn't even want to imagine the firestorm that would come if he actually tried to catch her in her flight.
Fuck, was she right to get so pissed off? He knew that it could be uncomfortable when he tried to meddle in her life, in things that technically didn't concern him, but… was it really so inconceivable for her that he still cared about her? He thought that she cared about him too, that if she saw that he was not doing that great, she would try to help him too. She always had in the past. But the opposite had become abundantly clear. She must have known what she was doing to him, constantly leaving, constantly giving him hope and then just tearing it apart a few hours later.
But she didn't care.
He wondered if this was all really in vain. If instead of clinging to her, he should try to move on with his life. But he couldn't. He couldn't even entertain that thought without getting an uncomfortable empty feeling in his very core.
She was the best thing that has ever happened to him. He never felt so content and comfortable with anyone. Even back when he was travelling with Jules, life always seemed so shitty. Jules made things better, but there was never a moment where he was actually happy. Maybe it was because even when times were good, despite the banditry and their lack of freedom, life wasn't too bad, except… except for the constant knowledge that soon, he would lose his brother.
He hadn't felt like that with her. Even towards the end, when all the shit with Thorn and Mercer came crashing down on them, even then he felt like there was hope. That they would get through this. That they would always have each other.
He couldn't let that go.
Karnwyr circled his feet with a low whine, trying to get him to move faster or to do something. To go hunting and take his mind off things perhaps. The wolf could see how upset he was right away.
But as much as Bishop appreciated his efforts, he couldn't bring himself to do anything but continue morosely with no particular destination.
Nothing would help him take his mind off things.
…
Aeyrin traveled for a long time, undisturbed.
It was definitely not what she had been hoping for. She wanted to take all that rage and use it to bash some scoundrel's face in. She wanted to get all that pent up energy out of her.
But… the longer she just walked, the more time she had to think. And as much as she hated that, she could suddenly hear herself.
She sounded insane. She got so angry… over what? Over some questions?
It was… an uncomfortable topic. She hasn't gotten back to Master Therien in a long time, not since before Falkreath. He wrote several letters, at first only updating her on the state of their efforts with Jora and some news regarding the death of an old priest from Chorrol. But when she didn't answer, he wrote again, worried. She got two more letters then, each more heart-wrenching than the other. She knew that he had no idea whether she was even alive.
But she wanted to tell him what happened. She wanted to seek comfort and advice from him. But… she wasn't ready to talk about it. And she just… postponed and postponed and… now she was here. She wasn't even sure how it happened, why she let him worry about her so much. But she did. And every time she was starting to feel guilty about it, she quickly forced herself to stop those thoughts – she wasn't ready to deal with them after all.
What was wrong with her?
Why could she not help herself but be like this?
She couldn't even step foot inside a temple ever since she left Falkreath. It used to be that she would at least try to meditate and seek some peace of mind. But she couldn't. Time to think and reflect only brought pain.
She just wasn't ready.
Maybe she really needed something to take her mind off things.
Luckily, the opportunity presented itself eventually.
She'd been crossing the tundra the entire day in no particular direction. She barely even noticed when she stepped back onto a paved path and headed south towards the Rift. A little crestfallen at the lack of any outlet, she continued down the road on heavy feet. She had resorted to simply finding a place to rest and letting her anger fester inside her. What else was there to do?
But once she finally saw a familiar settlement down the road, it became clear fast that an undisturbed rest would be the last thing that she would find there.
She stepped into the small mining village by the road. She and Bishop had passed through it several times before – it was an inevitable thing on the way from Riften to Windhelm. But they never did any more than that.
It was dark already, but there were no miners by the fire, no cheerful songs and no chatter of villagers. It was definitely not like the mining village that she was used to back at Darkwater Crossing. There was only one man there – a Breton, clad in fur armor with two lithe swords at his hips.
He did not look like a miner. And he did not look like a guard either.
"Ho there, pretty lady. What brings you here?" he approached her with a wide grin. Some of his teeth were missing and he had a large faded scar across his cheek.
"I'm just travelling. Heading to Riften." It was a lie, but why would he care? "Just… looking for a place to rest before I head out again."
"A traveler, huh? You are… very armed for a traveler," the Breton looked her up and down, scanning her shining armor. The grin never disappeared from his face.
