–

AN: I forgot to mention...this isn't exactly Blaine or Rachel friendly but it's not unfriendly either. It's all mainly from Sebastian's POV and he and Santana have similar ideas about them but they're still around and some of the characters like them and talk positively of them throughout the story. Those are just Sebastian/Santana/Dani's feelings/words/thoughts. Sebastian and Santana don't really like a lot of people so in that way it's really a lot of people not-friendly. Lol.

–

3

My Thoughts

–

Thankfully the amount of time Sebastian was confronted with Rachel was not increased in the slightest. However, true to her word, Santana didn't say anything negative about her and the times they spent together she kept her tongue. Her face didn't exactly have the ability to hide her true feelings but she'd exercised remarkable control.

Also true to her word, she'd set Sebastian up with a guy named Landon. When he found out the name of the guy she was determined to have him make a real go with, she'd snickered at his reaction. "It's really mature, you want me to appear serious with a guy named Landon. This is just a sick joke to you, isn't it?"

"No, no, unfortunate name aside, he's a nice guy. I think you two will hit it off."

"Is he at least hot?" Sebastian adjusted the shirt Santana had saddled him with, it was too tight. Not to mention the jeans she'd deemed appropriate. He looked in the mirror and thought the clothes would have suited Kurt more. It was just cruel to give Sebastian this kind of reminder just before he went out on a date with someone else.

"Not your more recent type, but yes, super hot. If I wasn't currently dating a girl, I'd have gone out with him myself."

Landon was a nice, super hot guy. He also wasn't dumb. Far from it and if he had been just a little more oblivious, Sebastian could have seen going along with Santana's plans and giving dating him for real a chance. It was a guy that months ago he could have seen himself with for more than just a hookup.

"You're not really here." He stated point-blank before dessert could arrive.

"What?" Sebastian had been spacing out a little here and there, his thoughts going back to Kurt quite often. He wondered if Kurt would have liked this restaurant, if he'd have liked the movie they'd gone to first to give them at least a shared topic to discuss if all else failed. He wondered if Kurt would have been able to make the desserts they'd ordered. What would it have looked like had it been Kurt enjoying the food instead of Landon across from him?

Landon was interesting and Sebastian was interested in hearing what he had to say and they'd been getting along well. He just wasn't Kurt. Nobody would be Kurt.

Even now he wondered if Kurt would have liked Landon. He wouldn't have said until they were alone and he'd be polite about it unless there was something major sending up red flags for him. Could he even think about introducing Kurt to a boyfriend? The word seemed foreign to him and definitely not something that could be applied to him. He definitely didn't think he could introduce Kurt to one, that was just a mind trip.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Landon nodded to himself. "You're off with someone else."

"I'm sorry." Sebastian really was. This was a good setup, a good blind date choice, it just wasn't for him, no matter what agreement he had with Santana.

"No, no, I should have known Santana had ulterior motives. Nothing about her shouts philanthropist."

"No, I suppose not." Sebastian laughed with Landon. "I am sorry though. I agreed to this date, I should have tried harder. It's just that... well, it's stupid really. I like this guy who is unavailable and Santana thought getting to know someone else would break that spell since nothing else so far has."

"I get it. I'm still hung up on my ex who got married last year." Landon shook his head. "Not only do I think they're too young to get married but they're all wrong for each other. That ship has sailed though and yet I can't stop thinking about him. I came on this date for similar motives, to try and convince myself that there were other guys out there that I could be just as attracted to in all ways and to get over him."

"How's that working for you?" Sebastian asked, completely serious.

"Well you're certainly the most interesting and attractive that I've gone out with." Landon gave a small smile. "If we were both into this, we could have been great together."

"Santana is going to gloat so hard." Sebastian knew it wasn't even worth hiding the truth from her.

Landon eyed Sebastian critically for a moment as their desserts were set in front of them and they both thanked the server. "Speaking of weddings, my older sister is getting married in a couple of months and when the invitations came out, I thought I'd be going with my ex. Ironic, isn't it?" Landon shook his head. "They've been asking me who I'm bringing or if they should change my RSVP or set me up with someone at the wedding." Both shuddered at the notion. "So... maybe to keep Santana off of your back and my loved ones off mine, we... pretend that this went as she planned?"