"The roads are dangerous. There are dragons about," she shrugged noncommittally. The hungry look he gave her equipment confirmed what she had suspected all along. This man was a bandit. "Where is everyone?" she looked around. The place looked really deserted, but she felt like she heard some sounds coming from the nearby mine.
"Asleep already. It is pretty late," the Breton grinned.
It wasn't that late. The night had barely fallen. Real miners would have left the mine only a while ago and they would have gathered around the fire by now.
"You can rest here, my dear. You can take off all that metal over there and claim a bed. Don't worry about a thing. The rest of the folks here will sure give you a warm welcome," the man's grin widened even more as he inclined his head towards a small house nearby.
She had no doubt about the 'warm welcome' part.
Aeyrin gave him a small smile and headed towards the building he had indicated. It would likely be empty. She suspected that everyone was in that mine. And besides, the man wanted her unarmed. She had no idea what numbers she would be facing, but for now, she had the element of surprise.
She entered the small cottage and looked around. It was really dark, but she managed to locate a candle nearby and took out her flint to light it. It was right on the windowsill and it would definitely let the man outside know whether she was still awake. Perfect.
The small house was empty, just as she had suspected. There were only a couple of beds and cupboards inside and a small lavatory in the corner. The Breton claimed that everyone was asleep already. Did he not expect her to get suspicious to find the sleeping quarters empty? Then again, there probably weren't enough beds for everyone. The other buildings must have provided more of them.
She picked the bed closest to the door and unfastened her bedroll from her pack. Then, she grabbed the blanket off the bed, crumpled it and arranged it along with her bedroll to make it seem like there was a person curled there. It would be convincing when the room went dark again. When that was done, she grabbed a blanket from another bed and draped herself in it meticulously in order to hide the shine of her armor. She usually avoided such subtle approaches, but since she had no idea what she was getting herself into, it was probably the smartest choice. Besides, she couldn't help but be a little proud of herself. This was a clever plan.
She gripped her mace firmly, ready to snap it off of its fastenings at any second, and she walked over to the candle to snuff it out. When the light went out, she hurried into the most shadowy corner of the room and waited.
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness overtime. She was all ready for them now. She might have to resort to Shouting if there were too many of them, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that. She didn't want to alert anyone else nearby.
After several minutes she heard the door creak.
Five men walked in, all of them armed and tiptoeing around carefully. It didn't take them long to locate the lump on one of the beds and all of them approached it, spreading themselves around it. They didn't want to leave her any opening to escape.
"Wake up, sweetheart. Time to have some fun," the Breton from before snickered maliciously and his hand reached for the lump. Aeyrin could see him stop short with a surprised gasp a second later.
"Good. I'm always up for some fun," her voice echoed through the room as she lunged at the men in an instant. She raised her mace, freeing it from its fastenings and before the men could realize what happened, she smashed the fiery weapon in a wide swing. It hit two of the bandits in their heads and they cried out in pain and slumped to the floor straight away. The others stared in disbelief at their two comrades on the ground – their heads were on fire, the enchanted flames of her mace caught their hair and started to burn their scalps steadily, enveloping the entire room in their collective screams of agony. It was a bit of a disturbing sight.
The Breton was the first to rile himself up from the shock. His hand lit with green swirling light instantly and he hurled it against Aeyrin. She wasn't sure what it was, but she instinctively raised her free hand. A bright blue barrier formed in front of her faster than she had expected and the Breton's spell crashed into it, dissipating.
That was amazing! She hadn't used the ward spells in battle before. When she saw the green light, she instinctively thought of trying it. She knew that she could still Shout and avoid the spell if the ward didn't work.
The men seemed caught off guard by her preparedness. She quickly took the opportunity and smashed her mace against another one, hitting him square in the midsection. The man crumpled to the ground in pain, but another one finally managed to unsheathe his sword and attack her.
She felt the blade crush into the chain of her armor at her flank – there was dull pain there for a moment, but the weapon clearly hadn't made it through. When she managed to shake the pain off, she twirled in place, crushing her mace against her attacker. He fell to the ground just like the other one and she immediately swung again to bash his head in to ensure his demise.
None of the men on the ground let out a sound anymore. Now only the Breton was left.
Instead of attacking, he stepped back away from her with a defensive stance. There was no trace of the wide grin on his face, there was only fear and desperation.