"I'm not sure if Santana planned for this to fail utterly or to succeed. With her it could have been either or both." Sebastian regarded Landon's proposal though seriously. "It might even make my... might make him jealous." Sebastian hated the word crush, it wasn't a crush, the feelings he had toward Kurt was something else.

"It might make my ex jealous too if we run into him." Landon nodded, also seeing that as a benefit.

"Santana's going to see through it. She'll stalk both of us until she gets to the bottom of how it really went. It doesn't help that I live with her, it'll make it all the easier for her to sniff out without having to break in." She would have had a key anyway.

"Then maybe we give this a real go? She can't expect us to be head over heels for each other instantly but work at it as if it was a real relationship. We both acknowledge the other is attractive and fascinating. Now it's a matter of developing more off of that starting point, seeing if we work after getting to know each other more. Fan the flames of attraction and more."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at Landon's words. "You'd be ok having sex?"

"I don't see why not." Landon agreed. "When it gets to that point." Sebastian didn't have any problem sleeping around currently, but he wasn't in a relationship and he'd never had Kurt. If he'd been with Kurt sexually, it might change how he viewed everything. It might not. Perhaps Landon's views on it would be an indicator of how Sebastian would feel in this fictional world he was building in his head. His attraction to Kurt had certainly only slowed him down for a moment before he was back to his old tricks, when he realized he wasn't going to get into Kurt's pants any time soon, if at all. He still had needs that needed to be met and he couldn't wait around for Kurt while he got his jollies with Adam. Besides, Sebastian's hand wasn't enough.

"It's definitely going to have to be part of this farce. I won't be viewed as a cheater if someone catches me with another guy just because you aren't putting out. They'd never believe me if I came clean about what you and I agreed to, especially if you don't back me."

"Understandable." Landon grinned and it only served to make him more attractive. "So we're doing this?"

"I was under strict orders that we can't have sex tonight." Sebastian pointed out.

"Yeah, I was too." Landon shrugged. "Might help us sell it if we abide by that condition."

Sebastian gave a shrug. "I know, which is too bad because I look especially hot tonight and Santana wasn't lying when you said you were super hot."

"You definitely know what to say to turn a guy on." Landon's brown eyes were a steady burn and Sebastian debated each move they could make.

"I'm skilled in many areas, but no, we are going to wait." Sebastian firmed his resolve. "We'll even go further and do the whole 3 date thing before we even kiss and a couple more before we take it to the bedroom."

"Very calculating." Landon gave an unconcerned shrug, turning his desire off like a switch. Sebastian wondered if he was good at faking it. There were a few things that guys couldn't fake but with the touch of a few right places, there would be no need to even pretend to fake it. He'd be putty in Sebastian's hands and fully into it.

"I think we might be a match there at the very least." Landon looked over Sebastian's body with something other than consideration and calculation this time, but assessing how their bodies would fit together.

Sebastian flashed not to the previous man he had in his bed, but to Kurt in his arms out in the unseasonable cold a few weeks ago. Even while frozen to the bone, he'd warmed Sebastian with just his nearness. Sebastian's heat had warmed Kurt and it had bounced back and forth between them. Only concern for Kurt's health had kept it from fanning into an inferno. Kurt hadn't even been aware of the sexual charge in the air on Sebastian's side. He'd taped it down for Kurt's health and for the sake of their friendship.

Still, just the thought of being able to hold Kurt like that had fueled a few of the nights Sebastian hadn't gone out on the prowl.

He should be fantasizing about what it would be like to get Landon in his bed, but his thoughts were back to Kurt again.

"And I lost you again." Landon laughed in a dry self-mocking way. "I'm ok with you thinking I'm someone else. I'll be imagining my ex too."

That should have turned Sebastian cold, but weren't they all imagining someone or something else if they'd found something they'd really wanted and it wasn't being delivered with what they were doing just then? Maybe not, maybe some people were able to just be present with everyone at all times. Maybe whatever they were doing with that person was as perfect as they imagined. Even if he could get Kurt into his bed, he was sure he'd be disappointed with reality. Nothing ever compared with his imagination.

–

Despite their bet, Sebastian couldn't turn off his feelings and Santana had to be aware of that too. So she couldn't hold it against him when he introduced Landon and Kurt and paid very close attention to Kurt's reaction. Kurt had been warm and inviting and didn't miss a beat. It had no affect on him whatsoever. Again reality was a bitter disappointment to what Sebastian had created in his mind at this introduction.

Landon was smooth and charming and they played the role of two guys getting to know each other perfectly. Santana couldn't find fault in their performance. He didn't think she was buying into it, but she also wasn't questioning it.

Adam greeted Landon with a very warm welcome too. It was Blaine who was moody and sour and cold toward Landon. He was the jealous snit that they'd been hoping to get out of Kurt at a lesser degree. Kurt even if he had been jealous wouldn't have been such a... well, he wouldn't have let it out like Blaine had. He might not be able to hide his initial reaction but he'd be pleasant.

He had no initial reaction, which was the most telling thing of all for Sebastian. He really had no interest in Sebastian. Sebastian really had no chance with Kurt. Reality sucked.

Kurt and Adam left first and were the most gracious people about the addition to their group. Rachel took absolutely no notice of anything, saying hello and brushing it off to the side to talk about herself. Santana's lips had twitched once or twice but she wasn't close to breaking point yet but was getting there.

Rachel breezed out of there shortly after and Blaine reluctantly followed after. Santana stayed back with them but Sebastian couldn't stay much longer. Santana and Landon had known each other first so it hadn't been awkward at all with the three of them remaining. They were able to banter and talk easily but when it was time to go, Landon went with Sebastian.

Several feet away from the cafe and sure that Santana wasn't following with them, Sebastian let Landon speak. "So that was the one you were trying to make jealous?" Landon checked though it had been obvious to any who was watching Sebastian closely. "Ouch, I'm sorry."

Sebastian shrugged. "I already knew I had no chance with him. I thought maybe- but no- there wasn't even a flicker of anything."

"He's cute, I can see why you're interested."

"Cute?" Sebastian checked, that was not how he would ever describe Kurt, except maybe when it came to certain actions or faces he made.

"Adam was more my speed, honestly." Landon explained. "But my trouble is that I'm always going after the same types of guys. Maybe I should mix it up a little more, take a page from your book."

"What does that mean?"

"Blaine's got claws and a privilege complex. An ex?" Landon landed on it without being needing to be told. Sebastian hadn't planned on either Rachel or Blaine being there that day. Santana clearly hadn't either. Only Kurt hadn't seemed remotely surprised by their arrival.

"I went to school with him for a hot minute, we hooked up a couple of times before we moved out here. It was easy access, you know? Especially since it was a boarding school. We attend different schools now and I never thought that I would be running into him nearly as much as I have been in a city of this size."

"Talk about that a little more." Landon coaxed. "How is it that he's still so embedded in your life?"

"Santana's my best friend, has been for ages. I met her when we both attended a private school in Ohio together. A few things happened, we got sent to different schools for our senior year but we applied to the same colleges and got in, choosing to attend the same school under our parents' noses. It worked out since we both like our school and our majors." Sebastian gave a non-committal shrug, not going into what had happened in the past in Ohio. "Fast-forward a bit and Santana's taken a job at a diner as a joke, only actually going to work more than once or twice because she gets to sing for tips there. She meets Kurt and Rachel working there who also went to school in Ohio together and came to New York together although they attend different schools now. Rachel and Blaine go to the same school and became fast friends. Kurt met Adam at Rachel's school one day when he was visiting. The rest as they say is history."

"There's a lot more in there than you're saying." Landon read that pretty easily but Sebastian hadn't attempted to hide the fact that there was more juicy meat to the story. Sebastian just wasn't willing to tell it, not even to his fake boyfriend.