"Please, enough! We'll let you leave, I promise!" he cried out. His hand lit with the green magic again, but he didn't cast it against her. He must have known that it was pointless.
"I don't plan on leaving. Now tell me what are you scum doing here!" she spat at him hatefully.
"Nothing, nothing! I…" the man stammered at her nervously, but when he saw the doubtful look in her eyes, he stopped the excuses. He knew that he had no choice now but to answer. "It's… it's just a small… refinery. I swear! We don't… we don't hurt anyone unless they get in our way."
Refinery… right. She knew exactly what that meant. As if that never hurt anyone.
"Oh, I got in your way, did I?" she scoffed at him. Perhaps if those fools all stayed inside the mine, she might have never even known that they were there.
"I… we… we just wanted to…" he started stammering again, but Aeyrin interrupted him right away.
"I know exactly what you just wanted to do. How many more are in the mine?"
"B-barely anyone. Two or three men, I swear," he raised his hands up defensively. The spell had dissipated a long time ago and luckily, he didn't try to cast another one.
It was a lie. A very blatant lie.
"The truth. Now! How many more men are here?" she glared at him.
"Over a dozen," he sighed in defeat. She had no idea if he was telling the truth now. But… she would simply have to improvise. It was not like she could plan accordingly anyway. She knew what was coming. Once she saw the operation – the thing that by now had destroyed countless lives, she would not be able to control herself. It happened every time. She was unable to be cautious, unable to think about tactics or the best approaches. She was always blinded by her rage.
"What happened to the miners?" she asked coldly. She already knew the answer to that.
"They… they got in our way," the Breton let out a desperate sigh. He knew that it was not an answer that would heighten his chances of survival, but he also did not dare lie anymore. At least not so obviously. "Please, please, for the love of the Divines, let me go. You won't see me ever again, I swear!" he cried out. He almost looked at the verge of tears.
Scum like him didn't deserve to live. He would do the same somewhere else, ruin more lives later on.
But… there was a man begging at her feet. Her father and Ri'zhassa had no right to have such an impact on her convictions. Besides, as naïve as that may have been, there were those who did much worse and they came out of it all as better people. She knew that too well.
"Leave. Now. This is the last time I see you, understood?" she kept her mace ready as the man stood up on shaky feet. He tried to give her a slight bow in thanks, but it was clear that he didn't actually know what to do in that situation. He stepped past her warily and only when he was by the door and opened it, he broke into a fierce run.
Aeyrin stepped outside and watched him flee for a while. She needed to make sure that he wouldn't take a different route into the mine to warn the men inside.
Now she still had the advantage.
…
Aeyrin watched the men scurry around a large boiling vat.
There were at least a dozen of them – the Breton didn't lie. There were crates of skooma and moon sugar everywhere, but the area was rather small. There didn't seem to be any more chambers in the deep mine, only a spiraling way back up and outside.
It was disgusting. Miners and their families were dead because of this. She should just Shout and have them all die in the inevitable explosion of the vat. Let them burn to a crisp like she did at Fort Fellhammer.
But the mine might topple onto her if she did. And even if she got out, she would ruin a perfectly good mine – a place for new people to settle and work. It wasn't worth it. Scum like that weren't worth it. And she had other ways of dealing with them.
She snuck lower down as best as she could. The men didn't pay her any attention yet – the vat was loud and they were all preoccupied with handling the goods. Luckily, there didn't seem to be any… customers lying about. That gave her a lot of options for a lot of damage.
The vat was boiling. Maybe some convenient frost would put an end to the process? It would definitely douse the fires under it.
"FO!"
The fires under the vat died down instantly and several men around got encrusted in a layer of frost.
Everyone around instantly perked up and they unsheathed their weapons, ready to attack. Two men closest to her charged instantly, but she was ready. Her shield was in her hand and she used it to bash one of them off of her while her mace swung at the other one. She took the opportunity of the first attacker's stagger and continued to smash her weapon into him as well.
The others were steadily approaching, but that was all part of the plan.
"TIID!"
It was almost too easy. The time slowed almost to a complete halt and she quickly ran around the small chamber, smashing her weapon into everyone in her path. She had enough time to dispose of the majority of the people there and when the time started to flow regularly again, at least ten men slumped to the ground, dead on the spot or caught in consuming flames.