He didn't know all of the details about Rachel, Kurt, Adam and Blaine's situation either. Those were stories he'd like to hear more about. What happened with him and Blaine had been witnessed by Santana and if she hadn't, then he wasn't sure he'd bother telling even her about it. It was a stupid period in his history that he had only come to regret with the repeated interactions he'd had with Blaine. Blaine pretending that history didn't exist suited him just fine. They could both pretend to forget it happened for all their sakes, but Sebastian learned from it and so would never actually forget. To actually forget would only be an opening for a repeat and he wouldn't make those mistakes again, nor let anyone he cared about make those mistakes.

"Anyway, all I meant by being more like you, is to try different types out. I know you, Adam and my ex are nothing alike in personality but there's something physically that is similar. Could be purely looks, or the fact that you all have a slight exotic accent or something else. I haven't sorted that one out yet. Either way, when you and I are finished with what we're doing, I might try to experiment with other types that are in no way similar. I'll just steer clear of the Blaine-types, I always have but it just reinforced that desire today."

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I wasn't, that's the problem. At least not with my upper head."

"Hmm... is it time yet to see the smaller one?"

"Nothing's small about it." Sebastian countered. "I think we could probably convince Santana that we waited the proper amount of time."

"Thank god." Landon pulled Sebastian to him and kissed him. "I haven't been this horny for awhile."

Truth be told, Sebastian was more than ready himself to take Landon to bed. He hadn't gone this long without sex for quite some time and never by choice.

–

Santana was sitting at the kitchen table when Sebastian came out of his room later that evening. Landon had gone home before she got there. "He didn't spend the night?" She sounded incredibly disappointed.

"Sorry, no free peep show for you."

"Nah, it wasn't that. I just wanted to see how good it was for you. Obviously if you kicked him out, it wasn't all that spectacular."

"He and I both have class in the morning." Sebastian defended their actions. Neither had wanted to face down Santana's scrutiny fresh from sex. Now they'd both showered and couldn't give anything away since they weren't sitting there together in front of her. She couldn't judge one off of the other and see if they were on the same page. She could try to commit it to memory as best as she could, but it wouldn't be like having both there at the same time.

"Never stopped you before. You could have at least fit in one more round sometime before the morning."

"We have a lot of mutual respect for each other. We didn't want to go for a marathon at this point. We'll save it for the weekend."

"Hmm." Santana's lips pressed together. "Honestly, I'm surprised you two waited as long as you had. I would have thought you'd broken my request without a second thought. You must have really liked him to wait but not enough to jump him earlier."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Santana you make absolutely no sense. Is there ever a right time but the right time to have sex? For everyone and every set up it's going to be different."

"Yeah, yeah, ok." Santana still eyed him suspiciously though. "You're still going to date him after this?"

"Yes." They still had the wedding to get through.

Her lips twisted. "I'll believe it when I see it. Sex with you is usually the killing blow to any chance of you having a long-lasting relationship with someone."

"Those were all hookups that we went into with eyes open about. No one, especially not me, thought we were going to last beyond the night in the past." Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest, daring her to say more. It wasn't like he was or had bad luck, it wasn't like sex equaled the end of a relationship. Though it was just his bad luck to want someone he could never have.

He waited for her to point out the obvious. That he was still hung up on Kurt and had just had sex for the first time with the guy he was dating. That they'd had sex for the first time after he'd introduced him to Kurt. That only had a small part in the timing of their first time together. She had no way of knowing though that Landon had gone into the situation with that particular knowledge already. Sebastian wondered if Santana suspected Landon was at all still hung up on his ex. None of mattered though, she had no room to judge as she was guilty of the same thing time and again. She may like to pretend break ups didn't bother her, but she still clung onto feelings and memories even when she said she'd gotten over it, that it wasn't affecting her and that it was in the past.

He just had to look toward her ongoing feud with Rachel as proof. That wasn't a love affair gone bad, and she might be good at keeping a lid on it right now, but it was still there, simmering. If she felt that strongly in her dislike of Rachel after everything she'd done in revenge to Rachel just existing; then there was no way she felt nothing for the women she dated after they broke up.

Instead, Santana just nodded and gave her approval to them moving it onto the next level. "If it doesn't break you up, it'll bring you closer."

Physically, yes, she was right. The rest of it- they seemed to be splintering apart a little. They continued their charade and did a damn fine job of it too. No one suspected, not even Santana.

Landon was just getting a bit awkward and Sebastian was getting bored with the role. He hadn't wanted to be an actor and it seemed to be all he was doing these days. It was exhausting battling his true feelings and person on several fronts.

One day, Sebastian called Landon out on it. "Are you developing feelings for me? Did sex change something and now you can no longer go on as we have because you're just bursting to tell me you love me or something? Because if that is the case, we have to do something about that, pronto."

"What? No." Landon shook his head vehemently and that stung just a tiny bit that Sebastian hadn't made him fall in love with him accidentally. That would have been a good pride booster. It was also a great relief. "I actually feel a little guilty, is all. I know it's stupid, he's married but I still love him. I thought maybe if it was someone that I was in 'a relationship with' then I wouldn't feel that way. Except it only makes me uncomfortable since it's not real in the slightest. It makes it worse, truth be told. It's like I'm chasing after what he has and settling instead. It doesn't help that we're both so forthright about the situation too, at least if I thought only one of us was pretending then I could convince myself it might be more. That maybe I could even trick myself into feeling the same way eventually. It's just kind of sordid and I'm not sure I want to do it anymore. I should probably focus on finding myself a real relationship."

"What about your sister's wedding?" Sebastian didn't have any stipulations in their agreement that he'd lose if the guy Santana picked out for him was the one to end it. It made it even better that Landon was citing something that wasn't Sebastian's fault, like feelings for an ex.

"I'll cancel the plus-one." Landon was willing to accept that fate now. "You helped me get over the stigmatization of it at least."

"I can still go with you to the wedding, as friends." Sebastian offered.

"That's kind of you, but I don't think either of us will be able to explain that if either of our situations change."

"Mine's not." Sebastian have a half-hearted shrug. "Mine's going to go the distance."

"There's a bit of a blind spot for you then, if you think that's completely true." Landon reached out and squeezed Sebastian's shoulder. "Though you might have a bit of a wait in front of you."

"He doesn't care what I do." Sebastian argued.

Landon gave a half-smile, a bit pitying even. "Don't wait around for him any more then."

"What are you going to do then?" Sebastian asked, actually feeling genuine feelings of concern for Landon in return.

"I'm going to try and get on with my life, but the right way. Feel free to tell Santana whatever it is you need to. I'll back it up."

Sebastian for a second had the half-baked idea to have sleepovers at Landon's place to throw Santana off the scent, especially if they weren't so close to her proximity, but this was the best timing for an out. "Will I see you again?"

"Probably in passing. We do go to the same school. I'll still say 'hey'."

"Yeah, ok." Sebastian let Landon hug him for a final goodbye. He was glad that it wasn't his fault that this ended, that they'd at least given it a try even if it wasn't a real one. It was more than anything Sebastian had had in the past. He felt a little more ready for a real relationship.

Maybe he wouldn't put up as much of a fight if Santana suggested another friend for him to try dating. It wouldn't have the dagger hanging overhead of their competition either and so wouldn't have to fake any part of it for others.

Yet, it wouldn't change the fundamental flaw in any relationship he might try. The guy wouldn't be Kurt and Sebastian wouldn't be able to think about anyone other than Kurt at that rate or consistency. His thoughts would be going back to Kurt, not whoever he was dating when he wasn't with them or when he was with them. When he was with Kurt he didn't feel his thoughts drifting off as much and certainly never to another guy.

Sebastian stopped cold as he realized that it wasn't Santana's reaction he had the most dread in seeing. Rachel's would be pitying but forgettable, she meant nothing to him. Blaine's would be gloating, stating that he knew Sebastian couldn't hold down a relationship, if he could, he would have done so with himself. That would be annoying but bearable, he'd know that Blaine was just wrong in all ways.