The remaining three men charged her, but again, she was able to react fast, blocking their blows and instantly crushing her weapon into them.
It didn't take long before she was alone in the chamber, surrounded by corpses.
She checked them all for any signs of life before she turned towards the crates of skooma and sugar. She could have simply Shouted everything to pieces, but she was still wary of the vat. Who knew what would happen if it got caught in the impact?
So with a heavy sigh, she started to open each crate, smashing the tiny bottles to pieces and disposing of the white powder into a big pile. She soaked everything with the water from her waterskin then and stomped the mushy substance into the ground.
It took much longer than a Shout would, but it was worth it to be cautious. There was no need to repeat the chaos that she had caused at Fellhammer.
She simply couldn't help herself then. Every other thought was obliterated by her anger and bitterness. She needed to make those men suffer, she needed to decimate all the horror that she saw there. But it only caused her suffering later.
And now, it was different.
Was it because she had learned her lesson last time? She was so sure that she would succumb to the anger again, but she didn't. She remained calm, even after seeing all this. But… she didn't feel like she was that wary of what happened at Fellhammer. This felt… different. Even now, she didn't feel angry about how this would continue if she didn't stumble upon this operation. It was like any other den filled with bandits and other scum. It was a good thing that it was over now, but… it wasn't personal anymore.
This was no longer some revenge for her past. Because there was no need for it now.
She found closure.
And just like that, the uncontrollable anger was gone.
Was this why she got so angry at Bishop? Because she didn't want to deal with things that she had left unresolved? Because there was something deep inside her that she didn't want to access, that she wanted to forget?
It was not fair to Bishop. And it wasn't fair to her either. She didn't want to be like this. She didn't want to be wary of simply talking, because she was angry at herself for being unable to let go.
She told herself before that she needed to start reclaiming her life, yet she did nothing. She needed to at least try.
She should write to Master Therien. Whether she would tell him what happened or not, it didn't matter. But she needed to let him know that she was… alright. Or at least that she was going to be. He didn't deserve to worry himself so much just because she was afraid.
With a slight smile on her face she looked around once more.
There was still the issue of this operation.
If she informed the guards in Riften, there was a big chance that nothing would change. They were all corrupt, in Maven's or Mercer's pockets. They would surely use this place to start up another operation on their own and all her efforts would be pointless.
She pondered her options for a while before she sat down by a table in the chamber and fished around her pack for a quill and parchment.
.
Karliah,
I have run into a small skooma refinery in one of the mining villages on the road north from Riften. I disposed of the people guarding it, but someone needs to take this place over so that more don't simply replace them.
I hope you can think of something, I believe this could be turned into a successful mining operation again. And I hope it goes without saying that I do not want this place to operate like it did until now only under a different leader.
I hope this place is helpful.
Aeyrin
.
She stashed the letter back into her pack, satisfied with how things have turned out.
She was dead tired, but spending the night in the settlement was probably not a good idea. The Breton could still be planning on returning with more people.
Well… the only option that remained was to camp out in the wilderness.
She wasn't exactly eager to, but it was the safest bet just then.
…
Bishop stared at the letter that he had received an hour ago, conflicted.
It was kind of a comforting idea to have another mission to occupy his mind, but then again, he really just felt like wallowing and drinking his thoughts away for a bit longer.
Karliah wanted him to head to Dragon Bridge to track down the remnants of Jaree-Ra's smuggler gang – men and women who had been hiding away near the village. Apparently, Mercer had been toying with the idea of reclaiming his lost foothold in Solitude and Karliah wanted to tie up loose ends.
She had a contact and a small group of thugs ready for him if he needed backup, but his main goal was to find any evidence about the gang's deals with Mercer to see whether they could be bought out from under him.
Bishop had been already sitting at the inn in Dawnstar for over a day, just drinking himself into Oblivion. The nightmares were a pain at night and he felt like death, but at least he didn't remember them. He was pretty sure that he knew already that they would be filled with images of whatever his imagination conjured up regarding Aeyrin's capture by Thorn.
He was already feeling shittier than ever, what more could some fucking unpleasant feelings in the morning do to him? Dawnstar was the closest to his trail and he needed a drink.
But… it was probably a good idea to do that mission.
Maybe it would help take his mind off things.
Although he didn't really believe that.