It was Kurt looking at him with pity that he didn't think he could stomach. He'd be viewed as lesser in Kurt's eyes. He would also be proven correct that Sebastian wasn't cut out for relationships and if the chance ever arose, would recall this failure and dismiss any thoughts of anything further.

Again, Sebastian thought about postponing it, but with the holidays around the corner, there was no way he could.

Least of which, Kurt was expecting him and Landon at his place for Thanksgiving next week. He didn't want to have to sit there and explain it all while Kurt carved the Turkey, and in front of friends and family.

–

"You're remarkably calm about all of this." Sebastian remarked as he and Santana hiked the stairs of the dreaded apartment building in the sketchy area that Kurt and Rachel still lived in. Blaine no doubt would have volunteered to live with them as protector if either had ever given an indicator that they found the area to be as dangerous as it was. That didn't come about because both were blissfully unaware of just how seedy an area it was. No one else really said anything either and if someone did say something, it was swept under the rug.

Besides, with Adam here practically all the time it was a moot point. They had a 'passing' male protector in him.

"God, I wish they'd get a place with an elevator." Not that she wished them closer to street level. In a city the higher the better in a lot of ways – out of the way of smog and away from prying eyes and miscellaneous danger. Unfortunately also further from the ground in case of an emergency or quick exit.

"That's about as likely as getting them into a better area of town." Sebastian looked around him once more, seeing all the cracks and peeling plaster amongst all the other stains he'd rather not think about and their origins.

"This is insanity. It's a long commute too." Santana was not having it today. Her calm demeanor was slipping away with every step of their ascension. There was a twitch developing under an eye too.

"As much as I'd love to see you finally blow up at Rachel, remember it's Thanksgiving and Kurt's worked really hard on everything for us." Sebastian pointed out in an attempt to waylay Santana. She'd been positively gleeful that their agreement had come to an end but it had been very poor timing.

She hadn't seen Rachel since the breakup and this would be the very first opportunity for Santana to let rip. He couldn't let her do that to Kurt. He'd spent a couple of hours with Kurt himself the other day, just the two of them, utterly alone in that coffee shop, all plans canceled with others the instant Sebastian said the words. He had put aside his own life to comfort Sebastian in his time of need. Sebastian felt a little horrible about playing into it when he really wasn't at all broken up about the end of a fake relationship. It hadn't been pity in Kurt's eyes or on his face, instead there was compassion and care and concern.

It was the first time Sebastian had realized that Kurt genuinely cared for him other than the usual spouting from 'friends'. There had been that scene on the street a month prior that had also confirmed that but in a different way. That had been in apology and wanting to patch up and continue their friendship. This was genuine concern about his well-being. Their friendship wouldn't have suffered if Kurt had given his platitudes and continued on with his life. It had changed once he put other things aside for Sebastian. It was touching, only Santana had done something like that for him in the past.

Even if Kurt hadn't gone out of his way for Sebastian, Sebastian would still have been protective of this dinner. Kurt was doing a lot for everyone and on top of that, he was meeting Kurt's family for the very first time. He wanted everything to go well, to go right, even if he was just being introduced as a friend. He wanted their good opinion of him.

"Yeah well, I've got your number. I know what is really in store for you with tonight." Santana jibbed but sobered up pretty quickly. "But you're right, this dinner is all Kurt's. He's always doing things like this for us and today is no exception. I don't want to embarrass him or ruin anything for everyone." One of Kurt's bosses would be there tonight too, the one he most admired and in his chosen field – Isabel. It wasn't going to be just Kurt's family and friends, but Rachel's and Adam's too. Those that could make it, anyway. It wasn't going to be at all small and intimate but it was still supposed to be somewhat classy.

"You've got my number? What are you, some kind of 1930s gangster?" Sebastian joked to try and help ease the tension building up in both of them.

"You know it." Santana laughed which triggered Sebastian's.

By the time they reached Kurt's door, they were both much calmer and ready to face what laid beyond.